Surrender My Eternal
by divinemissm26
Summary: Edward walked away...leaving Jacob to help Bella pick up the pieces on her own. Over time, relationships develop and fall apart. An unexpected person enters her life & it turns everything upside down./OOC/ Rated M 4 mature scenes,themes,& lemons
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes:** This story starts off in New Moon, right after Bella has jumped from the cliff. Alice did see the vision, but the reaction is different. Bella is able to move on without any sudden interference from the Cullens, and the chance to explore her feelings for those she loves. Sometimes, the easiest path to take...isn't always the best.

_"A human life is a fragile thing, but a human heart is even more so"_

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**CHAPTER 1 :::FRAGILE:::**

As we drove back to my house, I sat silently in the passenger seat of my truck. Cold shivers ran through my body in unsettling bursts, I tried to steady my breathing in an effort to control these tiny destructive quakes, but to no avail, they continued to assault my body, like an unforeseen assailant. I attempted to convince myself that these shivers were directly related to my noble effort of jumping off the cliff, and not the fact that I had come so close to leaving everything I knew behind.

It was all worth it though, cold or no cold - life or no life, I had heard my Edward. I carefully replayed his words in my head, _Bella...Please don't do this!._ My heart crumbled, or what was left of it. I felt the tiny pieces fall into the vast hole of desolation that enveloped my chest. I found it hard to breathe.

That is what was left of me...nothing. I had become nothing but a hollow vessel since the love of my life had made the decision for us and left me. I'd never had a say, being left behind to deal with the pain and so desperately wanting to wake up from this nightmare. But it was a nightmare, one that I realized I'd never wake from. I instinctively wrapped my arms around myself, in an attempt to hold it all together. I was trying to keep the pain at bay, maybe, just maybe if I held myself tighter, I wouldn't have to feel it. I clinched my eyes tightly, holding back the ever present tears. This was nothing new to me.

I opened my eyes when a soft cry broke through the silence in the truck. Jacob's head swiveled to me instantly.

"Bella?..Are you okay? Are you hurting?" His voice thick with concern, immediately brought me back to reality.

Hurting. Yes, I was, more than he could ever imagine. I debated answering him honestly, telling him how I knew I'd never feel whole again, that the pieces to the puzzle in my life were missing. That other part of me was out there somewhere and I'd never be complete without Edward, my soul mate. I shook the thoughts out of my head instantly; knowing I couldn't tell Jacob how I really felt, it would only hurt him. I managed the best fake smile I could and didn't look his way. "No, I'm just freezing. Once I get home I'll be able to get a hot shower, I'll be fine."

Wrong answer. Next thing I knew, I was being pulled next to him and his arm protectively sprung around my shoulders sending heat radiating through my body. I looked up at him through my lashes. "Thanks" was all I could manage.

"No problem, it's just a good excuse to get you next to me." Jacob flashed an authentic smile as his eyes lit up. He gave me a quick wink before focusing his eyes back in front of him.

We sat in awkward silence as I struggled through my memories of today's events. I had temporarily managed to forget the most important event of the day. The wolves had been chasing Victoria. I had been too busy wrapped up in performing my death-defying feat, only in the hopes of hearing _his_ voice one more time. Pathetic, the pack was busy risking their own lives; trying to literally keep me safe, and I was doing the opposite. I had let them all down, especially Jacob. I had selfishly put my own life at risk, and wasn't turning out to be the good person I had always thought myself to be.

If it hadn't been for Jacob I would be dead, but having the vision of Edward, somehow made it all worth it. Edward had looked so beautiful floating there beside me, descending with me as fate claimed my very own existence. He had not abandoned me in my final moment; he had reached out to me. I had never felt so peaceful before in my entire life. His presence, and his devoted smile, had brought a familiar calmness to the chaos around me, encapsulating us in our own indestructible bubble. I remembered trying to reach out to touch his pallid face, but my brain had ceased all communication with my limbs.

And then there was the red, I remembered seeing the flaming mass of red in the distance as it came hurriedly towards me. Fear. I remember feeling mind numbing fear. Once again I had tried to move, but my body had failed me. My body was suspended in slow motion. The weight of the water pushed against me, and the next thing I remember was seeing Jacob's face. I shivered at the thought of the fear I had felt, as I mentally compared Victoria's face with the flaming red mass. I turned in my seat to face Jacob.

"Did..did the pack kill Victoria today? She's dead right? Please tell me she's dead Jacob!"

Jacob sighed. "Sorry, she got away from us, I chased her to the cliffs and lost her from there. But, don't worry Bella, we're going to catch her. She can't run forever."

"You...you chased her to the cliffs?"

"Yeah, the nasty leech stopped on the edge of the cliff and tried to provoke me into following her. She gave up when I didn't and plunged straight in. Then I saw your crazy self jump immediately after. That's how I knew you were in the water! I wasn't going to take the chance to see if you would surface on your own, not with Victoria so close to you."

"Oh no" Tears began to fill my eyes. "Thank you so much Jacob." No, that wasn't good enough. "I mean..I owe you more than a mere thank you...I owe you my own life!" I climbed onto my knees and reached up, wrapping my arms around Jacob's neck hugging him tightly."Thank you so much!" I sobbed into his neck. "I'm so stupid, I don't know what I was thinking!"

"Bells, you're not stupid! And you don't owe me anything...I already told you that I'd do anything for you" He let out a short laugh shaking his head. "Besides, you don't need to owe _anyone_ your life; you have a hard enough time trying to keep up with it yourself."

I let a soft chuckle escape me as I playfully grabbed his head into my hands. I placed one hand behind his head and the other on his forehead and brought him to me planting a playful soft peck on his temple.

"Um, can you..uh...can you take your hand off of my face?, I kind of need to see the road if you want to make it home safely tonight." He let out a burst of laughter almost bouncing in his seat.

I removed my hands and turned back around in my seat, folding my hands into my lap and tried to laugh with him. There was no escaping reality, and even though it felt good to laugh, it wasn't going to erase everything I had facing me. I immediately felt myself slipping back into a somber mood. I sighed out loud to myself as Jacob pulled into my driveway.

I was home, and my nerves automatically went into overload. I wasn't sure if Jacob was expecting anything from me, he had been trying to get awfully close these past few days and I was unsure of his intentions. I was hoping that my sincere hug and thanks for pulling me out of the water would be enough for him. I didn't want to be in this position right now, there was no strength left in my heart to fight.

I quickly decided to play it normal, nonchalant; if there even was a _normal_ for Jacob and I. We definitely had a rare friendship, an uncommon bond. We held each others secrets from the rest of the world, and truly understood each other. Or did we?

I quickly plotted an escape from my own truck.

Jacob reached out and wrapped his strong arm around my neck gently pulling me to him. I could feel his dark eyes boring into the side of my head. I had to react quickly. I could handle being playful, but my heart couldn't handle anything intimate. I decided to take the serious route and spoke up.

"Thank you Jacob. For _everything_ you've done for me today. Thank you for pulling me out of the water. I don't know what I'd do without you." I smiled not knowing how genuine it came across.

I honestly tried. I removed his arm from around my neck and inched toward the passenger door to open it. "I need to get inside before Charlie gets home and catches me soaking wet."

Suddenly, I found myself being reeled back into Jacob's arms. I turned my head to react, and met him face to face; too close for my own comfort. I felt the heat of his breath dance on my face as he spoke.

"Hey, you aren't getting away from me that fast."

He silently beamed at me what seemed to be an eternity before he spoke again. "As I said before, you don't need to thank me for anything. I'd gladly do anything for you Bella; you don't know how happy you make me. And honestly, I don't know what I'd do without you either."

He leaned his face closer to mine while studying my expression. I smiled weakly as I understood he'd taken my last statement as I hadn't intended him to. He was taking it to mean that I couldn't live without him, which I don't think I could at this point in time in my life, but not in a romantic way. Not the way he wanted.

The feeling of warmth on my lips quickly jarred me out of my thoughts. I had been staring at him while my mind wandered and he must have taken it as an invitation, that I'd wanted the same as him.

I let out a sharp gasp and rapidly lowered my face towards my lap. Tears started to well up in my eyes. "Jacob...I'm sorry...I -" I was suddenly cut off by the ringing of a cell phone.

I looked at Jacob confused. My eyes darted back and forth around my truck as it struck me that it was my phone ringing. Thankfully, I'd left it in the truck before I'd busied myself putting my life on the line at the cliff.

"Are you going to answer that?" Jacob seemed amused at my bewilderment.

I opened the glove compartment to pull out my cell phone and flipped it open. '_Incoming Call'_ I frowned in confusion as the last ring echoed off the metal walls of my truck. I heard Jacob let out a muffled laughed as he shook his head.

I looked up at him with a quizzed look. "What?"

He continued to laugh. "You are looking at that phone like it just grew three legs!"

I raised an eyebrow at his comment. "No, I just don't know who it is calling."

Jacob seemed to be lost in thought for a brief moment as he stared out the windshield. "Maybe it was your Dad making sure you were okay." He shrugged his shoulders. "You know he doesn't like working late shifts and leaving you home alone."

I nodded in agreement and shifted myself to face the door. "Thanks again Jacob, I really mean it. I need to go inside though, it's been a long day and I should get some rest." I opened my door and swiftly climbed out.

Jacob peered at me through the windshield as I crossed in front of the truck headed for the front porch. I heard the truck door open and close behind me, then footsteps quickly approaching me.

I stepped up onto the first step and turned slightly to face him, focusing my eyes down at the ground in front of me. "Goodnight Jacob." I refused to meet his gaze knowing he was expecting more. I didn't want to see the hurt in his face. I couldn't bare it.

He let out a content sigh as he reached up and tenderly placed a stray curl behind my ear, my body stiffened in response. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him wince in reaction to my silent rejection. He dropped his hand and took a hesitant step back, "Night Bells"

Before I could apologize he was gone. I watched as his shadow disappeared into the wood line, listening until I no longer heard the leaves rustling beneath his feet.

The ringing of the house phone broke through my thoughts. This was a good thing; as I had begun to remember how Edward used to stand at the wood line waiting for me at night so he could meet me in my room. This was painful and I didn't need it, not now, not again. I quickly let myself in the house, turned on the light and darted for the phone. It was probably Charlie calling to check up on me, to make sure I was home safely. _Always the protective father_. I smiled at the thought.

I reached for the phone to answer it as I glanced at the caller id. '_Private'_ I paused. What was with these calls tonight? I continued to stare at the caller id as if were going to change. I shrugged to myself and figured if it was anything of importance, they'd leave a message. This was by far, the least of my worries.

I raced upstairs to the bathroom, turned the hot water on as high as I could get it, and stepped into the shower. My body adjusted to the steady heat of the water as it rippled over my skin. I tried to let the waves of anxiety and guilt wash away from me and down the drain; closing my eyes to envision it to make it more of a reality. It wasn't working, the sadness and heartache was overwhelming my body and I let myself break down and cry. It was better to do this alone. Charlie nor Jacob or anyone for that fact needed to see me like this.

I clenched my chest where my heart sat, shriveled and worn from the torment Edward leaving had brought upon it. I slid down the shower wall; my skin burning. I couldn't tell if it was from the hot water or my own pain. I didn't care. I wrapped my arms around my knees and leaned my head back, letting the water wash away my tears. I was beyond tired, I was exhausted, exhausted physically, mentally, spiritually, and most of all emotionally. I was in my own personal hell and there didn't seem to be an end in sight.

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**Chapter End Notes:** Please be kind and leave me a review! ;) I would love to hear about your thoughts and ideas! I know the first chapter has started off slow, but please don't give up on me as Bella continues to explore her emotions and questions her own sanity. Has she had enough or is she just really loosing her mind?

_**Coming up**_... Chapter 2 'Sanity"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes:** Has grief and despair from her loss of Edward finally taken its toll on Bella? Is she becoming unbalanced? Journey with Bella as she continues her internal battle; is she imagining things, or is it all real?

_"Sanity is the lot of those who are most obtuse, for lucidity destroys one's equilibrium: it is unhealthy to honestly endure the labors of the mind which incessantly contradict what they have just established." ~Georges Bataille~_

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**CHAPTER 2 :::SANITY:::**

I woke up in a sweat; face down in my pillow, my body still numb from the night before. I could feel the covers wrapped tightly around me, as a spider wraps its prey before devouring it. I felt overheated and trapped. I kicked at the covers and unwound myself completely. My skin was begging for the cooler air to embrace it, to calm it.

And then it hit me, like a gust of wind, tearing through my chest. I ached for Edward. Oh how I missed the touch of his cool hands, the feel of his gentle and loving fingertips as they caressed my body and refreshed me. I imagined myself wrapped around his beautiful and chiseled chest letting the coolness nip at my flesh and send goose bumps down my spine.

_Stop it! Stop it now!_ My mind silently screamed.

I rolled myself onto my back and took in a deep pained breathe. I had to stop doing this to myself; I had to stop imagining the existence of someone that would never be a part of my life again. Someone that had left me and destroyed my soul.

The words rang audibly in my mind. _It will be as if I never existed._

I let out a soft cry. _Stop! Stop!_ I shook my head feverishly to dislodge the thought and took another painfully deep breath. I had to seriously stop doing this to myself. If I was going to heal at all, if ever, I had to stop this self destructiveness.

The sun was beaming through my closed eyelids. It was as if someone was holding a flame above my face, the heat drilling its way in. I opened my eyes slowly, as if it were my first time to ever do so. I squinted and blinked rapidly trying to adjust to the exposure. No matter which way I turned my head, the sun was still there, begging to claim me. I sighed and sat up in bed giving up the fight. I noticed the tiny bits of dust dancing effortlessly through the suns rays. I chuckled to myself on the things I could find to amuse myself with. I came to the conclusion that I needed a life. I shook my head at my new affirmation.

I quickly busied myself with getting dressed, black sweat pants with tiny paint stains and a white tank top. That would do the trick. Making my way to the bathroom, I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I ran through different scenarios of what I could do today to entertain myself as I threw my hair up in a messy ponytail. I turned side to side in the mirror examining myself.

_Who Cares_ I thought. It wasn't as if I had anyone to impress.

I took my time heading down the stairs to the kitchen. I wasn't hungry by any means, but I knew I needed to eat. I settled for a bowl of cereal. As I situated myself at the table to eat, I noticed Charlie's coffee mug, half full, still sitting at his usual place. I realized that I must have been extremely tired to not hear him come home last night or leave this morning. I shrugged it off and dove into my cereal.

After breakfast, I washed up the dishes and swept the floor. I kept my mind entertained most of the morning with tedious chores. I cleaned what was already clean, and then I cleaned some more. I had decided laundry was next on my list when the phone rang. I checked the caller id. I hesitated for a moment knowing it was Jacob, the events from the day before spilling in and turning my stomach. He was my best friend and I couldn't ignore him.

I answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Bella! I was calling to check on you! See how you're feeling!" His voice came across animated and content. This was definitely my Jacob, the one I was used to, the one I loved.

"I uh,...I'm doing great! Thanks for asking." This was a lie and I bit my lip while I waited to see if he would dispute it.

"Are you really?" He paused for a moment. "I mean..you seemed so...distant last night. You just...had me really worried."

I sighed, he had bought some of it, but I could tell that he was concerned. I questioned it, was he concerned that I wasn't doing well, or because I had rejected his advances last night?

I concluded that it was both.

"Jacob, I'm doing as best as I can" I tried to avoid a more honest response in the hopes I wouldn't hurt him yet again. "I just...I was just overwhelmed by the events of yesterday." That should work, I crossed my fingers.

"I understand Bells...so...um" he hesitated.

"What is it Jacob?...Is something wrong?"

He laughed lightly "No, nothing is wrong...I.. well.. just wanted to see if you wanted to do something tonight...hang out maybe?"

I thought about it for a moment, I didn't want to get his hopes up, and I didn't have the strength to fight his advances and hurt him. "Can I think about it?...I'll call you back later and let you know...I really need to get things done around here."

I could hear him flinch through the phone as he took in a sharp breath. I knew Jacob so well.

"Uh..sure Bells...that's sounds fine. I'll talk to you later then." I heard the phone click. He'd hung up without even saying goodbye. That was so Jacob.

I shrugged setting the phone down, and set off to do some more cleaning.

_Wow is it lunch time already?_

The day had flown by so quickly, which was a good thing for me. Charlie had called earlier to say he wasn't coming home for lunch, that he would be going to the diner with some buddies from work instead. I frowned at the idea knowing I'd be alone until his shift was over. I was okay with that really, it's not like Charlie and I ever really had heart to heart conversations with each other. It was more of a direct line of questioning, and me trying to avoid answering in a negative way to upset him even more, _or_ to reveal the truth.

Charlie was still furious with Edward for leaving me the way he did and I couldn't really blame him. It had shattered my whole world as I knew it. I had become a shell of my former self. Charlie had pretty much kept me sheltered since that night. I never put up a fight with him, there was no need to. I never cared to leave the house anyway, so we pretty much stood in agreement on that one.

My life after _he_ left had pretty much become unbearable. I started shutting my friends out and spent most of my time hiding in my bedroom. School had mostly been a blur and it had even been hard to attend graduation without him. I had always seen us graduating together; I had also always seen us spending the rest of our lives together, the rest of our existence. He had promised me that I was his 'forever'.

I flopped down on the bottom step of the stairs wondering why I kept letting my mind take me in this direction. I shook my head in an attempt to dislodge my disparaging thoughts.

_Not going there today Bella!_ _He's gone! Edward left you! There will never be a 'forever' for you! Now get over it!_

I cleared my mind and sighed thoughtfully. It just would have been nice to have had the comfort of my Dad home for at least a little while. I would see him soon enough after his shift ended. I would make it through the day.

After deciding on a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch, I sat down to eat. It was so quiet. I glanced around the room surveying my work from the day, satisfied that I had done a superior job and that most things wouldn't need a good cleaning again for some time to come. I thought of Esme, always tidying up what was already clean. I missed her so much, I missed them all. I would give anything for one of her loving embraces, even if _he_ wasn't around.

I sighed and looked down at my sandwich. I started making out peculiar shapes on the toasted slice of bread. I tilted my head and determined one shape could be a half eaten donut. I grazed my eyes over it again and stopped, I found what looked like angel wings. I immediately thought of Edward. _My Edward _My stomach twisted in knots. I made myself shift my gaze up and out the window. I wasn't going to do this to myself. I was loosing it. I was now comparing toast to Edward. Maybe I needed some professional help after all.

My cell phone started vibrating across the kitchen table. I sat for a moment watching it slide and kick in its movements. This was somehow amusing, as if it had a life of its own. I wondered who was calling me this time, anyone important knew I was home today. _Why not call the house phone?_ I reached across the table and grabbed my phone before it danced off the edge and hit the floor. I flipped it open. Once again, it was _'incoming call'. _I sighed and shut the phone, maybe next time I would answer it.

I blew it off and as suddenly as my cell phone had stopped ringing, the house phone began its own usual song. I jumped up knowing it was Jacob being impatient, calling to see if I had decided to hang out with him tonight. I hadn't even thought about it to tell the truth. I checked the caller id. It was_ 'Private'_ again, same as last night. I wanted to scream at the phone, tell it that it was going to continue going unanswered as long as the number was hidden. This was one of Charlie's rules, being in law enforcement he didn't like answering calls that he had no clue who it was. He was strange like that, but he was Charlie. I decided not to yell at the phone, it wouldn't do me any good, besides the neighbors might think I'd really lost it.

I went upstairs to finally collect the laundry. I grabbed the clothes basket out of the bathroom and set it in the hallway. I figured I should go ahead and do sheets as well, there was nothing like having laundry become the highlight of your day. This would keep me busy and a good excuse not to go anywhere with Jacob this evening. _When had I decided to not hang out?_ I shook my head and figured I had known all along that I didn't want to go. I concluded that I could at least be decent enough to call and let him know. Maybe I could plan something with him tomorrow. Spend the day with him and his infectious smile. I made an official promise to myself that I wouldn't stay hidden in my house tomorrow. I would find something to do to keep myself entertained.

Lost in my thoughts, I finally realized I was still standing in the hallway staring at the bathroom door; I was standing firmly with my hands on my hips. _What was I going to do? Give the door a good talking to? _I collected myself quickly, thankful that no one was there to have witnessed it. I would have never heard the end of it.

I crept into Charlie's room, I felt like I was invading his privacy and he wasn't even home. He and I were the same when it came to that, and was quite happy for it. I finished tearing off Charlie's sheets and dropped them outside his door.

I made my way into my room and began pulling mine off of the bed. Suddenly a cold chill ripped through my body and I stopped dead in my tracks. Something was moving out of the corner of my eye. My heart literally felt like it came to a thudding halt when I glanced up at the window. A sudden gasp escaped my lungs as my body stood frozen in place.

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**Chapter End Notes:** Thank you for sticking with me and please don't forget to leave me a review and let me know what you think!

**Coming Up**... Chapter 3 'Conflicted'

Find out what has frightened Bella; will she try to explain everything into rationalization? Does Jacob give her the peace she's searching for or does he complicate things?


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes:** Is Bella so caught up in her own world that she's hallucinating? Or is something really going on? See how Jacob reacts to Bella's new information and if the bond between the two strengthens or deteriorates.

_"Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude." ~William James~_

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**CHAPTER 3 :::CONFLICTED:::**

I stood frozen watching the curtain whip loudly against itself as the wind forced its way in through my open window. I carefully gathered myself together forcing my breath to steady. Intelligible thoughts began to race through my mind. _Why was my window wide open? Who could have opened it?_ I knew for a fact the window was closed when I woke up this morning _and_ when I left my bedroom.

Everything in me begged for it to have been Jacob. The memory of the fiery redhead coming towards me in the water yesterday shook me to the core. My body trembled at the thought of her being so close to me. I questioned what would have happened had Jacob not pulled me out in time. I knew very well what would have happened, she would have had her justice. It was stupid of me to even ponder the thought.

I rushed to the window and slammed it shut locking it in place. The rattle of the metal echoed around the room. I turned around facing my room and leaned against the window sill. Cold chills ran down my spine as a haunting feeling of someone watching me dug through. I quickly turned around glaring out the window, I searched the yard and the wood line as far as I could see. I saw nothing, just various leaves floating to the ground and an occasional bird. I sighed and walked away, determined to find out what was going on.

I headed for the kitchen and grabbed the phone. I was calling Jacob, I knew he was the only person who could have been in my room, or at least that's what I was hoping for. But I wondered to myself why he would do such a thing knowing it would scare me. Besides, what need would he have to come in through my window when I'd only spoken to him earlier today. He knew I was home alone and could have used the front door. It didn't make any sense. I made the call.

"Hello?" He answered as if he'd just woken from a deep sleep.

"Hey Jacob, it's me. You sound tired." I figured a bit of small talk and then I'd get to my point. "Did I wake you?"

"Ah, no. I was just lounging watching TV, you're fine! Are you coming over to hang out tonight?"

_Shoot! I'd forgotten about that!_ "Er, can we make it for another time? I really need to spend some time with Charlie tonight."

"Sure no problem Bells, want to come over tomorrow for a cookout and bonfire instead?"

That sounded like something I needed. I hadn't been to a bonfire in so long I'd forgotten what one looked like. "Yes! that sounds great! What time?."

"I'll be there after breakfast to pick you up, that okay with you?"

"Yeah, uh, I'll make sure I'm ready. And hey! I have a question for you real quick."

"Sure...What's up?" I could hear the curiosity in his voice..

"Were you in my room today? Did... you come in through the window?" I bit my lower lip in anticipation of his answer. _Please Please say it was you!_

"What are you talking about Bella? Was someone there? What happened?" He was starting to get frantic and that told me right there, Jacob wasn't the one in my room.

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The sound of the horn from Jacob's car made me jump. I placed my breakfast dishes in the sink, wrote Charlie a quick note that I'd be home late and not to wait up for me. Fat chance, but worth a try. I grabbed my bag, and hurried out the door. Jacob was already out of the car holding the passenger door open for me. He was beaming from head to toe, his happiness bouncing off like a reflection in every direction. This was the Jacob I knew and wanted.

"Hey Bells!..I thought I was going to have to come in there and pry you out myself!"

I laughed as he picked me up in the air for a hug - squeezing me tightly. "Hey Jake!...I...canf...breafe!"

He laughed even harder as he gently set me back on my feet. "Having trouble speaking Bells?"

I nodded as the air came rushing back into my lungs and laughed with him.

He unwrapped his arms slowly and brought my chin up to meet his gaze, His smile was intoxicating, and I returned it happily. He bent down and kissed me on my nose.

"Get in so we can go, everyone is waiting on us slow poke."

I crawled into the passenger seat and he shut my door. In an abrupt manner he whipped around to face the wood line, looking as if someone had called his name. His stood staring, and I watched his eyes roam back and forth like he was searching for something.

I rolled down my window. "Jake, is everything okay?"

"Yeah... just some... unfamiliar scents" he slowly turned around to face me, he produced a forced smile that didn't reach his eyes. "It's nothing to worry about"

I shrugged it off and threw him a confused look as he climbed into his car. "So, you said 'everyone' was waiting on me...who is everyone?" It was safe to say that I had assumed that it would be only the two of us today.

He glanced over at me and quickly returned his eyes to the road before speaking. "Well, everyone as in Emily, Sam, Quil, Embry, The usual."

I nodded "Oh, so what are we doing then today?" I knew we had already discussed it last night, but I didn't know everyone else was going to be around. I felt a sudden sense of relief knowing that we wouldn't be all alone tonight.

"Bells, we're still having a cookout, don't you remember?"

I rolled my eyes at his comment. "Yes, I remember, but I didn't know it was going to be the whole tribe...you failed to mention that."

He laughed and shook his head. "Is that going to be a problem?

"Nope, not at all."

We rode in silence for almost the rest of the way before he spoke again. "Bella?"

I tore myself from the familiar scenery on the side of the road and looked at him. "Yeah?"

He reached over and grabbed my hand, fitting it gently into his. "Thank you for coming today...It means a lot to me that you did."

I smiled up at him, he was happy, grinning from ear to ear and it made me feel good to know that I was the one that had put that smile on his face. At least one of us had some joy in our lives. Too bad it wasn't mine, but I was determined that tonight I was going to find some regardless. I needed this, and I needed it badly.

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La Push was beautiful this time of day. The sun was setting in the sky, it's amber rays bouncing off the oceans surface as it slowly faded away. This was a signal to the Quileute tribe that it was time to light the bonfire. I watched as everyone assembled around this massive wooden heap that was wrapped tightly with driftwood and dried out branches. Everyone was gathering, each person contributing their own theory as to which was the best way to ignite it. My stomach rumbled, breaking me from my silent reverie. I had eaten way too much and snacked on everything in sight at the cookout earlier in the day. I grabbed my stomach and winced, I was beyond full.

Jacob raised his eyebrows in amusement as he noticed my queasy expression. "Want anything else to eat?

I cringed at the mere thought of it and replied curtly. "Funny Jacob...real funny!"

He let out a roaring laugh and ran his fingers through his dark hair as he shook his head. "The look on your face is priceless Bella." He held out his other hand still laughing and gestured for me to take hold of it.

I cast him an evil look and eyed his hand like it was a foreign object. His laughter was contagious and I never could stay mad at him long. It was easy being with Jacob, it was simple, and he always had a way of keeping my spirits up. I instantly tried to stifle my own laughter, but I couldn't hold it back any longer, I finally gave in and laughed along with him. It felt good, even though it was at my own expense. I reached up and grasped his hand. He gently pulled me to him -- giving my hand a tight squeeze and ushered me towards the bonfire. He settled on a spot and laid out a blanket.

I sat quietly in front of the bonfire, my eyes closed, feeling the heat gently caressing my face. I tilted my head towards Jacob and he brought his hand to my cheek, inviting my head to rest against his shoulder. I was distracted by the squeals of teens and adults alike as they splashed and played around in the water. I laughed to myself at how carefree they all seemed to be. I longed to have that feeling again. I knew that I would have it, happiness that is, but the issue was figuring out how to get there.

Jacob looked down at me through his dark lashes and smiled. "Having fun?"

I managed a crooked smile. "Yes, I actually am. It's peaceful being here with you."

Jacob responded by letting his fingers softly caress my cheek. I began to feel myself tingle as he placed tender kisses on the top of my head moving his way to my temple. My body stiffened for the slightest moment and then released. Jacob's touch felt too good to deny. I had been through enough these past few months and I didn't need to be so uptight. I wasn't quite ready to let myself go just yet, but if I did, I knew I'd be safe with Jacob. I knew he would always be there for me, he was my best friend.

Jacob pulled away from me just far enough to look into my eyes. He squinted his eyes and studied my face for a moment as if he were searching for something.

"Would you like to take a walk with me on the beach?"

I nodded and he stood up, reaching out his long muscular arm, wrapping it around my waist and pulling me up to him. Jacob's eyes flashed down to mine with concern.

"Are you okay? You've been very quiet tonight."

I stared at him for a long moment before answering. I quickly analyzed my emotions and demeanor. Neither seemed too stable at this particular moment, but I knew how to put on a good poker face. I was used to doing this with Charlie. By this point, I should have already won an award for it.

"Yeah, I'm fine...I was just taking everything in, enjoying it all." I hoped he bought it.

He smiled and curled his warm hand around mine, leading us to the beach. We walked in silence for a long time, breathing in the salt air letting it assault our senses.

After a short while of trying to keep up, I looked up at Jacob with a playful smirk. "Hey Jake, can you slow down this long stride of yours? My short legs can't keep up!"

He laughed. "Well, when you grow up..you'll be able to keep up!..It's not my fault you're so short and slow!"

I reached over and playfully punched him in the arm "OW!" I jerked my hand back rubbing it.

"Easy Bella, don't hurt me, I'm fragile!" He laughed and rubbed his arm feigning pain. I shook my head and we continued walking as the laughter died down.

Jacob came to a stop, his eyes cast towards the sand beneath his feet. "Bella," he said, his voice low and thoughtful. "Who do you think that was in your room the other day?... Honestly?"

I sighed and put my hands in the pockets of my jacket. I looked down in thought as I drew indistinct patterns in the sand with the tip of my shoe. I instantly thought of Victoria, but I didn't want to say her name out loud for fear it could be true. I preferred to deny it, maybe it was some freak incident, or maybe I could have opened the window and forgot about it. Both ideas didn't seem to be working out. I shivered at the idea of Victoria, I knew it was the only plausible one. I knew she was still out there, waiting to strike.

"I...I don't really know Jake. I've thought about it and can't come to any reasonable conclusions."

"Well I know it definitely wasn't me, I was sitting at home all day waiting for you to call me back." Jacob blushed at his unexpected confession. He suddenly added "Well, I was watching TV as well, fell asleep when I couldn't take anymore 'Do It Yourself' shows."

"Huh" I said under my breath, but knew that Jacob would still hear it. My thoughts were still running through scenarios that involved my window. I pressed hard trying to figure out the perfect one, one that would help me keep what sanity I had left intact.

"So," I hesitated. "Do you think it could have...been..._her_?" I bit down on my bottom lip nervously as I waited for his response.

He automatically knew who I was referring to. He stared past me, his eyes focused on something in the distance. He furrowed his brow and sighed deeply. He spoke without ever meeting my strained gaze.

"I'll talk to Sam, see if there's been anything new. I'll stay on patrol outside of your house when you're home and I'll ask him to have someone from the pack replace me when I need rest."

I took a deep breath, and then exhaled slowly. "Jacob, you don't have to do that, you'll wear yourself out! You don't have to protect me, I'll be fine. There is no need to give up your freedom to babysit me!." Tears started to sting my eyes and I blinked them back "I don't need you getting yourself hurt because of me!"

He finally shifted his focus to me shaking his head and let out a soft chuckle. He stepped closer to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "Listen...there's no need to worry about me, I can handle anything that comes my way. But I _will_ make sure that you stay safe." He reached up and stroked the tips of his fingers across my left cheek. "I promise you this." He traced the top of my cheekbone with his thumb then let his hand fall back to my shoulder. "If you want, I'll also check out your room when I bring you home tonight. See if I can catch any scents and figure this out."

I nodded and gave way to the tears as they forced their way through. "If you don't mind. I'd really appreciate it."

He stood watching me as the tears ran down my cheek. I looked down towards my feet, embarrassed that I was crying. He moved his hands to place them on either side of my face, forcing me to meet his gaze, and reached up with his thumbs to brush the tears away. His eyes were wary for a moment as they flashed across my face, then without hesitation, he leaned in and pressed his lips into mine. I resisted for a brief moment, giving in when he bit at my bottom lip forcing his tongue into my mouth. For some reason, my lips were moving with his in a strange, passionate way. I felt my hands move to his waist, grasping him tightly, I didn't have to be careful, Jacob couldn't hurt me. My head swirled, his warm lips offering new sensations that made my body weak. He reached his hands into my hair -- stepping in to me and pulling me tight against his body. He crushed his lips further into mine kissing me feverishly. In this one moment, it felt as though we were the same person. This ache... this feeling, I've felt it before, and it wasn't long ago.

And then it hit me.

I reached my hands up to Jacob's chest forcefully pushing him back, breaking our embrace. I gasped for air as tears started streaming down my face. I couldn't shake the image of Edward's face out of my mind. Guilt and betrayal washed through me. I knew it was irrational and I couldn't let it influence my decisions anymore, but I couldn't control it. I was broken, and I would break Jacob in the process, bringing him down with me.

"Bella?" Jacob gasped my name, trying to catch his breath.

The tears poured uncontrollably. "I'm so sorry Jake! I'm so sorry! I...I just can't do this, it's not fair to you!"

"Is this about..._him_?"

I nodded, silently weeping, my chest tightening up it's hold on me. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly in an attempt to relax myself.

He let out a resigned sigh. "No need to apologize, it's not your fault he damaged you."

"WHAT?!" I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. I realized I'd basically screamed and noticed a few people glaring our way. I quickly gained my composure. I snapped my words at him in a low tone. "So, I'm damaged now? damaged goods?, is that what you're saying to me Jacob?"

"No..no..I..uh..I meant that..." he was backtracking.

I interrupted him as I stood with my fists balled at my sides. "You know what? We both know what you meant! Just!...Ugh!...Just take me home!...NOW!" I stormed off towards Jacob's car without looking back.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:** I hope you enjoyed Chapter 3! Please don't forget to leave me a review! Your opinion matters to me, more than you know! :) Is Bella conflicted or what? I know it seems that she doesn't know if she's coming or going. Stick around because it gets better.

**Influence for this Chapter:** Song 'Fix You' by Coldplay

**Coming Up**... Chapter 4 'Safety' Will Bella continue being angry with Jacob or will she give in and forgive? Find out what else lies around the corner as she journeys into the unknown.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:**All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes:** Will Bella continue being angry with Jacob or will she give in and forgive? Find out what else lies around the corner as the mysterious unknown continues to plague her.

_Who can hope to be safe? who sufficiently cautious? Guard himself as he may, every moment's an ambush. ~Horace~_

* * *

**CHAPTER 4 :::Safety:::**

We pulled into my driveway, Jacob and I both at a loss for words. We had ridden in complete silence all the way to my house. I hadn't even cared to try and make conversation with him. I was still mad. He had glanced my way a few times acting as if he were going to say something and then would change his mind. He had kept both hands on the steering wheel and eyes focused on the road the entire ride. He was probably just giving me time to cool down and collect my thoughts.

I finally turned to face him and spoke. "Are you still going to come in and check my room out?" I tried to hide the fact that I was still worried, _and_ scared.

He sighed, shifting his gaze to the radio and didn't answer. The light from the clock casting a green glow on his face.

I frowned at his silence. "Jacob, you promised."

Now I _really_ felt guilty for using his promise against him. Maybe he was mad at me for what had transpired at the beach. I went back through the previous conversation and couldn't think of anything I'd said or done that would have set him off. I offered an apology just in case I was wrong.

"Jake," I reached out and touched his arm. "I...I'm sorry."

He looked up at me without a hint of any emotion on his face and then quickly let the facade fall. A look of guilt and regret emerged in it's place.

"Bella, stop apologizing. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one that screwed up. I'm the one that had to go and open my mouth and hurt your feelings."

He took hold of my hand on his arm with his left, bringing it up to his lips and kissed it gently.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for saying something I shouldn't have You didn't deserve that." He sighed letting our hands fall into his lap. "Now let's go in and see if I can pick up a scent in your room." He shot me a wary smile and made a sniffing sound to back up his comment.

I laughed "Okay, but as long as you don't make that sound when you do it!"

He flashed an overplayed toothy grin, ear to ear. "I'll try, but it's hard for me to contain myself!"

I shook my head laughing and pulled my hand back. I climbed out of the car and walked around to the drivers side, waiting patiently while Jacob took his time. He squeezed himself between the two front seats as he reached for something in the back. I noticed how the car shifted it's weight as he hopped out holding my bag in his hand.

"Here, you forgot your bag." He smiled and handed my bag to me.

I took it from him. "Thanks! I'd loose my head if it weren't attached!"

We laughed and made our way to the porch. I stopped on the top step as I dug my keys out and turned to face him.

"Hey Jake, thanks for doing this f--" His strong hand came down on my shoulder with a force cutting me off. I jumped and looked quickly at his hand then back to his face, puzzled.

"What the--" I was cut off again as he pulled me into his side.

He looked down at me as he put his fingers to his lips. "Shh!" He shifted his focus back out to the wood line and stood quietly watching and listening. I followed his gaze trying to figure out what he was searching for, I couldn't hear or see a thing. Just the quiet sounds of Mother Nature as she slept through the night. I don't know why I even tried, I was only human, no special abilities here. Besides, I couldn't do a thing if Victoria attacked me while I was alone, I couldn't outrun or outfight her. I could try and sing her to death, heaven knows my singing voice would bring sheer torture to anyone. I'd have to keep that option in my back pocket for future reference, just in case.

A low guttural growl escaped from Jacob and broke into my thoughts. I turned to look up at him and noticed his face was veiled in anger. His eyes stayed fixed on one particular spot in the wood line.

"Jake? What is it?...Is it Victoria?" My body began to tremble at the thought.

He looked down at me with a pained expression, slowly pushing me towards the door. "Hurry up and get inside, I'm right behind you."

"But...but is it her? What's wrong Jake...What's going on?" I asked frantically, turning to open the front door.

He shook his head without answering me and rushed us inside, shutting the door behind him. He fastened the locks then turned, leaning his back against it folding his arms across his chest and sighed. "No, it's not her." He walked slowly towards me

I raised a brow in confusion. "Then _who_ or _what_ was it if it wasn't Victoria?"

He put his hands up in defeat, then quickly dropping them to his sides. "I'm not sure, but it wasn't her."

"What do you mean, you're not sure?...You obviously have some idea, I saw how angry it made you!"

A look of shock flashed across his face before he managed a quick half smile. "You're trying to read too much into things Bells, I know for a fact it isn't Victoria, I'd know her scent anywhere. But I do think it may be a buddy of hers. I'm going to have to bring it to Sam's attention as soon as I leave here tonight."

"Now, come on, let's get up to your room." He motioned towards the stairs. "I don't want to wake Charlie."

Jacob and I crept up the stairs holding our breath like teenagers sneaking back in the house after curfew, trying not to wake up their parents. Well, that was sort of what we were doing but that was besides the point. We muffled our giggles as Jacob's heavy frame caused each step to squeak from the torture. He finally gave up and skipped a few before meeting me at the top.

Once we were safely in my bedroom, I shut the door quietly and fumbled for the light. Before I could even get the light switch in the up position, Jacob's voice broke through the silence.

"Uh...Bells?" I couldn't tell if his voice was laced with worry or fear.

I flicked the switch up and turned around to face Jacob. He was staring at my window. I silently gulped as I followed his gaze.

"My window is open again!" He bolted towards the window as I followed right behind him.

"No, stay back. I'll check it out." He said sternly.

I spun around and sat on the edge of my bed, crossing my arms like a scolded child. "Well it's not like my window is going to harm me."

He snipped. "Whatever." and continued peering out my window for the longest time.

I rolled my eyes and sat in a miffed silence as I observed the window. I noticed that this time the curtain was hanging _outside_ of the window, as if someone had left in a hurry and didn't care to be bothered with details. I wondered why someone would have left so quickly, and then it dawned on me that_ whoever_ this was, heard us coming up the stairs and had bolted. There was no way they could have left while we were outside because we would have seen them. Or, I had hoped Jacob would have seen, had it been a vampire.

Speaking of Jacob, I shifted my focus to him. He was still peering out of my window and had his fists balled up at his sides. _What was with him?_

"Um, Jake?..You're doing it wrong!" I laughed silently at my upcoming joke.

He turned to face me, his face painted with displeasure. "What am I doing wrong Bella?"

"You're supposed to be peering from the outside-in, not inside-out!" I threw my hand over my mouth in an attempt to stifle an escaped laugh. "You suck at being a peeping tom!"

"Bella!" he roared. He looked towards my bedroom door remembering Charlie and sucked in a deep breath pulling himself together. "I don't have time for games!"

I looked up at him in horror. "I was only kidding around, I was just trying to break the tension. I wasn't trying to make you mad!" I covered my face with my hands and sobbed quietly.

He hastily made his way to my side. "Hey..Bells..I..I'm sorry! Please don't cry, I didn't mean to upset you!" He reached up and pulled my hands into his lap folding them into his. "I'm sorry, I'm just tense from everything that's going on. My mind was focused on what was out there and I guess your humor just caught me off guard. Again, I'm sorry."

I freed my hands from his lap and wiped the tears from my face with the back of my hands. "I'm sorry for kidding around when you were trying to be serious. I'm just so tired of being scared all the time, and it helps when I laugh. Laughing helps smother the fear, so I don't have to feel it."

"Sorry Bella." Jacob reached over and took me into his arms, squeezing me tightly. "You don't have to explain yourself. I just need to watch my temper, I tend to misplace it sometimes."

I scoffed. "You're telling me!"

He chuckled and pulled from the embrace, cupping his hand under my chin. He lifted my face so he could read my eyes. "Can I make this up to you? Please?"

"How do you propose to do that?"

"Let...let me take you out tomorrow." He said hesitantly as he moved his hand to my cheek.

I was a bit confused as to what he meant. "Take me out? You... took me out tonight!"

"Not like that..I mean..out out..like..." He drifted into silence as he moved his hand from my cheek and started absentmindedly playing with my hair, twirling it around his fingers.

"Like on a date?"

He nodded, looking hopeful.

"A date date?"

"Yes Bella, a date date."

"Oh" I bit at my bottom lip in contemplation.

"So... no?"

"No, what?" I didn't know who was more confused now, me or him.

Jacob laughed nervously. "I don't know! You're confusing me Bells!"

"I'm just debating, sorry." I didn't know what to say. Yes I did, I wanted to say no. I wanted to scream _NO!_ at the top of my lungs. The feelings of guilt and betrayal were still tugging at me from earlier. I felt like I was betraying Edward for some reason and I just couldn't shake it My heart just wasn't there with Jacob, I mean I loved him but I wasn't in love with him, not like I was with Edward.

I closed my eyes and imagined Edward's face, that he was the one sitting next to me on my bed at that moment. Then slowly his beautiful image started to fade, until it was shrouded with darkness. My heart began to pound at the loss, I wanted to cry.

Jacob's voice broke into my thoughts. "Are you still with me Bella?"

I opened my eyes and looked around the room as if I had lost something.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I uh...just got lost in thought, Sorry."

"So? Did you decide?" He smiled and cocked his head to the side squinting his eyes at me.

I looked up at him and realized that he was the only one in that room with me. He was the one who was with me right now. The one who had been there for me through all of this and had comforted me when my heart had needed it the most. And sometimes without even asking. I would be crazy to not give him a chance. To give him his date.

"Sure, Jake...I'll go with you on a date tomorrow." I smiled up at him hoping it reached my eyes.

He grinned from ear to ear. I thought he was going to pop from excitement."Yes! It's a date then. I'll call you later on with the details."

"Are you leaving me already?" I didn't want to be left alone tonight. Too much was going on, and I needed Jake here with me.

Jacob frowned. "I honestly hate to leave you Bells but, I really need to go talk to Sam. Let him know what's been going on, he'd be furious if he knew I'd kept this from him"

"You're coming back though, right? Please?" I settled closer to Jacob, so that I was leaning against his arm. He was so warm. He made a little sound of contentment in the back of his throat and rested his cheek on the top of my head.

"I'll come back tonight. I promise. I'll be outside guarding you all night" He kissed the top of my head before standing up.

I looked up at him with curious eyes. "Are you using the window or the door on your way out?"

He chuckled his low throaty laugh. "I'll take my chances and use the window, just make sure you close it behind me." He leaned to kiss my forehead, and then he was gone.

I closed the window and quickly changed into my pajamas before turning out the light. I crawled into bed from exhaustion, pulling the covers up to my chin. I was ready to put today behind me. I had a date to look forward to tomorrow and had no earthly idea what Jacob had planned. I posed different ideas thinking that there wasn't too much he could come up with around this town. Hopefully he would surprise me. At least he was happy that I had said yes. Maybe we could have a _'no strings attached' _date, where I wouldn't have to commit to another one. And, I didn't have to kiss him unless I wanted to of course, though we could hold hands, I wasn't against that. I should clarify my new terms to him tomorrow when he called so he wouldn't get the wrong idea.

Knowing Jacob he would want to get married the day after and have furry babies on the weekend. I didn't want anything serious, and I surely was not going to make any commitments. I had given myself to Edward and we see how that worked out. I refused to deal with heartbreak again, I wasn't going to allow it. Heaven knows it would be years before I'd even want to deal with a man again in that fashion. Maybe in five years I would consider it. Nah, who am I kidding, let's give it ten.

I had begun to doze off into thoughtless oblivion when my cell phone started vibrating. I lazily pulled myself off the bed and removed it from the back pocket of my jeans. I flipped it open,_ 'Incoming Call' _I moaned. "What the hell?" This was starting to get on my nerves. Not to mention these calls came in at the most random of times. I let the phone wear itself out until all was silent again. I jumped back in bed turning my cell phone off and threw it under my pillow. I yanked the covers back up over me, closed my eyes, and kicked around until I found a comfortable spot.

_Buzz Buzz ....Buzz Buzz_ I jumped straight up in bed and looked around half crazed, trying to figure out where that noise was coming from. _Buzz Buzz...Buzz Buzz_ It took a moment for me to collect my thoughts as I realized it was my cell phone going off again. I lifted the pillow up to retrieve it, but it was missing. Confusion set in. I distinctly remembered turning it off and putting it under my pillow.

_Buzz Buzz...Buzz Buzz _I looked around and climbed out of bed following the sound, the vibration leading me to my window sill where I picked it up. _How in the hell did it get there?. _I flipped it open, _'Incoming Call'. _I yelled at the phone. "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??" I heard Charlie's snoring stop abruptly. _Ugh!_ I turned the cell phone back off and peered out of the window.

My body trembled as I attempted to steady myself, fear shooting through me like a frayed live wire. I dropped my face into my hands and sighed hopelessly, there was no doubt in my mind that there would be no going back to sleep for me tonight.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:** Thank you for reading Chapter 4! I really hope you've enjoyed the story so far. Please don't forget to leave me a review, I really appreciate it! :)

**Influence for this Chapter:** Song 'Whatya Want from Me' by Adam Lambert

**Coming Up**... Chapter 5 'Date' Bella and Jacob go on their date! Find out what Jacob has planned for Bella. Will she like it? See if she tells Jacob about the constant phone calls and the mysterious displacement of her phone. Will the mystery be solved?


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:**All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes:** Bella finally goes on her date with Jacob. Will Jacob be creative enough to convince her that they're meant to be?

_"Always, set a high value on spontaneous kindness. He whose inclination prompts him to cultivate your friendship of his own accord, will love you more than one whom you have been at pains to attach to you." ~Samuel Johnston~_

* * *

**CHAPTER 5 ::DATE:::**

I laid face down, stretched out across the top of my bed and moaned unintelligibly into my covers. Lack of sleep was getting to me. I had heard Charlie leave an hour earlier and knew I needed to get up and get ready. Jacob would be calling at any minute, and if I didn't get motivated, he was going to be seriously rethinking his idea of me, as dating material when he showed up.

I finally pried myself from the bed and drug myself to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and brushed my teeth while I waited for the water to heat up. My thoughts started shifting through the plans for the day and I wondered what Jacob had up his sleeves for our date, if I should be worried. The mirror started fogging up and I knew that was my Que. I quickly got undressed and jumped in the shower.

I finished my shower and started drying off. I looked around the bathroom and realized I didn't bring any clothes in with me. I knew Charlie wasn't home so I decided to play it commando and dash for my bedroom. I took a peek out of the bathroom window just for precautionary measures, making sure that Charlie's cruiser was still missing from it's usual spot. All was clear. I hung up my towel on the rack and swung the bathroom door wide open, stepping into the hallway.

"HOLY CRAP!!!! BELLA!!!" Jacob's voice screamed, echoing through the whole house.

I jumped in a frozen panic. My hands automatically shifting to cover myself. "CRAP!!!"

My mind was racing, trying to figure a way to escape Jacob's glare as he stood cemented to the stairway.

"TURN AROUND JACOB!!" I yelled. Slowly side stepping towards my bedroom, my tiny hands trying to keep covered what areas they could manage.

Jacob quickly turned around and I made a mad dash into my bedroom slamming my door.

I fumbled for my clothes throwing them on, as Jacob's apologies played like a broken record outside of my bedroom door. My body was still shaking, recovering from the unpleasant experience that had just occurred. I was extremely embarrassed and I didn't know if I was going to be able to face him.

I finally let Jacob in and moved to sit at the edge of my bed. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared down, pretending to find something fascinating with my feet. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Jacob walked to the foot of my bed, dropping his arms to his sides.

Jacob inhaled deeply, struggling. "Bella...I'm SO SO SO sorry!" he slumped his shoulders and cast his eyes towards the floor in humiliation.

I mumbled. "It's okay, I just didn't expect you to be standing there." blood pooled into my cheeks causing my face to burn. I placed my hands on either side of my face concentrating on the coolness of my palms.

Jacob raised his head but didn't look at me, he focused on my comforter instead. "Sorry, I tried calling but nobody answered, I got worried so I came on over. I thought you were probably asleep when I got here, that's why I was coming up the stairs to check on you."

"I was probably in the shower when you tried calling." I continued staring at my feet as I crossed them at my ankles, lowering my hands to my lap. "But I looked out the bathroom window and didn't see your car. Where did you park it at?"

"I didn't bring my car, I rode the motorcycle over and parked it beside Charlie's boat."

"Oh" I muttered.

Jacob walked over to me and tugged at one of my arms. "Come on now, I don't want this to ruin our day today." He took a worried step back watching me when I didn't respond.

I looked up at him and frowned. "I'm assuming we're going to forget this ever happened." I choked out. It was more of a statement than a question.

Jacob reached over and smoothed my hair. "Yes, I can manage that, now come on." he turned and motioned towards my bedroom door, holding out his hand to me in a gesture of solidarity.

After a moments hesitation, I chose to take his word for it and jumped up grabbing his hand. I threw my hair up in a quick ponytail and headed for the stairs. I stopped to grab my jacket and throw on my shoes, as we made our way out of the house.

Jacob climbed onto his bike first, then gently lifted me onto the back and patiently waited for me to get situated, as I wrapped my tiny arms around his enormous frame. He turned over the ignition and hit the gas, slowly backing us out of the yard, using his feet as leverage. Once on the road, and still at a full stop, he gave the gas a few quick revs and leaned his head back, slightly turning it, looking in my direction.

"Ya know Bells, I can say one thing about our date so far."

For some reason, a feeling of dread ran through my body. "What is it Jake?"

"Seeing you naked was a GREAT start to our first date!" he shot me a devious grin.

"JAKE!!" I buried my face into his back to hide my humiliation. "You said we would forget that ever happened!" I sighed in disbelief.

"Well, what I said was...that I could manage to forget...not that I would!" I felt him turn back around laughing, his body rippling in response and shaking my face in the process. I took a deep breathe in, taking in his warm, musky scent and exhaled slowly as he pulled onto the road.

We arrived at Jacob's house and I dismounted the bike in a hurry to get away from Jacob. Pushing my hands into the seat, I leaned sideways throwing my right leg around the back of the seat and lost my balance. I grasped at thin air as I hit the ground with a thud.

Jacob began laughing at me as he helped me up. "Smooth move ex-lax!" he said, shaking his head.

I scowled and began dusting myself off. "Shut up Jake! It's not funny!"

"Bella, you seriously need to get a grip!...Stop taking everything so personally."

I sighed with displeasure. "I'm not taking everything personally, I'm just tired of you always picking on me."

"Ugh! I pick on you because I love ya, you usually take it better than you have today."

"Well, counting what happened this morning, I have a right not to take it so well."

Jacob rolled his eyes and sauntered over to his Dad's truck. "Let's go, we're taking my Dad's truck today."

I eyed the tan truck suspiciously, the tailgate was down and had a canoe in the back. "Why is that in the truck? Are we going fishing or something?"

Jacob shook his head. "No, we're not going fishing, but it is part of our date. It's going to get us where we need to go. Now let's go, I'd like to get there before Noon." He climbed into the truck and started the engine, slamming his door. I walked around the back of the truck eyeballing the canoe the entire time. I had no clue where we were going, and I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know. I opened my door and jumped in.

"So, where are we going?" I asked defeating my purpose of not wanting to know.

"You'll see when we get there, it's a surprise!" He turned smiling at me, like he'd just won a prize.

I sighed and scooted closer to him, the cab allowing enough room for us to sit next to each other. I glanced over at him, taking him in. I noticed that his hair was getting longer, emerging out of it's once short crop. Little black curls were trying to form from the damp air and his hair was in a mess of clusters, sticking out in every direction. But it was cute, it fit him, it fit his attitude. I had thought about telling him of my new dating terms, but the more I looked at him, the less I wanted any barriers between us. So I quickly decided against it.

Jacob noticed me staring at him and I quickly turned my eyes to the road.

"What?" he asked in amusement.

"What do you mean, what?" I raised my eyebrows in surprise, feigning innocence.

Jacob winked, playfully elbowing me. "I saw you staring at me. You like what you see?"

I laughed. "Maybe... do you like what you see?"

Jacob raised his brow and leaned into me, grinning mischievously. "You really want me to answer that?"

"Never mind then!" I returned my gaze to the road and sat in silence for the rest of the way.

It wasn't but a few more minutes when we finally arrived at our destination. I looked out through the window at what seemed to be a river. "Where are we at?" I asked.

Jacob killed the motor and climbed out of the truck, with me following behind him. "It's the Sol Duc River, isn't she a beauty?"

"It's gorgeous." I stood staring out at the river and then back to Jacob as he unloaded the canoe. I watched as his ripped, shredded muscles extended, and lifted the canoe above his head with no effort. I smiled and followed him to the river bank. He sat the canoe down, half-in half-out the water. I looked around and noticed we were alone, surrounded by dense forest and dirt road. Jacob ran back to the truck, grabbing out a large, brown wicker basket out of the back, and quickly made his way back to me.

"Okay, we're all set. You ready?" he looked to me smiling.

"Yep, as ready as I'll ever be." he grabbed my hand and led me into the canoe. Taking his seat on the opposite side, facing me. The basket was wedged in between us creating an imaginary boundary. I glared at the basket for a brief moment wondering what was in it. The canoe rocking, quickly caught my attention and I grabbed onto the sides in a death grip. Jacob laughed as he pulled out the oars and pushed us out into the water.

As we sat literally gliding through the water, I took in the scenery. The water was dark, but peaceful and smooth, our waves being the only activity, leaving millions of tiny bubbles in our wake. I managed to gain the courage to lean over, and peered into the water, staring at my reflection. I don't know why I was scared to be in the canoe. I had jumped off a cliff only days prior, so this should have been nothing. I was making a mountain out of an anthill and told myself to relax. I continued gazing at my reflection, smiling back at it, watching it mirror my movements. Jacob's voice broke into my thoughts.

"Ya know, if the water makes you that happy, you can always jump in!"

I turned to face him as he sat, arrogantly smirking at me, bringing his rowing to a pause, as if to emphasize that we weren't going to be headed anywhere, anytime soon. I raised my eyebrow up at him and cocked my head to the side audaciously. "And what? Ruin my clothes before we reach our destination?"

He let out his low throaty chuckle. "Why do that when you can take them off?"

I sat in shock at his suggestion. "Uh...no thanks, I prefer to keep them on, besides...I've had enough of water to last me a life time."

"What? Are you scared? It's not like I haven't seen you naked before!" he let out a guffaw that bounced off the water, pitching itself against the trees. I held onto the side of the boat as it rocked back and forth, scowling while I waited for the laughter to stop.

"Jacob! Are you ever going to let that go? You seriously need to give it up!"

"Nope!" he declared. "I won't be giving that image up anytime soon!"

I sat fuming, as we continued our journey. It seemed like an eternity before Jacob pulled up onto the riverbank. Thankfully my side was on the sand, and I had a quick thought about jumping out and shoving the canoe back into the water with him in it. But I didn't, because I realized he was the one with the oars. I climbed out and Jacob shoved the canoe up on the bank, leaving the basket in it's spot. I silently watched him with curious eyes.

He slowly turned to face me. "Sorry Bells, I won't bring it up again, I swear!" He was trying to soothe me now.

"Fine, let's just drop it now." I insisted, hoping he would keep his word.

Jacob sighed in relief as I looked around confused. "So, what are we doing here?"

"Come on, I want to show you something." he took my hand into his and led the way.

We walked side by side up a long sandy path, rocks were jutted out in every direction. A few times I had to move a stray limb out of my way and continued on.

"Okay, this is it." he took his free hand and pointed in front of us.

I focused on the huge rock formation ahead. It was partially hidden behind a thick gathering of trees. "Um, it's nice?" I asked, not sure of what I was looking at.

Jacob laughed realizing my confusion. "Here let me show you." He pulled back a few limbs, ducking and pulling me behind him. "Watch the limbs." We advanced quickly through the underbrush stopping at a wide opening in the rocks.

"What is this?" I asked. "It looks like some sort of cave." I drifted my gaze back to Jacob.

"Well, we call it a cave, but it's actually where rock has worn away from the surface over time_ and_ cut out with help of course. We can go in and check it out if you want."

"Sure!" I said cheerfully.

Jacobs eyes lit up with excitement. "Let's do it!"

We walked into the cave and I stopped when the light didn't reach me anymore. The aroma of rainwater and fresh dirt filled my nose. I reached out touching all the different formations on the rocks, enjoying the feel of the different textures on my fingertips. Some were smooth, others rough. I even found some that were sticky and removed my hand promptly. The dirt floor looked undisturbed and peaceful, a perfect spot to sleep if you were camping here. I turned to Jacob and smiled happily at him, he returned the kind gesture by wrapping his arm around my waste and pulling me into him, holding me close.

"You like it?" he asked.

I nodded. "It's pretty cool here, how did you find this place?"

"It's been with the family for years, the guys use it for camping trips, or just to get away if we need some time to ourselves. The pack meets here sometimes as well...We call it the 'Wolves Den', or as I love to call it..my 'Man Cave'."

I laughed at the mention of his man cave. "Do you come here often?"

"Nah, not really. Only when I need to escape." he shrugged and pulled his arm up from my waist and curled it affectionately around my neck. "Let's get out of here, I'm a growing boy and I need to eat."

Jacob escorted me back to the canoe where he promptly pulled a blanket out of the basket and spread it out over the sand. I situated myself into a comfortable sitting position as he joined me and sat the basket beside him, reaching inside it. Out came two plastic containers that was divided three ways. I opened the lid and discovered, hand-cut steak in one section, mashed potatoes with gravy in another, and green beans in the last. I raised my eyebrows in shock, he'd outdone himself. I would have settled for a ham sandwich, but this was definitely over the top. He handed me a fork and soda to finish off the dish.

"Jacob, you've outdone yourself, I'm impressed!"

"Thanks, I made it myself too!" he smiled with pride.

We finished off our dinner and cleaned up the small mess we had made. I had ended up giving the rest of my food to Jacob when I couldn't eat anymore, and he had been more than happy to devour it. We laid back on the blanket snuggling into one another for warmth, though it wasn't that cold out. It was more for the company and the need to be close to each other that really brought us to that point. We must have laid there for hours, talking about various time consuming topics, and enjoying the peace.

As the sun went down, I curled further into Jacob, resting my head on his chest. He felt so warm and inviting, his heart pounding beneath my ear, inviting me to push closer into him. I felt wanted as he stroked my hair, it somehow made me feel needed as well. He was simply my big teddy bear, I felt safe in his strong and yielding arms. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if I asked him to never let me go, that he would hold me forever.

I turned in Jacobs arms and crawled onto his chest, my arms resting on either side of his face, legs straddling his waist, and ran my fingers through his hair. He looked up at me in shock, yet he didn't say a word. We sat locked in that position for a short moment, before he realized that I was giving him permission to give us what we both wanted.

He reached up and tenderly wrapped his hands into my hair, pulling me gently to his lips. Our lips entwined in a graceful and passionate collision. There was nothing rough or hurried about our embrace. It was something we both wanted and we were taking our time. Enjoying every moment, savoring each others taste, letting it linger on our lips. There was no spinning sensations, no dizzy spells, no fireworks to speak of. Just the pure satisfaction of the ability to share this moment with each other.

I was the first to release our lips from their tender embrace. Jacob watched me through his dark, yearning eyes, and confusion flashed across his face as I took everything in. I rolled off of him and onto my back, letting out a relaxing and contented sigh. I couldn't believe that I had just initiated that kiss. I was quite impressed and rewarded myself with a smile. I silently prayed that I wouldn't regret this later and I quickly shoved that thought to the back of my mind.

Jacob rolled over on his side facing me, propping himself up on his elbow and letting his head rest in his hand. He never said a word about our kiss, he just sat silently staring at me. Oh, what I would have given to have been able to read his mind at that moment.

Jacob finally spoke, pointing up toward the stars. "You know, we're meant to be." He continued to gaze into the sky, without ever turning his head to look at me.

"What?" was all I could manage. I wondered where he was going with this.

He smirked and pointed up at the sky again. "We're meant to be... it's in the stars."

I posed his words back to him. "We're meant to be because it's in the stars? Jacob...have you lost your mind?" I laughed and shook my head. "That's about the cheesiest line I have ever heard!"

Jacob laughed and interlaced his fingers as he placed his hands behind his head for support. "It's not a cheesy line Bella, I'm actually telling you the truth!" He turned his head to meet my gaze. "You and I are honestly in the stars, it's not hard to believe when it's right there in front of you."

I turned my head and looked up, quietly observing the night sky. I was trying to see if I could trace anything out of the stars that remotely resembled us. "I don't see anything that looks like us up there." I paused, still searching. "So...are we floating around up there somewhere and I just don't see it?"

Jacob leaned his head into his left forearm, his eyes begging for mine. "Well...actually, our names exist in the stars, but not as you or I would automatically assume. It's not our first names, but we're there."

"How so?" I shifted to meet his eyes, raising an eyebrow. "Please explain this to me oh wise one!" I shot him a playful smirk and waited patiently for his explanation.

He turned his head, admiring the sky, his chin lifting up as if he were pointing with it."Okay, do you see that star over to the North?"

I looked up and studied the stars for a moment, shaking my head. "Uh..No"

Jacob rolled over and pulled me into his arms, snuggling my body. He knitted his fingers through mine, so that our hands were now one. He place his index finger on top of mine and raised our hands, pointing towards the sky. "See, that bright yellow star right there? The one that's sitting a little bit above that smaller blue star?"

"Oh yeah! I see it now!"

"Okay, that's the _head_ of the constellation, now follow the blue star down, down, now over to our left..." He made a _'J'_ formation with our fingers. "Right there! That's the bottom of the star constellation, also know as the_ tail_."

"What do you mean, head and tail?"

"It's the constellation Cygnus, which is Latin for Swan, so see you really are up there!"

"Oh, that's too cool! How do you know all this?"

"Well, we had studied the stars once in school for Science and I just kept it up, reading whatever I could on the subject."

"So, do you have a star?"

"Yep, why do you think I said that _we're_ in the stars?"

"Can you show me?"

"Of course." He moved our hands back to the sky. "Now, move further over and you can barely make it out. It's that mass of about thirty tiny stars that's narrowly squeezed in between Centaurus and Scorpius."

I laughed. "Like I know what those are."

He continued. "It's the constellation Lupus, which is Latin for Wolf, which means I'm up there too!" He flashed a big smile. "So see, we _are_ both up there!"

I sighed, soaking it all in. "So...the Wolf and the Swan."

"Yep, the Lion and the Lamb."

I tensed up at the mention of his words, remembering where I had last heard that saying.

"That's not really a good pair." I scowled.

He raised his brow at my statement.

I quickly let it go. "How do these constellations get their names?" I asked.

"Well, our constellations were two out of forty eight that were listed by the second century astronomer Ptolemy."

"Wow, that's cool." I chimed. "We were named by the same person!"

"It seems so. There's also some interesting myths behind them as well. I'll have to tell you about them one day."

"No! Tell me now, I'd love to hear it!" I begged.

"Well, one myth is that Lupus, also known as the wolf, came to be by the hands of Zeus. The story says that Lycaon, king of the Arcadians, had doubted Zeus' claim to divinity. So he gave Zeus a test by serving him with the flesh of the god's own son. He was immediately punished by being turned into a wolf. So now, the wolf remains impaled on a spear at the alter of Centaurus."

"So who is this Centaurus?"

"He was an immortal centaur named Chiron, that traded his immortality so that another might live. Zeus made the exchange and placed him among the stars." Jacob shrugged, seeming hopeful that I was still with him.

"That's amazing, I'm impressed at how much you know about this stuff!"

Jacob beamed with delight. "Yeah, I told you it's interesting...Would you like to hear more?"

I nodded. "I'd love to!"

"Well, there's a story about the Swan, who was considered to be a very graceful bird, and the myths have it as being identified with several different legendary swans."

"Such as?" I asked, curious.

"I'm getting there." he laughed. "Well, the only one I really know about is of Zeus and Lena."

"I'm sort of familiar with Zeus, but what happens to them?"

"Well, legend has it that, Zeus had disguised himself as a swan to seduce a lover named Lena that was immortal. She was torn between him and her husband and finally had to make a decision. As a result, Lena thought he was too fragile, not knowing he was a god, she left him and went away with her husband. The Swan was stricken with horrible sorrow and became so enraged he cursed her to suffer his own sorrow for eternity, unless that is, she decided to come back to him."

"So did she come back to him?" I had to know the answer.

"Yeah, she did. But it was at a price."

"What price was that?"

"She had to take the Swan's life to keep his love for eternity."

"What? That's crazy! So, she killed the Swan, just to keep his love? That doesn't make any sense!"

Jacob sighed and explained. "But it does make sense Bella, she didn't know he was a god, so when she killed him, he came back as a man, as Zeus, and they remained lovers for eternity. It was his way of finding out if she truly loved him or not. Her love for the Swan had to be greater than her love for his life. If it wasn't, she wouldn't have done it."

"I guess that does make sense in a way, but, that had to suck her killing him, I couldn't even imagine having to do something like that." I shuddered at the thought.

"Yeah, well, it's just a legend, a myth." Jacob sat up stretching. "You ready to head home?"

"Sure, but how are we going down the river in the dark?" I asked, worried.

Jacob jumped up and pulled lights out of a box under the seat in the canoe. "These!" he held them up and fastened them to the sides. "Battery operated! Works like a charm every time!" We gathered everything up and climbed in. Jacob pushed us off with a quick shove and we were on our way.

A while later we pulled up into Jacob's driveway, dropping off the canoe before taking me home. We noticed Billy was sitting in the driveway with an urgent look on his face. We quickly climbed out of the truck and ran to him.

"Dad what's wrong?" Jacob asked frantically.

Billy frowned, looking over at me then back to Jacob. "Bella needs to call Charlie, something's wrong."

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:** Thank you for reading Chapter 5! I really hope you've enjoyed readying about Bella and Jacob's date as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please don't forget to leave me a review, I really appreciate it! :)

**Influence for this Chapter:** Song 'So Beautiful' by Darren Hayes

**Coming Up**... Chapter 6 'Need' Will Bella's need for answers to the mysterious events surrounding her come to light or will they remain unsolved and become even more frightening?


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:**All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes:** Will Bella's need for answers to the mysterious events surrounding her come to light or will they remain unsolved and become even more frightening? How much more can she endure?

_ "As a matter of self-preservation, a man needs good friends or ardent enemies, for the former instruct him and the latter take him to task." ~Diogenes~_

* * *

**CHAPTER 6 :::NEED:::**

I quickly dropped my hand to my back pocket as I remembered my cell phone. I pulled it out and flipped it open, checking to see if Charlie had tried calling me. I had zero missed calls and no signal. I remembered checking it several times while out with Jacob, and it didn't have one then as well.

"I don't have a signal, can I use your house phone?" I asked, looking to Billy.

He nodded. "Sure, go ahead."

"Thanks" I went running into the house, leaving Jacob behind.

I picked up the receiver and quickly dialed Charlie's number.

"Hello?" Charlie's voice came across the line.

"Hey Dad, Billy said that you'd been trying to get in touch with me? Is everything okay?"

Charlie sighed in relief. "Bells, thank goodness, I've been trying to call you all afternoon!"

"I'm sorry Dad, my cell didn't have a signal out where Jacob and I were."

"I figured as much, that's why I called Billy and had him give you the message."

I asked again, not having my questions answered. "So what's going on Dad?"

"I need you to stay at Billy's until I get off work, we had a murder just outside of Forks tonight and I need to stay here at the station. I don't want you going home alone."

I stuttered in shock. "Uh..uh..of course, no problem. I'll stay here."

"Alright, I'll come by and pick you up on my way home. Tell Billy I said thanks."

"I will, I'll tell him." I said reassuringly, and hung up the phone.

"Tell him what?" Jacob's voice bellowed out, scaring me, causing me to jump and spin around.

"Jacob!" I gasped, trying to calm myself. "You scared me!"

He stood, staring at me studying my expression. "Sorry Bells, I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay, I was just telling Charlie that I'd tell Billy thanks for him." I explained.

He chuckled. "You don't need to thank us for using the phone."

I shifted my feet uncomfortably and slid my hands into my back pockets. "No...um...he wanted me to thank Billy for letting me stay here tonight."

"You're staying here tonight? Why?" he said suspiciously.

The tone of his voice made me feel like he didn't want me to stay. "Look..I'll..uh..stay out of your way okay?"

"What?" Jacob said, his eyebrows pulling down in confusion. "What on earth are you talking about? You're never in my way Bella, what would make you think that? He went on, "Just tell me what's going on, okay?"

I nodded in compliance. "Charlie wants me to stay here because there's been a murder just outside of Forks, and he doesn't want me going home alone. He'll pick me up on his way, whenever that is."

Thoughts of all the mysterious, recent events, hit me like a tidal wave. I'd managed to contain most of it and not bring it up while on our date. But it was hitting me full force as I pictured Victoria murdering some innocent person, all because of me. I knew this murder had to be tied to her somehow. Something like this didn't happen around Forks. I started to cry, my body shuddering, and I slumped against the wall behind me.

Jacob stepped towards me and took me into his arms, holding me tightly. His left hand cradled on the back of my head, holding me against his chest, and his right on the low of my back. He nestled his cheek next to mine, his warm breath drifting down my neck. "Bella" he whispered into my ear. "It's okay." He continued to comfort me.

I had to tell him what I was thinking, what was going on. I pulled away from him so that I could see his face, furrowing my eyebrows in anxiety. "What if it's Victoria? What if it's her killing people?" My body trembled and Jacob tried to pull me back into him, and I pulled away, refusing. I wanted an answer to my question, not to be soothed into silence. I crossed my arms against my chest, waiting for an answer.

Jacob sighed and gave in. "We don't know that for sure." he said with uncertainty. "But I'll talk to Sam though and see if the pack has found anything."

"Did you tell him about my open window and the unfamiliar scents?"

Jacob nodded, confirming my question.

The creak of the screen door opening startled both of us, and we turned to watch as Billy entered the house. He looked up at us both and shook his head, laughing "You two, I swear" He went to the fridge and retrieved a beer, spinning around and leaving as quickly as he had entered.

I looked up at Jacob in confusion, wiping my eyes. "What was that about?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "There is no telling with that man" He laughed and walked into the living, room, falling onto the couch with a thud. He patted the seat beside him. "Come sit, I know you want to talk."

I was suddenly amazed at how well he could read me. There was only one person that knew me better than my own self, and he wasn't here. He would never be here again, and I should try to accept that.

I finally broke out of the daze I had found myself in, and made my way to the couch sitting beside Jacob.

I hesitated. "Jake... about the open window thing."

"What about it? Was it open again?"

I shook my head. "No, it's something related to it. It's about my phone."

"What about your phone?" he questioned.

I began explaining to him the situation with my phone calls. I told him about the calls that were coming in on both my cell and house phone, that someone was blocking their number. I went on to tell him about last night's episode, and how I found my phone in the window. I also explained how these phone calls seemed to only occur when I was alone.

Jacob let a low growl escape from his throat. "I'm going to fix this!"

I frowned in confusion. "How are you going to do that? We don't even know what's going on!"

"Don't worry Bella, I'll do what I have to do to put a stop to it!" he snapped.

I jerked back in response. "Jacob! You can't stop something that's invisible! What are you going to do? Throw away my phones and screw my windows shut?"

He scowled. "There's no need for that, I'll take care of it."

I shook my head in disbelief. "You're seriously freaking me out!"

Jacob relaxed immediately upon hearing my words. "Sorry Bells, I just hate the fact that you're being messed with."

He leaned into me wrapping his strong arm around my neck, pulling me next to him. I sunk myself into him, resting my head against his neck, relaxing. I muttered. "Are you coming over to visit me tomorrow?"

"Sure, if you want me to."

"Of course I do. Will you be there in the morning?"

"Yep" was all his tired voice could seem to manage.

He turned on the TV and eventually settled on a movie about a talking dog and cat.

I must have dozed off during the movie, because the next thing I remember was two strong arms carrying me to Charlie's car. I had heard a familiar voice saying it was after three in the morning, as the ignition was turned. I didn't even remember crawling into my own bed.

* * *

I sat at the kitchen table dozing over my cereal bowl. My left hand was cradling the side of my face, with my pinky finger pushing up my eyebrow in an attempt to keep my eye open. So far, it wasn't working. The weight of my head pushing into my hand, was causing my elbow to dig into the hard surface of the table. It felt like my head weighed a ton, but I wasn't in the mood to move it.

My right hand was absentmindedly moving my spoon back and forth in my cereal, causing tiny little waves. I watched silently, waiting, as if my lumps of cereal were going to somehow find its way to my mouth and sacrifice itself to the greater good of my stomach.

I scooped up a spoonful of shredded wheat onto my spoon, lifting it slightly up and out of the pool of milk. The wheat slowly oozed off of it's metal diving board and plopped back into the milk with a splash, causing milk to splatter out of the bowl into various directions onto the table. I sat staring at the tiny splatters when a familiar voice caught my attention.

"Um...Bella?"

I looked up, blinking my eyes rapidly trying to focus on the form in front of me.

"Morning Dad."

Charlie was sitting across from me at the table, his eyebrows raised in question as he examined my face. His hands were snuggled around his coffee mug holding it up in front of him, elbows planted firmly on the table.

"What do you mean, 'morning Dad'?...Bella, you've already wished me a good morning, when you came downstairs earlier." He looked over at the clock on the wall and then back to me. "And that was an hour ago."

I sat back in my chair rubbing my forehead. "Sorry Dad, I just got lost in thought there for a minute."

"A minute?" he said incredulously. "Young Lady, you've been sitting there for an hour! I've been watching you hover over your bowl this whole time, half expecting you to fall face first into it!"

"I'm sorry! My mind just got away from me! I'm just tired, okay?"

"Why are you so tired? Did you get _any_ sleep at all last night? I know we got in late."

I shook my head listlessly and folded my arms onto the table, letting my head rest on my forearms face down. "No, I just haven't been sleeping much... period." I spoke down into the table, my morning breath bouncing off the table and attacking my nostrils. I pulled my head up quickly, then stood up pushing my chair underneath the table.

"I need to go brush my teeth." I picked up my bowl and took it to the sink. "I'm seeing Jacob today so I need to get a shower and get ready."

Charlie let out a loud sigh, shaking his head. It was his way of telling me he was displeased. "Bells, why haven't you been sleeping? Are you having those bad dreams again?"

I sat the bowl in the sink and pretended to stare out the window at something. I was trying to look distracted so I didn't have to look Charlie in the eyes.

"No, I haven't had a bad dream in about two weeks now." I sighed and turned around to face him.

"I'm fine Dad, really. It's just one of those things." I flashed a promising smile and made my way to the stairs.

Charlie stood up and placed his hand on my shoulder, stopping me from my flight. He studied me for a moment before he spoke. "Bells, if you need someone to talk to...I'm...I'm here for you. You know that right?" His voice was filled with concern.

What was I supposed to say? _'By the way Dad, I keep finding my window open and I'm getting strange phone calls, and oh yeah, my cell phone prefers to perch in my window sill, but it's all good, because I think it's just that pesty 'ol vampire Victoria harassing me!'_

I shook my head and quickly came back to our conversation. "Yeah, I know." I paused, choosing my words carefully, not wanting to hurt his feelings. "Thanks Dad, I appreciate it, but really...I'm okay." I managed to produce a sincere smile.

He patted my arm and turned towards the door. "Alright, well...I'm off to work. Try to take it easy today, you need to get some rest, and please be careful if you go out today Bella."

I nodded in agreement as he slid on his jacket and walked out of the house.

I was determined to get a few hours sleep. I made a quick call to Jacob, letting him know that I was going to try and get some sleep, and to come on in if I didn't answer. I turned to climb the stairs and as soon i put my foot on the first step, the house phone rang out. I instantly pivoted on my foot. I staggered over to it and checked the caller id, the word _'Private'_ flashing out at me. I mumbled. "Not again." Without thinking, I picked up the receiver and slammed it back into it's cradle, hanging up on the caller.

I crossed my arms across my chest and began to pace the kitchen floor. I had to get to the bottom of this, it was getting ridiculous. This annoying caller obviously knew when I was home alone, which meant, they had to be somewhere close, watching me.

The floor squeaking above me, froze me in my tracks. I looked up to the ceiling focusing on a random spot. I held my breath while quietly listening, as my heartbeat quickened, thumping in my ears. I crept over to the stairway and leaned against the frame of the opening, trying to get a view of my bedroom door. I thought about running outside to inspect the window, but knew it would be fruitless, I wouldn't find anything. This thing moved too fast, so I would never see it.

The sound of my cell phone ringing out caused my head to snap to attention. I moved to the bottom step as I kept my eyes focused towards my bedroom, listening intently for another squeak in the floor. The ringing of my cell phone came to a halt and the stillness took over once again. I shivered as I made my way to the bottom step, I advanced up onto it, coming to a stop. I didn't know what I was waiting for, or why I was crazy enough to be moving towards my bedroom.

Just then, my cell phone rang out again, piercing the silence. I took a quick look down at my feet and willed them to move. I vaulted up the stairs, skipping two at a time and slammed into my bedroom door with a force, opening it. I looked on my night stand for my cell phone, and to no surprise, it wasn't there. I followed the sound as I had two nights before to my window sill. I froze. My window was open again. I ran to the window and picked up my phone, flipping it open._ 'Incoming Call'. _I glared out the window in desperation, hoping to find anything, something, I needed an answer to all of this. I didn't care if I had to look Victoria square in the face, it would be better than _not_ knowing. I looked down to my cell phone, still ringing in my hand. I pressed the off button, cutting it off mid-ring.

The purr of Jacob's bike brought my attention to the driveway. I watched as he pulled in and climbed off of his bike. He looked up at my window as he made his way to my front door and noticed me leaning out.

"What are you doing in the window? I thought you were going to sleep?" he shot a worried look.

I continued to lean out the window without saying a word. I just shook my head and held up my cell phone, pointing to my side at the window.

"Bella?" Jacob tilted his head half puzzled in thought, before realizing what I meant. He made a mad dash for the front door, flying through the house and up to my bedroom. I turned to face him as he made his way towards me. He suddenly stopped in the center of the room. He tilted his nose up to the air, sniffing his surroundings, and grimaced in disgust.

"What is it?" I asked, not knowing why I even bothered. I knew what that look on his face meant. "Is it...is it vampire you smell?"

Jacob nodded. He stood staring at me, his face morphing into several different emotions at once, finally settling on anguish. Anguish? I was confused, what would cause him to look so upset? I didn't know what to do, if I should go to comfort him or let him figure it out himself. I knew how he struggled with his darker emotions. I'd seen it before when I had confronted Paul, and that was enough for me. It was enough to keep me at bay and watch him from a safe distance.

I raised my eyebrows in concern. "Jake, why are you so upset? What's bothering you?"

"I..uh..I," he sputtered. "I don't know, I guess I'm just afraid of loosing you Bella." he looked up at me with a saddened expression and I could have sworn, his eyes looked like they were beginning to tear up.

"Afraid of loosing me?" I said incredulously. "I'm not going anywhere Jacob, I'm not going to let Victoria win! I don't care if I have to move to another country! " I sighed. "Jacob, please don't be ridiculous."

Jacob shifted his stance and moved hesitantly towards me. He reached out placing both his hands on my shoulders as I stepped into him wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. I felt as he moved his hand up, entwining his fingers into my hair. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head, breathing me in deeply, then exhaled slowly.

"Jake, I need you to stay with me, please don't go running off just because you think something bad could happen to me." I whispered.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'll stay as long as you need me to" he reassured me.

"I didn't mean it like that, I meant --"

Jacob interrupted me. "I know what you meant Bella."

He pulled me away from him, taking my hands into his and looked me over, studying my face. He frowned. "You look really tired."

"I'm exhausted." I added.

He reached up and smoothed my hair. "Did you get any sleep?"

I shook my head.

"Have you eaten?"

"I tried." I said faintly.

Jacob looked around the room as if he were searching for something. His eyes never quite making contact with anything.

He turned back to look at me. "How about I make you something to eat? he offered.

"No, I don't really have an appetite. I'm actually too tired to eat if you can believe that."

He nodded. "I can understand that. Do you want to lay down and see if you can sleep?"

I looked towards the bed, it looked so inviting. "I guess I could try, since you're here."

Jacob practically carried me to the bed and watched as I laid down, getting comfortable. He crawled up behind me, pulling me close to his warm body, spooning me. He wrapped his long-strong arms around mine, scooping my hands into his and folded them across my chest. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

The house phone ringing jolted me from my short slumber. The bed shifted under Jacob's weight as he abruptly pulled away from me and climbed out of bed. He was out the door and down the stairs, answering the phone before I could open my eyes. Why was he answering my phone? I came to the assumption that it must have been the private caller again and he was finding out who it was, or what they wanted. Hopefully he'd put a stop to it like he said he would.

I heard an occasional 'uh-huh' and 'okay' that was muted, but still carried Jacob's echo up the stairway. I looked over to my door, that he'd left open, straining to hear his conversation. I heard the phone being set on the cradle, then the sound of the steps giving way to pressure as Jacob tip toed up the stairs.

Jacob walked into my room and looked around, settling his gaze on mine. "Did I wake you?"

I stretched my body out, interlacing my fingers together above my head and yawned. "No, the phone did."

"Oh, sorry." he muttered "That was Sam calling, I didn't mean for my phone call to wake you up."

"Sam?" I quizzed.

"Yeah, he knew I was here, he called to let me know that he's gathering the pack together for an urgent meeting."

"Urgent meeting? For what?"

Jacob wrung his hands together and sighed dropping them, making his way to my side. I sat up sensing the tension and pulled myself further into the covers, unconsciously biting at my lower lip.

Jacob hesitated. "Sam said that uh...that...Paul caught the scent of Victoria here in Forks and chased her all the way to the treaty line."

"Victoria? In Forks?" I said incredulously "All the way to the treaty line?"

Jacob nodded in affirmation. "He wants us to figure out a way to trap her, she's smart and keeps getting away from us."

"What happened? I said, disregarding his last statement. "Why didn't he keep chasing her - why did he stop there?" I asked frantically.

"He can't cross the treaty line Bella, you know this." Jacob rubbed his hands up his forehead and through his hair, his face buried in distress.

A state of panic began to course through my body, I reached out locking my fingers around Jacob's muscular arm in a tight grip. "Bu...but.." I sputtered. "It doesn't count if the Cullens aren't here, right?"

"There's always complications... It, doesn't matter." he said, glancing down at my clenched fingers. He raised an eyebrow in slight amusement then back to focus on me, reading my expression.

I spoke, my voice gaining an octave. "You're right, it doesn't matter! Chase her anyway!!"

"Bella, calm down...please!" Jacob said, dropping his voice to a soothing tone. He gently took my hands, wrapping them into his in attempt to comfort me. "We can't chase her across the treaty line... Sam's orders."

"That doesn't make sense! Why would Sam do that?" I spat.

Jacob sighed. "Because Sam does what he thinks is best for our protection."

"Your protection? From what?"

"Bella, I don't have time to go into details... I have to leave for the meeting, Sam's waiting on me." he said, absentmindedly rubbing circles on my hands with his thumbs.

"Fine." I snapped. "Leave me here all alone... I've always wanted to be _'Vampire Chow'_." I added sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

Jacob shook his head, flustered. "Victoria isn't going to come attack you while I'm gone." He glanced over at the window, then back to me. "I'll have someone here watching you."

"And who might that be if the pack is having a meeting? I asked.

"Bells, you worry too much. I already spoke to Sam about it, you won't be all alone... I promise."

"Alright Jake, If you say so." I cast my eyes towards my lap in defeat.

"Hey, Listen to me." he said, reaching up and tenderly cupping my cheeks in his warm hands. He raised my face up to meet his gaze. "I would never let anything happen to you...You know this."

"I know" I said weakly. "I trust you." And I really did. I knew Jacob would never let any harm come to me, even if it meant putting his own life at risk, and that's what scared me. I knew Victoria was coming for me and I was defenseless, and that at some point, Jacob would be out there challenging her. My only way of surviving this, was to let Jacob and his pack figure out a way to trap her and rid us of her existence.

I had no choice but to trust them, my life literally rested in their hands.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:** As always, thank you for reading!! Please leave me a review, I'd love to know what you think!

**Influence for this Chapter:** Song 'Cry' by James Blunt

**Coming Up**... Chapter 7 'Regret' Will Bella come to regret her relationship with Jacob... as he pursues her further and breaks his promise?


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes:** Will Bella come to regret her relationship with Jacob... as he pursues her further and breaks his promise?

_You called me strong, you called me weak  
But your secrets I will keep_

_You took for granted all the times I  
Never let you down_

_You stumbled in and bumped your head, if  
Not for me then you would be dead_

_I picked you up and put you back  
On solid ground_

_If I go crazy then will you still  
Call me Superman_

_If I'm alive and well will you be  
There holding my hand_

_I'll keep you by my side with my  
Superhuman might_

_Kryptonite_

_lyrics from the song 'Kryptonite' by ~3 Doors Down~_

* * *

**Chapter 7 :::REGRET:::**

I sat silently in my rocking chair, lost in deep thought. Jacob was off at his meeting and I was left to my own devices. The silence was deafening...I didn't particularly like the quiet as much these days. Even the smallest of sounds would startle me, and I was tired of being scared. I felt like a fugitive sometimes, always on the run from what could be my ultimate end. There were three things that stayed consistent in my life. It was the fact that everything was always out of my control, beyond reach or just simply missing. I couldn't control Edward leaving me, or Victoria coming after me, I didn't even have the ability to keep Jacob from risking his life for me. The only power I had was to sit back and watch everything unfold, to let it happen. All these things, were somehow either directly, or indirectly related to the other.

I ran my hands slowly down the length of the arms on the chair, and back again. The cool wood slightly rough under my fingertips. I looked down at the pattern worn into the wood. It was obvious that someone had spent long periods sitting in this chair, running their fingers as I had just done. I smiled, thinking back to when Edward would do this. I never understood if it was a nervous tick, or if he was just absentmindedly doing it. My smile faded when I realized that I would never be able to ask why. There were a lot of questions that were going to remain unanswered. My heart became heavy as I traced the worn lines in the wood with the tip of my index fingers.

I sighed heavily, pulling my legs into the seat of the chair and wrapped my arms tightly around my knees. I let my chin rest on my shoulder and closed my eyes, pushing back the tears.

I listened as Charlie's car sputtered into the driveway. The tires crunching at the gravel as it rolled to a stop. It hadn't even been a minute later and the front door was opening. I could hear his boots thumping through the house as he searched for something.

"Bella? You up there?" Charlie's voice called up from the bottom of the stairway.

I turned my head yelling at the door. "Yes! I'm here!" Then quietly added, "Physically, but not mentally!"

"What??" he called back.

"Nothing Dad, nothing!" I rolled my eyes and silently chuckled to myself.

I glanced over at my clock and laid my head back on my shoulder. Jacob had been gone for three hours and I wondered what was taking him so long. His meeting couldn't possibly still be going on. I couldn't see the pack discussing Victoria this long, there had to be something else happening. I tried to figure out who he had watching my house for him, I wouldn't think that Sam would let one of the pack members be kept out of the meeting. But, I was still new to this werewolf thing, so I was probably missing some vital detail. Jacob had promised to fill me in on the details of it later, so I'd wait until then to have my question explained.

A sharp, high pitched tapping sound broke into my thoughts. I pulled my head up and looked around, stopping at the window. Then, I heard it again. _Tap._ I steadied my breath as I realized it _was_ coming from the window. I sat fixed to my chair not knowing what to do. I was scared to look out the window for fear of whatever it was, coming in my home. Charlie was home, and I didn't want anything to happen to him. _Tap, Tap_. I held my breath as I eased my legs down, setting my feet onto the floor. _Tap_. I lifted myself up slowly out of the chair, being careful to make no sound, and made my way over to the window. _Tap, Tap_. I crept ever so lightly to the wall beside the window and leaned up against it. _Tap, Tap._ I took a deep breath and slid against the wall to the edge of the window and peered out into the dark through the curtains.

"Jacob!" I whispered to myself. It was Jacob standing below my window throwing what seemed to be gravel at it. I raised the window and leaned out. "Jacob!" my voice barely above a whisper. I didn't want to bring any attention to ourselves and have Charlie going off, asking questions. "What are you doing?" I asked.

Jacob leaned his head back further looking at me. "Are you going to let me in or what?"

"Come on!" I said. "But be quiet!"

He nodded and was up and through the window in an instant. I reached up and threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "Oh Jacob!" I said, relieved.

Jacob pulled my arms from around his neck, sliding his hands into mine. He moved away from me and studied my expression. "What's got into you?"

"Jake, you scared me to death!" I choked. "I didn't know _who_ that was at my window!"

"Oh" he mumbled.

"What took you so long?" I said, as I pulled him to the bed and sat down.

He followed and moved closer to my side. "Sam is what took so long." he said curtly.

"I take it you aren't happy with Sam?" I asked.

"That's not it... but I don't want to talk about it either." he snapped.

"Did he figure out what to do about Victoria?"

Jacob sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"So are you going to tell me?"

"No, we'll talk about it later." he spat.

"Later?" I raised a brow in confusion. "Um... okay?" I wasn't liking his attitude. But I figured something with Sam must have set him off, and knowing that he would most probably be here all night, I would bring it up again later on. So I let it go.

Jacob turned to me to say something, then quickly stopped himself. He leaned over and planted his elbows on his knees, resting his forehead in his hands. He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

I was starting to get highly concerned. Something had to be really wrong for Jacob to act like this. The last time I'd ever seen Jacob like this was when he couldn't tell me he was a werewolf. When Sam had told him he had to stay away from me. Then it hit me. Maybe that's what happened. Maybe Sam didn't want to get involved with my issue with Victoria. Or maybe, Sam wanted Jacob to stay away from me. This made sense, and it could be why Jacob took so long getting back. He could have stayed longer because he was fighting for me. I started to panic, thoughts flooding my mind.

"Jacob, what's wrong?... Please tell me!" I tried to soften my voice, hoping he wouldn't notice my anxiety.

He just shook his head.

"Jacob....Please." I begged, trying again.

Jacob sat back up and faced me. He took my hands into his and pulled them up to his chest, concentrating on them. "Can I ask you a question?" he said, raising his eyes to meet mine.

"Sure, anything." I said softly.

Jacob dropped our hands into his lap and hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right words. I was starting to become scared. Something wasn't right and my stomach turned.

"Bella... I want... I mean, I would like... to know if you wanted to further our relationship?"

I wasn't expecting _that_ to come out of his mouth. I was a bit shocked, this couldn't have been what was bothering him. Why look so upset when he wanted that? Maybe there was more to it so I pressed on. He was still watching me, waiting patiently for me to answer.

"What do you mean...'further'?" I asked.

"I mean, take our relationship a step further, let's go beyond what we have now."

_'Further' _and _'beyond'_. I wasn't capable of using these words, at least not in relation to the word_ 'relationship'_, and especially not right now, I couldn't do this with Jacob. I hadn't healed from Edward yet, my heart was still grieving for him.

I lowered my eyes to my lap, ridden with guilt. I was about to hurt Jacob, and it was going to kill me. "Um... I... I don't know what to say." I was holding off as long as possible.

"Say that you do Bella, Tell me that you want me too." he said, his eyes pleading. "Let's make this official, tell me that you'll be mine."

"You mean like boyfriend and girlfriend? An item?"

He nodded.

This was going to be harder than I thought. "I do want you Jacob... but..."

Jacob's eyes lowered to my hands at my last word, sensing rejection. "But, what?" he asked softly.

"I'm just..." I searched for the right words, kind words. "I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment right now." I began. "I can't give what I don't have... I can't do this."

"Yes you can Bella, all you have to do is say that you want me too, I know you do!"

"Please don't do this." I begged

Jacob met my gaze, his eyes hardening, his face shrouded in tension. "Why can't I do this? What's stopping you from giving us a chance?"

"What do you mean give us a chance? I've always given us a chance Jacob!"

"But it's not like it should be Bella, like _we_ should be!"

I shook my head in complete confusion. "Why are you pushing for us to be a couple all of a sudden Jacob? Didn't you tell me once that I could take all the time I needed? Why the rush?"

Jacob was acting strange. This wasn't like him. Something was causing him to act like this, and I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"Is this about Sam? Did he order you to stay away from me again? Is that what it is?" I asked, searching for an answer.

"What?" Jacob squealed, then looked to the door remembering Charlie and lowered his voice. "No! This is not about Sam, this has nothing to do with him at all, but this does have everything to do with us!."

"But it can't be just about us." I said. "Tell me what's really going on Jacob!"

Jacob stood up and walked across the room, he hesitated a second and then whispered. "I can't."

"What? You can tell me anything..I thought we kept no secrets."

Jacob walked back over to me and knelt down beside me, placing his hands on either side of my legs. "Please..." He looked up at me, his face worn from whatever it was tormenting him. "Please...Bella."

"I don't understand why you're doing this." I said softly.

"Because I love you Bella, I need you. I need you to love me and I always want you by my side, no matter what."

I took Jacob's face into my hands and leaned into him, "I do love you and I'll always will, you're my best friend. I just think you're overreacting, over-thinking everything." Jacob _was_ my best friend and I had no plans to abandon him. This sudden onslaught of desperation was scaring me.

"But I want more than that..I.." he trailed off. He fidgeted with the comforter beside me in thought. Suddenly, he rocked back on his heels and stood up, glaring down at me. "This is because of _him_ isn't it? It's because you still love _him_!"

"Wh...What?" I sputtered, shaking my head in shock. I couldn't believe he'd just asked me that.

"You still love him don't you?" he spat, as he walked over to the window.

I blinked rapidly, trying to pull my thoughts together. "Are you talking about Ed... Edward?" I could barely say his name out loud, it still hurt so bad.

"Yes Bella! I'm talking about your leech!" he said viciously. "The one that loved you so much, he left you to rot alone in the woods!"

I pulled myself off the bed in a fury and stomped my way over to Jacob. I pointed my index finger in his face, waving it as I spoke my words through clenched teeth. "Don't you ever! And I mean ever! Say that to me again Jacob Black...You have no right!" I dropped my hand to my side, my chest heaving with emotion.

"I have no right?" he snapped.

"No!" I snapped back.

"Are you serious Bella? You think I have no right to say that? When I was the one who picked up his pieces and put you back together?... Yet I have no freaking right?"

I winced at his words. How true they were. Yet I wasn't going to stand here and have my heart drug through the mud. Jacob had known what he was getting himself into. He knew how hurt I was...still am. He had agreed to take our time, to let me heal from my wounds. And now he was rubbing salt in them, he should have just set me on fire, it's how his words made me feel. I stepped away from Jacob, creating some space between us. I couldn't believe we had just spoken to each other that way, I was hurting...he was hurting. And I didn't want to fight anymore. I couldn't keep this up.

"Jake...please... I'm begging you, let's not do this." I said, my voice trembling.

I looked up at Jacob with pleading eyes, hoping he'd see the hurt we'd caused one another and give in. We'd never fought like this before and it was truly heart numbing. I wanted to know what really brought this on, yet he wouldn't tell me. Despite my own pain, my heart went out to him, I wanted to fix whatever it was that was causing him to be this way, I wanted to ease his pain.

"No Bella, we are going to do this." he said heartlessly, balling his fists up at his sides.

My stomach twisted in knots as I eyed his fists. I took slow, smooth steps backwards and tried to even my breathing. I came to a stop in the center of the room and steadied myself.

Jacob watched me carefully, examining my movements. I caught a flash of remorse as it crossed his face before he managed to quickly hide it. "You think I would hurt you Bella?"

"I didn't say that Jake."

"Then why did you move clear across the room?" he snipped.

"I'm..I'm just uncomfortable...I think we need the space."

He laughed incredulously at my words. "I would never hurt you! Not like your leech did!"

"Please stop!" I begged.

"The truth hurts doesn't it?"

"Yes Jacob! It does! Now please stop being hateful!" I cried, my chest caving in on me. I instinctively wrapped my arms around my midsection in an attempt to hold the pain in.

"Then just be with me Bella, tell me we can be more than we are now...Please!"

I looked up at Jacob in complete shock, tears streaming from my eyes. "I can't Jacob...I can't!"

"It's because of him isn't it?

"We've already been through this!"

"Yeah, and you avoided my question then too, so answer me!" he snapped, bitterly.

"No" I said, refusing.

"So you don't love him still?"

"No, that's not what I meant."

Jacob opened and clenched his fists at his sides, and I watched as they began to tremble. "Then tell me Bella, quit playing games with me and answer me!"

"Yes!...I do love him still, I've always loved him." I said faintly, telling him what he wanted to hear.

"I knew it! You're choosing to love a memory over me?!" he retorted, as his entire body began to tremble.

"Yes Jacob! What else do you want me to say? How much more pain are you going to put us through? I do love him, and I love you too, but it's not the same, it will never be the same. I could never love you the way that I love him. And...if I did love you, you would never fully have my heart!"

My hand flew up to cover my mouth in instant regret. I couldn't believe what I had just said to him. Tears flowed freely as I stood in the proverbial hole I'd just dug myself into. There was no possible way to take those words back. Ever. I hated Jacob at that moment for pushing me to that point.

Jacob stood staring at me, in shock, his body trembling. "I...I have to go." he said

"Please don't go...I'm so sorry."

"So am I." he paused, trying even harder to control his trembling.

I stepped forward to reach out to him and he moved away from me. "Bella... don't."

"Jacob, Please." I begged.

Jacob's body was reacting to his emotions. His body began to shake violently after his attempts to calm himself had no effect. He reached up in one final attempt, letting out a soft moan as he ran his hands over the back of his head and down his face. He turned and looked at me, his face buried in anguish, it was absolutely heart wrenching.

"I love you Bella... I hope you can forgive me." he said, his voice trembling, barely audible.

He turned and silently leapt out the window.

I ran to the window in an attempt to stop him. But he was gone.

I stood staring out of the window for the longest time, then I finally closed it and stumbled to my bed in exhaustion. I laid down and curled up into the fetal position. In an instant, Jacob had turned my whole world upside down again. I was beyond hurt, there were no words for my pain. Jacob had just torn what little bit of heart I had left, straight out of me. It was like he had ripped it right out of my chest. I knew that we had both said cruel things to each other, but even with what _I_ had said, it still didn't ease the pain that he had caused me. He had been so pushy, in a hurry to make us official for some reason, and I couldn't understand why. If he had only told me what was really bothering him, I could have helped him.

The memories of everything Jacob and I had been through and shared, began to slowly stream in, afflicting my heart. I realized that _I_ was the one who had caused all this pain. _I_ was the reason we were both suffering right now. I thought of the time I had kissed him on our date, when he had kissed me on the beach, the time he rescued me from the cliff and all my reckless crusades. I had betrayed Jacob with my actions, he had seen my actions as a need for him, that I wanted him. If only I hadn't let my passion for Jacob overtake me, If I hadn't initiated that kiss on our date, or let him in at my most vulnerable moments to comfort me, I would have never betrayed him. I was consumed with regret. I should have never led Jacob on, I should have refused him, kept my distance until my heart had no longer ached for Edward. But I had used Jacob, my best friend, as an anchor - a stepping stone to gain my existence back. I had sourced all my strength from him, draining him in the process. He was my superhuman and I...his kryptonite.

I had been curled up on my bed for hours, crying and agonizing over everything. I was numb, tormented from my pain. My body was depleted of all feelings, my soul void of emotion. I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. I tried to relax myself so I could sleep, but it wasn't working. I took in a deep breath, filling my lungs to capacity and held it to a count of ten. I exhaled slowly, closing my eyes; imagining myself in a bright green meadow, covered in pink and white flowers. My eyes popped back open, I quickly cleared the image from my mind and shook my head. I couldn't even try to go to a happy place without it reminding me of something painful. _'So much for that'_, I thought to myself.

Just then, a tapping sound broke me out of my silent misery. I snapped my head towards the window, I knew that sound, having only heard it hours before. It was Jacob throwing rocks at my window. I debated on whether or not to get up and let him in. I didn't want to fight anymore tonight, I didn't have the strength. I would end up giving in if he demanded anything of me, for guilt of betraying and using him. _Tap, Tap._ There it was again, he was being persistent. Maybe he just wanted to apologize and make things right. I wanted that too, but I would be the one to make amends, not him. I had hurt _us_, I had caused this pain. _Tap, Tap_. I sat up slowly, staring at the window, debating. I decided to let him in, after all, he deserved to have me hear him out. I owed him that. _Tap, Tap, Tap._ I quickly moved to window and raised it. I leaned out and looked down, my eyes searched, but found nothing. "Jacob!" I whispered. "Jacob!" And still nothing. I tried to focus my eyes in the darkness. "Jacob, you can come in!" I began to worry, maybe he had given up and left when I hadn't come to the window right away. _Tap, Tap._ I heard the sound again, confused.

My head snapped around bringing my attention to my other window. What was he doing? I quickly realized that I had come to the wrong window and made a mad dash for the other one. _Tap, Tap._ I pushed the curtain to the side and raised it. Once again, I leaned out and focused my eyes into the dark night. "Jake!" I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I waited...nothing. "Jake!" I said again. "I'm here! Are you going to come in?" I waited once more. No response or movement acknowledging my request. Something wasn't right. Was he trying to scare me? "Jacob! Stop doing this... It's not fair!" I begged. The silence continued to permeate the darkness. I hesitantly gave up, figuring Jacob had probably given up as well and left. My stomach twisted into knots again as I realized that he probably thought I had been trying to ignore him, adding to his already mounting mass of pain.

I stretched up and slowly slid the window shut, while gazing out the window for a moment longer. As I reached out to take hold of my curtain, I stopped dead in my tracks. In my peripheral vision, I noticed a form standing in the dark shadows near my other window. It wasn't Jacob. This was a trick. It had been a setup. My body began to tremble as I clung to my curtain. I continued staring straight ahead, out of my window. I didn't want this person or thing to know I had seen it. I didn't want to give away my knowledge of it's presence just yet.

I knew this was it. Jacob had broken his promise to me about keeping me safe. He'd left in his maddening fury in an attempt to get away from me, to keep from phasing and bringing harm to me. And here I was, left unprotected. I was defenseless and trapped. I had no way of helping myself, I was powerless, already dead. I couldn't scream for help, it would only wake up Charlie and he would come running only to be handed an untimely death. I had no other choice but to face my death alone.

I questioned myself quickly in the few moments I had left. There was one thing that I did have complete control over, and that was how I went down. I had control over my last minutes, on whether or not I chose for my attacker to see into my soul before draining my life from me. I wanted them to see the spirit they were depriving so many others of. I wasn't going to let them be the coward that they were and attack me from behind, I wasn't keeping my back turned.

I slowly took a deep breath as my body trembled, and exhaled in small - short, pained breaths. I dropped my hand from the curtain and turned my eyes towards the floor. I took a quivering step out to my side, moving away from the window and turned my body around to face my attacker. I dropped my hands to my sides and slowly, but hesitantly, raised my head and looked my fate straight in the eyes.

The dark form moved towards me out of the shadows.

I clawed at my chest in pain.

My breath stopped.

My heart fell silent.

I surrendered to the blackness as it engulfed me.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:** Thank you for reading! Please leave me a review and tell me your thoughts! I'd love to hear from the readers! :)

**Influence for this Chapter:** Song 'Please Forgive Me' by David Gray

**Coming Up**... Chapter 8 'Fate' What happened to Bella?


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:**All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author's Notes:** I'd like to give a quick shout out and a big THANK YOU to CullenCarina for reviewing every single one of my chapters so far! Make sure you show her some love and head over to her page where she has some awesome reads!

**Story Notes:** Who had been in Bella's room? What did they to do her? Did fate really deliver her from her mortality or did she just imagine everything? Find out now....

"_What need I fear of thee? But yet I'll make assurance double sure, and take a bond of fate: _

_thou shalt not live; That I may tell pale-hearted fear it lies, And sleep in spite of thunder"_

_~William Shakespeare~ _

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**Chapter 8 :::FATE:::**

_I was lying in sand, cool waves were rushing up and over my body wrapping me in foam. The hot sun beaming down on me, it's rays penetrating my eyelids and burning my lips. I tried to turn my head, but a sharp pain shot through me. My neck ached as if I had slept in the wrong position. I tried to reach up to rub it, but my arm wouldn't move. I tried my other arm... nothing. I started to panic, my breathing became hurried as another wave washed over me, cutting off my air. I gasped, taking water into my mouth. As the wave rolled off, I quickly turned my head to the side and pushed the water out. _

_I tried to move my legs, they were dead weight. Nothing I tried would make them budge. My head was the only part of my body that I could move. I turned to face the sound of the water and opened my eyes. I squinted as I focused on the dark mass in front of me, It was the ocean. What was I doing here? And why couldn't I move? I tried to cry out for help, but no sound escaped my lips. Was this my heaven? I couldn't have imagined it to be anything like this. This was horrid, frightening and inconceivable. Maybe this wasn't my heaven, maybe I wasn't in heaven at all. Maybe it was my... I cut my own self off, not wanting to even think the word. _

_Trapped, that's what I was. Trapped in my own personal purgatory, to be eternally tormented. I was alone. I glanced towards the sun - opening my eyes wide, the glare quickly shutting them for me without my permission. I turned my head back facing the water, I wasn't going to live in agony for eternity. If I could end it myself I would, I could try. I opened my eyes and watched the waves. Some were barely reaching me, others were not. I would wait for the waves to wash over me and let the water consume me. I would breathe it into my lungs, bringing me to my final end. _

_I watched as a stronger wave rolled in, it crept up over me in slow motion and I sucked in the water letting it fill me. I gasped and choked for air, the salt burning my lungs. The wave washed back out as quickly as it had come in. I watched in silence, waiting patiently for another wave._

_Hours must have passed, but the sun never went down or changed position. I was still waiting for my wave, but it never came. The water kept teasing me, as if knowing what I wanted, but refused to give to me. Maybe this was part of it, the suffering. I was supposed to suffer in death as I had in life. My emotions started to overwhelm me, my heart pounding in my ears. I sobbed openly and thrashed my head about the sand. I forced out a high pitched scream that permeated the silence. I stopped, shocked. I had heard my own voice. Something pleasant out of an evil experience. I decided to use it to my advantage, to torture whatever it was that had put me here._

_I started screaming, at the top of my lungs. I wasn't sure of what I was saying, but it didn't matter. I was just going to scream. Suddenly, a figure in the distance caught my eye. It was moving towards me fast. I shut up long enough to focus on it. As the figure came closer I recognized him right away. The sparkles gave him away, it was Edward! Why was he here? I quickly decided it didn't matter and started calling for him. As long as he was here, I could endure this misery. I called for him again as he steadily kept moving towards me. _

_Unexpectedly, four - menacing - black cloaked figures emerged from the rocks, moving towards me. Their feet didn't touch the ground, they were floating, gracefully but fast moving. I was scared, unable to move, I started screaming for Edward frantically, to hurry up. A dark crackling sound rang out from the cloaked figures as they quickened their pace. _

_The cloaked figures swooped in and instantly removed me from my bed of sand. I looked up into their hoods and saw nothing but vile, blood stained eyes. I screamed for Edward._

"Bella?"

_I could hear him, but I could not see him anymore. The darkness engulfed me once more as my body shook vehemently._

"Bella?"

_I was surrounded by a black abyss, my body being moved about, my sense of direction gone._

"Bella!...Please wake up!"

_I couldn't understand what was being asked of me. I couldn't wake up, this wasn't a nightmare._

"Bella!"

_Cold...it was cold..my body was freezing. I felt entombed in a hard piece of the earth's surface._

"Bella...Please...Please!"

My eyes snapped open. I began blinking my eyes in a rapid succession to focus on my surroundings.

And then his face came into view, just a few inches above mine. "Ed...Ed...Edward?" I gasped, shaking my head.

"Bella, love." Edward said, his eyes soft, his face worn and weak. "Are you okay?"

My eyes widened as my body stiffened. "Edward?!" I was too shocked to form a rational response.

"You had a nightmare, you were screaming and... calling my name...I'm..I'm sorry." he said softly.

"Wh..What are you doing here?" I sputtered.

Edward carefully released me from his arms and set me gently back on the bed, then slowly moved away from me. He came to a final rest at the foot of my bed. This is when I had realized he had been cradling me the whole time. The bed was still cool and indented from his stone body.

"I.." he hesitated. "I came back because of _you_ Bella." he said quietly, concentrating on my expression.

"What?...When?...How long have you been here? " I questioned frantically, pulling myself up into a sitting position.

Edward studied my face, uncertainty in his eyes. "Since last night."

I brought my hand to my forehead, rubbing it in confusion. I looked around the room trying to remember the events that had transpired before waking up in Edward's arms. I looked over to my windows, then to the spot where I had last stood, where I'd waited for my fate. I remembered the fear that had consumed my body and I began trembling in response. I took a deep breath trying to pull myself together. I was tired, my body felt weak. It was like the feeling you get when you've overslept. My mind was twisting into every direction, while trying to comprehend the fact that Edward was here in my bedroom, sitting at the foot of my bed. I glanced up to Edward, he was quietly watching me. I turned my attention to each window, trying to process what had happened. My stare went back and forth between the three several times before Edward interrupted my thoughts.

"Bella, are you okay?" his face was consumed with worry.

I shook my head and furrowed my brow in confusion. "I...uh..I'm not sure."

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"What happened? How...I mean...you said you've been here since last night. When did you get here? What happened to Victoria?"

"What do you mean, what happened to Victoria?"

"She was here last night, in my room...wasn't she?" I asked, trying desperately to remember.

Edward's eyes narrowed, his jaw tightened. "No, I tracked her in the woods not too far from here, she picked up my scent and took off. And _I_ was the one who was in your room last night Bella."

"I could have sworn it was..." I paused, searching my thoughts. "That was you?"

"Yes" he said, faintly.

"I don't remember...I...I'm sorry."

"It's okay Bella, you don't have to."

"I...I thought I was dying."

"No, that wasn't the case." he began. "When I walked up to you, you began clawing at your chest, gasping for air. Then you passed out, and I caught you before you hit the floor. I carried you to the bed and tried to wake you up, but you wouldn't. So I just held you instead. You slept through the night and into the next day, then tonight, your nightmare started. You were screaming and... you kept calling out my name. I thought you knew I was here."

I shook my head trying to compare his story of what really happened to the one in my head. "I had no idea you were really here, you were in my dream though, that's probably why I was calling out your name."

I glanced over to my clock, then back to Edward. "How long have I been asleep?"

Edward arched one perfect brow. "Twenty-three hours."

"What?!" I gasped. "What did I do...hit my head?"

He shook his head slowly. "No, You're body had just shut down from exhaustion, Bella."

I wondered to myself how he would have known I'd been exhausted. It must have been obvious though, being that I had slept that long. Dealing with the fear of constantly looking over my shoulder for Victoria was enough to exhaust anyone.

"So, why didn't you go after Victoria?" I questioned, still curious.

"I was more concerned with your well being, I didn't want to leave you alone."

"You don't have to be concerned with me Edward, it's not your place to protect me."

"Bella, it _is_ my place to protect you." he whispered, his face paler than usual.

This upset me, how dare he show up out of nowhere and inform me that it was his place to protect me. After all these months of pain, and needing him...he decides to show up now. Oh how convenient this was. I didn't know whether to slap him or kiss him. I settled for a good ass chewing instead.

"So, Let me guess how this works Edward. You show up to rescue the damsel in distress, just to relieve your own conscious...Only to leave her again, because you think she's not good enough for you?"

Edward's gaze left my face and settled on the floor, his face wrenching in agony. "Bella, I'm sorry I left you and I'm sorry for hurting you. Words cannot express the contrition I carry because of that."

"You're sorry?" I snipped. "You come back after ten months, and that's all you can say is sorry?"

"Bella...Please." he begged.

"No Edward...there is no please! You can't just come running back into my life and expect me to act like nothing happened!"

"I don't expect you to feel that way." he said.

"Then, how _do you_ expect me to feel Edward?"

I watched as Edward gasped with emotion as he dropped his head into his hands. "You have a right to feel as you wish Bella."

I sighed and pulled myself next to him, but didn't reach out. I was deeply hurt _and_ mad at him, but at the same time, I still loved him. I couldn't bare to see him suffer like this.

"Why did you really come back, I know you said it was for me, but why?"

Edward turned and met my gaze, his eyes onyx, dark circles surrounding them. It was obvious he had not fed in a long time. I was worried how difficult it was for him to be so close to me.

He hesitated. "Alice saw you jump off the cliff."

My eyes lit up at the mention of her name. "Alice!." I shrieked. "Is she here?"

Edward laughed without any trace of humor at my sudden outburst. "No" he said. "I came alone."

"Oh" I muttered, obviously discouraged.

I went back to our previous topic. "So, Alice was watching for me?"

"Yes" he said, confirming my question.

"But why? I mean why would she do that, if...if you all left me?"

Edwards face dropped even more. "Because I asked her to." he admitted.

I thought about his answer for a moment, trying to make sense of it. "Why would you have Alice watching me if you didn't want me anymore?

He turned his eyes towards his lap and furrowed his brows in agony.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Bella, I've always wanted you. I still do, and I always will." he promised.

"You...You still want me?" I was confused. I moved slightly away from him and wrapped my arms around my chest. The pain was starting to show itself again. I couldn't understand why, this was supposed to be a good thing. Right?

Edward sensed my distress and reached out to me. He placed his cold hand on my arm. "Don't... Please." he begged.

My heart leapt from my chest the moment he touched me. I hadn't felt anything when he had held me earlier, but I had still been out of it. Still not in control of my thoughts or senses. I didn't know what he wanted from me. Both my mind and my stomach was twisting in knots. My insides felt like a pretzel.

"Edward, what do you want from me?" I gasped, trying to hide my discomfort.

Edward turned to me, and took my face into his stone hands holding it tightly. He ran his thumbs along my cheek bones as if he were memorizing them. "Bella" he whispered "I need you to forgive me"

"For what?" I whispered.

"For leaving you." he said, his face twisting in remorse as he spoke the words.

I wanted to forgive him. But the truth of it was, that when I did, I knew I would still be all alone. I had spent ten months without him, agonizing over him. I couldn't see myself forgiving him when he left me again. There was no way I would be able to deal with that.

I thought for a moment before speaking. "How can I forgive you if you're just going to leave again?"

Edward winced at my words, dropping his hands to his lap in guilt. "Bella, I'm not leaving you again...ever. If I do leave, I won't leave without you." he said softly.

My hearing was failing me. I could have sworn I'd heard Edward say that he wasn't leaving me again...ever. I kept repeating his words to myself, over and over, letting them sink in, trying to make sense of it all. He didn't want to leave me again, yet he didn't love me. I was beginning to think I was the only sane one in this room and that wasn't a good thing.

"So, what exactly are you saying Edward?"

"I'm saying that I won't ever leave your side again. That is, if you'll forgive me Bella. If you'll take me back. Even if you choose not to forgive me and move on, I'll still be here waiting for you, should you ever need me. I won't leave you...I will not put you through this again."

"But how can you say that you won't leave me again, when you don't love me? I don't understand, why would you do that?" I questioned, fighting back the tears as they threatened to expose me.

Anger glinted metallic in his black eyes "Bella, I lied to you, everything that I said to you that day in the woods was a lie. I told you those things in an attempt to make you hate me, it was the only way." he confessed, he was angry with himself.

"You...You lied to me?...Why?" I asked, as a stray tear fell down my cheek.

"Yes, there was no other way. I knew that if I could convince you that I didn't want you, you would end up hating me for it. It was the only way I knew of that would keep you safe. But I realize now that it only made matters worse." he waited, studying my face to make sure I was really listening. "Bella, I loved you then, and I love you still. I will always love you, no matter what. This time away from you has been excruciatingly unbearable. I came back because I couldn't be without you anymore, I can't live with the pain...without you I am nothing. You're the only reason I'm here. I exist only because of you. You sustain me."

This was a lot to take in. My mind was swirling with thoughts. "I'm so confused Edward, I don't know what to think right now!"

I knew I loved Edward, that was without a doubt, but it was confusing at the same time. He had just walked back into my life as easily as he had left. And I was supposed to have no control over this? He had controlled how we broke up, and now he was trying to control how and when we got back together. My heart had been broken into a tiny million pieces, there was no way I could just jump back into his arms and pretend none of this ever happened. He was going to have to prove himself. No matter how much I truly loved this man, he was going to have to work for it. He was going to have to work to earn my trust back, to earn me back.

He would have to fix... what he himself had broken.

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**Chapter End Notes: **Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate the reviews that are already coming in! If you haven't left one, please do so and let me know what you think so far. The reviews inspire me to keep cranking out these chapters! :) So, far...it's been 1 chapter a day...Yay me! lol

**Influence for this Chapter:** Song 'Moment of Peace' by Gregorian Chant

**Coming Up**... Chapter 9 'Perspective' Edward get's to share his point of view!


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:**All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes:** Edward's point of view. An explanation on a lot of things...but not everything!

"_What makes loneliness an anguish is not that I have no one to share my burden, but this: _

_I have only my own burden to bear."_

_~Dag Hammarskjold~_

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**Chapter 9 :::PERSPECTIVE:::**

**Edward's POV**

**Part I**

Port Angeles had it's fair share of abandoned high rises and I had called this one home for the past month. I had found myself moving closer and closer to Forks in my travels. I had been trying to convince myself to go back, but I knew I couldn't. I was sure Bella had moved on by now, and it wouldn't do either of us any good. I had to let her have her life. A real life.

I had been standing for several hours. Maybe more. I wasn't counting. I continued gazing down at the ground, wishing I was human again. Then I could jump, and it would definitely kill me. I hadn't ever heard of anyone surviving a five story fall. I was a vampire, with no way out of my eternal pain, my eternal guilt for leaving Bella. I was doomed to suffer for my stupidity, for leaving the only person that gave my existence meaning.

My phone vibrated in my back pocket.

I ignored it.

Rosalie had been calling me a bit too much lately. Begging me to come home. I didn't feel like fighting with her again tonight. All I would do was let her down, yet again. Esme had finally given up trying to bring the family back together, and now Rosalie was trying. I didn't feel like discussing it.

My phone vibrated in my back pocket again.

Maybe I should answer it, or at least see who was calling. It could always be Carlisle.

Nope, it was Alice. What did _she_ want?

I flipped it open. "Hello Alice"

_"Edward! I'm so glad you answered, I've been trying to call you for eons!"_

Something wasn't right. She _never_ called me. "What's going on?" I wanted to get straight to it. "Is Esme and Carlisle okay?"

_"Yes Edward, they're fine, everyone's fine."_

"Then why are you singing the Star Spangled Banner in Pig Latin in your head?"

There was a long pause.

"Alice?"

_"It's Bella, Edward."_

If I would have had a heart. It would have stopped beating

_"Edward?"_

I didn't answer.

_"Edward! You need to go to Forks!"_

"Why?" was all I could manage.

_"Because I see Bella jumping off of a cliff, and I don't see her coming out of the water Edward!"_

There was another long pause.

_"Edward?"_

"What?"

_"There's something else."_

"What is it Alice?"

_"I also see Victoria in Bella's bedroom."_

I shut my phone, hanging up on Alice.

I made the decision without even thinking about it. I took off running for Forks. I made sure to stay in the wooded areas, not that anyone would notice me. I was moving too fast. I had to get to Bella before she did something stupid over me. I wasn't worth her loosing her life over. I decided to follow her scent when I arrived in Forks, knowing it would lead me straight to her. I prayed to whatever was out there, to let me get there in time. She would obviously know that I was back. I also knew that I wouldn't want to leave her. But it would be her call, our fate would lie in her hands.

I arrived in Forks only moments later, the sun having already set. I chased Bella's scent past her house and into the woods. It had brought me to the treaty line when I noticed her old truck flying by me in the opposite direction. I immediately turned around and kept time with her truck. I could see Bella in the passenger seat, so I slowed my pace thankful she was okay.

I made it to Bella's house before she did. I slid down onto the wet ground and propped myself up against a tree to wait.

Bella's truck pulled in and I instantly knew Jake was with her, his scent and thoughts were already harassing me.

_I'm glad I got to her in time, she would have drowned for sure if I hadn't seen her jump in._

So that's why Alice hadn't seen Bella coming out of the water, Jacob had pulled her out.

_I deserve more than a thank you at least, maybe I can corner her into kissing me._

A low hiss escaped my lips as I yanked my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Bella's number, making sure to block mine in the process. If she answered, I would hang up. I just wanted to break up this love connection Jacob was desperate to have.

I watched as Bella pulled her cell phone out of the glove box and flipped it open. She was just staring at it. I quickly hung up when her voice mail came on. She seemed thankful that the phone call interrupted Jacob's advances. And so was I.

_Great! Just Great! Leave it to the phone to interfere when I was busting a move! Dammit!_

I smirked at my accomplishment.

Bella quickly emerged from the truck, and Jacob was right behind her. I noticed how Bella was uneasy with his closeness. She had never been that way with me. She had always been happy when I was near her, just as I had been with her.

Another stray thought from Jacob slipped through. I had been trying to block him.

_If only she wasn't so distant. I know it's because of him. She just won't let him go._

I quickly focused on something else. I wasn't ready to deal with the pain.

Jacob took off after his advances had been refused yet again. And he was coming my way into the woods. I silently watched as he came to a sudden stop and sniffed the air. I stood up, careful to make no sounds. He turned around and saw me.

I grinned.

"Hello Jacob"

I thought Jacob's eyes were going to explode. It was almost hilarious. But I didn't feel like laughing.

"Miss me?" I mused.

"What in the hell are you doing here leech!" Jacob said, balling his fists up at his sides.

"I'm here for Bella, to protect her."

"She doesn't need your protection you freaking Bloodsucker! She has me!"

"I beg to differ Jacob Black."

"You stay away from her! You've done enough damage!" he paused, heaving viciously. "What are you protecting her from anyway?...Yourself?"

I shook my head. "I'm protecting her from you."

"If you go anywhere near her, I'll rip you to shreds!" he promised.

"Don't make a promise you can't keep Jacob."

"You need to leave...and do it now!" he ordered, and took off running into the woods.

I slumped back down against my tree and pulled out my cell phone. I dialed Bella's house number and, once again - blocked mine. It rang, but she never answered. I wanted to let her know that I was back. But I wanted to do it gently. It's not like I could just go walking up to her door and knock, like an old friend passing through. I just wanted to know if she would grant me the honor of speaking to her in person. I didn't deserve it, but it was worth a try.

I listened intently as I heard Bella climbing the stairs, then the bathroom door shutting. It was odd, that after all this time, I still remembered the sounds of her house. I heard the shower turn on, and she was humming. I listened harder, she wasn't humming, she was crying. I heard her voice whisper my name. This was about me. Her suffering was due to my selfishness. I truly hated myself at this moment. I wanted so badly to rush to her and console her. To wrap her in my arms and take in her scent, to kiss the top of her head and soothe her with my lullaby.

An hour had passed and Bella was fast asleep. I pulled myself up and made my way to her window, climbing in. I stood there for a long time just watching her. I could do this for the rest of my existence, and I would be truly happy. Just being near her eased my pain. I silently moved next to her bed. I watched as her chest moved up and down with each breath she took, and her face was so serene, and perfect. She had always been beautiful, and once, she had been mine. Her scent began to filter into my throat as I took a deep breath in. It was so painful, my throat felt like it was on fire. I hadn't eaten in what seemed forever. But, it didn't matter, this was worth any pain, I welcomed it.

I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help myself. I longed to touch her, to feel her warm velvet skin under my fingertips. I found myself reaching out and caressing her cheek with the back of my hand. I whispered her name, so low that I knew she was incapable of hearing it.

She smiled at my touch, and called out my name in a faint whisper. I froze. She knew, even though she was asleep, that I was here.

* * *

I was running through the woods, trying to hold on to the scent, It was Victoria. She had come too close to Bella's house this morning. As I was leaving out of the window, I had caught sight of her hiding just behind the wood line. I knew she had kept her distance because of my presence. She had been waiting for me to leave, so she could have her vengeance.

This is when Alice's vision finally made sense. Bella jumping off the cliff and Victoria in her bedroom. If I had not been with Bella in her room last night, Victoria would have surely made a move. I cringed at the thought. I had put Bella in this position, I had left her to fend for herself. I became furious with myself and pushed harder towards the scent.

I suddenly realized that I had been running in a circle, It felt like my own past few months in comparison. Victoria was trying to lead me on a course of confusion, she was playing one of her games. I would be running all day if I let this continue, it wouldn't bother me in the least, but I didn't want to be kept away from Bella. I turned, and immediately headed back towards Bella's house.

As I stood hidden in the wood line just outside of Bella's house, I made the decision to try and call her again. Worry for her safety coursed through my hardened veins, I had to somehow let her know that Victoria was so close to her, waiting for that perfect moment.

I gazed at my phone for a few moments before flipping it open and dialing her cell phone number. No answer. I hung up and tried her house phone, I knew she was home. I could hear her in the house moving around. Still no answer. I had to think of a way to let her know, I had to act quickly. I hung up my phone, shoving it into my back pocket. I make a quick decision that I would have to tell Bella in person. It was the only way.

I made my way through Bella's bedroom window and listened. I heard her in the hallway mumbling something to herself about calling Jacob. I held my breath, not only because Bella's scent was so intoxicating, but because it hurt. The hurt wasn't from the pain of her scent, it was because I knew showing up out of nowhere would hurt her yet again. I was always, even though I didn't physically exist in her life anymore, bringing her anguish.

I heard Bella go into Charlie's room, still mumbling. I was beginning to loose my resolve, I imagined what her expression would be like when she saw me. I quickly shook it from my thoughts, I couldn't do this to her. There had to be some other way. I heard Bella's footsteps coming towards her bedroom door and I ran, giving up on my plan. I made it through the window and into the wood line before her door even opened.

I made a quick run around the perimeter of the wooded area. I was trying to see if I could pick up Victoria's scent again, to make sure she hadn't come back through without my noticing it. I thought for a moment that I had picked it up, but I soon realized it was just residual. Victoria's scent was easily recognizable, it was a mix of fire and freesia. _What a combination_, I thought to myself.

After spending sometime in the woods, making sure that everything was to my liking, and that Bella would be safe for the time being, I made my way back to her house.

I arrived at my destination, keeping myself hidden away in my sheath of timber. I had been sorting through my ideas of how to let Bella know that I was back, and that Victoria was here, when I heard Jacob's car pull into the driveway. My stone heart sunk, as I watched Bella run out and wrap her arms around Jacob. I turned to look away, I couldn't handle it. It didn't matter that I knew she didn't want him in the way that she had wanted me. But it still hurt.

A low growl caused my head to turn back towards the reunion. Jacob was facing me, he knew I was still here. He could smell me, but he couldn't see me.

I silently watched as his face twisted into anger.

_I thought I told you to leave bloodsucker! _

Bella rolled down her window and asked Jacob if everything was okay. I shook my head when he played it off, lying to her about some unfamiliar scents.

_You better stay out of her room and away from her! I'm the only one allowed in there!_

Fantasies of what Jacob wanted to do with Bella in her room flooded through his mind.

A snarl escaped my lips as I stood and clenched my fists. I suddenly realized that he was doing this on purpose, he knew I wouldn't come out of hiding and expose myself to Bella just to confront him. Jacob was getting too cocky for his own good.

I watched as they pulled out of the driveway, and let my anger rule me. I ran through the woods running parallel to the old car. I didn't want Bella with Jacob, I couldn't protect her while she was with him in La Push. I didn't even know if Jacob would tell Bella about Victoria being here, he knew she was after Bella, I had heard the pack tracking her last night.

I came to a full stop when I reached the treaty line. I wasn't allowed to go any further. Even though the rest of my family hadn't arrived yet, I could always cross and deal with the repercussions alone. They wouldn't have to know, it would be worth it if Bella needed me. Her safety was my only concern.

I turned and started making my way back to Forks, when I heard faint steps gaining behind me. I stopped and swung around, my eyes coming to rest on an overgrown and obviously overfed wolf. It's coat was a smokey color, the only distinct marking was a tiny patch of brown that led from his forehead, down to it's wide muzzle.

The wolf snorted. _It's Paul_

"Oh, Hello Paul."

Paul looked around letting out a few grunts, motioning with his head.

_The pack has been tracking Victoria, but we haven't been able to catch her._

"Yes, yes I know. I heard you out doing so last night. What can I do for you Paul?"

_I was hoping you would work with us Edward. _

"Work with you how?" I asked, curious.

_If you find yourself after Victoria, try to flush her towards the treaty line. So we can help. And we'll do the same for you._

"I think I can manage that." I said with a wry smile. "But Jacob won't like it."

_Jacob can kiss my ass!_

I laughed at Paul's frankness. "The feeling is mutual."

Paul let out a series of huffs, his head bobbing up and down, he was laughing. He quickly turned around and looked behind as if he heard something and then back to me.

_Gotta go! _

I nodded and he took off in a long stride, vanishing into the thicket.

I eventually made my way back to Bella's house, I walked the entire way. Yes, I walked. I was in no hurry. I knew Jacob would be keeping her to himself for as long as he possibly could. He was keeping her away from me in the process. And Bella had no clue.

I climbed through Bella's bedroom window and crossed the room to the rocking chair. I sat down and waited, my thoughts wandering to the times Bella and I spent here. The times I had sat here watching her as she slept.

The sound of Jacob's car coming down the road quickly broke me from my reverie. I made a quick escape, just in time for the car to pull into the driveway. I turned to look back at the window. _Ugh!_ I had forgot to close the window again in my haste. I had to stop doing that, I was getting messy. All I was doing was frightening Bella in the process. This was _so_ not my plan, and I knew Jacob would use it to his advantage.

I instantly had to block Jacob's thoughts from my head. He knew I was still out here and I wouldn't be able to control myself. He wasn't going to win this downhill battle. I watched as they stood on the front door steps. Jacob was facing me again, still unable to see me. But knew I was watching him.

I turned away to keep myself in control. I walked further out into the woods trying to busy myself. I was naming the species of each plant, as I heard Jacob asking Bella out on a date. I paused, and held my breath while I waited for her reply. I could hear the unsteady gait of her heart, and her panicked breathing. Was she scared?

Moments later Jacob came rushing into the woods. He was looking for me. I scrambled to my feet from where I had been sitting, shredding plants into tiny pieces while I had waited for him to leave.

"I thought I told you to leave you freaking leech!" he snarled.

I smirked. "Why would I do that, when I can stay here and watch you get turned down?"

Jacob took a step towards me, giving me a quick once over. His eyes squinted in agitation. "She isn't turning me down you idiot, you obviously heard that for yourself tonight." he paused, arrogance flashing across his face. "Besides, I _will_ have something that you could only dream about!"

Jacob forced different sexual scenarios through his mind, of how he wanted his date with Bella to play out in the end. I tried to block it until one flashed through that showed him forcing himself onto Bella.

I stepped up into Jacob's face. My top lip curled up over my teeth as I hissed. "Listen to me you rabid dog, You will _NEVER_ have Bella in that fashion!" I flashed my clenched teeth as a warning, letting out a high pitched snarl. "If you ever try, I will kill you!"

"Have fun trying!" Jacob snarled back, and he took off running.

I stood fuming at Jacob's thoughts for the longest time. I couldn't let him do this to her, I couldn't let her go out on that date, knowing his intentions. I reached for my cell phone and dialed Bella's number. As usual, no answer. I made my way back to her house and stood just outside of the wood line, peering up at her window. Debating. I had to find a way to get her to answer that phone. She was so stubborn, I couldn't think of much that might work.

I climbed up through the window when I was sure she had fallen back asleep. I searched for her phone. I knew that she used to put it underneath her pillow at night while waiting for me to call. I tried there, and found it. I quickly placed it on the window sill and crept out of the window. I ran back into the woods and dialed her number.

I watched as Bella came to the window in a daze and picked up the phone. She flipped it open, staring at it. She yelled at the phone and shut the power off. _Ugh! _What was I going to do?

I waited until she was asleep and made my way back through the window. At least she had left it open this time. Bella was curled up on top of her covers at the foot of her bed, with her cell phone in her hand. She must have been laying there in thought and had fallen asleep. She had done this a lot in the past. I don't know how many times I had found her this way.

I walked up to her and slowly, but carefully, removed the cell phone from her relaxed fingers. I reached over and placed it on the night stand. I didn't know if she would notice that the cell phone had been moved again, but it was kind of my way of letting her know I had been here. A kind of morbid way of easing my conscious.

I moved over to the rocking chair and sat down. I took in a deep breath to let her scent assault my senses. It was particularly strong being I still hadn't fed, and my throat started to ache. I absentmindedly ran my fingers down the arms of the chair, and back again, trying to focus on something else. I decided to hold my breath for the duration, it was the best option.

I watched her sleep for the longest. I wanted to wrap her into my arms and hold her. To feel her warmth against my cold dead body, and feel alive again. I needed her, probably as much as she needed me. I almost wished that she would wake up and catch me sitting here. As if she had heard my thoughts, she called out my name. Shocked, I looked to her eyes to see if they were open, only to find them resting peacefully. She was still asleep. My hopes were thankfully, but discouragingly dashed.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:** I hope you enjoyed Part one of Edward's point of view. Please leave a review and let me know what you think! Your opinion matters! :) Much love to the readers!

**Influence for this Chapter:** Song 'Porcelain' by Moby

**Coming Up**... Chapter 10 'Viewpoint' Edward's POV Part 2


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes:** Edward continues his point of view...and discovers a secret that could shatter Bella's world!

_The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep. _

_~Edgar Watson Howe~_

_

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_

**Chapter 10 'Viewpoint'**

**Edward's POV**

**Part 2**

Bella had left for her date and I was busy trying to occupy my time until she arrived back home. I was not happy with the fact that she was out with Jacob again. I felt helpless that I was unable to be near her and keep her protected. But this was my fault. If I had stayed with Bella and not have left her over my own selfish reasons, we would still be together. I wouldn't be fretting over her safety, nor would she be out with Jacob, open to the situation that he could possibly take advantage of her. I _had_ to have some faith in Jacob though, that he wouldn't really do something to cause her harm. I knew that he was only trying to anger me, and it was working. Still, I wasn't going to let Jacob or his thoughts bring me to the verge of breaking my word to Carlisle. But I _would_ kill him if he hurt Bella. That is a promise I would keep.

So far, I was successful in suppressing my feelings of anguish and heartache since I had arrived in Forks. I would deal with them later. My main objective was to make sure Bella was protected, and that Victoria would meet the end of her existence. I would torment myself later, if I let myself fall now, I wouldn't even be able to function. Bella was my top priority.

I had been running through the wooded area surrounding Bella's house, searching for Victoria's scent. I thought it would give me something to do, make me feel useful for Bella's sake if anything. I knew that Bella didn't know I was out here doing this for her, but it's not that I was looking for any praise or reward for my gesture. I was doing this because I loved her and I wanted her safe, regardless of the outcome that was in store for us.

I made a thorough pass through the woods and found nothing. Just some road kill that someone had so thoughtfully disposed of. _Nice. _This was one of the times that I was glad to be a Vampire, I would have certainly lost my stomach had I been human. This day was off to a lovely start. I was thinking of just how uneventful the day was continuing to be when I heard a sharp howl ring out from the distance.

I knew right away it was Paul, and he was chasing something.

I set off in a flash, quickly picking up Paul's scent. As I moved closer, the scent of freesia and fire flared through my nostrils, it was definitely Victoria. I picked up my speed, worried that Paul might loose her, I hoped that he could stay on her long enough for me to get to the treaty line.

As soon as I reached the treaty line, A hissing Victoria came flying right over me, landing in a crouch behind me. Without hesitation, I spun around and flew straight into Victoria. The air cracked, reverberating off the trees as I slammed my body into hers, slinging her through the air into a boulder. Victoria peeled herself off in a blur from the jagged surface, and landed on her feet crouched and ready. I coiled my body defensively and pulled back my lips in a teeth-baring snarl. I quickly scanned her thoughts to stay ahead of her movements, and saw that she had no intentions to fight me.

Victoria slowly began to back away when she noticed Paul was behind me, waiting for his chance. Her crimson eyes flickered to him for only a second before she turned her furious gaze back to me. Her scarlet hair, tangled into matted curls, hung over a fresh crack on her stone cheek, reminding me of a busted windshield. I grinned internally at the damage I'd caused, longing to inflict more.

"What are you waiting for Victoria?...let's dance!" I said, waiting impatiently.

Victoria scoffed. "The dance you will receive won't be the dance of death my dear, but one of eternal suffering for the loss of your mate!"

"That will be hard to accomplish if you're dead Victoria!" I snarled viciously, slowly moving towards her.

Victoria began to retreat, slowly backing up as Paul's growl steadily grew in pitch as he moved beside me. She threw him a wary glance before she spun around and flew into the forest in a blur. Paul and I took off after her. A mile into our chase, Victoria's scent began to fade so I suggested we split up and run the edge of the perimeter.

A few miles before we entered Forks, Paul's thoughts broke my stride in an instant.

_He's dead! Ew! Ew!This is Sick! I think I'm gonna barf!_

I quickly found Paul and noticed just exactly what he was talking about. It was a younger man, He looked to be at least in his late twenties. He had been hiking and obviously bled dry. I leaned over and took a whiff of the air surrounding the body.

A loud snort came from Paul as he hid his muzzle under his paws.

_Dude! What are you doing?? _

"I'm checking the scent, to make sure it was Victoria."

_I could have told you that! No offense, but you vamps stink ferociously!_

I let out a quick chuckle and regained my composure. "I need to call this in."

Paul paced back and forth as I made an anonymous call to report the hiker. It was definitely Victoria and I couldn't stand around all day. I had to get back to Bella's house and do it quickly.

* * *

It was in the early morning hours when I saw Charlie's cruiser finally pull into the driveway. I sense of relief came over me as I watched him help Bella out of the car and inside. I could smell Jacob's scent rolling off of her and I winced in disgust.

After I heard Charlie snoring soundly and Bella's breathing slow to a relaxed pace, I made my way in through her window. This was becoming a bad habit. I knew that I didn't have the right to be in here watching her sleep. I'd given that up when I had walked away from her.

This was the only time I had, to be with Bella. Since Jacob knew that I was back, he would definitely be trying to push harder to sway her to be with him. I thought about it some more and decided that it was time I put him in a compromising position. I was sick of Jacob playing games with me, knowing that I wouldn't fight back to keep from exposing myself to Bella. I would find a way to force Jacob to stop this endless battle. This was going to end.

Hours later, I watched as Charlie pulled out of the driveway and I sunk back into my bed of leaves. I had heard his and Bella's conversation earlier that she was expecting Jacob over later. Maybe I would get my chance to have a few words with him. A few minutes later I heard Bella on the house phone telling Jacob that she was going to get some sleep. I paused for a moment debating whether or not I should go in and decided against it. I knew she wouldn't be sleeping deeply this time of day. I didn't want to chance it.

Suddenly, a gust of wind brought a scent of freesia and fire to me. I sat up and turned towards the direction of the wind. And that's when I saw Victoria. She was behind the house in the wood line, leering at it with intensity. She was trying to determine if Bella was alone or not, so I kept myself a step ahead. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Bella's house phone. I had no option but to tell her to get out of the house. Either that or I would have to go in. Regardless, I wasn't going to let Victoria have her way. It rang, and I listened as she picked up the phone only to slam it back down.

I shook my head in frustration but kept a silent watch on Victoria, waiting to hear her next move. She was determining which way to enter the house, and as the thought crossed Victoria's mind to enter Bella's bedroom, she was already blurring in through the window. I was a step ahead, waiting.

Victoria slumped into a crouch glaring her teeth at me. I mirrored her, but with more intensity, anger and desperation fueling my rage. Her thoughts were fleeting and unrestrained, and I saw in her mind, how she longed to have her revenge. Suddenly, Jacob's face flashed through her mind and I paused for one shocking moment. _Hmm, Isn't this interesting! _I thought to myself, before Victoria's hiss broke the silence.

"Oh how noble of you to try and _delay_ Bella's death!" she snapped, her words fluttering so fast no human could hear.

"You are only delaying _yours_!" I said fiercely, as I coiled and lunged towards Victoria.

Victoria dropped and slid underneath me as a baseball player would slide into home plate, and flitted out the window behind me.

I turned around to chase her, but stopped myself in my tracks. I had to keep Bella safe. Victoria was only trying to pull me away from the house so she could get Bella alone. I wasn't going to fall for it. I would have to deal with her later.

I moved towards the window to get a view of the wood line. Just as I stepped forward to move, a loud squeak bellowed up from the floor. I cringed, knowing Bella had heard it. I listened for confirmation. I could hear her unsteady breathing and her heart was beating rapidly. I knew she would be coming up to check and that I couldn't stay here. Once again, I had to think fast.

I hurriedly made my way out of the window and back into the wood line. I ran a quick course of the area surrounding the house to check for Victoria. I didn't pick up her scent so I turned back, settling in my usual spot.

I knew that without a doubt, I had to let Bella know that Victoria had been in her house, not to mention her bedroom. I needed to let her know that I was back, she had a right to know. I knew Jacob would be coming over soon so I had to do something fast.

Without really thinking it through, I went back in through Bella's window. I took her cell phone off of her nightstand, setting it in the window sill and left, leaving the window open behind me. I pulled out my phone and dialed her number. I swore to myself that this would be the last time I would call her. Well, call her with my number blocked that is. Hopefully, she would come to the window to retrieve her phone and I would walk out of the woods and reveal my presence. It was the only way I knew how.

I watched as Bella ran up to the window. She looked at her phone and shook her head, mumbling incoherently. She leaned out of the window and began looking around confused. This was it, time for me to show myself. I stood up and began walking out of the wood line when I heard Jacob's bike coming around the corner. I stopped and turned around, Jacob managing once again, to keep me out of the picture. But not for long.

I dropped into the grass and listened. It was all I could do. That and wait to see if Victoria would come back again. I listened to Bella and Jacob's conversation, word for word. I laughed to myself as Jacob's heartbeat began to pick up speed when Bella asked him if he smelled vampire in the room. I knew from his thoughts that he picked up mine _and _Victoria's scent.

Jacobs thoughts were scattering frantically. He was afraid of loosing Bella to me. He was very worried about the fact that I had been in her room. He debated several times whether or not to tell her but kept convincing himself not to. He thought that if he told her I had been there or that I was back that she would leave him and come running back to me.

I heard Bella whisper _"Jake, I need you to stay with me, please don't go running off just because you think something bad could happen to me"_

I cringed, wishing I had tears. I knew the implication of her words. I had left her, left her to keep her from harm. Instead of trusting in her, trusting in _us,_ I walked away so she wouldn't have to be placed in another harmful situation. This was my fault. My actions had caused her to react this way.

Bella's house phone rang out and broke into my thoughts. I leaned my head back towards the house to pick up the conversation, but it was Jacob on the phone. I could hear in his thoughts that it was Sam, and he was telling Jacob about the confrontation Paul and I had with Victoria.

Jacob was now explaining to Bella that I was a _complication,_ if she only knew that's what he really meant. I was actually surprised at how far he was going to lie to her. He had passed up several opportunities to tell her about me. But he was steadily refusing. He could have at least been man enough to tell her that Victoria was in her room, but I guess that information wasn't important either.

Just then Jacob came bolting into the woods.

"Edward!...I know your here!" he called out, his eyes searching.

I emerged from my hiding spot revealing myself to Jacob.

"What do you want Jacob?" I immediately began blocking his thoughts from my head, I didn't particularly care what he was here for.

Jacob crossed his arms across his chest and and took a deep breath in, releasing it quickly. He seemed arrogant still but with a slight touch of distress. He hesitated as if the words he was about to speak would kill him.

"Edward, I need you to watch out for Bella for me. Sam called the pack to a meeting and I have to go. I promised her that I'd have someone out here watching her."

"So I heard." I shook my head in disbelief. "I've been out here the whole time trying to keep her safe Jacob, it's fatuous that you would even ask this of me."

"Well, it's not like she needs constant protection. I think you're overdoing it."

"Oh really Jacob? Is that a fact? If I'm overdoing it, then where were you today while Victoria was in Bella's room? I honestly didn't think that you were as stupid as you looked."

Jacob let out a low throaty growl. "You led Victoria there Edward, you wanted Bella to find you in her room protecting her, you're the one trying to be a hero here, not me." An arrogant smirk played across his face, causing my fists to clench at my sides.

"Jacob, you are a truly deluded. Go to your meeting and get away from me, before you cause me to do something that I'll regret. Your endeavor has been futile." I flashed Jacob a warning glance and turned to walk away, thwarting any attempt to set me off any further. I refused to let him continue this idiotic charade. I made my way back to my original spot, listening as Jacob took off into the woods.

I settled into a comfortable position, as comfortable as any vampire could possibly be. I had no problem staying in the same position for hours on end. Though sometimes, it became monotonous and I would move around just to humor my own self. I had become quite the expert in entertaining myself, all these endless hours of sitting out here keeping a safe watch on Bella.

Hour upon hour I sat thinking of a proper way to reveal myself to Bella, to let her know that I was back. I wanted so badly for her to know. I wanted the ability to wrap her into my arms and hold her tightly. I needed what we once had, to live as if the world had no meaning unless we were together. I wanted her forgiveness for my selfishness, but didn't think I deserved it.

I continued to battle with my emotions. I didn't need to make any assumptions of the outcome, of me revealing to Bella that I had returned to Forks. I would deal with it properly when it did happen. And I would permit myself to only do as she asked. I would force myself out of her life if that is what she requested of me. Though, I wouldn't go away quietly, not before confessing my love for her. As it stood, she still thought that I was gone and didn't love her. That I had given up on us. I had left her to feel as if I didn't trust her enough to endure whatever came our way. This was pointless, I was pouring over my miseries again, and causing my own anguish to rise up. I deftly put it aside.

I heard leaves crunching beneath hardened - well paced footsteps in the distance. I jumped up to my feet as I caught the scent. It was Jacob again, he was back from his meeting. I waited in silence to see if he would ignore my presence when I quickly remembered my plan of confronting him, my plan to put his games to rest.

I turned and flitted to Jacob, startling him. His body began trembling for a short moment until he realized it was me. After quickly composing himself, Jacob's face contorted into it's usual arrogant and egotistical fix. I studied his expression for a moment before choosing my words carefully. I wanted Jacob to fully comprehend what I was about to say.

"Jacob, I'm going to ask you to do something for me." I said, conscious of my demeanor.

Jacob arched a brow in curiosity. "That depends on what it is."

"Well...I'm quite sure you'll be interested in _this_."

Jacob laughed. "I could use some entertainment leech, let's hear it!" he spat, his attitude cavalier.

"I want you to tell Bella...that I'm back in Forks." I ordered.

Jacob shifted his weight, one foot to the other, obviously confused "And why would I do something like that? Are you too scared to do it yourself?" Jacob asked, taunting me.

I folded my arms across my chest, disregarding his attempt at sarcasm. "No Jacob, that isn't the case at all, it has nothing to do with me, but everything to do with you."

Jacob shook his head. "What does this have to do with me?" he asked, baffled.

"Well, it's something that I believe would be in _your_ best interest."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, It would."

"And how would this be in my best interest?"

"Because if you don't tell Bella...well, let me put it to you like this mongrel." I paused, speaking my words slow and precise. "I will tell Bella about your deal with Victoria."

"What deal?" Jacob asked, feigning confusion.

I took a step towards Jacob and dropped my fists to my sides, clenching them. "Don't play stupid with me dog! I saw the deal you made with Victoria in her thoughts today, when we were in Bella's bedroom!"

Jacob froze, he knew I had him. He started to speak and quickly stopped himself. He looked around aimlessly, trying to think of a way to explain his way out of this. He stood staring at me for a moment, eventually remembering that I could read his mind and immediately gave in to the facade.

"It's not like I had a freaking choice bloodsucker!" Jacob yelled furiously, a look of panic crossing his face.

"Yes you did have a choice, and you made the wrong one!" I said, pointing out the fact. "Now either you go in there and tell Bella the whole truth, or I will." I demanded.

Jacob's expression fell from his face into desperation as he scrambled for a solution. "Well, I have a better deal for you."

"And what would that be?" I asked, already knowing his answer.

Jacob paused in thought for a moment thinking his idea might work if he played it to my advantage. "What if...I _don't_ tell Bella that your back and, what if I _don't_ tell her about my deal with Victoria and I just walked away? I wouldn't even fight you for Bella, I'd just disappear!"

"No." I said, shaking my head. "That's not going to work. You're not going to walk away from what you've done. Bella deserves the truth, and that's exactly what she's going to get, whether it comes from you...or from me."

Jacob stood shaking his head at me in disbelief. His thoughts revealing that he was anxious to escape my accusing glare, to escape dealing with the truth, then quickly turning to his need for Bella. Without hesitation, he turned and started walking towards Bella's house. Suddenly, he stopped and glared back at me.

_Payback is going to be hell for you Edward!_

I nodded. "Game on."

Jacob turned and faced the house, stalling. He sighed heavily in apprehension, and took off in a sprint.

I stood and watched Jacob until he vanished. I was waiting to see if he would tell Bella the truth. I was right though, she did have a right to know. Even though I had threatened him, that I would tell her if he didn't, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. He owed this to her, she was involved after all. This just wasn't about putting Jacob in a compromising position, or winning the fight for Bella. It was about making things right. Even though I had my own issues to correct with her, this deal with Victoria that Jacob had made was beyond anything else.

I listened as Jacob and Bella fought. I should have known that Jacob couldn't tell her. Instead of being honest with her and letting her decide for herself who she wanted, and revealing his deal, he was just trying to push her into a relationship with him. What was he thinking? I knew exactly what he was thinking, but that was besides the point. Bella didn't, and Jacob knew that his secret could damage their friendship forever. He was thinking that if he could convince Bella to have a permanent relationship with him, that it would be easier for her to forgive him when she found out.

The more I listened to Bella suffer at Jacob's words, the more I wanted to go in there and take her into my arms to comfort her. I was furious at Jacob for doing this to her. I grabbed at the trees next to me and wrapped my hands around their trunks. I was focusing on keeping my calm, while the whole time the image of ripping my claws into Jacob flashed through my mind. I took a deep breath though it wasn't needed and steadied myself. Killing Jacob at this moment would not help my case, nor Bella's for that fact. _Focus Edward Focus_, I told myself. I let my anger vent itself into the wood, causing it to disintegrate under my steel grasp.

Suddenly, the sound of footsteps caught my attention. I had been focusing so hard that I hadn't noticed Jacob leaving Bella's room. He was moving fast, phasing before he even reached the wood line, and ran right past me without even a glance back.

I quickly made my way to the edge of the woods and looked up at Bella's window. I froze, realizing that she was looking straight at me. I stood as still as my stone body would allow, it's not usually something hard to do, but considering the situation at hand, it was _extremely_ difficult. I knew that I could always run, knowing she wouldn't see me, but I didn't _want_ to move.

Bella continued to gaze out at me, though her eyes were unseeing. It seemed as if she was having an internal battle, the hurt and anguish written all over her face. She finally closed the window and walked away, and I let out a sigh of relief in response.

I turned and started to make my way back into the woods, when Bella's crying brought me to a standstill. I couldn't take this anymore, I had to do something. I couldn't let her suffer like this, I knew she needed me and I needed her.

I didn't even debate what I was about to do. I just went through with it, knowing that soon, Bella would know that I was back. Without hesitation, I began tossing gravel at Bella's window. I heard Bella moving towards the window and I quickly hid. I watched as she raised the window, whispering out Jacob's name. It was an obvious fact that she would assume it was Jacob, because I of course was copying his earlier behavior to get her attention. I knew this would work.

I repeated the same at Bella's other window before moving back to the first one and made my way in, standing quietly in front of the window watching her. She turned to pull the curtain closed and saw me out of the corner of her eye, her heart quickening in response. I steadied myself as she turned around and looked up at me. I stepped forward slowly out of the shadows and revealed myself to her, her eyes widened in shock, as she began to gasp for air. She reached up to claw at her chest as her eyes rolled into the back of her eyelids and eventually passing out. I rushed to her side in time to catch her before she could hit the floor, and so I stood there holding her in my arms, not knowing what to do.

I picked up her up into my arms and carried her to the bed. I sat down with her and made a few attempts to wake her up, but with no results. I could tell that her body was exhausted and needed it's rest. Her mind and her heart were weary, depleted of any energy, but just enough to keep them going.

I curled my arms around Bella and brought her to my chest. I kissed her forehead and noticed that her breathing had steadied. I closed my eyes and leaned in, resting my lips on her cheek - breathing her in. Bella was finally in my arms and I could hold her like this forever.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:** As always, thank you for reading! Please leave a review and let me know your opinion! What the readers have to say matters greatly to me! Thanks in advance! :)

**Influence for this Chapter:** Song 'Deliver Me' by Sara Brightman

**Coming Up**... Chapter 11 'Decision' What will Bella decide to do now that Edward is back? How will she deal with Jacob?


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes:** Bella rediscovers her feelings for Edward and tries to get everything figured out on her own. Has Edward finally come to the realization that he just can't jump right back into a relationship with Bella? Find out.......

"_The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is it's own reward." _

_~Amelia Earhart~_

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**Chapter 11 :::Decisions:::**

I stretched my arms and legs out letting my body sink into the soft ground. The grass was still a bit damp from the morning dew but not wet enough to saturate my clothing. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, forcing the fresh air into my lungs, then exhaled quickly pushing it out of my lungs in a scream.

My mind was so twisted and confused nothing I had done had worked, so I had figured that screaming was my last therapeutic hope. I know it seemed such an insane thing to be doing, but considering my current situation, it felt perfectly great! The bright sun beamed through my closed eyelids causing them to glow red. It reminded me of one of those glow-in-the-dark necklaces that you bought at carnivals. I turned my head to the side and a blade of grass stuck in my forehead, wrinkling my nose at the pricking sensation. I was happy to feel, or was I?

My moment in the meadow was intended to bring some kind of relief. Relief from the confusion I had felt with having Edward back in my life and Jacob mad at me. Both wanted me to be a part of their lives. Though I didn't want to think of, to what extent they wanted me because I already knew. Figuring it all out was going to be the hard part.

With Edward being back, he was expecting things to go back to normal. He had said he'd still loved me and didn't want to be without me, yet he would wait for my decision about us, that he would respect it. And yet, somehow I knew he would, but I also knew that regardless of whatever I was to decide, he wasn't going to leave. He'd promised to never leave me again. Which brought my thoughts to Jacob.

What if I decided to be with Jacob and not Edward? Would Edward still stick around and watch that happen right underneath him? I couldn't even begin to imagine seeing Edward with someone else, watching their relationship play out right in front of my eyes. I would be beside myself. I didn't know what kind of normal person could do something like that. But then again, Edward wasn't normal so to speak, and neither was I.

I did know one thing was for sure, I did still love Edward, and that was without a doubt. I didn't even have to question that fact. But one thing that was for sure, if I did, and I stress _IF_ I did, get back with Edward, it wouldn't be a simple task. We wouldn't just jump right back into where we left off and live happily ever after. There was no way in hell that I was going to do that. Edward was going to have to pay some kind of penance for breaking my heart. Because, what if I didn't make him earn me back? Then that would be giving him permission to do it to me again. He would look at me as some passive, overly forgiving person that took whatever came my way with a grain of salt. There would be no kissing a boo boo and making it all better here.

I had spent the better part, or should I say worse part of my last ten months missing Edward with every part of my body imaginable. I had grieved myself into misery. I had become so miserable that I didn't want anything to do with my friends. I had even dreaded going into work. Finishing school had been a task in it's own. Especially with everyone there knowing that Edward had just up and left me out of nowhere after having such an intense relationship. I knew it wasn't healthy to have been and acted the way I did. But I had no other choice. When Edward left me, he took of piece of my heart with him. If it hadn't been for Jacob and his kindness, I wouldn't have been able to piece myself back together, much less roll myself out of bed in the mornings.

I laughed to myself openly at the thought of mornings. I knew good and well that I didn't get up in the mornings. Most of my mornings consisted of sleeping in and waiting until noon to begin my life among the living.

Among the living....

What a thought.

For the past week my mornings had been diluted. Sleep here, sleep there. There had been so much chaos in my life, I had begun to believe that I had no need to sleep. Jacob had kept me so busy, my head had been spinning. Between the date, the murder causing me to stay at Jacob's late and everything else in between, above and below, my need for sleep just passed me by.

But I felt alive now, like I had slept for a week straight. If Edward hadn't come along I would probably still be a zombie. Ghosting through my days unfeeling, unseeing. I thought it funny how his presence still enabled me to rest more peacefully and deeply.

Jacob had left me the night before last to fall asleep on my own, he had left me in tears after his scene of whatever it was. I was still furious with him for having tried to push me into something that he and I had both known we didn't need at that point. Neither of us still need to be in something serious, let alone with each other. His attempt to push me into a relationship with him has just pushed me further away from him. But I knew I would still forgive him, just not yet. Not until I had everything sorted out. For the time being, we would, could only be friends. He owed me some major apologies for what happened. He had known how I had felt before he even asked me. We had been through that conversation before and had both agreed that we would let things happen naturally, but only if that was what was supposed to happen. Neither of us wanted anything to be, or feel forced.

I sighed out loud and tried clearing my mind. The grass felt like a comfy pillow surrounding my head. It wasn't hard like Edward's arms or hairy like Jacob's. I laughed to myself at my comparisons. But it was the truth. Wasn't it?

My mind filtered back to when I used to come to this meadow. It had always been a pleasant place. A place to spend time alone with someone special. Even after he had left, I'd come here in search of him. From then on, it had been a place to call my own, my own private location where no one could find me. A place to sort out my thoughts and compose myself. This meadow would always have meaning to me. It would always be my happy place, even if I couldn't find one within my own self.

I rolled over to my side and found a wildflower growing all by it's lonesome. _Hmm_. I looked around it noticing it's surroundings, everything around it willed it to live, but yet brought it no joy. It looked so lonely yet so full of life, with only the elements of nature to disturb it. It kind of reminded me of myself, alone with so many issues, in the middle of nowhere. I reached up and picked it from it's stem and held it my hand, examining it.

I began pulling off the petals, one by one.

"He loves me..."

"He loves me not..."

"He loves me..."

I stared at the petals in thought as they fell to the ground. I glanced back up at the flower noticing there were only three petals left.

"I love him..."

"I love him not..."

I reached for the final petal when a voice came out of nowhere startling me. "You love him?" it asked.

I sat up and turned around realizing it was Edward. I should have known that voice anywhere. I wasn't expecting anyone to show up here, let alone him. I guess I wasn't used to the fact that he had come back to Forks yet.

I quickly fumbled for an explanation for the old-fashioned game I was playing with the flower. "I uh...I was uh...just...looking at this um...flower here...and..."

Edward laughed and moved to my side, sitting down next to me. "You don't have to explain yourself Bella, It's okay...really."

A rush of blood flooded my cheeks causing my gaze to turn towards the flower in my hand. "I was just passing the time I guess." I said, embarrassed.

Having Edward back in this meadow with me brought back a lot of feelings. Feelings that I had fought so hard to push away and deal with while he was gone. But at the same time I was happy that he was here, he had brought a peacefulness with him that I hadn't had in a long time.

I was still lost in my thoughts staring at the last petal on the flower when Edward reached over and gently pulled it off. "You love him?" he said again, softly. He let go of the petal and let it fall, both of us watching it as it blew towards Edward, then back to me, swaying side to side before eventually coming to a rest on the ground.

I laughed softly, the flower yet again reminding me of myself. So much back and forth in my life, I had no stability. My heart was as worn out as an old comfy shoe. I was comfortable with myself, but I had been run through the mud so many times, too many times. Even though I found myself enjoying Edward's presence right now, I still felt a little uneasy. I didn't know where we were headed and that scared me.

Edward's voice brought my eyes up to him, he was staring at me with so much intensity. It was as if he was reading my mind. But he couldn't and thank goodness for that.

"You never answered me." he stated, tilting his head and studying my expression.

I raised a brow in confusion. "Answer you what?"

"You never did say if you love him."

"Oh" I mumbled.

I _was_ thinking of him when I was picking off the petals of the flower, but I wasn't trying to determine if I loved him. I knew Edward and I both loved each other, so that wasn't much of a mystery that needed solving. I was just simply lost in thought, mesmerized by a single flower. But I didn't know if he thought I was talking about him or Jacob.

"When you say _him_?" I questioned, not having to finish the rest of the sentence for him to understand what I meant.

"Well," he paused. "I was hoping you were referring to me."

I nodded my head in confirmation. "Yes, that I was."

Edward leaned in towards me and took my chin in his hand, lifting it up so he could read my eyes. "Do you?" he asked.

"You mean do I love you?"

"Yes." he whispered. "Do you still love me?"

"Yes, I still lo--" Before I could even finish my sentence his lips were on mine. His hand moved up framing the side of my face as he pressed the tips of his fingers into my skin, kissing me so tenderly. His hard lips molded into mine and I surrendered, letting my lips move with his.

My heart began to pound against my chest as I let myself be temporarily suspended in the moment. For so long I had yearned for this one thing, and now here it was happening this very minute.

The corner of Edward's lip crooked up as he let out a soft moan. He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine. "What do I have to do Bella?"

"Wh...What do you mean?" I gasped.

"I need you to tell me what I have to do to earn you back." he said, his breath trembling, washing across my face.

I pulled away from him and turned my gaze to the ground. My mind wasn't right, this wasn't something I could think about right now, I couldn't even think straight after his kiss. I knew that if I let myself falter now and give in, that he would never truly understand how much he had hurt me. I wasn't out to hurt him or make him pay. I just needed him to fully understand.

"I don't know Edward." I said, my voice shaking.

I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was sad. His face had lost that passion that I had just seen when we kissed. He was sitting with one leg laying bent underneath the other that sat firm footed on the ground. His face was sparkling from the scattered rays of the sun.

He raised his head and caught me staring at him and smiled, his eyes softened. "I love you Bella."

"I love you too," I said, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. "But you just have to make things right Edward." I looked up at him and tried to smile, but it wouldn't reach my eyes. "When you make things right between us, I'll be here waiting for you." I promised.

Edward nodded. "I understand," he said, "But you have to tell me what I need to do."

It was then that I realized that there wasn't anything I wanted him to do for me. But, it was something that he had to do, and I still even under that realization, didn't know what it was. Something just told me that it was something he had to figure out for himself.

"It's not something that I can tell you, I think it's more of something that you need to figure out for yourself. You're the one that left, so you're the one that has to do it."

"But do what?"

"I guess that's something you need to ask yourself, I'm sure you'll know it when you find the answer. I'm sure we both will." I said.

Edward let his eyes fall to the ground. He began picking out random blades of grass and pulled them from their roots in deep thought. The wind would gust from time to time as we sat, and I would pick up his sweet scent as it drifted by, letting it make my head spin. I closed my eyes and let it engulf my senses. I sat silently for a while in my own little world, enjoying the moment, letting a smile cross my face in contentment. I was here with Edward and that was all that mattered. Even though things were still not right between us, it was all I could ask for. Just having him with me was enough for right now.

My mind ended up drifting back to Jacob. I wondered to myself what he was doing at this exact moment. If he was missing me as much as I was him, if he even regretted what he had done the night before last, or if he had truly given up on me, on our friendship.

Just as my mind began to drift onto something different. Edward's voice once again brought me from my thoughts.

"I'd give anything right now to know what you're thinking." he said sweetly.

I opened my eyes and focused on his perfectly chiseled face, taking in each angle, recording in my mind each and every line of definition. He was picture perfect, smiling at me as he watched me take him in, his golden eyes boring into mine.

"You've eaten!" I said cheerfully, thankful that he had found some time to hunt.

"Yeah, I spent pretty much most of the morning hunting. It's been forever since I had anything to eat."

"And why is that, weren't there any animals where you were?" I asked, oblivious to the fact.

He thought about his answer carefully for a moment before answering me. "No, there were animals, I just wasn't in the mood to eat."

I nodded realizing what he meant and I didn't want to press the issue any further. If not for me, then for the both of us.

I was happy that Edward was finally taking care of himself. When I had last seen him his eyes had been so dark, almost black. The dark circles that had been around his eyes made it look like as if someone had punched him. I was thankful that he had eaten though, heaven knows I wouldn't have been able to catch and bring the animals to him, forcing him to eat. That would have surely been a sight to see.

I was just thankful period that Edward had shown up, at least we had made some progress. And I was happy to know that I had one problem of mine solved, and that was figuring out how to have Edward make things up to me. We both knew now, that it was going to have to be something for him to figure out. Now that I had this crossed off my list, the next issue to tend to would be Jacob. If we were going to work things out, or not.

Edward turned to me with a curious look about his face. "I have a question to ask you."

"Another one?" I teased.

He nodded and laughed softly. "Yes." His face became serious as it twisted with his words. "Do you have feelings for Jacob?"

I shook my head and scoffed. "Feelings...hmm." I said. "I like Jacob as a friend, But..." my thoughts carried me off to my decision about not wanting anything more with him.

"But...what?" Edward ask, waiting patiently.

"But," I said. "If he keeps trying to push me into a relationship, then we won't be anything at all. Ever." I snipped.

Edward thought about this for a moment as he shifted his weight on the ground, leaning to one side. He did this purely out of habit, not need.

"Of course I wouldn't even dream of pushing you into anything you didn't want Bella, but what If I tried for us to have a relationship again?"

I smirked at his carefully chosen words. "Well then, I guess you would be just trying, wouldn't you?" I teased again. "But like I said before, things just have to be right between us, and I think we'll be okay."

"So," he hesitated. "What are we now, where do we stand?"

"What do you mean where do we stand?"

He raised a brow and licked his bottom lip, again out of pure habit not necessity. "I mean, are we still lovers or... just friends?...maybe even enemies? Which is it?" he asked. "I only want what you need Bella, you have to tell me." he begged.

"Well, maybe we can be friends with benefits!" I said, playfully.

"Bella!" he said, his breath hitching. "You know I...we can't do that." His lowered his eyes to the ground in defeat. "Is that what you want me to do to make things right between us?" he asked softly. "I don't want to hurt you, I believe I've already done enough to cause you harm."

I laughed, shaking my head. "I was only playing with you Edward, I don't want you thinking we have to be intimate in order for us to be a couple again, I was only just teasing."

Edward let out a sigh of relief. "Yeah, it wouldn't be the first time you've teased me." he said, as a devious grin flashed across his face.

"Edward!" I said, laughing and playfully swatted his arm.

I let the laughter fade before becoming serious again, answering his previous question. "I think that honestly, we're friends right now."

He looked up at me in question, his eyes weakened by my words. "So does that mean that I can't kiss you, or hold you at night like I used to?"

I sighed, and let my thoughts run wild. I knew I wouldn't mind having him hold me at night, and I surely wouldn't mind his kisses. But that would mark me as his, as us being a couple again. And I didn't want to send him the wrong message. I was trying to figure out how to have all of this, to give him what he wanted and what I needed without it crossing the line I had drawn.

"I think we can manage that, but I don't want it to mean that we're together again, if that makes any sense. I don't want you to gain any false hope from it. And I especially don't want you to think that I'm using you."

"No, Bella. I would never think of it that way. It's something that _I'm_ asking for...for me. And you're being generous enough to give it to me." he paused. "It's all I can ask of you, nothing more. I actually don't have the right to ask that." he said earnestly, trying to force a smile, thankful for what I was giving him.

I smiled and reached out to touch his hand, he was trembling. Mostly from the hurt, and it made my heart sink. To think that I could be such a heartless person and bring so much agony to one person. But who was I to speak. There was enough agony going around for everybody to share. Here I was being pushed by Jacob to be in a relationship, when we had promised each other there would be nothing more unless we both wanted it, and here was Edward wanting to be more than friends with me after he'd left me to fend for myself in the woods. Was I supposed to forgive and forget? Or was I suppose to shun them both and move on? I didn't really know at this point. Nothing I chose right now seemed right. Maybe if I spent some more time getting all of this figured out, I would finally come to a healthy conclusion. Hopefully something healthy for all of us. I wanted an answer to all my problems that would make everyone happy, because I didn't want anyone to suffer. I knew I would run myself into the ground trying to attempt it, but I had no other options. Jacob was my best friend...I think. And Edward was my heart.

In the end, as the saying goes, nothing else matters. There were two things I was sure of. One, I loved Edward and wanted things to work out, but only if he could find what it is that he needs to do to make things right. And two, Jacob and I needed to have a serious discussion about what had transpired between us and get things figured out.

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**Chapter End Notes:** Thank you once again for reading!! Don't forget to leave me a review!! Also, if you have any stories of your own, send me a line so I can support you as well!! Thanks!! :)

**Influence for this Chapter:** Song 'Torn' by Natalie Imbruglia

**Coming Up**.... Chapter 12 'Debate' Bella finally has her discussion with Jacob! How will it go? Will he finally tell her the truth?


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author Notes:** I wanted to give a quick shout out to **BellaLuna27**. She has been an awesome reviewer and keeps me inspired to crank these chapters out!! Make sure you go to her page and show some big love and support her story!! Thanks!!

**Story Notes: **Bella finally makes up her mind to contact Jacob, how well will it go? Also...find out who surprises her with a visit!

"_There is always a multitude of reasons both in favor of doing a thing and against doing it. The art of debate lies in presenting them; the art of life lies in neglecting ninety-nine hundredths of them."_

_~Mark Rutherford~_

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**Chapter 12 :::Debate:::**

The moment I walked into my house I heard Charlie's voice bellowing out, and Billy laughing. I cringed but went into the living room and stood behind my Dad's chair to see what he was yelling about.

"Hi Bella." Billy said, and raised a hand in hello, his eyes studying me suspiciously.

I forced out a half smile and waved back. "Hi" I muttered, and quickly turned my attention back to Charlie.

He was sitting in his recliner watching a football game or, _games_ I should say, on TV. His feet were crossed at the ankles and propped up on the foot rest. In his right hand he had the remote, furiously shaking it at the television as he quickly flipped back and forth between channels, and he had what seemed to be a, _chicken bone?_ in the other hand. Yes, I did say a chicken bone. My father; a college educated - grown ass man, the Police Chief of Forks who had duly sworn to uphold the law and protect the citizens to keep _us_ sane and safe, did indeed have... a chicken bone in his hand, waving it wildly in the air chanting.

"Lucky lucky chicken bone!" Charlie shouted. "Lucky lucky chicken bone!"

I raised a brow in confusion, but more in amusement. "Uh, Dad. What on earth are you doing?"

I glanced over at Billy who just shrugged his shoulders and laughed.

Charlie turned to me with a serious expression on his face. "I'm checking the scores Bella, The guys and I at work are playing a football pool and I'm in the lead so far!" he said, excited.

"Okay....but that's not what I'm worried about." I said, trying to contain my laughter. "Of all things, why do you have a chicken bone in your hand?" I asked.

"Oh!" Charlie said and brought his hand down to look at the bone in his hand. "It's my lucky chicken bone Bells!." he proclaimed. "It helps my teams win!" he said, beaming up from his chair with confidence. He turned back to the television to give another quick shout at it. "Now go on and play before you hurt the vibe!"

My jaw dropped as I twitched it to one side. "Uh, play?...um...hurt the vibe?" I asked, bewildered. But Charlie never answered me, he just kept fussing at the game on the television as if the players could hear him.

I knew it, my Dad had officially lost it. And here I was not too long ago, thinking that I was the one that might be in possible need of professional help. At least now I knew it was hereditary.

I laughed and shook my head as I walked out of the living room and muttered. "Only you Dad, only you..."

I made my way into the kitchen to fix myself something to eat. I had spent my morning with some entertaining individuals. Which, in their own ways, were doing a great job of making me feel like I truly _was_ the only normal one around here. Between Edward asking me to let him torture himself by curling up with me at nighttime, and with Charlie and that chicken bone of his, I thought I was doing pretty good. Oh, and I can't forget to include Jacob's unnatural, sudden need of wanting me to be his girlfriend.

"Hey Bells!" Charlie called from the living room.

I yelled back playfully. "What do you want old man?"

"I forgot to tell you that Jacob called this morning!"

"Did he leave a message?" I asked, shocked.

"Nope! He called while I was gone to the store!"

"Okay, thanks Dad!" I said, not wanting to question him further with Billy around.

I quickly put my plate into the sink and washed it up, then put the last of the beer that Charlie had sitting out into the refrigerator.

Charlie called out to me again. "Oh Bella?"

"Yeah Dad?" I blurted back.

"I'm not old!...I'm _mature_!" he said, trailing off in laughter with Billy joining in.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Funny Dad...real funny!"

I could hear Charlie and Billy bantering between each other as I made my way up the stairs to my bedroom. I was still surprised that Jacob had called, but what he had called for I had no clue. I knew he still had to be mad at me. But then again, maybe he was just trying to reach out and apologize, to set things right between us.

I pulled my cell phone out of my back pocket and flopped down on my bed, stretching out across the width of it. I debated on whether or not to call Jacob back. I didn't even know if I was ready to talk to him yet, but if he really was trying to apologize, then I at least needed to give him that. I know_ I_ would want the opportunity to do so, if I had hurt someone that I truly cared about.

I held my arm out away from me on the bed, and absentmindedly flipped the phone open and closed, over and over again in my hand. I knew I needed to call Jacob back, even Edward had said so, which was strange. Edward had told me before leaving the meadow this morning that I really needed to work things out with Jacob, that I needed to sit down and find out what was on his mind. That was so unlike Edward, who in the past, didn't like me being around Jake. Maybe he knew something I didn't, maybe he knew that Jacob was truly hurt and felt bad for him. I shook my head, no...there had to be something else.

With the flick of my wrist, I threw my phone onto the bed and watched it land between my pillows. I pulled myself off of the bed and began pacing back and forth. I thought about _not_ calling Jake back, maybe it was too soon, I was sure we needed some more time to cool off. Especially Jacob, he had left here in such a fury, there was no way he could _just_ be fine by now. I knew he had to still be upset about me refusing to take our relationship any further.

I turned and glanced toward my pillows where my cell phone was now hidden. I wrung my hands together and continued pacing. I didn't know why he didn't try to call my cell phone as well, it was unlike him to not call both. Then again, he could have simply been trying to call Charlie and not me.

No, what would he want with Charlie? That didn't make any sense so I crossed off that theory.

I just had to quit analyzing this. Another bad habit of mine, I over-analyzed everything. That is something that I needed to leave for Edward to do, he was of course famous for that.

I rolled my eyes, more at my own self than anything. I realized how ridiculous I was being. It wasn't going to kill me to call Jacob back. After all, at least he had made an attempt to contact me, so I could at least do the right thing and return his call.

I went over to my bed and pulled my cell phone out from between the pillows. I knew Jacob was home alone, being Billy was here, so at least I didn't have to worry about him answering the phone. I flipped it open and promptly dialed Jacob's number, sitting down on the bed to wait impatiently.

Jacob answered before the first ring even finished. "Hello?"

"Jake, hey...it's me Bella." I said nervously.

"I know..." he said,

_Click _ ….. The phone went dead.

My jaw dropped as I pulled my phone in front of me to stare at it in shock.

"Did you just hang up on me Jacob Black?" I said aloud to my phone, pissed.

I couldn't believe that he had just hung up on me. _What the hell was that about?_ I thought to myself. I absolutely, and in no way, shape, or form deserved that. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. I was almost in my right mind to drive over to his house and chew him out. This was truly unbelievable, I was livid that he would do such a thing to me.

I immediately decided to call him back, he was going to hear it from me, that is...if he stayed on the phone long enough to hear it. I flipped the phone open and dialed the numbers, punching them forcefully with my index finger, pushing the pads of the keys almost through the phone's key pad.

_Ring_

"Come on Jake, answer!."

_Ring_

"Answer you hairy dog!"

_Ring_

"Ugh! Pick up the phone you mangy mutt!"

_Ring_

"Fine! Ignore me!" I slammed my phone shut and threw it behind me on the bed.

Now he was avoiding my phone call! Why would he even call me, if he didn't want to talk to me in the first place? I shook my head and fell back onto the bed, wanting to cry, but didn't know if it was worth it or not.

Suddenly, a knock at the front door caused me to sit right back up. I jumped up and ran to the window, looking out. There sat a silver Volvo, right behind my truck, I froze.

"Shit!!" I spat frantically. "Shit Shit Shit!!" Edward was here and I didn't know how well this was going to go down with Charlie _or _Billy. This was definitely not a good thing! I hadn't even had the time to tell Charlie he was back yet, I had to think fast.

I hurriedly turned and ran from my bedroom, almost tripping over my own feet as I flew down the stairs towards the front door. I quickly pushed my way past Charlie who was walking to the door and opened it myself, hoping to delay the confrontation that I knew was about to occur between Edward and Charlie. I knew Edward would respect my Dad regardless, but I couldn't control what would come out of Charlie's mouth.

I let out the biggest sigh of relief known to man, when I saw who was standing there, smiling away all perky and happy. It was my best friend in the whole world. It was Alice!

"Alice!" I shouted happily, jumping up and down as I reached out and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tightly.

"Oh my! Bella! You sure are happy!" Alice said, laughing.

I pulled away from her and looked her up and down, smiling ear to ear. "Because I've missed you!" I said, ecstatic. "And you look beautiful! You haven't changed a bit!"

Alice beamed her beautiful smile and glanced over my shoulder at Charlie, who had been watching the delightful reunion the whole time.

"Hello Charlie! It's good to see you again!" Alice piped in her angelic voice, and she bounced past me making her way in, giving Charlie a hug.

I turned to watch and giggled softly to myself as I watched Charlie's cheeks and ears turned red, he had always been smitten by her.

He hesitantly wrapped his arms around Alice and patted her on the back. "Well, it's good to see you too Alice." he said, not sure of how to react to her sudden burst of affection towards him.

He pulled Alice away from him and looked down at her with a raised brow. "My you're awfully cold, doesn't that heater work in that expensive car of yours?" he asked.

I froze for a moment wondering how Alice was going to play that off, when I heard Billy snicker in the living room.

Alice playfully dismissed his words with a flick of her wrist. "Oh of course it does silly!" and flashed him her award-winning flirty smile, fluttering her eyelashes.

That was all it took, and Charlie was instantly putty in her hands. "Okay, you girls go do whatever it is that you do, I've got a game to finish watching." and he turned around and walked back into the living room.

On our way up the stairs both Alice and I heard Billy blurt out. "Maybe you should have Jacob come over here and check that heater out for her." Alice and I both stopped and glanced at each other. "Huh" was all Charlie said.

We turned and quickly darted into my bedroom as I shut the door behind us. "Ugh! I can't believe Billy would suggest that!" I spat, furiously.

"Was he talking about the same Jacob that Edward has told me about?" Alice asked, keeping her voice low.

I nodded. "Yeah, same one." I bit at my lower lip in thought before blasting Alice with a barrage of questions. "When did you speak to Edward? When did you get here? Why do you have Edward's car?"

Alice laughed and shook her head. "Wow Bella, slow down would you?" she swooped to my side and grabbed my hand, pulling me over to the bed. We both sat down as she began to answer my questions one by one.

"I spoke to Edward this morning, after he saw you in the meadow." she said softly.

"He told you we were in the meadow?" I asked, curious.

Alice sighed, a human habit she had picked up to fit in, same as Edward. "Well, I saw it before it happened, but he just confirmed it for me." she said, smiling more to herself than me. "But like I said, I did see him after that, when I followed Carlisle in his car, so he could bring Edward's car back."

I sat quietly for a moment trying to take in and process what Alice had just told me. "So, Carlisle is here?"

"Yes, he is!" Alice said happily.

I shook my head, confused. "Is..he here to stay or what?"

"Yes, Bella he's staying....All of us are staying!" she chirped. "Isn't that great!"

My face lit up, I was so excited I reached out and wrapped my arms around Alice hugging her again.

"Alice! That means you're staying too!" I cried happily.

Alice pulled away from me, smiling. "I figured you would be happy about that!"

"Oh! I am! But what made you all decide to come back?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

Alice turned and stretched out on the bed as she spoke. "We all came back to support Edward." she said. "My brother needed us and so, here we are!"

"He needed you? Edward did? For what?" I quickly questioned, shaking my head.

"Wow Bella, you and your twenty questions! What's with you today?" Alice said playfully.

"I'm sorry Alice." I said, a bit embarrassed. "I just wanted to know what was going on. Edward has only been back for two days, and all of a sudden the whole family is moving back!"

Alice sat up in surprise and looked at me suspiciously. "Two days?" she asked, incredulously. "I..hmm...I guess I need to speak to my brother." she said as she furrowed her brows in confusion.

"What's going on?" I asked, becoming frustrated with her vagueness.

She reached out with her hand, patting my knee. "Oh don't be silly Bella, nothing is going on. I just haven't had the time to really sit down and talk with Edward, that's all it is... you worry wart!" she said reassuringly.

"Uh huh, sure." I muttered.

With the feeling in the room becoming uncomfortable, Alice quickly changed the subject. "I have a great idea!" she said enthusiastically.

"And what is that?" I asked.

"Why don't you come over and stay the night with me! That way we can catch up and I don't have to sneak around Charlie!"

I squinted my eyes and studied her expression, suspicious. "And why would I come stay at your house with Edward there?" I asked, digging for her motive.

"Bella! This has nothing to do with Edward! I just want to spend some time with you, that's all!" she said, trying to sway me. "I'll even do the dirty work and ask Charlie if you can come over myself!"

"Fine!" I spat playfully. "But will Edward be there?"

Alice turned her gaze towards the bed. "Yes" she admitted. "But I'll tell him to stay away from you if that's what you want."

I sighed and folded my hands into my lap. "It's okay, I'm not going to do that to him in his own house. Besides, we're getting along, so I'm sure it won't be so bad."

Alice smiled tenderly, her amber eyes dancing with question. "You still love my brother don't you?"

"Of course I do, and he already knows that. We've already discussed it." I declared.

"Well, if it helps any...he certainly loves you. He always has."

I nodded in confirmation. "I know, Alice. Now stop trying to play cupid." I said, laughing to break my sudden uneasiness.

"Alright," she laughed, and stood up reaching out her hand to pull me off the bed. "Come on, walk me out would you?"

I nodded and followed Alice down the stairs, stopping directly behind her as she stood in the living room.

"Hi Charlie!" her sweet voice rang out. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm leaving!"

Charlie turned around in his recliner to face Alice, and I noticed that Billy was watching them out of the corner of his eye.

"Alright... Bye Alice, Thanks for stopping by! It was good seeing you again!"

"Thanks Charlie, It was good seeing you again as well!" Alice chimed, as she turned and made her way to the front door. She quickly stopped and winked at me as she spun around, flashing her eyes back to Charlie.

"Hey! I've got a great idea!" Alice chirped, feigning the notion. "Why don't you come stay the night with me Bella so we can play catch up! We'll even go shopping tomorrow if you want, after all... I didn't have a chance to buy you a present for graduation! Please!" she pleaded.

Alice had caught me off guard, I had assumed she wasn't going to ask after all. "I uh..." I turned to look at Charlie who was listening but remained glued to the television. "Do you mind Dad?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

Charlie waved his hand in the air as he answered. "Yep, go ahead...do what you do!" and went back to his game.

I turned and look at Alice in bewilderment, I was confused at Charlie's lack of concern. He wasn't usually like this, and it had me a bit worried.

Alice smiled in triumph. "Well, I'll be back shortly to pick you up!"

"Sure." I said, as I walked her out.

As soon as I shut the door behind me, Alice spun around and gave me a quick hug. "I'm so happy! We're going to have a lot of fun tonight catching up!" she pealed.

I laughed at her enthusiasm. Alice was always the firecracker of the bunch, the infinite busy body, she had always bounced around.

"Yes, I'm sure we'll have loads of fun!" I said, pretending to be excited. I _was_ excited to see Alice, but my stomach turned at how my being at her house for the night would affect Edward. Not to mention seeing the rest of the family. This was going to be a kind of odd reunion in ways.

"Oh don't be a party pooper Bella!" Alice said, furrowing her brows feigning sadness, it was as if she could read my mind. "Edward will be just fine...he's a big boy!' she said reassuringly as she winked.

Just then, Alice turned and glanced towards the road. "Hmm.." she said, hesitating. "It seems you have a visitor coming."

I looked out to the road. "Who is it? Edward?" I asked, frantically.

"Nope" she said, popping her lips on the 'p'. "Edward doesn't _stink_!"

As soon as Alice spoke her last word, Jacob came around the corner on his motorcycle.

"Oh no," I said, dreading the confrontation that was about to happen.

I noticed that Jacob was eyeballing the Volvo with fury. "You better go Alice." I suggested.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:** Thank you for reading!! Please don't forget to leave a review!! I appreciate all thoughts and opinions!! Thank You!! :)

**Influence for this Chapter:** Song 'I'm Out of My Mind' by James Blunt

**Coming Up**... Chapter 13 "Confrontation' Bella has her "talk" with Jacob...and spends the night with Alice...How will it all go?


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes: **Bella has her "talk" with Jacob...and heads over to Alice's house...How will it all go?

_Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not easy._

_~Aristotle~_

* * *

**Chapter 13 :::Confrontation:::**

Alice turned to me and flashed her angelic smile."Why should _I_ leave Bella? I'm not scared of him!"

I sighed in defeat and looked from Alice to Jacob. I caught Jacob's rabid expression drop from his face when he saw that Alice was here. I assumed that he had been expecting to see Edward standing next to me instead, it was the only explanation that seemed reasonable at the moment.

Jacob parked his bike and made his way over to me, stopping at my side as he turned to face Alice.

"I heard that you needed your heater fixed." Jacob said, with a sarcastic tone.

Alice looked to me then back to Jacob. "No! It works just fine thanks!" she spat, wrinkling her nose.

I remained facing Alice, but spoke to Jacob without looking at him. "Charlie felt how cold Alice was and thought something was wrong with her heater. Alice explained it away, but I think your Dad pushed the issue." I snipped.

Jacob laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, you can't blame him for giving me a heads up!." he said nonchalantly. "And I think it's obvious that you needed me here to protect you from this..." he pointed at Alice, "This leech!"

Alice hissed as I spun around and looked up at Jacob, furious. "Excuse me?" I spat, as I poked my finger in Jacob's chest, emphasizing each word. "You!...don't come over to my house uninvited, and run your mouth to my best friend!" I fumed, pulling my hand back and folded my arms across my chest.

"Your best friend?" Jacob asked, incredulously.

"Yes! I'm her _best friend _you deranged dog!" Alice snipped back at Jacob, forcing me out of the argument.

Jacob cocked his head slightly to the side in amusement as he bowed his chest out and folded his arms across it. "If you're her best friend, then why did you leave her without one word? Are her feelings not important to you?"

"That is none of your business you idiot!" Alice hissed. "I don't have to explain anything to you!"

"Oh, I'm sorry..." Jacob said, feigning concern. "I guess she was just another one of you and your bloodsucking brother's teething toys!" he spat back, taunting her.

"JACOB!" I shouted, balling my fists up at my sides in anger. "Stop this now!!" I demanded.

"Stop what? What am I doing wrong?" he said smirking, raising his hands into the air pretending to be innocent of any wrong doing.

"Just leave Jacob!" I ordered, but he didn't budge.

"No, it's okay Bella." Alice said softly. "I was just leaving anyway, I'll be back to get you in a couple of hours okay?" She flashed a grin as she made her way to the car, waving behind her.

I nodded in silence, still furious with Jacob. I couldn't believe that Billy had told him to come over, knowing Alice was here. But that was his whole point. And now here stood Jacob, after everything he had done to me, acting as if nothing had ever happened, pretending to care and insulting my company.

"Going somewhere with her?" Jacob asked, trying to casually inquire about my plans.

I rolled my eyes at his audacity. "That is none of your business Jacob." I spat.

"I think it is my business!"

"Excuse me?" I said incredulously. "What I do with my friends, is none of your business!"

"If it involves a leech, then it is my business Bella!"

"Would you stop saying that?"

"Saying what?....leech?"

"Don't you think you should be going inside? I don't think Billy and Charlie have been insulted yet today, you wouldn't want to leave them out!"

"Bella," Jacob said softly. "Would you please stop?" He reached out and wrapped his massive hand around my forearm.

"No Jacob!" I snipped, pulling away from his grip. "I am sick of your nasty attitude! You can't just come here insulting me and my company and expect me to be okay with it all!"

I turned and went inside shutting the door behind me, leaving Jacob behind standing on the steps. I glanced into the living room as I slowly walked by and saw Billy sitting on the couch smirking. He turned and looked up at me just in time for me to shoot him an evil glare, he dropped his smirk in surprise and quickly went back to watching the game. I laughed out loud as I climbed up the stairs to my bedroom.

Yes, I was being mean, on purpose. I was at my limit with people sticking their noses where it didn't belong. I was tired of people thinking they could make my decisions for me or interfere in my personal business. The only person I owed anything to was myself, and Charlie of course, I couldn't leave him out of my insane equation.

I pulled out my overnight bag and packed my things for my stay with Alice. I wasn't really paying much attention to the clothes I put in it, knowing Alice, she would end up tossing what I brought and insisting on restocking my closet with a new wardrobe.

I laid down on the bed and buried my face in my pillow. I wanted to scream so bad, like I had done in the meadow, but knew everyone here would hear me, so I settled for a loud groan instead and a few random outbursts of incoherent babbling.

"Who are you talking to?" the deep voice whispered, startling me.

I rolled over and looked up at Jacob. "Ugh! It's you." I said, rolling my eyes and picked up the pillow, covering my face with it.

"Who else would it be?"

"Who cares!" I muttered through my pillow.

"I care." Jacob said.

"No you don't!"

"Yes I do!"

"Shut up Jacob!"

"No!"

I pulled the pillow off of my face and hurled it at him, missing.

Jacob laughed at me, and climbed onto the bed straddling me. He supported himself with his knees and palms, and lowered his face within inches of mine.

I immediately tried to get up but he just pushed me back down. "Bella, stop!" he said softly.

"No Jacob, get off of me!" I demanded, and pushed at his chest, unsuccessfully moving him.

"No, I'm not letting you up until you hear me out!" he ordered. "Now stop being a bitch for one minute and listen to what I have to say!" he spat, becoming annoyed with my resistance.

My eyes widened in shock. "Did you just call me a _bitch_ Jacob Black?" I asked incredulously.

He nodded in confirmation, laughing at my reaction. "Yes, I did!"

"Oh no you didn't!" I spat. "_You!_ Are an _asshole_!"

Jacob let out his low throaty laugh, shaking his head. "Good! Now we're even. Do you feel better now?"

"What is your problem Jacob?" I began, giving in to his hold, realizing that he had no intentions of hurting me. "First you are furious with me because I won't be your girlfriend, then you hang up on me today! And, that's not including you insulting my best friend!" I said, more hurt than angry.

Jacob shook his head in disbelief. "I didn't hang up on you Bella. My phone died, so don't go getting your panties all in a wad and start assuming that I'm going to waste my time trying to piss you off!"

"Oh." I muttered, half embarrassed.

"And by the way, I'm sorry for what happened the other night. My emotions just got the better of me, and I had to leave." Jacob said, lowering his eyes in humility. "I didn't mean to hurt you Bella."

"Apology accepted." I said casually, still angry with him.

Jacob seemed miffed that I had accepted his apology the way I did, but he still seemed to be thankful that he had received one nonetheless.

"What about you insulting Alice?" I quickly brought up, before he could change the subject. "Are you going to apologize for that too?"

Jacob sighed and apologized to me. But I wanted to make him work harder for it. "I want you to apologize to Alice as well, and then I'll forgive you." I smirked at my statement. He had thought that he was going to come in here and apologize, making everything better. It would have worked until he had decided to insult Alice.

"Are you serious? You want me to apologize to Alice?" Jacob asked incredulously.

"Yes, that's exactly what I want." I stated.

"Fine!" Jacob spat, shaking his head.

I flashed a devious smile, having won this round. "She'll be here shortly to pick me up, so you'll have your opportunity then."

Jacob nodded. "So where is she taking you?"

"I'm going over to her house to spend the night."

"Her house?" he asked. "Is she back to stay or just visiting?"

"She's here to stay, and so is the rest of her family."

Jacob flashed a look of fury as he pressed his lips together, then quickly shook it off with an expression of shock emerging in it's place. "Wow, the whole family?" he said, making more of a statement than a question.

I nodded and observed him carefully, he appeared to be worried about something.

Jacob focused his gaze on his hand, seeming unsure of how to proceed with the subject. "So uh, is _he_ going to be there?

"Edward?...Yes, he's there too." I said casually, not giving him a direct answer.

"So how long have they been there?" Jacob asked, digging for more information.

"Well, Edward came back two nights ago, and the rest of his family came back this morning."

Jacob eyed me with curiosity. "Oh so, he came back two nights ago huh?" he hesitated, searching for the right words. "So...have you spoken to him?"

I narrowed my eyes trying to figure out what Jacob was after. "Yes, we've spoken." I admitted.

"I assume you told him about me then?" Jacob asked, still propped up on his palms.

"Yes as a matter of fact I did." I said, and watched as Jacob became very still, his eyes locked onto mine. "He seems to think it's a good idea that I work things out with you. He even suggested that I sit down and listen to what you have to say, that you probably have a few things you need to get off of your chest."

Jacob raised a brow. "Oh really? How....considerate of him." he said sarcastically.

He looked over his shoulder at the window, then to the closed bedroom door, before finally resting his gaze on mine. "I do have something that I need to get off of my chest." he said softly.

"And what would that be?" I asked, becoming curious.

"This." he said, and leaned in forcing his lips onto mine, pushing his tongue into my mouth. I tried to pull away but he brought his hands up to my face, framing it, holding me in place. His kiss hardened and his tongue deepened the more I resisted. "Please stop fighting me Bella." Jacob whispered, as he attacked my lips again. Not wanting to fight anymore, I gave in and kissed him back. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair as he moved his lips down my jaw line and then delicately made his way down the side of my neck, lingering with each kiss. "Mmm" he moaned.

Jacob moved his left hand from my cheek, slowly caressing me with his fingertips as he made his way to my chest and cupped my breast into his hand. My eyes flew wide open in shock. "Jake!" I panted. "Stop!" and immediately began trying to push him away. Jacob grabbed me by my wrists and pulled my arms up over my head pinning them down.

"Jake Stop!" I begged. He ran his tongue up the side of my neck to my jaw line and opened his eyes to look at me. "No." he whispered. He then forced his lips back onto mine as he ran one hand down the length of my shirt and placed his hand underneath, sliding his palm against the skin of my stomach as he moved his way up towards my chest. "Jacob No!" I spat, gasping for air and began twisting my body to get away and pulling my hands out of his grip to push at his chest.

Jacob pulled away and looked at me. "What's wrong with you Bella?" he asked, annoyed.

"You are what's wrong with me Jacob! I asked you to stop and you didn't!" I paused, catching my breath. "I don't want to do this!" I snapped.

"You don't want to be with me?" Jacob said, offended.

"Not like this I don't!"

"Why not Bella?"

I shook my head and threw my hands up in the air, exasperated. "Because I'm not ready for something like that!"

Jacob turned and sat up on the edge of the bed. "You're not ready to be with _me_ that is!" he said, furiously.

"What?" I asked incredulously. "What are you implying Jacob?"

"I'm not implying anything." he said, shaking his head, then stood up and stomped out of the bedroom.

I sat up on my bed in shock, trying to process what all had just happened as I heard the front door open and close. I stood up and moved over to the window, looking out. I watched as Jacob climbed onto his bike and started it, he turned glancing up at me and then quickly drove off.

As I stood there trying to makes sense of Jacob's irrational behavior, the silver Volvo made it's way down my road and pulled into the driveway. The driver's side window rolled down, as Alice popped her head out and waved at me to come on. I laughed to myself, having knowledge of the fact that Alice knew I was standing here, she never ceased to amaze me.

I quickly grabbed my overnight bag and flew down the stairs. I passed by the living room without even stopping, shouting a quick "Bye Dad!" and went out the door.

Riding with Alice was actually a pleasant experience, it had been forever since I'd been driven down the highway at top speeds. Instead of my usual complaining in the past, I sat back and enjoyed it.

I leaned my head back in the seat and closed my eyes, taking in the aroma that hovered around me on the inside of the car, it smelled of Edward's sweet scent and fresh new leather. A cold shiver went down my spine as memories danced through my mind of the times I had ridden with Edward. It was quite strange, I had always found, how the tiniest bit of a scent could trigger such a broad span of memories.

I felt the car slowing down so I opened my eyes and sat up in my seat. I looked around and noticed we were pulling into Alice's driveway, and that's when my stomach started twisting into knots. It felt so odd being here again, it was like coming here for the very first time, but I didn't remember being this nervous. That's when I suddenly remembered that I had been with Edward here, the first time, not Alice. He had been the reason I was so calm.

I felt my pulse begin to race and Alice noticed, causing her to turn to me in concern. "Are you okay Bella?" she asked, as she pulled up behind Emmett's Jeep and put the car in park.

I tried to play it off and nodded, giving my best attempt at a sincere smile, but naturally, Alice didn't buy it.

"Bella, breathe!" Alice said, smirking.

I let my breath out that I didn't realize I had been holding in. I quickly moved my hand to my chest to help try and steady my breathing.

Alice pulled the keys out of the ignition and glanced back at me, her face was etched with worry more than concern this time. "Bella, why are you shaking so bad? What's wrong with you?"

"I..I don't know." I said, trying to figure it out myself. "I think I'm scared!"

"Scared of what? Silly!" she chirped, trying to make me feel more at ease.

I cast my eyes down towards my lap and wrung my hands together. "I guess I'm just scared of going back in there and seeing everyone again, what if they've changed their minds about me?" I said, nervously.

"For what reason would they change their minds about you?"

"Because all of you had to up and leave over me. All because _he_ didn't want to be around me!"

Alice shook her head and smiled. "Oh Bella, nobody thinks any different of you! We _all_ still love you very dearly!" she said, and took my hand into hers, squeezing it gently, reassuring me.

"And oh! By the way...You stink!" Alice said laughing, and wrinkled up her nose, waving her hand in the air as if to fan the smell away.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry Alice, I didn't even think about that!" I said, pulling my hair around to smell it, and coming up with nothing but the scent of vanilla. "I would've taken a shower but you pulled up right after Jacob left."

Alice let out a soft giggle. "It's okay, don't worry, you can take a shower here. It's not like we don't have soap and water!" she said playfully.

I laughed lightheartedly at her joke while I pulled my bag into my lap and turned to get out of the car.

Alice reached out and grabbed my wrist to stop me and I winced at her tight grip. "Wait." she said, as she turned and glanced at the house for a moment, she frowned and let out a sigh before returning her gaze to me.

"I need to talk to you about Jacob." she said, the tone of her voice uncertain.

I raised my brows in confusion. "What about him?" I asked.

Alice still had her fingers wrapped around my wrist and she looked down grabbing at my other hand pulling it to her.

"Alice..uh...what are you doing?" I asked, as I watched her pull my hands together side by side. She continued staring down at them, so I followed her gaze.

"What the...?" I said, shocked as I looked down at the bruises that had formed on my wrists.

"Why are these here Bella?" Alice demanded to know.

I shook my head not knowing what to say or how to say it. "I uh..uh.."

Alice's soft amber eyes hardened. "Quit stalling and tell me what he did to you!"

"I don't know...I..." I muttered. I was scared to tell her because I knew she would be pissed.

"Bella! Are you trying to protect _that dog_?" she said incredulously. "I know for a fact he did this to you! These weren't here when I left you!"

"Alice..._please_ don't do this!" I begged.

Suddenly, the door on my side swung open. I quickly spun around and looked up into the dark amber eyes of Emmett, he was by no means a happy vampire.

"Get out of the car Bella." Emmett demanded.

I shook my head in disbelief. "Wh...What?"

"Get out of the car!" he demanded again.

I quickly climbed out of the car almost tripping over my own feet. "Will someone please tell me what's going on?" I pleaded.

Alice came around to my side in my defense. "Emmett will you lay off?" she spat.

Emmett looked to Alice, then back to me. "Hold out your wrists please." he asked, a bit more calmer.

I quickly folded my arms across my chest hiding my wrists. "No! This has nothing to do with you Emmett!"

Emmett sighed and placed his hands on either side of my shoulders. "Listen Bella, I've always considered you as family, so if someone has hurt you, I'm going to hurt them!"

By the time Emmett had finished speaking, the rest of the family had made their way out to see what was going on, including Edward. Of course I knew they had been listening the whole time, it just unnerved me that we had to have an audience.

I didn't know if I was more humiliated by what Jacob had done or the scene that was now occurring. I covered my face with my hands and began sobbing. And that's when I heard all the gasps. _Shit!_ I had just shown every single one of them the bruises on my wrists when I had covered up my face.

I quickly tried to hide my wrists behind me, but the tears steadily streamed down my face and I became even more humiliated let alone confused, so I ran to the rear of the car and leaned against the trunk with my back to everyone. I buried my face in my hands again and just sobbed, wanting to go back home. "I should have never come here." I whispered to myself.

I felt ice cold fingers pulling my hands from my face, as a strange calm came over me. I opened my eyes and saw that it was Edward, but I continued looking down at the ground. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "I love you Bella." he whispered softly.

"I know." I whispered back. I felt him cringe when I didn't tell him that I loved him back, but I was too busy having a pity party for myself. I didn't think I could like anyone at this particular moment, not even myself.

Edward pulled away from me gently and lifted my chin to meet his gaze. I could feel nothing but eyes drilling into the back of my head, everyone was still standing there watching. I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, trying to let myself relax.

"I'm glad you came to visit." Edward said. "Even though it wasn't to see me, I'm still glad your here." he smiled, trying to reassure me it was okay to be here.

I shifted my weight feeling a little uncomfortable, not knowing what to say. "Uh, okay." I muttered.

Edward reached down and gently took my forearms in his hands. "Do you mind if I look?"

I shook my head. "No, go ahead"

He pulled my hands up between us and studied my wrists. He ran his icy fingers over the bruises and I winced. "I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?" he asked, worried.

"No, no...I'm fine." I tried to play it off once again, and of course he didn't believe me.

Edward let go of my hands and looked over at the rest of his family, then back to me.

"What happened Bella?" Edward demanded, but remained pleasantly calm, unlike Emmett.

I thought for a moment that I could make something up, or deny deny deny. But I knew that none of them would buy it being that Alice had already known it was Jacob. So, I spilled the beans so to speak and told Edward the entire truth.

"So, let me make sure I have this correct. You asked him to stop and he continued on by holding you down?" Edward asked incredulously, as hisses rang out behind me.

I nodded, embarrassed. The blood rushed to my cheeks causing them to burn. "But I sorta consented at first, so I can't blame him for it" I said in Jacob's defense.

Edward looked at me like I was crazy. "What do you mean you sort of consented? Either you did or you didn't. Which is it?" he asked.

I sighed, becoming annoyed. "Edward, I only consented because he wouldn't let me up! He told me to stop fighting him!" I shouted, and began to sob again. "Why is everyone making a big deal out of this!" I cried.

At that moment Carlisle walked around to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Bella, he disrespected you, that's why we're making a big deal out of it." He then looked up at Edward letting him read his thoughts, and I watched as Edward nodded.

Carlisle backed away and left us alone again while he began talking to the others. Edward pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me tightly. He whispered in my ear, "Don't worry, Jacob won't be doing this to you again, if he does I'll kill him." I nodded glad that the incident was finally coming to a close, happy that Edward was going to leave it alone.

I raised my head up to look as Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle came to wait by Edward's side. I turned and looked at Edward suspicious. "What's going on?" I asked.

Edward looked down into my eyes, his own eyes turning from liquid amber to steel. "I'm going to make things right." he whispered softly.

And with that he pulled away from me and the four of them took off running into the woods.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:** Thank you as always for reading!! Please leave me a review and let me know what you think so far! Any ideas on what the four Cullen's are up to??

**Coming Up**.... Chapter 14 'Loyalty' Bella finds out some information that makes her reconsider her distrust for Edward.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes**: Bella finds out some information that makes her reconsider her distrust for Edward.

* * *

_I'll be your wall of stone,  
When your troubles have no end,_

_I'll be the granite arms that hold you,  
When your heart has need to mend,_

_I'll be your rock to lean on,  
When your fears become too great,_

_I'll be the iron heart that loves you,  
When your soul has lost it's faith._

_My loyalty to you means nothing unless it has at its heart, the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.  
_

_~Excerpts from Edward's Journal~_

* * *

**Chapter 14 :::Loyalty:::**

A cold chill ran through my body as I realized that Alice, Esme and Rosalie were still standing behind me. I turned around and walked over to where they were gathered into a semi-circle beside the Volvo. Rosalie had her arms folded across her chest and glared at me with a sour expression. She reminded me of a two year old that had just been refused dessert before dinner.

I stood beside Alice who had stopped whispering once I began my walk over to them. She had been discussing something with Esme, and they both looked a little worried. "Where are they guys going?" I asked, actually to both of them, not caring who answered.

Alice flashed a look of uncertainty at Esme before turning to answer me. "They went to handle the situation with Jacob." she said, shoving her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.

Esme reached out and took my hand into hers, her beautiful smile was absolute perfection. "Bella sweetheart, we're worried about how you're handling everything."

"You're worried about me?" I said incredulously. "There's no need to worry about me, But I think we should be more worried about what's going to happen to Jacob right now."

A sharp scoff shot out from Rosalie as she flipped her brilliantly blonde hair over her shoulder. "My husband is out there because of you, and you're worried about Jacob?" she snapped, rolling her eyes.

"Rosalie, stop it." Esme ordered calmly. "That isn't what Bella meant." she turned to me raising a brow. "Now is it dear?"

I glanced from each one, finally stopping back on Esme. "I uh...No, not at all." I muttered, absolutely clueless.

Alice, sensing my distress, calmly put her arm around my shoulders and pulled me away, leading me to the house. "Come on, let's get inside and get this party started!" she chimed.

I didn't feel like joining in on Alice's sudden onslaught of excitement. My mind was elsewhere and I was worried about what was happening between Edward and Jacob, and no one was giving me an answer.

"So, are you going to tell me what Edward and the others are doing?" I asked Alice, hoping.

Alice laughed and picked up her pace. "Stop worrying about them Bella! They'll be just fine!" she promised.

Once inside, we made our way up the stairs to the second floor and I followed Alice into her bedroom.

"Come on in, I have something for you." Alice said, as she darted over to her over-sized closet and came flying back out with a pink gift box in her hand, holding it out to me.

I reached out and took it from her. "What is this?" I asked, wondering what she had bought this time.

Alice raised a brow and looked at me strangely. "It's a gift box silly!"

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "I know that Alice. I meant what is it? What's in it?"

"Open it and see!" she said playfully, as she twirled around in circles acting like a ballerina.

I started to open the box but stopped as I couldn't help but watch Alice and her odd behavior. "Uh...are you okay?" I asked, humorously.

Alice bent over laughing, then tiptoed over to me and pulled me down onto the floor with her. "Nope, not me!" she chirped. "I'm just happy is all!" she said, with her angelic smile. "Now open your gift!"

I did as Alice ordered me to and opened the box, peeling off the layers of carefully placed hot pink tissue papers. I pulled out a soft, charmeuse silk pajama set that was an elegant shade of gold, I remembered seeing the exact same color before and looked up at Alice's eyes and blushed.

Alice laughed at my embarrassment. "It matches our eyes doesn't it?" she asked, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Yes it does." I said, and pulled the rest of the set out holding it up to me. The top was long sleeved that began it's first button at the bottom of the v-neck. It had matching bottoms and a robe that wrapped around and tied.

"It's really nice Alice, thank you." I accepted graciously, knowing she would throw a fit if I dared to fuss about it.

Alice smiled and held her hands to her chest, as if to contain her excitement. "You're Welcome! I knew you would love it!" she proclaimed. "Now you don't have to wear those old ratty cotton pajamas you brought!"

"How did..." I began, planning to ask her how she knew I had them, but then realized it was Alice that I was talking to. I just shook my head and smiled.

"Okay! Now _that_ is settled, let's get you to your room and get you set up for the night!" Alice ordered, as she helped me gather my things and then we made our way upstairs to the third floor.

We walked into the guest bedroom and I sat my belongings down on an antique bench, that was strategically placed at the foot of a matching, wooden four-poster bed. Alice then introduced me to the over the top bathroom. It had a walk-in shower on one side that was large enough to park a car in, and a jacuzzi that sat in the corner on the other.

After being shown where everything was and saying my thank you's, Alice promptly left me alone so I could shower and dress for the night.

I was actually thankful to be alone, as I had endured too much excitement for one day and welcomed a relaxing hot shower. Having time for myself to collect my thoughts, I replayed all of the events that occurred since this morning. When my thoughts went to Jacob I glanced down at my wrists and I wrapped my fingers along the same marks, comparing the size of mine to Jacob's. This was the first time that I had actually taken a good look at them, and they were huge. I could understand why Alice and the others had thrown such a fit, it looked quite horrible. The bruises had finished turning and were black and blue, with a tint of red on the edges.

My thoughts then shifted to Edward, remembering his icy touch as he ran his fingers over my wrist. It had felt good, and it wasn't just the fact that he had soothed the soreness, but that it was his touch. I let my mind get carried away with my feelings for him and a cold shiver went through my body. I immediately reached over and turned the cold completely off, and adjusted the hot to the highest setting.

Despite everything that had happened today, I was still worried about what Edward had gone to say or do to Jacob. I couldn't imagine Carlisle or the others hurting him, but I also couldn't assume that all four were going just so they could have talk. I knew I wasn't the smartest human to grace the face of the earth, but I also wasn't as stupid to believe that talking was all that was happening. They all had been gone way too long now for that.

I think I was just more upset over the fact that no one wanted to tell me what they were doing. But I made up my mind to find out from Edward as soon as I saw him in the morning. This _was_ about me, so I did have a right to know.

I remembered that Edward had turned and glanced at me before he vanished into the woods with the others. He had seemed to be burdened with worry, but I could tell that it wasn't worry for himself, it was definitely meant for me, and that had me confused, which was nothing new. I searched my mind for an answer and came up empty.

I shook my head and ran my hands over my face, it was one of those things where you feel like you can wash away the tired, and come up refreshed. The hot water began to slowly fade so I quickly rinsed my hair and finished my shower.

I dried my hair and slipped into my new pajamas, then glared at myself in the floor length mirror. I ran my hands over the soft silk and smiled internally at Alice's kind gesture. I had missed her so much, she had been the only one other than Edward that had knew me so well, almost better than I had known my own self. I was extremely grateful to have her back in my life again, and regardless of what ever happened between me and Edward, I knew she would always be there for me.

I left the bathroom and shoved my dirty clothes into a separate compartment of my bag. I stopped and looked around the room, taking in the elegance of the Asian motif. The room was decorated with vitreous porcelain pieces, heavy cast bronze and smelled of lacquered wood, with most of the furnishings carved from or lined with antique Jade. I felt so small and inferior compared to the high class the Cullen family possessed. It was if I was a cheap plastic bead that was misplaced among a family of rare diamonds.

They had _always_ tried to make me feel just as important and I thought to myself..._"How does that saying go?....You can't polish a what?"_

I shook my head and pursed my lips at my attempt of humor, to rid myself of the feeling of inadequacy among this family, it just made me feel even more lame.

I took a deep breath and walked out of the bedroom, stopping just outside of my door and leaned my head to the side, running my fingers through my still damp hair. My fingers snagged a tangle just as I realized who's room was next to mine.

I tried to figure out why Alice would put me next to Edward's room, knowing good and well there were many other empty ones that I could have used.

I dropped my hands to my sides and walked over to the closed bedroom door. I just stood there wanting to open it and go in, but I didn't. I could smell his sweet scent standing there in the hallway, and my pulse began to speed up. I slowly inhaled, holding my breath to steady myself, then let it out as I gradually turned, and began my descent down the stairs.

I took my time on my way down, feeling the softness of the plush carpet beneath my toes. It was so immaculate, not one stain or fiber out of place. As I neared the end of the stairs, I heard the sound of the television blaring out from the living room and Alice's voice chirping away to somebody.

I turned and made my way into the living room. Rosalie was nowhere to be found, but Alice and Esme were perched on each end of the crisp white sofa. Alice was on her knees, with her legs tucked underneath her, facing away from the television, and her eyes focused on Esme. Esme was turned away from me so all I could see was long, beautiful red hair that flowed flawlessly, hanging over the back of the couch.

Both ladies turned and produced a genuine smile upon my entrance.

"Well don't you look beautiful Bella!" Esme said, warmly.

I immediately began blushing and sat down in between the two on the couch, crossing my legs. "Thanks." I said, embarrassed, and looked at the television to avoid eye contact. I could feel both of them staring at me.

"Oh doesn't she?" Alice agreed. "You look absolutely exquisite!" she pealed.

"I wouldn't go that far now." I said, turning to Alice, and happened to notice that her cell phone was sitting in her lap. I glanced from the phone to her and back again, wondering if she had heard anything from the guys. I was hoping to have heard something from Edward, but didn't want to make that public knowledge. I didn't want to give Alice anything that would cause her to push harder for Edward and I to be together. I already knew she was up to something, having put me next to his room.

Alice's voice broke me from my thoughts, I looked up at her confused.

"Are you even listening to me Bella?" Alice asked, shaking her head and furrowing her brows.

"Oh yeah, sorry...I'm listening."

"Well?" Alice asked, patiently waiting.

"Uh... well what?"

Alice reached over and poked my forehead with her index finger. "Hellooo?...Is anyone in there tonight?"

I reached up and swatted at Alice's hand. "Stop that!"

"Well then listen silly!" she laughed.

I turned and glanced at Esme who was sitting there quietly laughing at us, then returned my gaze to Alice. "I'm listening!" I said, rolling my eyes.

Alice shook her head. "I was just trying to tell you Miss Smarty Pants, that we heard from the guys when you were upstairs earlier."

"Oh you did?"

"Yes."

"And what did Jasper say? What's going on? Are they on their way back?" I frantically questioned.

Alice shifted her weight and pulled one leg out from underneath her. "It wasn't Jasper that called. It was Edward."

"Oh I see." I said nonchalantly, trying to feign lack of interest. "Well, I'm glad you were able to speak to him."

Alice raised a brow in confusion. "He originally called to speak to you Bella. Don't you even want to know what he wanted?" she asked.

"Yeah, I guess. If you want to tell me that is." Trying once again to play off that I actually cared.

"Bella, stop acting like that, I'm not buying it. You've been anxious all night as to what was going on, so stop trying to act like you don't care!" Alice spat, more annoyed than mad.

"Fine Alice! What did he say? And why in the world was he calling for me?" I asked, giving in.

Alice sighed, noting the obvious tension in the room. "He said he was calling to check on you, and he wanted to know how you were doing. He was worried about you." she said calmly, her eyes apologetic.

I absentmindedly bit at my lower lip. I was right about him having been worried about me when he had left. "Well, why can't he just come home and check on me? Why is it taking hours on end to have a talk with someone?" I asked curiously, but at the same time prying for information on what they were really doing.

Alice caught on quickly and glanced over at Esme, then back to me. "Bella, Edward doesn't want me saying anything to you about it. He feels it's his place to tell you."

"Whatever." I sighed, and leaned back on the couch, pulling my robe tighter around me. "It's a shame that everyone else knows what's going on, including Jacob. But I'm being left out of the loop."

Having stayed out of the conversation long enough, Esme reached over and place a loving hand on my arm. "Bella, Edward loves you." she said sincerely, tilting her head and flashing a genuine smile that made her eyes light up. "Please just trust him, he's trying to do right by you."

Alice leaned over and I turned my gaze to meet hers as she spoke. "Didn't you ask Edward to figure out what it was that he needed to do to win you back?"

"Did he tell you that?" I asked, shocked that he would reveal something so personal.

Alice laughed. "No silly girl, I saw it before it happened."

"Oh." I mumbled, relieved. I knew I couldn't be mad at her for that. It had always been hard to keep things from Alice. They had been gone for so long, it was going to take some time to get used to it again.

My thoughts went back to Edward and his need to do what I asked of him, to make things right between us. "Alice," I began. "Why would Edward think, that by doing whatever it is he's doing to Jacob, could possibly win me back?"

Alice and Esme both fidgeted in their seats. I knew this was uncalled for being they had no need for it. So, naturally, I knew something was up. "What's going on?" I asked, not amused.

"Nothing is going on Bella." Alice said reassuringly.

"Then why are you two acting so strange?" I asked, looking back and forth between the two.

Esme stood up to leave the room, smoothing the wrinkles on her pants. "I'm going to leave you two girls to your conversation. I need to go check on Rosalie." she said with a half smile, and scurried off.

I turned back to Alice and pursed my lips, biting at my cheek. "So? Are you going to tell me?"

Alice hesitated. "Bella, I can't say much, out of respect for Edward's wishes. But, what I can tell you is that you _really_ need to trust Edward."

I scoffed at Alice's words. "Trust him?" I said incredulously. "Alice, how am I supposed to trust him after what he did to me?"

"Bella, please don't make things so complicated. If it helps, then _trust_ _me_ when I tell you that you can trust him!" Alice pleaded.

"And why would I do that?" I asked. "Does this happen to have something to do with one of your visions?"

"Yes, it does." Alice admitted. "I see you and Edward..." she paused. "Together."

"You see us together? In what way?"

Alice gritted her teeth as if she hated to reveal anything else to me. "I see you as one of us Bella." she said and lowered her eyes to the ground.

My jaw dropped open in shock. "You _still_ see me becoming one of _you_?" I asked, confused. "But I thought your visions were subjective, that they could always change."

"Yes, they are subjective, and they do change as decisions are changed. But _that _has always remained the same."

"But that doesn't make any sense Alice. I haven't made the decision to be with Edward, I've only agreed to _try_ and work things out with him."

"Well, that may be the case right now, but obviously your heart knows otherwise." Alice said, as she locked her eyes into mine, searching for a sign that I was comprehending what she was telling me.

I pulled my legs up to my chest, and wrapped my arms around them. I couldn't for once believe that my heart would give me away. I knew in my mind that I would stand firm on trying with Edward, to give him the chance he had asked for. And I also knew that if things didn't work out the way I wanted them to, then we weren't going to be together.

I spoke to Alice without looking up at her. "So what else aren't you telling me?"

I watched Alice out of the corner of my eye as she turned and looked out the window. "I can't say anything else Bella, you're going to have to wait for Edward to tell you." she said, as she turned back around, resting her cheek on the couch. "He's doing a lot more for you than you realize, but you'll understand when the time is right. When he's ready to tell you."

I was tired of not getting anywhere with my questions, so I sighed and stretched out on the couch, resting my head beside Alice's knees. I tried to let her words sink in. _When the time is right_...._When he's ready to tell you_. What was he hiding that Alice couldn't tell me about? And why couldn't Edward have already confided in me? I didn't know whether or not to consider this to be a bad thing. But obviously, if he was out there doing _a lot more_ for me than I realized, then it couldn't be so bad after all.

I relaxed as Alice ran her fingers through my hair, and focused my eyes on the television. Esme had put it on mute earlier, so I had no clue what the actors on the show were talking about. Another reminder of myself, being left in the dark about things that were going on. All the silent chatter that had happened around me today, that was impossible for me to hear.

I promised myself that I would question Edward about everything when I saw him next. I needed answers, and not when he thought it best to give them to me. Since I was involved, there was no need to keep things a secret. Even if I had to threaten the information out of him, I would.

"Hey Alice?"

"What is it Bella?"

"When will Edward be home?"

"Soon, sweetie...soon."

Alice continued playing with my hair and my eyes began to slowly close. I kept trying to force them to stay open, but the heaviness of my lids and the weight of the day came down on me with a force. A television blaring upstairs and Alice's random, unnecessary sighs, were the only sounds my ordinary ears could pick up in the house.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I found myself awakened as my body was gently lifted up off the couch. Two, massive, cold arms scooped me up and began carrying me. I felt a tender hand, gently cradle my head against a rock hard chest. I breathed in, the sweet cool scent roused my senses telling me it was Edward. I wanted confirmation, so I opened my eyes as much as they would allow me and raised my head up to look at his face.

Edward felt me stir and looked down, meeting my sleepy gaze. "Go back to sleep love, I have you." he said softly, his cool breath sweeping across my face.

"Edward." I mumbled, and closed my eyes.

"Shh...sleep love." he whispered and leaned down planting a tender kiss on my forehead.

I felt Edward turn and walk into my room, stopping only for a second to shut the door behind us with his foot. He gently laid me down on the bed and I stretched out taking in a deep breath.

The scent on the covers smelled of Edward, and it quickly crossed my mind that I didn't notice that when I was in here earlier. I could hear him stirring behind me, like he was pulling a chair across the floor. I opened my eyes to turn and see what he was doing.

I wasn't in my room. My eyes automatically began adjusting to the darkness when I finally realized that I was in Edward's room. I sat halfway up on my elbows and looked around.

Edward was sitting in a chair in the middle of the room, he was leaning over with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

"Edward?" I whispered, barely hearing my own self. "What's wrong?"

He jerked his head up and immediately ran his fingers through his messy hair, dropping them to his lap. "I was just thinking Bella."

I sighed and pulled myself up into a sitting position. "What's on your mind?" I asked, worried. I was scared that he could have possibly done something _really_ bad to Jacob, and now he was beating himself up over it. My heart began to race and my breath became unsteady at the thought.

Edward noticed my anxiety and stood up, crossing the room to my side. He sat down on the bed beside me and took my hands into his. "Bella, what's bothering you?"

I didn't know how to answer that, I was afraid he was trying to avoid _my_ question. "You are what's bothering me." I answered honestly, there was no other way around it.

Edwards face fell, and a look of anguish flashed across. "What have I done wrong?" he muttered.

"That's just it, _have you_ done something wrong? You have me worried." I admitted.

"I haven't done anything that you would not be happy with Bella."

"Then what's wrong, why do you look so stressed?"

Edward let go of my hands and placed his own on either side of my face, cupping his palms around my cheeks. "Please tell me that everything I do and am doing for you is not in vain, please tell me that you won't forsake us Bella." he said tenderly, his face strained.

"I...I have no plans to do that." I stuttered. "I never have, and I wasn't the one who did." I said, as tears began to well up in my eyes.

Edward's pain surfaced and etched itself across his face. He creased his brows in agony and his lips parted as if he was going to say something, but stopped himself, then slid his thumb across my cheek wiping away a tear.

"Edward?" I whispered softly, as he lifted his liquid eyes to meet mine. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't purposely trying to make him suffer, but that maybe I should leave and go to my own room, since I was obviously hurting him so bad. "Maybe I..." I began before he stopped me.

"Shh..." Edward whispered. "Don't say it." while moving his thumbs down across my lips to silence me.

Never leaving my gaze, he leaned in and tenderly kissed a tear off of my cheek, his cold sweet breath trembling across my face.

My breath hitched and Edward let his lips linger on my cheek a moment longer, before moving them to feverishly lock with mine. He entwined his hands into my hair and pulled me into him, pressing his lips into me harder, then moving down my throat as I gasped for air.

This could not be happening. What was he doing? Was he trying to prove to me that he loved me? I knew this wasn't right, this wasn't how it was supposed to be. I couldn't be with him if I hadn't fully committed to us yet. What was I going to do?

"Ed..Edward!" I gasped, wanting to stop, yet desperately wanting to give in.

Edward backed away from me and I thought I had won the battle. _I thought_. He quickly pulled off his shirt, throwing it onto the floor and took me back into his arms, lowering me to the bed.

_Oh my...I can't... this is...ugh.... _His kisses down the side of my neck broke off any thoughts of reasoning, he moved his lips to my throat and began to run his tongue down to my chest. _Oh my god...that feels so...we need to stop...I_ _don't..._ Edward let out a moan that caused me to ache, stirring sensations in my body that screamed for me to let him take me.

"Edward! We can't!" I said, panting, still digging my fingers into his hair.

Edward pulled away, his breath trembling across my chest, causing me to shiver. "Do you want to stop?" he gasped, his eyes pleading with me to say no.

_NO!_ my heart screamed at me. "Ye..Yes" I muttered, my mind taking control of the situation. "Will you just hold me? Please?" I begged.

Edward picked me up and turned me around on the bed, he laid down behind me and pulled me into his chest, my body shivering at the touch, but I welcomed it.

"Bella?" he whispered, his breath sending a chill down my neck. I leaned my head back in response so I could see his eyes. "What?"

Edward's face became serious, a look of devotion enveloping his eyes."I just want you to know, that whatever anguish of spirit it costs me, I am willing to do whatever it takes to earn your trust back."

* * *

**Chapter End Notes**: Thank you for reading and being so patient for the update, as I don't update on weekends unless I already have a chapter written out. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts! :)

**Influence for this Chapter**: Song 'Tears' by Emmy Rossum

**Coming Up**... Chapter 15 'Opinion' Edward's POV


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes: **Edward's point of view begins on the morning Bella was in the meadow.

_There's this place in me where your finger prints still rest... you're kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo... It's the place  
where a part of you will forever be a part of me. _

_~Excerpt from Edward's Journal~_

* * *

**Chapter 15 :::Opinion:::**

**Edward's POV**

**Part 1**

Carefully keeping my distance, I continued to follow Bella through the woods. My main objective was to ensure her safety, being Victoria was still on the prowl, _and_ because of Jacob's ulterior motives.

Bella had asked me the night before to give her some space, she had wanted the time alone to digest the fact that I was back in her life. I painfully respected her request and let her be, though I did inform her that I wouldn't be far away, just in case she needed me. I never did return to her room, even to watch her sleep, as I had no intentions of disrespecting her wishes.

I remained hidden in the tree line as I watched Bella tread softly into our meadow. I could tell by her expression that she had a lot on her mind, which was quite understandable, considering my unexpected return, and my revelation that I was still in love with her. So, I was quite positive that she had a generous amount of newly acquired knowledge to sort through.

I watched as Bella pulled off her sweater and stretched out onto the ground. I definitely couldn't feel the cold, but knew from the temperature in the air the she had to be somewhat chilled, and the ground surely wouldn't help matters.

A loud scream emitting from Bella's direction, caused me to jump. I already knew she was okay, but it had caught me off guard, and so I inched a little bit closer until she was in my view, just to make my own self feel more at ease.

Bella had by this point, acquired a wildflower and was pulling off the petals, one by one. I listened as she softly spoke.

"He loves me..."

"He loves me not..."

"He loves me..."

I stood in thought as I wondered if she was referring to me, and I couldn't understand why she would be questioning whether or not I loved her. Then it registered, of course she would be questioning that. This beautiful girl, that I loved with all of my existence, was confused. Confused because of me.

Bella's soft voice broke into my thoughts.

"I love him..."

My stone heart quivered at her words.

"I love him not..."

Then quickly pained, as I felt it twist into knots.

I wanted so badly to reassure Bella, that I did love her, and though it would tear me apart, I wanted her to know that it was okay if she doubted her feelings for me.

Without thinking, I moved to her side, needing to be near her.

Bella reached for the final petal when I spoke, startling her. "You love him?" I asked.

She sat up and turned around realizing it was me, with a look of surprise on her face as it gently melted into her beautiful smile, her captivating brown eyes bright and full of contentment.

I smiled back at her unspoken response, she turned her gaze away from me and attempted to speak, but she seemed unable to form a coherent sentence.

"I uh...I was uh...just...looking at this um...flower here...and..." she muttered.

I laughed and moved to her side, sitting down next to her. "You don't have to explain yourself Bella, It's okay...really." I considered for a moment if _I_ was making her this nervous, not really understanding why.

A rush of blood flooded Bella's cheeks causing her gaze to turn towards the flower in her hand. "I was just passing the time I guess." she said, embarrassed.

I couldn't help but grin at her embarrassment, I hadn't realized just exactly how much I had missed this. I closed my eyes and took in a slow, deep breath, absorbing her scent. I let it linger in my hardened lungs assaulting me, then hesitantly released it and turned my attention back to her.

Bella was lost in her thoughts staring at the last petal on the flower, and so I reached over and gently pulled it off. "You love him?" I asked again, softly.

I released the petal letting it fall, as we both watched it flutter through the air, deciding for itself where it wanted to rest.

My eyes took in the presence of Bella, as she had returned to her thoughts, and I assumed it was because of my question. My heart wanted to know the answer, if she truly did love me, as I loved her. I knew that I couldn't expect much, but I longed to know.

Bella let out a soft, uneasy laugh, her face etched with complexity. I wondered to myself if she was debating her answer.

"You never answered me." I said, as I leaned my head to the side and studied her expression.

Bella raised a brow in confusion. "Answer you what?"

"You never did say if you love him."

"Oh" she mumbled.

I lowered my gaze to my hands, feeling guilty. I shouldn't have put her on the spot, making her feel uncomfortable with my question. I had already put her through enough, to expect her to answer me.

"When you say _him_?" Bella asked.

I knew exactly what she meant, she wanted me to clarify who I was referring to, me or the _dog_. "Well," I paused. "I was hoping you were referring to me." I said, desiring that she would in fact, affirm that it was me.

She nodded her head in confirmation. "Yes, that I was." she said, as a bashful smile flashed across her face, causing me to lean in and take her chin into my hand, lifting it up to meet my eyes.

"Do you?" I asked.

"You mean do I love you?" Bella questioned.

"Yes." I whispered. "Do you still love me?"

"Yes, I still lo--" My lips were on hers before she could even finish her sentence. A yes was all my heart needed as it took over directing my hands and lips to do it's bidding.

I took Bella's face into my hands and pulled her into me, kissing her softly, tasting her delicate lips. Bella didn't resist, and if she had, I would have let her go. Instead, she pressed her lips into mine, and our gasps mingled together as her heartbeat began to quicken.

My entire existence seemed to be centered around this one moment, I was aware of nothing else, my body yearned to take her into my arms, desiring to feel and know every single part of her. It took every ounce of strength that I had, to keep myself from releasing the passionate fury my heart and body ached for.

I willed myself to stop, taking in one last deep breath of Bella's scent letting it invade my throat, then let it out quickly, causing a soft moan of desire to escape my lips. I pulled away and tenderly placed my forehead against hers, my thoughts raging as I steadied my breath.

I had to have Bella, not for my own selfish reasons, but because she was all I ever wanted. She was the answer to my loneliness, the meaning of my survival, the reason I still existed. I had waited for what felt like an eternity to find her, and by my own selfish and idiotic doing, I had pushed her away. I learned the hard way, what I had denied myself for so long, that I was nothing without her. I had to fix this, and I would do whatever it took, whatever she asked of me.

"What do I have to do Bella?" I asked, my breath trembling.

"Wh...What do you mean?" she gasped, her eyes searching mine for an explanation.

"I need you to tell me what I have to do to earn you back."

Bella pulled away from me turning her gaze to the ground. "I don't know Edward." she said, her voice shaking.

Whatever hopes I had, began to slowly falter. I glanced over at Bella out of the corner of my eye, the look of indecision on her face was heart wrenching. I couldn't read if she was debating on whether or not she wanted to be with me, or if she didn't know what I had to do to earn her back. Either way, it was still painful, especially the waiting.

I raised my head and turned to look at her straight on. She was staring at me, smiling sweetly, and it gave me a glimmer of hope. "I love you Bella." I said, passionately, engraving the sight of her into my memory.

"I love you too," she said, and pulled her knees into her chest, wrapping her arms around them. "But you just have to make things right Edward." Bella looked up at me and tried to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "When you do, I'll be here waiting for you." she promised.

I nodded. "I understand," I said, knowing that I would do whatever she asked. "But you have to tell me what I need to do."

We sat in silence as she wrung her hands together in deep thought, sighing deeply. "It's not something that I can tell you, I think it's more of an issue that you need to figure out for yourself. You're the one that left, so you're the one that has to do it." she said, blatantly.

Bella's words pierced my heart like a knife, but I knew I deserved it, for she was correct."But do what?" I asked, still searching for an answer.

"I guess that's what you need to ask yourself, I'm sure you'll know it when you find the answer. I'm sure we both will." Bella said.

I let my gaze fall to the ground, and began picking out random blades of grass, pulling them from their roots. I did what Bella suggested and began asking myself what I needed to do to correct the current situation. I knew I needed to figure it out, but the what and how confused me.

I looked back up at Bella, her head was resting on her knees with her eyes closed. That sweet smile was back, sweeping across her face. It frustrated me that I couldn't read her mind, especially right now, but I thought better of it for the simple fact that I probably wouldn't want to hear it. I should be thankful that I couldn't, for I knew she had a lot of pain to deal with because of me. The pain she exhibited was already crushing me, I didn't know if I would be able to endure feeling that too.

I _was_ curious though, as to what was causing her to smile so peacefully. I figured that I could handle that at least. "I'd give anything right now to know what you're thinking." I said.

I watched as Bella opened her eyes and focused on me. Her gaze was taking me in, and the look on her face took my breath away. My body began to stir with emotions, and I shifted my eyes towards the ground to thwart them.

"You've eaten!" she said, happily. Obviously noticing that I had found the time to hunt.

"Yeah," I said, shifting my gaze back to hers. "I spent pretty much most of the morning hunting. It's been forever since I had anything to eat." I admitted.

"And why is that, weren't there any animals where you were?" she asked, oblivious to the fact.

I almost couldn't contain my laughter at her puzzled look. She was so innocent though, and really had no idea what I had endured while I was away from her. I quickly decided to leave any information of my suffering out of my answer, and made it simple. "No, there were animals, I just wasn't in the mood to eat."

Bella nodded as her smile dropped from her face, realization stepping in as she processed the meaning that was hidden behind my answer.

I didn't like the tension that was developing so I moved on with a question of my own. "I have a question to ask you."

"Another one?" Bella teased.

I nodded and let out a nervous laugh. "Yes." I paused, not really wanting to know the answer, but still had to ask. "Do you have feelings for Jacob?"

Bella shook her head and scoffed. "Feelings...hmm." she said. "I like Jacob as a friend, But..."

I cringed at her last word as she trailed off into thought. But? But what? Did she feel that she could possibly have deeper feelings for him than she wanted? Did her feelings for Jacob run deeper than the ones she felt for me? Was it possible that it could possibly be too late for us? My thoughts continued to swing back and forth. If I had been human, it would have literally given me a headache.

I shook my head out of desperation to clear my thoughts. "But...what?" I asked, waiting patiently.

"But," Bella said. "If he keeps trying to push me into a relationship, then we won't be anything at all. Ever." she said, curtly.

Bella's fury laced confession brought me a major sense of relief. She didn't want to be with him after all. Friends yes, but a relationship as lovers was not in his future. It took everything I had to contain my excitement at this new information.

I shifted my weight on the ground and leaned to one side. I sifted through my thoughts wanting to relay my words as I truly meant them, I didn't want Bella to assume anything. "Of course I wouldn't even dream of pushing you into anything you didn't want Bella, but what If I tried for us to have a relationship again?"

I truly wanted our relationship to work out. Bella already knew this, but I felt it was better to get it out in the open, to make my intentions clear to her. Especially with how she felt about Jacob pursuing her, maybe this would help me find out where I stood with her in my attempts.

Bella flashed a playful smile across her face, almost smirking. "Well then, I guess you would be just trying, wouldn't you?" she teased. "But like I said before, things just have to be right between us, and I think we'll be okay."

"So," I said, hesitating. "What are we now, where do we stand?"

"What do you mean where do we stand?"

I raised a brow and pursed my lips for a moment, still not understanding how Bella could make me feel so nervous. "I mean, are we still lovers or... just friends?...maybe even enemies? Which is it?" I asked. "I only want what you need Bella, you have to tell me." I pleaded.

"Well, maybe we can be friends with benefits!" she said, playfully.

Shock shot through my body at her audaciousness. "Bella!" I said, my breath hitching at the thought of having our bodies entwined. "You know I...we... can't do that." I was stumbling, and I lowered my eyes to the ground to resist the temptation of telling her that I would give anything to. I knew that wasn't what she needed to hear, or physically have, not right now. It was be too confusing for the both of us. But I didn't know if she _really did_ want that from me. "Is that what you want me to do to make things right between us?" I asked softly. "I don't want to hurt you, I believe I've already done enough to cause you harm."

Bella laughed, shaking her head. "I was only playing with you Edward, I don't want you thinking we have to be intimate in order for us to be a couple again, I was only just teasing."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Yeah, it wouldn't be the first time you've teased me." I said, and flashed a devious grin. If Bella only knew how she got to me, how she caused my senses to stir beyond what should be allowed for even the simplest of men to feel.

"Edward!" she said, laughing and playfully swatted my arm. I was so tensed up that if I hadn't been watching her, I would have never even felt it. I laughed along with her at her playful gesture, also relieved that we were now over this subject.

Bella's pleasant smile quickly faded before turning serious. "I think that honestly, we're friends right now."

I looked up at her in with a saddened heart, her words cutting deep. But I still wanted permission to touch her and hold her, we could still do that as friends right? "So does that mean that I can't kiss you, or hold you at night like I used to?"

Bella sighed, and shifted her weight uncomfortably. This wasn't a good sign, but if she denied my request, then I would accommodate her accordingly. If friendship was all that she offered, I would accept that.

"I think we can manage that." Bella said, as she furrowed her brows in anxiety. "But I don't want it to mean that we're together again, if that makes any sense. I don't want you to gain any false hope from it. And I especially don't want you to think that I'm using you."

"No, Bella. I would never think of it that way. It's something that _I'm_ asking for...for me. And you're being generous enough to give it to me." I paused. "It's all I can ask of you, nothing more. I actually don't have the right to ask that." I said honestly, and tried to force a sincere smile.

Bella smiled and reached out and took my hand into hers, causing me to tremble at her touch. I stood up and pulled her up to me. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly. I couldn't ask for anything else, she had given me the right to continue to love her. Albeit, I had to find whatever it was that she needed to earn her back, but whatever the cost, I promised myself that I would live up to her expectations.

I didn't want to question her anymore about our relationship this morning, I just wanted to stand here and enjoy holding her in my arms. I knew in my granite heart that if she was allowing me this...this opportunity to redeem myself, then there was a great possibility that we would be together again.

I leaned down closing my eyes and kissed the top of Bella's head, breathing in the vanilla aroma. I smiled silently to myself wishing I could hold onto her forever, but instead, enjoyed the feeling of her against my weakened body.

Bella gently pulled away, keeping her hands on my waist. "I need to go." she said softly, as I looked down and locked my gaze into hers. I wanted so badly to kiss her again, but refused myself. I leaned over and kissed her forehead tenderly.

"I know." I whispered. "Do you want me to give you a piggy back to your truck?" I asked, hoping she would say yes, just so I would have a few more minutes with her.

"Sure...I think that would be fun!" she giggled. And I turned around, pulling her up onto my back and took off running towards her truck.

After I said goodbye to Bella, and made sure she was safely on her way home, I quickly turned and darted for my house. I had company arriving, well, my family was arriving, moving back to Forks.

As soon as I had arrived home, Alice and Carlisle were already pulling into the driveway. I was thankful not only that my family had decided to move back in support of me, but at least now I had my car and didn't have to run everywhere. It somehow made me feel a bit more human.

Alice bounced out of the car and came running over to hug me. I hugged my sister tightly, thankful for her presence. "Thank you for helping Carlisle bring my car back." I said, very appreciative.

Alice beamed. "Oh! No problem at all brother! It's great to see you happy now!"

I dropped my arms to my sides and lowered my head. "Well, not everything is so wonderful Alice."

"Edward!" Carlisle called out to me, slamming his car door shut behind him. "It's great to see you son!" he said, as he made his way over to me. "Your mother is _beyond_ joyed that the family is now back together again!"

I glanced up at Carlisle, then back to the ground, twitching my lips to the side in uneasiness. "I'm happy that she is Carlisle, after all I've put us through, I'm surprised _any_ of you came back at all." I paused, attempting to compose myself. "But I am _very_ grateful that you did."

"Oh, shut up Edward!" Alice piped, laughing. "You're such a drama king!"

"Alice, please." Carlisle reprimanded her softly.

Alice rolled her eyes, quietly conceding, still bouncing where she stood.

Carlisle turned back to me. "I recommend that we put the past behind us and work on moving forward. The family is back together again, and that is all that matters. I was lucky enough to get my job back at the hospital, so we have nothing to worry about as far as our images are concerned."

I nodded in agreement with him. "I can do that."

"How is Bella?" Carlisle asked, concerned, glancing between Alice and I.

I hesitated, folding my arms across my chest. "I think she will be okay, I believe it will just take some time for us to sort things out." I shrugged my shoulders, trying to ease my anxiety. "I really messed up when I left her, so she has a right to doubt my feelings for her."

Carlisle raised a brow in question. "And how are _you_ holding up?"

I lowered my head in humility. "Well...I ask myself why I keep on loving her, when it's clear that she might not feel the same way for me anymore...but the problem is... that as much as I can't force her to love me as I do her, I can't force myself to stop loving her either."

Carlisle stepped up and placed his hand on my shoulder. "Son, love is like a puzzle. When you're in love, all the pieces fit but when your heart gets broken, it takes a while to get everything back together. You have to work at it, nothing will come together over night, you _must_ have patience." he paused, waiting for me to look at him. "Besides, you will _never_ stop loving Bella, she'll always be a part of you no matter what. And that means you will never give up on her, take it from your old man, I've been there."

I nodded. "You're absolutely right, and I don't want to give up." I glanced to Alice, then back to Carlisle, as he turned and made his way into the house. "Tell the others, I want to talk to Alice and then I'll be in to say hello."

Carlisle waved his hand in the air in acknowledgment and went into the house.

I turned back to Alice, looking down at her. "Thank you for everything Alice." I said, sincerely.

"You're most certainly welcome." Alice said softly, her voice just as sincere as mine. "But I don't know why you're so worried about you and Bella not working things out."

"Why do you say that?" I asked, just as she replayed her visions in her thoughts. I saw Bella as she had seen her before, as one of us, a vampire.

I cringed at the sight of Bella as a vampire, knowing the pain she would have to endure to become one. "I can't do that to her Alice, I just can't." I said, closing my eyes and rubbing my forehead.

"I'm afraid you won't have much of a choice Edward." and she continued with her vision, giving me a play by play.

I saw Bella dressed in a white gown, standing by my side as we proclaimed our love for each other, and in the next one I was on my knees sobbing as Bella walked up to me and wrapped her loving arms around me. Then she went on to show Bella and I embracing in an intimate moment of passion, our bodies naked.

"ALICE!" I shrieked, "Stop!"

"What?" Alice laughed, patting my arm. "See...I told you that you had nothing to worry about."

I shook my head in humiliation. "Please try to keep that _last one_ out of your head!" I begged.

"Sure thing brother!" Alice said, and turned to walk towards the house. "I need to go see Jasper, I'm quite sure he has missed me!" she said with a big smile. "Then, I'm going to go see _my_ Bella!" she chimed, and walked off into the house leaving me to my thoughts.

My mind reeled with all the new information Alice had just provided. It was hard to comprehend the fact that Bella and I were really going to end up together. And _officially_ together at that, I hadn't even considered marriage until this point. Actually it was the first time the idea had even come up, but I knew in my heart that I would give anything for her to be my wife, and never having to worry about loosing her again.

I quickly shoved my thoughts to the back of my mind. I could hear everyone in the house waiting for me to come in. I could hear Esme patiently waiting by the front door, ready to attack me with a hug. It was time that I went and thanked my family for coming back for me, as I also owed each and every one of them an apology for my actions. But I would do as Carlisle had suggested, I would do what was necessary to make amends, then I would move on. I would move on with my family _and_ with Bella.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes**: It was nice to see how Edward had perceived the conversation with Bella in the meadow! He seemed to have taken things a lot differently than expected!.......And once again, thank you for reading, I feel so honored to have all the kind and inspiring reviews everyone is leaving!

**Inspiration for this Chapter**: Song 'Snuff' by Slipknot

**Coming Up**... Chapter 16 'Edward's POV, Part 2'.....We finally get to see what Edward did to Jacob!


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes:** We finally get to see what Edward did to Jacob, and how he let the truth unravel to certain people.

_Let's enlighten the night  
We can fall away, slip out of sight  
When you drop your guard  
Melt into time, so intertwined, quiet_

_I know the battles of chasing the shadows of who you wanna be  
It doesn't matter, go on and shatter  
I'm all you need_

_Broken pieces, break into me  
So imperfectly what you should be  
Lay here, it's safe here, I'll let you be broken open  
Hide here, confide here so we can be broken open_

_  
~Excerpt of Lyrics to Adam Lambert's 'Broken Open'~_

* * *

**Chapter 16 :::Hearsay:::**

**Edward's POV**

**Part 2**

I had spent the major part of my day helping Esme unpack and rearrange furniture. I also had lent a hand to help Carlisle do some maintenance around the house, that was needed due to our extended absence. I had even endured a jab from Emmett concerning his idea that I should be wearing a maid's outfit, and that he had brought me a feather duster to complete it.

So far, everyone had seemed to be getting along, mainly for the simple fact that the whole family had returned and was functioning as a whole again. Esme had told us that we all had Bella to thank for our reunion, that I was the reason the family split apart to begin with, and she was the reason we came back together. I guess she had a good point. After I had said my apologies and given explanations, the topic was dropped.

I was now in my room sorting through all of my journals. I hadn't had the urge to write while I was away. I had been void of need to do anything that was productive. Without Bella in my life, it literally had no meaning. Without her, there were no words to describe how I felt, so my journals that I had taken with me, only collected dust. I removed the rest from the box I had brought in and wiped them down, placing them up on my shelf.

I sighed and looked around the room, feeling the emptiness. I sat down on the bed and ran my hands over the gold comforter, remembering when Esme had purchased the bed before I left. She had thought that Bella could use it when she came over, figuring we wouldn't want to stay away from each other even for a minute. I couldn't help but find some consolation in the thought, thinking back to when we were inseparable.

I heard Alice pulling into the driveway, and I was immediately assaulted with her plethora of thoughts.

_That stupid, stupid deranged dog! And I DID NOT like how he was treating Bella!_

I rose from the bed, but stopped myself from leaving the room. I couldn't tell if Alice would try and block me from her thoughts if she knew I was listening. But it was too late anyway, I'd already caught most of them. I continued to listen as she made her way into the house.

_That idiotic wormy wolf! Someone should put him in a cage and have him neutered! Just pure Idiocy!_

Alice continued her loving sentiments as she stomped up the stairs, causing a slight booming sound. I heard her at my door and before I knew it, she was flying into my room.

"I hate him Edward!" Alice said, furious.

"Hate who?" I asked, calmly. Already knowing the answer to my question.

"That stupid mangy mutt Jacob!" she spat. "And I didn't like the way he was treating Bella either!"

"Wait." I said, holding my hand up to silence her for a moment. "What are you talking about, what did he do to Bella?" I asked, my hands beginning to tremble.

Alice crossed her arms against her chest in disgust. "He treats her like she's a freaking object! That's what! And he just stood there mocking her, not to mention that he came over uninvited. Then the hairy halfbreed started in on me, putting me down! But I can handle his immature ass! I just don't like the way he treats Bella!" She blurted out in a huff.

I raised a brow in confusion. "Can you just show me what happened?"

Alice opened her thoughts to me and replayed her entire visit with Bella. I saw everything, from Charlie reacting to finding her so cold and commenting about her heater, to Alice waving goodbye to Bella telling her she would pick her up in a few hours. She even showed me the look on Jacob's face while he watched her leave.

I shook my head, processing the information. "Alice, we can't control how Bella let's others treat her, you know this."

"I know that." Alice stated. "But that doesn't mean that I have to like it!"

"I know, I know." I nodded, throwing up my hands in defeat. "But we're useless in stopping it unless he does something to her or if she asks us for our help."

"But what until then?" she questioned. "What if we let it go and he ends up hurting her? You know I won't be able to see it before it happens, Edward. Everything goes blurry when she's around him."

I sat down on the bed and ran my fingers through my hair. I felt so useless. Bella did need some intervention with Jacob, but I knew if I interfered without good cause, she would hold it against me and push me away. Our relationship was already balancing on a thin line, one mess up and I would be out of her life for good. And that is exactly what Jacob was betting on. He wanted me to do something stupid, he wanted me to overreact.

"We have to stay out of it Alice. I have already promised him a world of pain if he hurts her. And I will stay true to my word."

Alice shook her head. "And what if she begs you not to? Then what? You know she doesn't like to see anyone get hurt."

I shrugged my shoulders and interlocked my fingers in my lap. "Well, if he hurts her....I'm still going after him. My word is my honor, and I'd hope he would hold me to it...But if it comes to that, Bella can beg all she wants. I'd rather have her mad at me for a lifetime, than to suffer at his hands for a single moment."

I stood up and walked across the room, stopping in front of the window. I thought back to when Bella and I had climbed the trees, of how innocent our love was then.

"I'm through talking about this Alice." I stated. I already knew what it was going to come to and I was tired of thinking about it.

"But Edward, can't you do something?" Alice begged.

"No...I'm finished with this discussion."

Alice sighed and moved across the room, piling up on my bed. "You know," she said, changing the subject. "Bella is coming over to stay the night. I'll be leaving soon to go pick her up."

"I know" I admitted. "I saw it in your thoughts, remember?"

"Oh yeah." she mumbled.

"If you don't mind, can you put her in the room next to mine?"

I turned and faced Alice, watching her expression of amusement.

"Why do you want me to do that?" she asked, curious.

"Because I want to be near her."

Alice nodded, understanding my plight. "Okay, we'll if you're done with requests, then I need to go help Rosalie pick out an outfit for her date with Emmett tomorrow night!"

I laughed and waved her off as she twirled around and sped off out of the room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Some lengthy writing in my journal and a few hours later, I glanced at the clock wondering how much longer it would be before Alice arrived with Bella. But, just as the thought had crossed my mind, I heard the silent purr of my car as it pulled into the driveway.

Right away I tuned into Alice, reading her thoughts and seeing Bella through her eyes. _"Are you okay Bella?" Why is she holding her breath? "Bella, breathe!"_

I continued to listen as I went downstairs to the living room, where everyone was preparing for Bella to come in, all of them ready to pounce. They were all listening to the conversation between her and Alice as well, and turned to look up at me as I entered.

I went and sat down on the piano bench, everyone was quiet, and anxiously waiting when Bella's words caused me to cringe.

"_Because all of you had to up and leave over me. All because he didn't want to be around me!"_

My whole family looked up at me, and at that point I didn't care to know what they were thinking of me. I shook my head and cast my eyes towards the floor, blocking out their thoughts and focusing on Bella.

We continued to listen to the conversation as Alice brought up Jacob. I glanced from Carlisle to Jasper, then to Emmett who already had his fists balled up at his sides, slowly moving towards the garage door.

Emmett saw me watching him and automatically started questioning me with his thoughts. _Are you going to let Jacob get away with that?_

I shook my head. "It's what he wants, he's expecting me to do something stupid Emmett." I hadn't even finished with my sentence before we heard Alice bellow out. _"Bella! Are you trying to protect that dog? I know for a fact he did this to you! These weren't here when I left you!"_

That was all it took and Emmett was flying out of the garage door. I turned to follow him but Carlisle reached out and grabbed my arm to stop me.

"What?" I asked, confused, not taking the time to read his mind.

"Don't." he said. "Let Emmett handle it, I don't want you going out there and getting angry over Jacob in front of Bella. You'll just end up regretting your actions."

_And I don't want you trying to go after Jacob either, it will just cause trouble with the pack that our family doesn't need. _He added in his thoughts, not wanting the rest of the family to hear.

"I wasn't planning on going after him...._yet_. I just want to go check on Bella right now." I said as I turned and made my way outside, hearing the rest of the family follow me out.

I kept my distance from Bella, standing behind everyone as they gathered around her. I let out a hiss when I noticed the bruises on Bella's wrists. Everyone had gasped at the sight and turned to look at me, studying my reaction.

We all watched silently as Bella made her way to the back of the car and continued crying.

I turned and looked at Carlisle, speaking quickly, fury straining my voice "I'm going after Jacob tonight, I'm keeping my promise to him _and_ Bella." I spat, keeping my tone low enough so that Bella couldn't hear.

"I've gotta see this!" Emmett chimed in.

Carlisle glared at me with question as I felt Jasper trying to calm me. "No, Jasper. I don't want calm!" I said, as I waved my hand in dismissal.

"Your anger is overwhelming, I can't handle it!" Jasper responded.

"Then have Alice take you to your happy place!" I snipped, as Alice and Emmett let out stifled laughs.

Carlisle put his hand up to silence us. "Just stop, all of you!" he said glancing around at us, then turned fixing his gaze on mine. "What promises to Jacob and Bella are you talking about Edward?"

I leaned in closer to Carlisle, knowing there was no need for it as they could all hear me, and hurriedly explained the promises I had made to each one. "But there is a lot more to it." I added.

"Like what?" Carlisle asked, curious.

"I can't explain now." I said, leaning back and glancing at Bella. "I'll have to fill you in later." I then turned and ran my gaze around my family. "I have a threat to carry out tonight, and I'm doing it _with_ or _without_ you."

Carlisle stiffened, and began to speak as Bella's whispering broke us from our conversation."I should have never come here."

I glanced over at Jasper, silently asking him with my eyes to calm Bella and flitted over to her side. I tenderly grasped at her hands, and pulled them from her face, revealing her pain. I felt a tiny fissure form in my stone heart, I couldn't stand that she was hurting so badly. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "I love you Bella." I whispered softly.

"I know." she whispered back, and I cringed as I felt her words pain me. I pulled away from her gently and raised her chin in my hand, trying to read her eyes.

"I'm glad you came to visit." I said. "Even though it wasn't to see me, I'm still glad your here." I smiled, wanting her to know it was okay, that none of this was her fault.

Bella shifted her weight against the car and mumbled. "Uh, okay."

I reached down and gently took Bella's arms into my hands. "Do you mind if I look?"

"No, go ahead" she said softly.

I brought her hands up to my chest and examined her wrists. I slowly, but very carefully ran my fingers over the bruises causing her to wince in pain. "I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?" I asked, worried.

"No, no...I'm fine." she said, trying hard to convince me.

I gently lowered her hands, glancing over at the rest of my family, as I heard their decision to assist me in taking care of Jacob, then turned my eyes back to Bella.

"What happened Bella?" I demanded, trying to keep my calm, and listened quietly as she told me everything that had happened earlier with Jacob.

"So, let me make sure I have this correct. You asked him to stop and he continued on by holding you down?" I asked incredulously, as my family hissed in response.

I watched as blood pooled into Bella's cheeks, humiliation setting in."But I sorta consented at first, so I can't blame him for it" she said, trying to defend Jacob.

I shook my head in bewilderment. "What do you mean you sort of consented? Either you did or you didn't. Which is it?" I asked.

Bella sighed, becoming agitated. "Edward, I only consented because he wouldn't let me up! He told me to stop fighting him!" she shouted, and began to sob again. "Why is everyone making a big deal out of this!" she cried.

At that moment Carlisle walked around to us and put his hand on Bella's shoulder. "Bella, he disrespected you, that's why we're making a big deal out of it." He then looked up at me letting me read his thoughts. _The men are with you on this son, but we need to leave soon._ I acknowledged him with a slight nod.

Carlisle backed away and left us alone again while he began talking to the others. I pulled Bella against my body and wrapped my arms around her tightly, and whispered softly, "Don't worry, Jacob won't be doing this to you again, if he does I'll kill him." I felt her nod as she tightened her arms around my waist.

I watched as Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle came to wait by my side. Bella turned and looked at me confused. "What's going on?" she asked.

I looked down into her eyes, my anger seeping through the calm. "I'm going to make things right." I promised, as I slowly pulled away from her, then turned and took off running into the woods with the others.

Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper, blazed along with me through the woods in a fury. Not excluding leaps and bounds we had managed to cover a one mile stretch in four minutes.

_So what is your plan Edward?_ Carlisle thought as he dodged random trees.

"I'll figure it out when I get there." I admitted. I didn't have a plan, and didn't figure I would need one to take care of Jacob, after all It was going to be rather simple, I would rip him to shreds...easy enough.

Carlisle sensed my rising anger. _I don't want you to kill him._

"Yeah well, not everyone gets what they want." I spat sarcastically.

_Edward! You will not do something that you will regret later! You forget that I know you son!_

"I guess you don't know me that well Father, because I will _never_ regret killing Jacob!" I said curtly, as we stopped near the treaty line.

"We can't go any further than this." Carlisle ordered.

"So now what?" Jasper asked, looking around, slightly confused. He was a lot more confident with a well thought out, planned attack, not a last minute play by play.

"So now I call Jacob out, and hopefully he'll show if he knows what's good for him." I stated. I began walking up and down the treaty line, taking in the scents around us, trying to pick up any scent that would tell me Jacob was near.

Once I didn't pick anything up, I did what I set out to do. "JACOB!" I yelled, my voice reverberating off the trees, I was quite sure that anyone on the reservation could have heard me loud and clear, and if they were asleep, well...they were awake now. "JACOB!" I yelled again, and waited.

I watched as Carlisle and Jasper waited in silence, watching me. Emmett on the other hand was pacing back and forth, anxiously waiting for something to happen.

"Jaaaaaay-cub!" Emmett taunted, his voice pitched as high as he could get it. "Ca mere poochy!"

Carlisle shot a glare at Emmett. "Stop it!"

Suddenly we picked up the scent of a wolf as we heard it tracking us through the woods. We remained in place, waiting.

A smokey colored wolf emerged from the trees, slowly and cautiously approaching us. It was Paul.

"Paul!" I said, my voice ringing out into the night. "Where is Jacob?"

_Why? What's going on here?_ Paul asked, as he eyed all of us and sniffed the air.

"I have something that needs to be settled with Jacob." I snapped. "Where is he?"

_He was at his house the last time I saw him._

"Would you be as kind to go and get him for me?" I asked, calmly. "And make sure you tell him that he needs to be in human form, so his coward self can't hide his side of our conversation."

_I'll go get him now._ Paul said, as he hesitantly stepped backwards, keeping his eyes on us, then shot off into the woods.

"What was all of that about?" Jasper asked.

I looked over at Jasper and began to explain. "Paul said that Jacob was at his house, so he's going to get him for me. And I asked him to be in human form so our conversation isn't one sided, you'll understand why when it happens."

I turned back towards the woods as I heard stomping sounds headed towards us. I watched the trees as Sam, Embry and Quil all stepped out in human form. I noticed that Jacob was not with them.

Sam walked up to Carlisle apprehensively, not sure of what was going on. "Hello Carlisle, how are you?"

Carlisle, always the calm and polite vampire that he was, greeted Sam with a smile. "Hello Sam, I'm doing well, how are you?"

"I'd like to know what's going on here....what do you want with Jacob?" he asked, glancing over to me, then back to Carlisle.

"Well, honestly Sam, I have no need for Jacob." he paused, turning to point at me. "It's Edward that has a score to settle with him, we're just here for support in case you and the others decide that you would like to interfere with _said score_."

Sam looked taken aback by Carlisle's words. "Are you threatening us?" he asked incredulously.

Carlisle interlocked his fingers and let them rest at the front of his waistline. "No Sam, I am not threatening you, but I do think it wise that we let Edward and Jacob take care of their own business, it's best that we _all _stay out of it." he calmly advised, obviously unconcerned with Sam's threatening posture.

Sam nodded still unsure of what we wanted him to agree to, he turned and glared at me. "So what is it that you want of Jacob? In what way has he angered you, for you to be out here like this?"

I raised a brow and scoffed, trying to contain my anger at Sam's lack of knowledge of his own pack member's actions. "Well." I began as I moved to Carlisle's side. "Which event would you like me to begin with?"

Sam's brows raised in shock. "There's more than one?" he asked.

I nodded, and noticed Emmett and Jasper flanking each side of Carlisle and I.

"Start from the beginning then." Sam ordered.

I did as Sam requested and began at the time I had arrived in Forks, explaining the conversations we had, but excluded for my own reasons, an important one that was between Jacob and I, and ended with what Jacob had done to Bella earlier in the day, including the marks he had left.

For a slight moment, I thought Sam's face was stuck in his shocked expression. "Well, I most certainly don't approve of his behavior, and if you see fit that you should confront him, and _not fight_ then you have my permission to do so."

I glanced over at Carlisle as he nodded in confirmation to Sam. "We will agree to your terms."

"What?" I spat incredulously, as Carlisle held up his hand, giving me his infamous gesture for immediate silence.

I turned back to Sam. "I will agree for now, but you _will_ change your mind about the fight."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Sam asked, curious.

I narrowed my eyes in all seriousness, ready to unload a secret I'd been carrying for too long. "Wouldn't you want to know if a pack member of yours was willing to trade your life in a deal? I asked.

"What are you talking about...my life?" Sam spat furiously, his body beginning to tremble. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that everyone had turned their gazes to me in bewilderment.

"Get Jacob, bring him here, and you will find out why he put your life on the line!" I demanded.

Sam bowed his chest up shaking furiously. "You leech!" he shouted "If you have anything to do with this you better tell me now!"

I shook my head laughing. "You really have no clue do you Sam?" I said, still shocked at his lack of knowledge. "If you want to know what's going on, then you need to ask Jacob!"

Sam shrieked. "JACOB?" he turned and looked at Quil. "Phase immediately and tell Paul to bring Jacob here NOW!" he spat.

We watched as Quil ran into the woods and phased, only to come back out a few short minutes later and return to Sam's side. "They're coming now." Quil said, speaking to no one specifically.

Shortly after, Paul and Jacob came running out of the woods. Jacob saw me right away, and his face twisted into extreme arrogance. He walked straight up to me and folded his arms across his chest. "What are _you_ doing here leech!" he spat, cocking his head to the side.

I balled my fists up at my sides, and sneered at him. "I'm here for you dog!" I said, fiercely.

"Oh yeah?" Jacob smirked. "What did I do now?"

"First off, I'm here to make sure that you _never_ touch Bella again!" I hissed. "And second, You might want to tell Sam, your Alpha, why you gave up his life in a bargain!"

Jacob's jaw dropped and his eyes widened in fear, as he froze in shock. I knew I had him, right where I wanted him, and in front of everyone that needed to know about his deal. The main person that should have known, but he failed to mention it to, was Bella. But she would know soon enough.

Sam spoke up, having waited long enough. "Yes Jacob! I'd like to know what this is about, and so help me, if I find out that you put my life at stake for any reason! I will kill you with my own bare hands!" he shouted furiously.

Jacob stumbled with his words. "I..d..don't know." he said nervously, not turning to answer Sam, but instead looking straight past me.

"YOU! Are a lying dog!" I spat in Jacob's face, trying to infuriate him.

Jacob just shook his head and threw up his hands in defeat, remaining silent.

I took a quick glance around and noticed everyone was watching us. I knew that I was going to be the only one that could make Jacob admit to what he did. The simple reason being, was that I'm the only one other than Victoria, that knew about his deal.

"Jacob, If you don't tell them about your deal with Victoria, then I will." I said calmly.

Upon hearing my words, everyone closed in on us, as hisses and growls were thrown Jacob's way

Jacob steadily refused to speak, so I made it easy for him."I guess they need to hear it from me then." I said casually, enjoying Jacob's fear.

I turned and faced everyone. "I saw this deal he made with Victoria, in her thoughts." I began. "He promised to deliver Bella to her alive, and in exchange, she would kill Sam for him, all he had to do was lure Sam away from the reservation and Victoria would do the rest. That way he could become Alpha and rule the pack as he sees fit." I shook my head in fury. "So, you see, Jacob was willing to trade both Bella's _and_ Sam's life, so he could have the glory of ruling the pack."

Jacob's body began to shake furiously, as Sam growled in his ear. "Is this true Jacob?!"

"No! He's a liar!" Jacob snapped.

I quickly moved into his face, and stood with him eye to eye. I didn't have to look down to make sure that I was standing on the very edge of the treaty line. I was doing this for a good reason, one that I hoped to execute soon enough. I knew that shortly, I would have Jacob furious enough to lunge at me, at which point I planned to take a step back allowing him to cross the treaty line.

"If you are what you claim to be, then prove to me I'm a liar dog." I said, viciously.

Jacob laughed arrogantly. "You wouldn't know what hit you leech!"

"Try me." I begged.

Jacob glanced over to Sam and then back to me.

Sam quickly spoke up slamming Jacob with his words. "Don't look at me you traitor, I won't protect you!"

"What are you waiting for Jacob?" I taunted, carefully keeping my eyes on Jacob. I didn't want him to phase before we fought. I wanted his human body to feel everything I was about to put him through.

I pushed my face closer into Jacob's, glaring my teeth. "I'm man enough to keep my word, are you?"

Right then I noticed that Jacob was starting loose control. I took a quick step to the side as he shot his fist out at me. I grabbed him by the wrist and slung him up into the air, slamming him into a tree causing it to snap half.

Jacob's body crumpled onto the ground with a loud thud. I dashed over to him and grabbed him up by the neck, forcing him into the air, digging my fingers into his flesh.

He tried to fight back by clawing at my hands, but I continued to hold him at bay. "You will never hurt Bella! EVER Again! Do you understand me dog?!" I snarled.

Jacob gargled in response, and I flew around, slamming his body back into the tree, causing it to crack in two.

I heard Carlisle yell out from behind me. "Edward stop! You're going to kill him!" but I ignored him.

I leaned in grabbing Jacob by the throat again, his body badly tangled into the tree. "You didn't answer me pup!" I hissed.

I shoved my hand into his jaw forcing his head back, his eyes barely open. "Answer me or I will kill you!"

Jacob let out a strained "Yes" before his eyes rolled back into his head. I quickly pulled him out of the tree and catapulted him across the treaty line, watching as he landed into a mangled heap.

"He's all yours now, finish him off if you want." I said, then turned and flew through the woods.

I wanted to go home and be with Bella, and even though she was the reason that Jacob laid in the middle of the woods, within inches of his life, I needed her to comfort me for doing it.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes**: This was definitely a fun chapter to write! I actually felt like I was kicking Jacob's butt myself lol. I hope you enjoyed it...and if you did please leave me a review! Thanks! :)

**Influence for this Chapter**: Song 'Broken Open' by Adam Lambert

**Coming Up**... Chapter 17


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes: **Something that Bella never expected is revealed to her, but it might not be what she was expecting.

_Don't break my heart  
Don't walk away  
Don't leave me lonely  
Running in place  
Waited so long  
To be here right now  
Sometimes things work out  
Don't ask me how  
Don't break my heart _

_~Lyrics from Emmy Rossum's 'Don't Break my Heart'_

* * *

**Chapter 17 :::Revelation:::**

Light kisses on my brow, then on my lips, caused me to awaken with a slow, lazy smile. Edward was looking down at me from where he was laying behind me. He had the full length of his body stretched out against my back, supporting himself with his elbow, and resting his head in his hand.

Edward's kisses had sent a spiraling of warmth throughout me. I pressed myself fully against him, letting him cradle me close as I savored the feel of his sleek chest against my back.

I yawned, stretching my arms above my head, oblivious to anything else. It felt good to wake up in his bed, so near to his comforting, loving arms.

Edward's eyes sparkled in a golden topaz as he smiled down at me. "Good morning, Love." he said softly, as he took his free hand and wrapped it around mine, interlocking our fingers.

"Good morning." I replied, meeting his gaze. "Have you been here all night?"

Edward nodded solemnly. "Yes, please forgive me for not leaving your side. I just..." he hesitated, searching for the right words. "I didn't want to be away from you, I don't think I could have endured the desolation."

I leaned my head partially away from him, my face masked in concern. "Edward...are you okay? What's wrong?"

Edward lowered his head, his expression intense. "I'll be fine, I just needed to be near you after what happened last night, I needed your comfort." he said, releasing my hand and running his fingers through his messy hair. "I wanted to hold the reason why I fight so hard in my arms."

I pulled myself up onto my elbows. "What do you mean after what happened last night? Are you talking about when we were uh...getting a little bit close? Are you regretting it?" I asked, confused.

"No Bella, I would never _ever_ regret being with you, touching you." Edward said with conviction, as he cupped his hand around my cheek, running his thumb across my bottom lip.

I reached up and placed my hand over his, enjoying the coolness of his touch. "Then what is it? Is this about Jacob?"

Edward nodded, but remained silent, locking his gaze into mine.

"What happened last night Edward? Are you going to tell me?" I asked, starting to panic.

Edward let out a somber sigh and pulled away from me, sitting up on the bed with his back turned to me. "I will tell you about what happened, when the time is right."

"No!" I said, shaking my head. "I want to know what happened right now!" I spat, as I pulled myself up onto my knees behind him.

"No Bella, now is not a good time."

"And when _will_ it be a good time?" I asked.

Edward turned his head to the side, his eyes not meeting mine. "When we're alone... I will tell you."

I nodded, knowing he couldn't see me and folded my hands into my lap, lowering my eyes to them.

Edward misread my silence and turned completely around to face me. "Do you hate me for going after him Bella?" he asked, cringing on the word 'hate'.

"Honestly?" I asked softly, without looking up at him.

"Yes, honestly."

I raised my gaze to his, "That depends on what you did." I said, wincing at my reply.

I could understand that Edward would want to protect me and go after Jacob. But I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something bad had happened to him. Not when I knew it was all my fault. If I would have noticed my bruises in time to at least cover them up or tell Alice that I couldn't come over, none of this would have happened. Edward wouldn't have found the need to seek Jacob out and harm him in whatever way he did.

I knew that something bad _had_ to have happened if Edward was uneasy with the subject, especially if he needed to wait and speak to me alone about it. What was it that he wanted to tell me that he didn't want anyone else around to hear? Obviously, everyone else in his family had knowledge of what occurred last night. Why was he leaving _me_ in the dark?

Edward reached out and took my hand into his. "Bella, all I can ask is for you to trust me right now. I know how you don't like to see anyone get hurt, but I have good reasons why I did what I did last night. You will understand when you find out the truth."

"Then tell me the truth now." I pleaded.

Edward shook his head slowly, lowering his eyes to our hands then back to me. "Now isn't the time. We don't need everyone listening to our conversation, it's going to be hard enough as it is."

I sighed in defeat, I knew that any amount of begging and pleading would not make him tell me anything. He wasn't going to budge.

My stomach growled out in hunger breaking the tension, and I laughed softly, placing my free hand on my belly to rub it. "I'm starving." I said, embarrassed.

Edward smirked and pulled me off the bed. "Come, let's go feed the human." and escorted me out of the room.

We made our way downstairs and into the kitchen where Esme already had breakfast waiting for me. She turned around and smiled at my arrival. "Good morning, Bella!"

I returned the smile and sat down at the table, Edward taking a seat beside me. "Good morning!" I replied. "The food smells great!"

"Why thank you!" Esme said beaming, and turned around with a plate full of eggs, bacon and toast and set it in front of me. "No, Thank _you_." I said, grateful, and immediately began digging in.

"Mmm...it smells so good!" I mumbled, my mouth half full as I watched Esme quickly leave the room. I assumed that she preferred not to watch me make a pig out of myself.

A stifled chuckle from beside me, caused me to turn. Edward was turning his nose up as he watched me eat. "What?" I asked, as I crammed a slice of bacon into my mouth. "You don't like watching me eat?"

Edward laughed, shaking his head. "No, it's not that, It's just hard to watch you eat human food, it's so disgusting!." he bantered.

"Well....would you prefer that I drink blood instead?" I teased.

Edwards playful smirk immediately dropped from his face."Bella." he said in disbelief.

"What?" I said innocently. "I'll be drinking it one day!"

"Bella!"

"What??" I said, incredulously. "Alice already told me she saw it happening!" I spat, and turned back to my plate, shrugging off his reaction.

Edward emitted a low growl as I finished off my breakfast and tossed my napkin into the plate. I sat back in my chair with my orange juice in my hand, debating if I had enough room to finish it off as well. I continued staring down at my glass as my thoughts replayed the conversation in Edward's bedroom earlier. I was not happy that he was keeping information from me.

I glanced over at Edward when a vengeful thought crossed my mind. I knew it would be cruel, but I honestly couldn't help myself. I was tired of being left out in the cold when it came to important information. I could just hear them all now, as I played a mocking version of the Cullen's voices in my head. _'Oh let's protect the fragile human!' _I knew I should be ashamed of myself, because I knew that they all really did care about me, but I wasn't.

I tilted my glass up and finished my orange juice, then turned to Edward to carry out my cruel idea.

"So," I said casually. "I've made my decision."

Edward, who had been watching me carefully the whole time, raised a perfect brow in curiosity. "Decision about what?" he asked.

"About us." I said, and stood up to take my dishes to the sink. I couldn't bare to look him in the eye, so I took my time moving across the kitchen as a diversion.

I heard Edward's breath hitch, and I caught his reflection in the kitchen window, as he ran his fingers through his hair and down his face. He seemed awfully worried.

"What do you mean about us?" he asked, his voice shaking. It was quite obvious that he knew what I was referring to, but for some reason he wanted to prolong my answer.

I placed my dishes into the sink and began running the dishwater, my heart sunk at his anxiety, but I continued moving forward with my awful plan.

"About us being an official couple again." I said softly, almost in a whisper. My heart actually sped up at the thought and I took a deep breath trying to relax, knowing he could hear it.

I turned off the water and glanced up, watching Edward's reflection as he stood up and moved around the table, stopping in front of it. He kept his distance in anticipation of my answer, seeming to be unsure of what I was going to say.

"What did you decide?" he asked, hesitantly.

I immediately considered stopping this, it was definitely cruel and watching his reaction was starting to crush me, he looked hopeful yet worried. Knowing that I put that tortured look on his face was killing me.

When I didn't answer him, Edward moved closer to me, reaching a hand out to touch me, but decided against it, and dropped it to his side.

"Bella?" he whispered, his velvet voice causing my pulse to race.

I should have known it was a stupid idea to get back at him for withholding information, I hadn't bargained for either of our reactions. I felt totally awful for doing this to him, but I forced my planned words out anyway.

"We'll discuss it later." I said, my voice breaking, and I began to hurriedly wash up the dishes to distract myself from my thoughts.

Suddenly, I felt a pair of strong hands on the sides of my shoulders, my heart fluttered as he moved them down my arms and into the dishwater, grabbing my hands into his.

Edwards breath on my neck caused my chest to tighten as he placed his body against mine, tenderly kissing my neck with his cool lips, trailing lightly up, stopping just behind my ear.

"Wh...What are you doing?" I gasped, desperately trying to steady myself.

Edward whispered softly in my ear. "I'm trying to sway you into giving me your answer now."

I realized that I had been leaning my head back into his chest and so I quickly raised it up, lowering my gaze to our hands as he pulled them out of the water. He interlocked our fingers and wrapped our arms together around my waist, pulling me into him tightly.

"This isn't helping you get your answer at all Edward." I whispered.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because we have others around that can hear us." I replied, using his own reason against him.

Edward chuckled softly. "Are you trying to get me back for not answering your questions about last night?" he asked, obviously on to me.

"No!" I snipped, without hesitation.

Edward continued to chuckle, I could feel him shaking his head behind me. "It's fine if you don't want to give me your answer right now, I'm actually okay with that."

"Uh..you are?" I asked, not understanding why he wasn't being pushy.

"Yes, I am."

"And _why_ are you okay with that?"

"Because I already know what your decision will be." He said confidently, turning me around to face him in his arms, and leaned in resting his forehead on mine.

"What?" I asked, incredulously. "What do you mean you already know?"

Edward's breath washed across my face, weakening my body. He hovered his lips over mine for a moment, making me suffer, then brought them up to my forehead and softly kissed me.

"Alice." he said, whispering against my forehead, his lips brushing against my skin as he spoke.

I quickly tried to recover from the tingle, that Edward had sent traveling down my spine with his touch. My mind was in no shape to hold a comprehensible conversation.

"What about Alice?" I asked, my rational thoughts having took flight. I reached up and twined my fingers through Edward's hair, raising my lips to meet his.

Edward brought his hands up from my waist, placing them on each side of my face, and pressed me into his lips, devouring mine passionately.

I broke my lips from his with the need for air. I lowered my hands to his chest, as I attempted to catch my breath, closing my eyes to steady myself.

"She's already seen it." Edward whispered, and I opened my eyes to look up at him.

"Seen what?" I asked, still dazed from our embrace.

Edward gazed down at me, his eyes sincere. "Alice...she saw us back together again. She already knows what decision you will make."

I remember blinking once, before my eyes fell from his in shock. _Shit!_ He already knew what my decision was going to be? I had set my own self up by going through with my cruel idea to pay him back. And this whole time, he had thought I was just confirming Alice's vision! _Shit!_ Of course Alice would have known, she had already told me that she'd seen me as one of them. I had no clue what to do next.

My own stupid plan had backfired on me, because I surely wasn't ready by any means, to commit to Edward yet. Now I knew the reason why he was being so passionate, he obviously had thought that I was afraid to tell him. But why would he think I would be afraid to say it?

Edward dropped his hands from my face, breaking me out of my thoughts. "What are you thinking?" he asked, curious.

I stumbled for an answer that would sound better than what I was really thinking. "I uh...was just wondering, where do we stand with each other now?" I asked, recognizing the fact it was my turn to ask this question. Hopefully, I would find out just how far into my hole, I had dug myself.

Edward took me into his arms, holding me tightly. "I would like to think that we stand together as a couple now." he said, and kissed the top of my head. "Unless you want to back out." he hesitantly added.

I took a deep breath and sighed against his chest. I had officially screwed my own self, betrayed my own heart, and let my feelings for this man overrule every reason I'd had to make him earn me back. The thought of telling him that I _did_ want to back out, pained my beating heart. There was no way on earth that I could possibly hurt him. Even though my own heart was put through the ringer, I couldn't do it to him. I could feel in my soul, that I was all he wanted.

All I could do now was to give him a chance, the benefit of the doubt. I could handle this, after all, I did create this situation. It shouldn't be much of a problem, being I didn't have to commit to anything else. I could always change my mind about becoming one of them too, nothing was written in stone. I was still in control of my own life.

I pulled my head away from Edward's chest and looked up at him. I could see that he wasn't quite overjoyed at the fact we were a couple now.

"What's wrong now?" I asked.

Edward raised his hand and cupped my cheek, rubbing his thumb against my cheekbone. "You never said if you wanted to back out or not."

Tears began to well up in my eyes as the thought crossed my mind to tell him that I did. I sighed and blinked my eyes trying to will them away, but they refused and began to slowly trickle down my cheeks. "I...don't...want...to." I said, my voice shaking with each word.

"You don't want to back out?" Edward asked making sure he had heard me correctly, and wiped away a tear that had streamed by his thumb.

"No." I whispered, hoping I didn't come to regret my answer later.

Edward responded without words. Looking down at me with passion in his eyes, his eager fingers twisted through my hair, forcing my lips to his.

But just as quickly as he had begun, he gently pulled away, laying my head against his chest. "My love." he groaned in a whisper against my cheek.

I felt his head turn towards the kitchen door and assumed that he must have heard someone nearby. I knew the rest of the family was still in the house, and I groaned at the fact that they now knew everything we had discussed.

I also knew, that I now had to play the role of the always doting girlfriend, thankful that Edward couldn't read my mind.

I heard the kitchen door open and I looked up to see that it was Alice. She was beaming ear to ear, as she made her way over to us.

"Oh my! I'm so happy for you two!" she chimed, clapping her hands together.

When I didn't respond she turned to Edward. "I told you it was going to happen!" she said presumptuously.

I just stood there staring at her dispassionately, my arms still wrapped around Edward, and he tightened his hold on me as if to shield me from her unnecessary outbursts.

"What is wrong with you two?" Alice asked, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Alice." Edward said, his voice low. "Now isn't the time."

I knew exactly what Edward meant. It had been a struggle for him to get me where we were now and he didn't want her overpowering joy of our reunion to cause me to change my mind. He was being extremely careful for some reason.

Alice looked to me with a confused expression. "Bella? Aren't you happy about it?" she asked.

I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted to run out of the house screaming. It was bad enough that I had forced my own hand at this, now having Alice chirp about it in my face, was not helping matters.

I pulled away from Edward, and cast my eyes towards the floor. "I need to go call Charlie and let him know I'll be home soon, so he doesn't worry." I said, using my excuse to get out of the kitchen from her curious glare. I'm sure she would know soon enough how I truly felt.

I turned and started to the door, when Alice put her hand out to stop me. "Hey, you don't have to worry about calling him." she piped.

I looked up at her baffled. "Why not?"

"Because I already called him and asked him if you could stay the weekend and he said yes!." she said, her angelic smile flashing her brilliantly white teeth. "Isn't that great?"

"What?" I said incredulously, my disbelief slowly turning into anger. "Why did you do that?" I spat.

Both Edward and Alice's expressions were priceless. They were both shocked with my reaction.

"Bella.." Edward said softly, walking towards me. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my forehead trying to ease my irritation.

"It's my fault." he admitted. "I asked Alice to call for me, I wanted to spend some time alone with you this weekend, so we could talk."

I nodded, remembering his promise to tell me about what had happened to Jacob when we were alone. "Okay, fine." I snipped. "But, all I ask is next time ask before you make plans for me."

"I will do that." Edward promised.

I pulled away from him and went out to the living room. I looked around, noticing that no one was around and sat down on the couch. I heard Edward and Alice bickering back and forth about something in the kitchen, so I figured it might be awhile before they came out to harass me. I had some time to think clearly for once and laid down on the couch pulling my knees into my body.

I knew that I had agreed to be with Edward, and I also knew that I loved him more than anything, but it was just hard to accept the fact that we were back together so soon. It wasn't supposed to be like this, it was supposed to happen differently. I had imagined him doing something heroic or painful, maybe even over the top romantic to earn me back. It wasn't supposed to have been by me trying to pay him back and setting myself up.

Hmm....

I did set my own self up.

I was an official idiot.

How would Edward ever realize just how much he had hurt me? And now, he would just assume that no matter what he did to me that I would always take him back. It wasn't that I was being a witch, It was just the principle that I was more concerned with.

I turned over on my back and pulled my cell phone out of my pocket to call Charlie. I wanted to confirm with him that it _was_ okay with him for me to stay the weekend here and see if he needed anything.

I was waiting for Charlie to pick up the phone when Emmett came through the garage door. He looked over at me with a large grin on his face.

"Hey Bella-Yella!" he chimed, as he walked over to me and sat down at the other end of the couch.

I closed my phone when Charlie didn't answer and looked down at Emmett. "What are you up to?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

He spun his car keys around on his finger and shook his head. "Nuttin much lil sis, nuttin much."

"Sounds interesting." I said sarcastically. "I hear you and Rosalie have a hot date tonight."

"Oh yeah! It's only _hot_ because I am ya know!" Emmett said, laughing at his own joke.

I rolled my eyes and laughed, feigning amusement. I shoved my cell phone back into my pocket and glanced behind me at the kitchen door wondering what was taking Edward so long.

Emmett's hand landing on my foot shaking it, brought my gaze back around to him. "So!" he said, grinning widely. "Did you find out if Jacob died or what? Did Sam finish him off?" he casually asked.

I sat straight up on the couch, panic setting in. "What?" I gasped. "What did you just say?" My head began to spin relentlessly, and I reached up and grabbed onto the back of the couch to steady myself.

"I..." he paused, becoming uneasy. "I...thought...that you knew about what happened last night." he said, obviously regretting having said anything.

About that time Edward came flying into the living room. "Emmett!" he yelled furiously, his fists balled up at his sides.

I turned to Edward, tears steadily streaming down my face and my chest heaving from lack of air. "Did....you _kill_ Jacob?"

* * *

**Chapter End Notes**: Thank you for reading! Please leave me a review and let me know your thoughts!

**Influence for this Chapter**: Song 'Don't Break my Heart' by Emmy Rossum

**Coming Up**...Chapter 18 'Truth' Find out if Edward finally tells Bella what really happened....and will he ever tell her about the deal, or continue to keep it a secret to protect her?


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes: **Will Edward tell Bella the truth, or will she stubbornly find a way to keep the truth at bay?

"_I love you, and because I love you, _

_I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth,_

_than adore me for telling you lies." _

_~Pietro Aretino~_

* * *

**Chapter 18 :::Truth:::**

I knew in my heart of hearts, that if Edward had in fact killed Jacob, I would never forgive him. Jacob had in no way deserved to die for what he'd done to me. His being forceful and leaving bruises on my wrists was certainly not worthy of a death sentence.

I watched as Edward fumbled to answer me, his face distraught. He kept glaring over at Emmett then back to me, running his hands through his hair.

I slowly pulled myself into a standing position, my legs weak, barely able to hold up my body and bore my eyes into Edward.

"Answer me Edward....Did you...kill Jacob?" I said through my tears, my chest tightening up on me.

Emmett jumped up, quickly leaving the room, as Edward moved closer to me, standing so close that I could feel his breath on my face. "I...I don't know Bella." he said, looking down at me with pain in his eyes.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" I spat, my voice barely audible and shaking.

Edward reached up and framed my face with his hands. "Bella--"

I cut him off as I pulled away from his hold. "Don't touch me!" I cried, and sat back down on the couch.

I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to contain the pain that was searing through my body. My head continued to spin at the though of Jacob possibly being dead.

Edward had remained standing in front of me, shocked and hurt that I had pulled away from him, watching me as I lowered my gaze to my lap.

"Bella, I have no idea if Jacob is dead or not. I swear to you, he was alive when I left him last night." he said sincerely, almost pleading.

I raised my head to look at him and narrowed my eyes in fury. "You _left_ him alive?" I said, incredulously. I couldn't believe that just because Jacob might have been still breathing when he left him, made everything better, or cleared him of any wrong doing.

Edward's face flashed with sudden confusion at my question. "Aren't you _happy_ that I left him alive?"

Of course I was happy that he had left him alive, but that didn't mean he couldn't have died later. I didn't know if he thought that I was supposed to be happy with that fact or not, which I wasn't, because it still didn't answer my question.

"That isn't what I meant Edward." I said, disdainful.

"Then what _did_ you mean?" he asked.

I couldn't believe that I actually had to explain myself, what was so hard about not understanding how he had implied such innocence with his statement?

I shifted my weight and pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. "What I meant was, how can you just stand there and act like everything is okay just because you left him alive? He could have always died later you know!" I spat.

"I know that Bella, I've already considered that."

I was so upset, and so worried if Jacob was alive or not, that I hadn't thought to ask what Edward had done to him, of how badly he had been hurt.

I hesitated, knowing that I might regret my question later, but I had to know. "Are you going to tell me what you did to him?"

Edward threw his hands up, as if what had happened between him and Jacob wasn't obvious enough. "I attacked him." he admitted.

I raised a brow at his sarcasm. "You attacked him? How?" I said, wiping the dampness of my leftover tears from my face.

"We fought... and I won." he said, bluntly.

I sighed and massaged my forehead, scowling. "This isn't about who won Edward, it's not like it was a competition!"

Edward moved to the couch next to me and sat down, leaning over, resting his arms on his knees. "It is most certainly about who won, and who didn't Bella. I had a point to prove and I believe that I more than proved it."

"That is so childish!" I criticized.

Edward widened his eyes at me. "Well, would you feel better if Jacob had won?"

"No!" I said, making an exasperated noise. "It's just that neither of you should have been hurt over this!"

"I didn't get hurt." he murmured.

I crossed my arms tightly and puffed out a breath. "You know what I mean Edward."

It was quite obvious that we weren't getting anywhere with this conversation. Edward was avoiding revealing specific facts to me for some reason, and what he was saying, wasn't easing my fears. I would have to figure out a way to get more information on what had really happened, maybe someone else in the family would tell me.

I leaned my head back on the couch and closed my eyes. I could hear Edward breathing nervously, as if he was anticipating the next round of my questioning. I began to run different scenarios of what could've possibly occurred, between the two. Nothing I conjured up seemed to make me feel any better, because no matter how I played it in my head, the outcome always gave me chills. I wanted Edward to tell me specifically what happened, but he was being so evasive.

I opened my eyes and shifted my gaze back to Edward. "I want you to tell me everything that happened. When you fought Jacob."

Edward leaned back on the couch and sighed, shaking his head. "There isn't anything to tell Bella, giving you specifics won't change things. Having knowledge of what I did to him will only incite your anger towards me, and cause us both pain that neither of us need. I think we both just need to focus on the fact that, what has been done was only to ensure that Jacob didn't harm you anymore."

"Harm me anymore? Edward, he's never done anything to hurt me before, and he's never had any intentions to!" I snipped, furious that he would imply that Jacob had ever aimed to harm me. "You fought Jacob for your own jealous reasons, not because of me!"

"You think that I fought Jacob because I was envious of him? Are you serious Bella?" he said in an offended tone. "My violent exchange with him had nothing to do with jealous rivalry, but everything to do with protecting you!"

"Protecting me?" I said incredulously. "What on earth could you have possibly been protecting me from?"

"I was protecting you from--" Edward began, before I cut him off.

"You know what Edward? I don't even want to hear whatever excuse you have, because nothing you say will make up for what you've done to Jacob!." I spat furiously.

"Bella--"

"No Edward!" I snapped, cutting him off again. "I don't want to hear it!"

I couldn't stand this anymore. I knew that Edward would sit here and claim that he was protecting me, just to try and make what he'd done to Jacob okay. There was absolutely no excuse for what he had done, no matter how great it sounded to him, or for whatever valid reason that he thought he had, it was not worth attacking him, and I didn't want to hear it.

Edward leaned forward on the couch, running his fingers through his golden hair. "Listen to me please, listen to what I have to say Bella! I'm begging you!" he pleaded, seeming quite anxious for me to hear his excuse.

I shook my head, rejecting his desperate attempt to ease his conscious. "I said, I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear excuses Edward!" I said, irritated that he wasn't listening to me.

Edward sat in disbelief of my outburst. I couldn't tell if he was more hurt or shocked at my behavior towards him, but I quickly decided that I didn't care.

Overwhelmed with not getting any answers to my questions, and Edward not hearing me, I stood up and walked to the front door, making my way outside. I wanted some fresh air, and needed to think things through. All of this had been a big shock and I needed to think clearly, I had to figure out what I was going to do.

Nothing Edward could tell me was going to ease the pain that I felt right now. In the past, it had been so easy just to run to him, knowing he would make things better. But now, Edward was the cause of my pain, yet again. I was back at square one with him, and it was again, something that I couldn't fix, it wasn't something that I had created, or a situation that a simple apology would cure. Edward had managed to damage our relationship even further because of his actions towards Jacob. There was no reason for me to even try with him, I couldn't even continue pretending that I wanted us to be a couple.

I had been pacing back and forth in the driveway, trying to figure things out, when I decided that a long walk would probably do me some good. I made my way to the end of the drive and started walking down the main road. Maybe I could release some of this negative energy, and even if it took a mile or ten miles until I felt better, then that's what I was going to do.

I was about a mile down the road when my cell phone started vibrating. I quickly pulled it out to see who was calling me, and discovered it was Edward. I shoved it back into my pocket, refusing to talk to him and continued walking.

There was no telling what he was calling me about. Maybe he had finally noticed that I was gone, or hadn't come back yet and was worried. I rolled my eyes at the sky, I was only kidding myself, he wasn't worried about me. If he had been truly worried about me or my feelings to start with, he would have never attacked Jacob. And, if I had been that important to him, all of this would have been prevented, I wouldn't be walking aimlessly down this road trying to figure things out.

I figured that since I was headed in the right direction, I'd just go ahead and walk back to my house. It might take me a while, but I would eventually get there. I was sure that Charlie was at work, so I wouldn't have any need to explain my early arrival when I was supposed to be staying with Alice for the weekend. There would also be no need to come up with a reason as to why I had walked home.

My walk was obviously doing me some good. I was now considering going to visit Jacob myself, and see with my own eyes if he was okay. I knew that he had to be alive, because I was very sure that Billy would have told Charlie by now, and then I would have received a phone call. But what if Jacob was dead and Billy didn't know how to explain it my Dad? Or what if Billy and the pack were trying to come up with an idea to explain away his absence? They could always say that he had run off somewhere, and just never talk about why he hadn't ever come back, but I couldn't see them doing that. I know that they would give Jacob a proper burial according to their customs, they wouldn't just pass his death off as if it were nothing.

My cell phone vibrating broke me from my reverie. I pulled it out and flipped it open, it was Edward again. I sighed and thought about answering it for a moment, but closed it and put it away.

It had been almost seconds after I had put my phone away that I heard the purr of a car behind me. I looked back and saw the silver Volvo, only to turn back around and continue walking. I scoffed at the idea that he had come to find me, wishing that he would have left me alone. I didn't want to be bothered, I was out here walking for a reason.

Edward pulled up beside me with the window rolled down, keeping the car at a slow roll to match my pace. I ignored him and kept walking.

"Bella..." Edward called out.

I happily ignored him and even tried to hasten my steps, but he just kept up along side me.

"Bella...Will you please stop ignoring me and get in the car?" he pleaded.

I shook my head and kept my gaze on the road in front of me. "No, Edward."

Edward sighed and tried again."Will you please get in the car Bella?"

I stopped and turned around looking at him through the window. "Why? Why should I get in the car? Will it solve anything?" I asked, curtly.

"I don't know." Edward stated. "But we can at least talk about this, we need to get things straightened out. You need to know the truth."

"I have all the truth I need." I scoffed, then turned away from the car, and started walking.

Edward continued driving the car slowly beside me. I glanced down and noticed how well he was able to keep the wheels in a straight line, never wavering. I was thankful that our roles weren't reversed and I was the one driving, knowing my clumsiness, I would have surely run over somebody.

I had walked a good fifty feet before Edward spoke again. "Bella, this is the last time I'm going to ask you, now please get in the car!" he said, becoming agitated.

I stopped and spun around on my heels facing the window. "Or what? What are you going to do if I don't?" I taunted.

"I will put you in the car myself!" he spat.

I huffed at his comment. "So there's a difference if _you _force me to do something that I don't want to do right? Is that how it works now Edward?"

"Yes there is a big difference, I happen to love you."

I laughed, shaking my head. "You love me?" I asked, incredulously.

"Yes, I do...You know I do!"

"Yeah well, good luck with that!" I spat, and turned back to the road, quickening my pace.

I listened as Edward slammed on the brakes, and pulled onto the side of the road behind me. I tried to move quickly knowing it made no sense to, he'd be beside me in a flash anyway. But maybe he would get the hint?

Nope.

He was at my side before I even finished my thought. "Bella, why are you being so stubborn?" he asked, walking beside me.

"I'm not!"

Edward gave a huge and very loud sigh, furrowing his brows in anxiety. "Are you going to tell me why you're doubting my love for you?"

I stopped and took a deep, calming breath, rubbing at my neck trying to release some of the built up tension. "I think it's kind of obvious Edward." I mumbled.

"How so?" he questioned, confused.

I looked up at Edward, my hand still on my neck. "Well, it's quite obvious that we shouldn't be together. I don't think things are going to work out between us after all." I stated, bluntly.

Pain narrowed Edward's liquid gold eyes, and etched itself across his face. "I guess I wasn't aware of your true feelings, as I never once doubted you." he said softly, his voice trembling, and turned to walk away.

"Edward!"

"What?" he called out over his shoulder, still walking back to his car.

"Can you take me home?" I asked, knowing he wouldn't leave me to stand on the side of the road, at least I hoped he wouldn't.

"Why do you want to go home, Bella? Have you tired of me so soon?" he said, apparently hurt.

"No!" I hesitated, knowing he wouldn't like my answer. "I want to get my truck... so I can go check on Jacob."

Edward stopped, frozen in his tracks, his back still turned to me. "That wouldn't be wise Bella." he advised.

I rolled my eyes, I had found myself doing this a lot today. "And why wouldn't it be?" I asked, sarcastically.

He finally turned around to face me, and by this time I had already caught up with him. "Because it's not safe to be around the pack right now, as I'm quite sure they probably have a lot to deal with at this time. Besides, I need to tell you everything_,_ so that you can make an informed decision on whether or not you go and see him. And if you still choose to, then you can take my car." he said, and climbed into the car.

I followed suit and retreated to the passenger seat. I sat back with my elbow resting on the door and my head in my hand.

Edward turned the car around in the middle of the road and started heading away from my house. "Where are we going?" I demanded to know.

"Back to my house. So we can finish our talk." he said, turning to glance at me to read my expression, then back to the road ahead.

"There's nothing to talk about." I mumbled, fixing my gaze to the roadside.

Edward sighed and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. "Bella, there are some very important things about Jacob that I need to tell you, things that I think you should know, and will make you view this whole situation a lot differently."

"Edward, as I've said before, you're view of Jacob is different than mine, and no matter what you say will change my mind about going to see him." I huffed, not understanding why Edward wouldn't give up, despite my constant refusal to listen to his nonsense.

He pulled into his driveway, putting the car in park and turned to me. "You really need to hear what I have to say, and then you can decide for yourself if it's true or not, but please just give me that, before you make a decision." he begged.

"No, I don't want to hear it!" I said, becoming annoyed at his persistence, and climbed out of the car, slamming the door behind me.

I leaned up against the car door with my arms folded across my chest. All I wanted to do was to go home, get my truck and go check on Jacob. I felt that I had a right to know about his welfare, he was after all, my best friend. Unless, of course, Edward somehow managed to put an end to that too.

Edward eventually got out of the car and moved to my side. He stood staring at me for the longest.

"What?" I asked, annoyed even more at his stare. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

Edward reached out and placed a calm hand on my shoulder. "Because I'm concerned, you just have me worried that you're going to end up getting yourself into trouble if you go to La Push, and I won't be able to be there to protect you." he said, as he stepped closer to me, moving his hand to my cheek.

"Don't!" I spat, and jerked away from his touch. "And don't just assume that I'm going to get into trouble if I go to La Push! Jacob would never harm me Edward! That's if he's even still alive!"

Edward lowered his hand to his side, but remained standing next to me. "I'm not assuming, Bella. I've been trying to tell you the truth all day and you won't listen to me, you keep pushing me away."

I shook my head in frustration, bringing a hand to my face. "And I've told you that I've had enough truth for one day, I have all the truth that I need."

"And what truth is that?" Edward asked.

"That you attacked Jacob, and that he might possibly be dead. Not to mention the fact that you don't even care, and that's why I'm going to go check on him and see for myself!" I said, curtly.

Edward stepped back and held his car keys out to me in the palm of his hand. "Here, take them and go."

I raised a single brow in confusion. "What?"

"If that's really what you want to do, then take my car and go see Jacob, I'm not going to stop you." Edward said, evidently going against his own will and better judgment.

I opened and closed my mouth not knowing what to say. I just stood there staring at him, shocked that he was actually serious.

"I love you regardless Bella, and I'm tired of trying. So please, take my keys..." he said softly, as he pulled my hand up and placed the keys in my palm, wrapping my fingers around them with his now empty hand. "Take my car, and go visit La Push. Call me if you need me."

Edward reached up and cupped his hands on my cheeks, pulling me into him and kissed my forehead.

"I love you..." he whispered, then turned and walked away.

I stood alone next to Edwards car, keys in my hand and nothing or no one standing in my way of going to see Jacob.

I walked around to the drivers side, climbing in and slid the keys into the ignition, turning it over. Edward's scent in the car was overwhelming now that I was alone in it, and I looked toward the living room window of the house and saw him watching me. I suddenly cursed my own self for hurting him so badly, when I knew that all he wanted to do, was to keep me safe.

Guilt came over me, and I began to debate within in my own heart, if Jacob was really worth all this.

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**Chapter End Notes**: Thank you for reading!! I appreciate so much all the awesome and inspiring reviews everyone is leaving!! It makes me work that much harder to crank these chapters out and not leave everyone hanging! :) Thank you so much!! :)

**Influence for this Chapter**: Song 'Truth Hurts' by Addictive Ft. Lil Kim

**Coming up**...Chapter 19 'Visit' Find out if Bella ever makes it to La Push!!


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author Notes:** I wanted to give a big THANK YOU to **JCLadybug**, for her awesome and inspiring reviews and her loyal support for my story! This Chapter is for her!

**::Warning::** This chapter contains a lemon. If you are not of the appropriate age to view such material please hit your back button now. I refuse to be responsible for the questions you will be bombarding your parents with later! **::Warning::**

**Story Notes:** Find out if Bella is able to reach La Push, and if Edward is really letting her go.

"_We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy."_

_~Walter Anderson~_

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**Chapter 19 :::Visit:::**

I sat in the car, the engine silently purring as I continued my debate. I didn't believe that Jacob was worth the frustration between Edward and I, but I had to know for myself if he was alive. And if Jacob was alive, I had to know that he was okay.

I glanced from the living room window where Edward was standing, down to the shifter. I knew that Edward really didn't want me going to see Jacob, and that I would probably create even more chaos between us by doing so, but nothing was going to stop me. If Edward really didn't want me to go, he shouldn't have handed me the keys to his car.

My fingers curled around the shifter and I pulled it into reverse. I backed the car up and glanced up into the rear view mirror, noticing that Edward wasn't in the window anymore. _Oh well_. I thought to myself, and put the car in drive. I slowly drove away from the house, almost expecting to see Edward pop out of nowhere to stop me. But once I made it to the end of the driveway, I pulled out and hit the gas, traveling in the direction of La Push.

My stomach began to turn in knots as I drove down the main road. I was anxious to see Jacob, but was worried about what I might find. I silently hoped that I would be able to endure whatever I was about to see, because from what Edward had insinuated about their fight, it wasn't going to be pretty. But, I decided to convince myself now, that as long as he was alive, that everything would eventually be okay.

I glanced out at the sky above me, noticing that it was overcast. I knew it would be getting dark soon, and I was hoping to get to La Push, and then back to Edward's house before nightfall. I didn't have any specific reason really, it just seemed a bit creepy going to visit Jacob in Edward's car, and I didn't want to stay long.

The thought of Billy crossed my mind, wondering to myself of how he must have handled the situation with Jacob, and I also hoped that he was coping well with whatever the outcome had been. I was quite sure that he wasn't happy at all with Edward, and I wasn't sure if he'd be happy with me coming to visit either.

I decided that a phone call to Billy first, to warn him that I was coming to visit, would be the right thing to do. I knew Billy wouldn't turn me away, but it was only right that I call and make sure that I was welcome there. It would definitely ease my own conscious, knowing that I was the reason all of this had happened in the first place.

With my eyes on the road, I fumbled in my pocket, pulling out my cell phone. I flipped it open and hit the number two holding it down; speed dial for Jacob's house.

Anxiously biting at my lower lip, I waited for Billy to answer. When the ringing stopped, the voice mail picked up and I left a quick message letting him know that I wanted to check on Jacob.

I flipped my phone closed and threw it into the seat next to me. I ran different ideas through my mind as to why he didn't answer his phone, hoping that he was maybe occupied with Jacob or possibly could have been outside. I didn't want to think the worst.

My phone rang out, singing the special tone I had set for Jacob. I tried reaching for it, realizing that I had thrown it too far and had to pull over to the side of the road to safely retrieve it.

By the time I answered it, Billy had hung up. I shook my head as I quickly called him back, noticing that my hands were trembling with anxiety.

The phone picked up on Billy's end. "Hello?"

"Billy!" I cried, my voice shaking. "Sorry I missed your call, I couldn't to get to my phone in time."

I heard a deep cough rattle through the phone. "This isn't Billy," he paused. "This is Sam".

I wondered why Sam was answering Billy's phone, this made no sense. "Oh, uh...okay...Hi Sam, this is Bella... is Billy there?" I asked, feeling awkward.

"Yes, Billy's here. What do you want Bella?" he asked, his voice stern.

"I uh...wanted to talk to Billy."

"Billy is busy right now, what do you want?" he asked again.

"I just wanted to let Billy know that I was going to come by and see Jacob." I said, casually, not understanding the reason for his cautious tone.

"There's no need to check on Jacob, he's fine."

"So he's alive?" I asked, reiterating his underlying message. I was overjoyed that Jacob wasn't dead.

"Yes Bella, he's alive. He's still healing, but I'm positive he'll be fine."

Regardless of this good news, I was still going to see Jacob. "Well, that's great news! I'm on my way now, so I should be there in a few minutes."

"Yes... I know." Sam said, curtly.

Sam's tone made me overly suspicious. "You know what? That I was already on my way there?"

"Yes."

"How did you know that?"

"Edward called and told me, and I agree with him. Now is not a good time for you to be here."

"Edward told you?" I asked, incredulously.

"Yes, Bella. And I think you should turn _his_ car around, and go back home to _him_."

"What? How do you know I'm driving Edward's car?" I spat, furious.

"Go home Bella, and talk to Edward. You don't belong here." Sam said, and hung up the phone.

I sat in shocked silence, my jaw dropped open, staring at my phone. I didn't know if I was more furious at Sam for denying my visit or for Edward calling him.

I closed my phone and dropped it in my lap, then grabbed the steering wheel and leaned my head against it in frustration. My attempt at visiting Jacob had been thwarted, not only by Edward, but Sam as well. And for some reason that I was clueless to, Edward had been able to convince Sam to stop me. With everything that had happened, Sam should have been the main person other than Jacob, that shouldn't have had anything to do with Edward.

Wanting to have some answers, I put the car in drive and spun it around, headed back to Edward's house.

I knew something wasn't right, the interaction between Edward and Sam was ludicrous, it wasn't supposed to be. They were supposed to be enemies, and enemies didn't make phone calls to each other out of the blue for favors. I knew Edward had to have asked him to keep me from seeing Jacob, but why? I couldn't figure out for the life of me why he would willingly let me go, just to stop me in the end. There had to be more to this, there was obviously more to this fight than what lied on the surface.

I pulled into the driveway and slowed the car down to a crawl. I inhaled deeply and held my breath, counting to ten. I was attempting to calm myself so I didn't fly out of the car chewing Edward a new ass. I wanted to be cool, calm and collected, because I knew if I wasn't, he most probably wouldn't answer my questions. After all, I hadn't listened to him earlier, so why would I expect him to hear me out now.

I drove up to the garage, noticing that all the vehicles were gone, and put the car in park. I saw something move out of the corner of my eye and looked up, it was Edward, he was already standing beside the garage, waiting for me.

I remained in the car and tried to read his expression. I wanted to predetermine if he was mad at me, but I couldn't get anything from him. His body language told me that he seemed to be calm and a bit relieved that I was back. I could work with this, but needed to keep my temper in check.

I sighed and pulled the keys out of the ignition, then reached out to put my hand on the door handle. But before I could open it up myself, Edward was there opening it for me.

Still in my seat, I looked up at him through the open door. He was still expressionless but held out his hand in a gesture to help me from the car.

"I've got it, thanks." I mumbled, trying to keep in mind that I needed to remain calm. I disregarded his attempt at being a gentleman, and climbed out of the car on my own.

"Are you okay Bella?" Edward asked, hurt flashing across his face at my indifference, and lowered his ignored hand to his side.

I held his car keys out to him and lightly flicked my wrist, motioning for him to take them. "I don't know Edward, what do you think?" I muttered, sarcastically.

He took the keys and shoved them into his pocket. "I would have to assume that you are mad at me." he said, trying to get my attention with his eyes.

I shifted my gaze towards the ground. "Yes, that would definitely be a safe assumption." I said, and crossed my arms against my chest to prove my contempt.

Edward took a step closer, and placed a cool hand on my shoulder, sending shivers up my spine. "What can I do to make things better?"

"Well first of all, you can tell me why you called Sam." I blurted out, feeling a bit uneasy at his touch.

Edward lowered his hand, and ran his fingers down my arm, causing my breath to hitch. He stopped at my hand, and pulled it into his. "I called Sam because I knew it wasn't safe for you to visit Jacob, I wanted to let him know that you were coming."

"Why did you do that?" I asked, glancing at our hands, then up to him. "Why did you have to call and tell Sam of all people?"

"Because Sam is the Alpha, he's Jacob's leader, and I knew that he was the only one that would be able to stop you." Edward admitted.

"Stop me?" I asked, shocked. "Why would you give me your car and let me go, only to stop me anyway? That doesn't make any sense Edward."

"It's makes a lot of sense." Edward began. "I let you go because I didn't want you to feel like I was trying to control you, or trying to take away your free will. But I also knew that it would be unsafe for you to visit Jacob after everything that has happened, so I called Sam after you left here, and asked him to stop you if you showed up."

Uncomfortable with my tension over the situation, I pulled my hand away from Edward and dropped it to my side. "So, basically you had it planned the whole time, to call Sam after I left so he'd stop me. And that's why you let me leave so easily."

Edward looked at me for a moment then nodded. "Yes."

"Well, I never did show up if it makes you feel any better." I spat, moving my arms back across my chest. "I had called Billy to let him know that I was on my way, but Sam answered instead and told me that you had called him, so I just turned around and came back."

"I know."

"How do you know that Edward?"

"I followed you."

"What? Why did you follow me?" I asked, incredulously.

"Because, it's my job to keep you safe, and as I've said a million times Bella, it is not safe to be around Jacob. I had plans to follow you all the way to the reservation, regardless of the treaty."

"Edward," I sighed, frustrated. "I'm tired of you having the constant need to protect me. I can manage quite well all by myself."

Edward didn't seem to look too convinced at my verbal theatrics. "I'm not so sure about that Bella."

I shook my head in defiance. "Oh really? Well it sure seems like I managed just fine when you left me to fend for my own self!" I snapped, throwing my hands up in the air. "You sure as hell didn't feel the need to protect me then did you?"

Edward lowered his gaze and took a step back away from me. "That is a cruel thing to say Bella, you have absolutely no idea."

"Well, it's true isn't it?"

He reached up and grabbed the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes tightly. "Since I make you this unhappy Bella," he paused, looking back to me, his eyes pained. "Would you prefer that I just go away and stay out of your life for good? Just say the word, and I will go."

My chest automatically tightened up in response to his words. Of course I didn't want Edward to leave me again, I wouldn't be able to handle it this time. "No, I don't want you to go away Edward!"

"Why not? You don't seem to like anything that I do for you." he said, weakly.

Oh, this was so frustrating, not only had we been a couple for less than a day, but now he was threatening to leave me again. "I thought you said that you would never leave me again!" I cried, tears falling freely down my cheeks. He had hit a weak spot, and he knew it.

Edward moved to my side and took me into his arms, holding me tightly. "Bella, I never said that I was going to leave you. I only asked if _you_ wanted me to leave. You just act like I'm more of a nuisance in your life than any help at all. I don't know what to do anymore, you really need to figure out what is that you want."

"I want you!" I muttered into his chest.

"Bella, you said just earlier that you didn't think we should even be together." he stated, moving his hands up to the back of my head and pulling me away to look at me. "You are seriously driving me crazy with this. Will you please make up your mind either way?" he pleaded.

I nodded in response and reached up wrapping my arms around his neck. I pulled myself into him and cried into his chest. "I want you Edward, I'm so sorry for being hateful, and pretending that you don't matter. I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to apologize." he said softly, as he pulled back and reached up, wiping the tears from my face. "But we do need to talk. I need to tell you the truth about why I attacked Jacob, it wasn't just over him putting bruises on your wrists Bella, there were other reasons, and I think that you really should hear me out."

"What other reasons were there?" I asked, curious.

"I think we should discuss this inside. So, why don't we go in the house and get you settled, and then we'll talk." he turned as I nodded, and put his arm around my waist, pulling me along with him towards the house.

Once inside, Edward wandered off, so I went into the kitchen to pour myself something to drink. I began looking around to see if Esme had left some orange juice from breakfast earlier. I walked to the fridge and opened it up as Edward walked in.

"I was wondering where you went." he said as he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Um, yeah...I was thirsty, so I was looking for something to drink."

"Find anything?" he asked, as he began kissing the side of my neck. "Because I know I did!"

I jerked away from him, hitting my head on the refrigerator door in the process. "Ow!" I cried in pain, rubbing the side of my head.

Edward immediately put his hand to my head, trying to soothe it. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know you would react like that!"

"It's okay." I said, wincing. "I wasn't expecting you to say something like that!"

Edward chuckled lightly. "Yeah, I guess it _was_ a little frightening."

"I wasn't scared, you just caught me off guard is all." I moved away from the fridge, forgetting about my thirst and went out into the living room.

I looked around noticing no one was around, and remembered all the vehicles had been gone when I drove up earlier. I turned to Edward who was now beside me. "Where is everyone at?"

"They all went out. I guess tonight was date night for everybody." he said, shrugging his shoulders, and reached out grabbing my hand, pulling me to the stairs with him.

"Except for us huh?" I asked, as I climbed the steps, following Edward.

"Well, we can always have one." he paused, uncertain. "If you want that is."

I laughed softly, a bit nervous. "Yeah, I guess we can."

"We will do that then." Edward said, as he pulled me into his bedroom. "But we're going to talk before we do anything else."

I let go of Edward's hand and moved across his bedroom, sitting down on the bed. I crossed one leg underneath me and supported my weight with my palms outstretched on either side of me.

"Are you going to tell me? You know, what other reasons you had for fighting Jacob?"

Edward flitted to my side, sitting down next to me. He picked up my hand and held it in between his, locking his thumb around mine.

"Yes, but it's going to be a lot of information that I am going to be unloading on you at one time, so I if you have any questions, just stop me."

I nodded in confirmation and he began. Edward told me about how Alice had called him and told him about my feat with the cliff, and how she had seen Victoria, which caused him to return to Forks. He then informed me about everything that had happened from the moment he had arrived until before his fight with Jacob.

I remained silent for the longest time, processing all of the information Edward had just given me. I couldn't believe that he had been protecting me in the way that he had this entire time.

"So, you've been protecting me from Jacob because he wouldn't tell me you were back and let me decide for myself who I wanted?" I asked, confused. That really didn't sound like a valid reason to me.

Edward shook his head. "No, I left that information for last, because I need you to promise me that you will remain calm, and not try to go and do something stupid."

"I promise I won't, just tell me Edward." I pleaded.

"When I confronted Victoria in your bedroom, I saw Jacob in her thoughts." he began. "I saw where Jacob had made a deal with her, and it concerned you and Sam."

"What?" I spat, incredulously.

"Bella, please, just hear me out first." Having my attention again, he continued, and told me about the entire deal that Jacob had made with Victoria.

"Jacob did that? Jacob put my life on the line just so he could be Alpha?" I shouted, furious. I stood up crossing the room and began pacing. "I can't believe he would do that! That just isn't possible! Jacob wouldn't do that to me!" I spat, through my teeth. I raised my hands to my face and rubbed my temples in disbelief.

Edward stood up and came to my side, trying to calm me. "It's true Bella, Jacob made that deal with Victoria, and that's why I fought him, he didn't want to admit it to us or Sam and the others that were there that night. But, Sam knew it was true because Jacob wouldn't deny it either, that's why Sam and I are able to get along. He didn't try to stop me, because he knew he owed me."

I shook my head in shocked fury. "I just can't believe that Jacob would do all of this! Was he planning on this before you ever came back?"

"Yes." Edward stated, sharply.

"Ugh! I'm so pissed Edward!" I shouted, rubbing my forehead. "And I've been doubting you this whole time! I've been trying to push you away, when all you've been trying to do was protect me! Ugh! I feel so stupid!" I cried, and made my way back to the bed, falling back on it, ashamed of myself for not having trusted Edward.

"Bella," Edward said softly, as he joined me. "You are not stupid, by any means. I just should have told you the truth about the deal earlier, and I didn't. So please, don't feel that any of this is your fault, as you've done nothing wrong! If you need to blame someone for how you feel, blame me."

I covered my hands over my face and took in a deep breath, then exhaled slowly, attempting to relax myself. "I'm not blaming you for anything Edward, none of this is our fault, it's Jacob's. I should have trusted you, and I didn't. I owe you an apology."

"You don't owe me anything Bella, as long as I have you that is all that matters to me." Edward said sweetly, as he moved my hands from my face.

I looked up at Edward who was now hovering over my face and locked my gaze with his. "You do have me, and I am sorry, I'm sorry for everything." I said softly, then added in a whisper only he could hear, "I love you Edward, I love you so much."

Edward drew me roughly into his arms, causing my breath to hitch, and whispered into my ear. "I love you too Bella, for you see, each day I love you even more. Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. You are the reason I exist."

Suddenly, our frantic lips met, hands seeking out each other's bodies as Edward urged me beneath him. He reached down grasping at my sweater and pulled it up, taking it off and tossing it onto the floor behind him.

Our gazes locked briefly, his eyes hypnotizing me into wanting him more and more by the moment, and searching mine for permission to continue further. I reached up and wrapped my fingers into his hair, as he willingly let me force his head to mine, and crushed my lips into his; my body telling him I wanted this.

Edwards fingers were eliciting fire along my flesh as he began inching his unsupervised hand behind me to unfasten my bra and removed it. My breathing was shallow; my heartbeat erratic.

His hands trembled as they sought and found my breasts. Stiffened peaks crushing into the palms of his hands. I closed my eyes and gasped with passion as his lips moved to cover a breast, caressing it so softly with his cool tongue.

I reached down and began pulling at his shirt, trying to take it off of him in my frenzied passion. Edward quickly stood up and ripped it off, dropping it beside him, then slipped out of his pants and kicked them away. I immediately began unbuttoning my jeans and he reached out to help me slide out of them, tossing them aside.

He climbed back on top of me and began kissing me with a fierce possessive passion. I felt myself growing more limp within his arms and heard quivering moans surfacing from deep within me. He reached down with his hand and eased my thighs apart, lowering his manhood toward my beckoning triangle. He drew a ragged breath as he began to softly probe, all the while still kissing me. The power of his body preparing me for the upcoming brief moment of pain that would come with fully loving him.

I had not been prepared for this intense sort of passion being with Edward was evoking. A flood of emotions filled my being. I laced my arms about his neck and responded to all his nuances of lovemaking, even the hardness of his manhood against my thigh. It seemed natural. It seemed right. I had waited for so long for this moment. I would savor it. Every moment...

Edward's hand sought the roundness of my hips. Stroking their utter softness, he encouraged me to lift them closer to him as he sank himself slowly into my womanly depths.

Only a faint outcry of pain, and then I closed my eyes and let the euphoria swim through me. I clung to him. A cool sensation touched my insides as his lips now went from breast to breast while he moved within me with faster, quicker, surer movements.

I answered the call of his body with movements of my own, blotting out any feelings of shame for experiencing such an intimate moment with the man I loved. He was sending me into a world that included only the two of us. All pain...all sorrow...was beyond reach. I welcomed this realm of reality that perhaps never could have been.

The warmth blossomed inside of me as Edward continued his masterful strokes within me. His lips sought my mouth. His kisses bruised my lips. His fingers tweaked my crested nipples to hardness. His hard body against mine revealing that his passions were cresting to match mine.

A tremor went through my body and I cried out softly against his lips when something wonderful spread throughout me as his body lurched and he groaned. Together, we had reached that peak of swimming senses and lethargic floatings.

My insides were warmed and pleasant as Edward looked down at me with passion-filled eyes. A look of utter devotion and love swept across his face. "I love you Bella, please promise me that you will never leave me." he whispered, his trembling breath cool against my cheek.

I forced my words out, trying to catch my breath. "I'm never leaving your side Edward." I promised.

Edward smiled and kissed me tenderly, lingering for a moment as he leaned his forehead against mine. He then pulled away from me and tugged at the covers, pulling them down, and moved underneath them, motioning for me to join him as he held the covers back.

I smiled and climbed underneath the covers with him, backing my naked body up against him, curving my body into the shape of his. I pressed against his manhood with my buttocks causing him to let out a sharp gasp.

"You shouldn't do that." he whispered into my ear.

"Why not?"

"Because there might be a round two if you keep that up."

I laughed and pulled his arm tighter around me letting the coolness of his body refresh me. I listened as Edward leaned in and began humming my lullaby softly in my ear.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes**: Well, I hope you enjoyed some Bella and Edward love!! And Mr. Edward stopped her after all, and he had been planning to do it the whole time! As my saying goes..."Never judge a story by it's chapter!" lol....Thank you for all of your inspiring reviews, everyone has been great with their thoughts and suggestions. I am very grateful!! Leave me a review if you were as surprised as I'd hoped you would be! :)

**Coming Up**... Chapter 20 'Together' Will Bella focus more on her new feelings and new found intimacy between her and Edward or will she dwell on the new information she has about Jacob. Find out which is actually more important to her at this stage. And what does the sneaky, amorous Edward have up his sleeve?


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author Notes**: So I watched 'Valentine's Day' yesterday online and found it to be pretty good! Taylor Lautner had a small role alongside Taylor Swift that actually proved to be funny. TS outdid herself! lol

Don't forget!...That 'Remember Me' with Robert Pattinson comes out on March 12...I watched the behind-the-scenes trailer and this I have to see!

Also!...Pre-Order your 'New Moon' Special Fan Edition. Set for a March 20 release, which includes special footage from the 'Eclipse' movie and a documentary about the real people/town of Forks.

For the links to all I've mentioned above, check out my profile! :)

**Story Notes:** Will Bella focus more on her new feelings and new found intimacy between her and Edward or will she dwell on the new information she has about Jacob. Find out which is actually more important to her at this stage. And what does the sneaky, amorous Edward have up his sleeve?

* * *

**Chapter 20 :::Together:::**

I fluttered my lashes trying to adjust my eyes to the bright sunlight in the bedroom. I took in a deep breath, inhaling Edward's sweet scent and smiled to myself, as the night before came reeling through my mind.

Not feeling Edward behind me, I stretched out my hand and rolled over to his spot, finding it empty. I opened my eyes further, searching the room, and discovered that I was alone. I frowned at his absence and climbed out the bed, throwing my clothes on. Edward had at least been kind enough to gather my clothing that had been scattered around the room and had them nicely folded up at the foot of the bed.

I left his bedroom and headed over to the guest bedroom to take a shower. I rummaged through my bag, grabbing what I thought would work, rather what would be comfortable and walked into the bathroom, starting the shower.

I quickly undressed and stepped in, letting the hot water run over my body and began washing up. At least I had some time to think alone and let what had happened between Edward and I last night finally sink in.

I couldn't believe that we had actually and finally been intimate. It had happened so soon, so quickly. Of all the times I had imagined how it would have been for us, or if it even would ever happen, and it was nothing at all what I had expected. I was surprised that Edward had gone through with it, and not having been worried at all about hurting me.

Replaying the thought of Edward and I being together the night before, caused my body to shudder. I closed my eyes and saw his lips, eyes, and hands all over me, devouring me. I ducked my head underneath the water to try and drown my thoughts and heard my heartbeat pounding erratically. I put my hand to my chest to cover where my heart sat, feeling like it was going to pound straight out of my chest.

I quickly washed my hair, trying to bring myself back to reality. I had to clearly put these thoughts to the side or I wouldn't be able to function properly around Edward. I also hoped it wouldn't be awkward for us being around each other, now that this had happened. Regardless though, of how awkward it might be, I really didn't care, I just knew that I wanted it to happen again, and again....and again.

I smiled to myself and turned the water off, stepping out of the shower and dried off. I did a quick blow dry on my hair to get the dampness out and noticed my body was a bit stiff and sore. I flexed my muscles and stretched my body out and didn't notice any hard bruises. _No damage done!_ I thought to myself, actually relieved.

I pulled on my pair of dark, faded denim jeans. They were a bit ragged but they were definitely comfortable. I threw on my black tank top, and then layered it with a light cotton; long sleeve, blue sweater. It was an older sweater, but I loved the fact that it was a v-neck and not too tight. I reached down and pulled the sleeves up to my elbows, noticing that the bruises on my wrists from Jacob were finally starting to turn.

I quickly pulled the sleeves back down over my wrists, tucking the ends into my palms, grasping them with my fingers. I put my hair up in a loose ponytail, letting some of my bangs fall around my face and took a deep breath to relax, it was time to go find where Edward had run off to.

I gave myself a once over in the floor-length mirror and took off to search for my....my...what was he to me? This would definitely be something we had to discuss. I walked out of the bedroom and started down the hallway. I heard voices coming from the first floor, but didn't recognize any of them as Edward's. Alice was definitely happy about something, as she was chirping away in her high pitched voice.

I arrived at the second floor and saw the library door was cracked open. I walked up to it and peeked in, seeing Edward kicked back on the black leather, chaise lounge, reading a book. I pushed the door open and he looked up at me in response, almost surprised.

"Good morning." I said, walking over to him and stopped by his side.

Edward smiled, causing his golden eyes to light up. "Good morning love." He sat up reaching out, and took my hand in his, pulling me down to sit beside him.

I positioned myself against him, and placed a hand on his thigh. "You weren't there when I woke up this morning." I said, looking up at him through my lashes.

Edward turned to me to speak, his cool breath washing across my face, causing my heart to pound against my chest as it had in the shower.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Carlisle wanted to speak with me, we had some plans to discuss."

I nodded knowing it had to have been important for Edward to leave my side. I turned my gaze towards Carlisle's desk in front of me, trying to focus my attention elsewhere so my heart would calm down. I knew Edward could hear it, and I didn't want to seem like I was an over-zealous, hormone crazy...uh...whatever I was.

I quickly shifted my thoughts back to what was more important at the moment. "What plans did you have to discuss...if you don't mind me asking?"

"He wanted to speak with me about Victoria." he paused, leaning forward to get my attention."They were tracking her last night, near your house."

"I guess she isn't going to leave until she finally has me." I said, fear creeping through my body. "So, what is the plan?"

"We're going to wait for Alice, to see if she has a vision of what her next move is. Victoria has been laying low and hasn't made any decisions yet, so we have to wait until she finally does....And then we'll make our move." Edward said, as he put his book to the side and pulled me into his arms. "But I don't want you to worry, someone will be with you at all times until she's dead."

I leaned my head onto Edward's shoulder and sighed, remembering how the fight had gone with James. Thoughts of the fight and him being ripped apart and burned, flashed through my mind. James' attack on me and biting my wrist caused my scar to burn, I lifted my arm up and ran my finger over the scar trying to cool it. I shook my head wondering what kind of souvenir Victoria was going to leave for me.

Edward grabbed my hands into his, pulling my attention to him. "Stop it Bella, I don't have to be able to read your mind to know what you're thinking. Victoria, isn't going to hurt you. You're not leaving my side until this is over with."

"Edward, I....can't..." I paused, not knowing how to sort my words properly. I knew how I felt about Edward, but that didn't mean that I could remain with him twenty-four seven until Victoria was dead. It just wasn't possible. Charlie didn't know that Edward was back, and I was quite sure that when he did find out, there would be no way he would allow him at my house.

"You can't, what?" Edward asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

"I can't be with you...all the time, you know this. I don't think Charlie would even let you in the house when he finds out that your back. Besides, you already said that someone will be with me at all times until Victoria is dead, so...I think I'll be okay." I said, trying to reassure him instead.

"No, Bella. When I said that someone would be with you...I meant me. I'll find a way to fix things, it's what you have asked of me to do anyway. Just leave this to me and I will handle it...okay?"

I nodded knowing it wasn't worth arguing with him over. But I would still have to deal with Charlie.

"So," I asked, trying to change the subject. "What are we doing today? Do I finally get to go shopping with Alice before I go home?" I said, rolling my eyes and feigning the enjoyment of shopping.

Edward laughed at my expression and shook his head. "No, no shopping with Alice today, but she does have some new clothes to give you for your cover story."

"Are _we_ doing something then?"

"Yes," he said softly. "I have some plans for us." He smiled and then leaned in to kiss my forehead, but I tilted my head back and caught him on the lips instead.

Edward smirked at my attempt for his affection and willingly obliged, kissing me so softly I thought I would melt. He reached up and put his hands on either side of my face, holding it gently and ran his thumb over my bottom lip, pushing it down softly, drawing it in between his cool lips.

Without thinking, I climbed onto my knees and wrapped my arms around Edward's neck pushing him back. I was surprised with my own audaciousness, but didn't care. I wanted Edward...right here...right now. And, I couldn't believe, that he was letting me.

I straddled his groin and began devouring his lips feverishly, he didn't fight me, he responded to my advances with even more intensity, running his hands underneath my shirt and up my back, pressing my body into him.

I rocked my hips and moved my lips from his, making my way down to his throat, my breath trembling from desire. He slid his hands down and firmly grabbed my ass, lifting his groin and pushing his hardness that was hidden beneath his jeans, into mine, causing a soft moan of ecstasy to escape from his lips.

I ran my lips back up his throat and around to his ear, whispering softly. "Edward, I want you...I need you."

He ran his hands up my back and tangled his fingers into my hair. He turned his head to lock his gaze with mine, panting, his eyes filled with his need for me. "Bella...we can't." he gasped. "Not here, not when _everyone_ can hear."

My eyes widened at the thought of the others hearing us. I had forgotten all about them, a house full of vampires with super-freaking-sonic hearing, would definitely hear us. _Shit!_ I groaned softly and lowered my head to rest on Edward's chest.

"I forgot all about that!" I said, half embarrassed, knowing they had already heard enough.

Edward chuckled lightly, "It's okay, I don't think we did too much damage." he said, as he slowly began rolling me off of him. "But I do need to think about something else, maybe like eating dirt or human food." he grimaced.

"Why would you want to think about something like that?" I asked, clueless. Then discovered why as my thigh brushed against his hard manhood, and I moved completely off of him. "Oh!" I muttered, feeling my blood rush to my face. "Never mind that question." I said, sheepishly.

Edward laughed and sat up, pulling me into his arms. "I love you Bella, you are too cute when you blush." then softly kissed the top of my head, breathing me in.

I laughed nervously, then pulled away looking up at him. "So, what plans did you have for us today?"

"Well, it's a surprise but..." he said, as my stomach let out a horrific growl, causing us both to laugh.

I nodded my head in affirmation. "I know, I know, time to feed the human." I laughed, and stood up smoothing out the tiny wrinkles in my jeans and straightening up my tank and sweater. "Will you tell me more about it while I eat? Or do you not want to watch this time?"

"I will accompany you to the kitchen, but I don't have to watch you eat!" Edward said, playfully. Then grabbed me by the hand and led me downstairs.

I had said my 'Good Morning's' to everyone in the living room before entering the kitchen and hadn't really noticed anyone giving us a strange look for what had occurred earlier in the library, but that still didn't mean that there wouldn't be any ribbing for it later.

Edward made me sit at the table while he made breakfast. I had offered to make it myself, but he had insisted, besides, it was nice to watch my sexy man cook me breakfast. I cursed myself for the sexual thoughts that started crossing my mind, watching him stand there in his tight gray shirt that just wrapped so perfectly around his chest and abs like a freaking shrink-wrapped piece of meat.

He was making me what I assumed to be an omelet and was cutting up all the ingredients. It didn't matter anyway, he could have been making me a turd sandwich and I wouldn't have noticed. I was too busy swooning, watching as the muscles in his arms flexed and retreated, and his chiseled face concentrating so hard on what he was doing. He was totally oblivious to my thoughts, and thank goodness, once again, he couldn't read my mind.

I ran my eyes down the length of him, his black jeans were a bit loose around the waist, but fit oh-so-freaking snug against his...

"Hellooo." Edward's voice called out, breaking me from my lustful reverie.

I looked up and met his eyes with a sheepish grin. "What?" I asked, hoping my thoughts hadn't given me away.

"Do you or don't you?" he asked, waiting patiently for my answer.

"Do I or don't I what?....Want you?" I asked, playfully.

Edward shook his head and smirked. "No, I had asked you if you wanted green peppers in your omelet?...Besides...I really don't think the omelet would taste so well with me in it!" he joked.

"Yeah, Yeah. Peppers are fine." I said, looking on as he turned back to the stove, putting the ingredients into the skillet.

I absentmindedly bit at my lower lip, while devouring him with my eyes again.

I watched as Edward flipped the omelet onto a plate and sat it in front of me. "Here...eat up now you hungry human!" and sat down across from me, studying my expression.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, curious.

"Oh nothing much." I sighed and picked up my fork, cutting up my omelet. "And thank you for making this for me!" I said, politely. Hoping he would drop the subject about my thoughts.

"Nothing much?" he said, ignoring my words of gratitude.

"Nuttin much." I mumbled, stealing Emmett's words, and quickly shoved some food into my mouth.

"Well, I didn't know that a lot of nothing could make your face blush like that." he said, grinning devilishly.

I swallowed my food slowly, trying to think of what to say. "I was just thinking about what clothes Alice was planning on giving me to take home."

"Uh huh...sure you were."

"I was!"

"So let me get this straight...clothes turn you on, and make your heart pound erratically, causing your blood to course through your veins like a freight train and flood your cheeks." he paused, thinking for a moment, then continued. "If that's the case, then I will be taking you shopping every day!"

I laughed sarcastically. "Funny! Nice try...but funny!" I spat, and shoved another fork full of food into my mouth.

"Well, I guess I need to go get Alice and let her know, she'll be thrilled to know to this! Edward said, and pushed himself up from the table, turning towards the kitchen door.

I quickly leaned across the table, trying to grasp at him, to stop him from going to tell Alice. I didn't want her to think that I loved clothes this much! I just used the clothes as an excuse and Edward had seen straight through me.

"No...no...no need to do that! Please don't!" I begged, and Edward turned around, sitting back down in his chair, grinning ear to ear.

"Why not?" he asked, knowing he had won the battle.

"Because..." I sighed, shifting my gaze to my plate. "I wasn't thinking about clothes, and you obviously know that."

"Then what were you thinking about?"

"You!" I admitted.

A smirk played across Edward's face the size of Texas. "Why couldn't you tell me that to start with?"

"Because! It's a bit embarrassing! And I'm not going into details either, you know that I was thinking about you and that's all we need to discuss." I said, and turned back to my food, before I embarrassed myself even further.

After finishing off my breakfast and clearing the dishes, Edward had sent me with Alice upstairs to change for his surprise.

Alice had me put me into a black, slim-fitting, short cocktail dress. It had a v-neckline with ruffles on one side, and black, open-toe, three-inch high heels to match.

I willingly went along with her makeover as she swept up my hair into a fancy twist and brushed on the makeup.

"I kind of feel a bit fake Alice." I said, hesitantly, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

"Oh quiet! You look beautiful!" she sang, as she pulled me from my chair and spun me around in front of the mirror. "You look chic and sophisticated!"

"Chic?...Sophisticated?" I said out loud, knowing those words were never in my vocabulary.

"Yes! And Edward will absolutely love it!" she chimed, bouncing up and down on her toes.

I turned away from the mirror and dropped my arms to my sides. "Sure, dress me up for Edward, and not let me be myself, way to go Alice."

"Bella!" she said, her feelings hurt. "You don't even know what he has planned for you tonight...it was the least I could do since he wouldn't let me help plan anything."

I shook my head, already feeling like crap for having hurt Alice. "I know, and I'm sorry. It's just...that I'm not used to this. The only other time I dressed up was for Prom, and I had a cast as an accessory then."

"Well, hopefully, this will be even better for you. You have both your legs in perfect working order!"

I smiled, hoping that she wasn't really insinuating anything, but quickly shrugged it off as I heard a knock at her bedroom door.

"Come in Edward!" Alice chirped, and turned me to face the door.

Edward walked in and I thought I was going to faint right there on the spot. He was wearing a black, Italian cotton shirt, buttoned partially down, revealing his chest. It was hidden underneath his black jacket, with matching pants that tapered towards his ankles and black leather dress shoes.

We both stood ogling each other, smiling in confirmation of our satisfaction with how the other looked.

"Uh...could you two stop staring at each other long enough to leave? It's time for you two to go!" Alice said, jumping in between us breaking our trance.

Edward laughed and came to my side taking me by the hand. "Let's go love, I wouldn't want you to miss out on your surprise!"

"Of course not." I said softly, and followed behind him as he led us out of the room.

As we made it to the living room, everyone was gathered at the front door awaiting our departure.

Esme came up to me and gave me a once over before hugging me. "You look so beautiful Bella!" she said, smiling and held me out in front of her. "Doesn't she look beautiful Carlisle?" she asked sweetly, her voice so elegant and proper.

Before Carlisle could answer, Emmett chimed in. "Yep, she does, she looks a lot better than Edward!" he joked, as Rosalie jabbed him in the ribs. "Ow! Woman!"

Rosalie turned back to face me, her expression guarded. "You uh...look nice Bella." she said quietly, almost as if she had to force the words out.

"Thank you." I said, embarrassed of all the attention, and I turned and glanced up at Edward who was beaming down at me with pride.

Carlisle walked up to us and placed a hand on mine and Edward's outer shoulders, pulling us lightly into him. "You both look wonderful, now go and have fun."

From behind, Alice's voice came ringing out and we turned to look. "Wait! Wait!" she was bounding down the stairs with Jasper in close pursuit.

She held out a camera, waving it around. "I want to take a picture of you two before you leave!"

Edward pulled me in closer as Alice ran around us, and I lowered my gaze to the ground in humiliation.

"Sorry Bella." I heard Jasper say. "You know how she is."

"I know." I said, and smiled for a few pictures.

Thankfully, Edward pulled me away and out to the car, helping me in.

Once on the road, we were quiet for a while, as I tried to figure out where he was taking me. I knew it had to be somewhere fancy with the way we were dressed. I definitely knew we weren't going camping, but...yeah I was being sarcastic. I was entitled to that at the very least.

I laughed to myself at my thoughts and Edward turned his head to look at me in response. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." I said, playing it off. "Nothing at all."

"Oh, he we go with the _nothing_ again." he joked.

I turned and leaned my head against the seat, staring at him. "We're in the car where no one can hear us, so..believe me, if I was thinking about you like _that_, I would tell you." I said in teasing.

"Oh you would?" Edward said playfully, as he moved his hand to my thigh, causing my breath to hitch. He slid it slowly up to the hem of my dress and teasingly caressed my skin. "So, what are you thinking now?"

I smiled seductively at him and licked my lips, biting at my lower one. "I'm thinking....that if you keep that up, we'll have to pull over and not make it to my surprise on time!"

Edward smiled in shock at my words and turned his focus back to the road. He removed his hand from my thigh and placed it on the steering wheel. "I will...uh...uh" he stuttered. "Have to keep that in mind for later on tonight. But it's important that I get us to our destination, I wouldn't want you to miss this."

"Uh huh...sure, make excuses." I taunted.

He turned and glanced over at me, and chuckled nervously. "I'm not, this is just important to me because I know it will be special for you."

I sat up and collected myself, realizing he was trying to be serious. "So, where exactly are we going?"

"To Seattle."

"And what's there?"

"Buildings and people."

I rolled my eyes at his attempt at sarcasm. "That is so not you Edward." I smirked.

"What isn't me?"

"Sarcasm"

Edward laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling it up to his lips, planting a soft chaste kiss. "I had to give it a try, being that it seems to be one of your famous traits, other than your stubbornness that is." He dropped our hands to his lap. "But, I honestly cannot tell you. I _can_ promise you that you will love it."

I reached my hand up and ran my fingers down his jaw line. "Well, as long as you promise."

Edward smiled and leaned his head towards my touch. "I'd promise you the world if I could Bella."

"I don't want the world....I just want you Edward....all of you." I said, softly.

I felt the car decelerate as Edward turned and looked at me, grasping at my hand. "You already have all of me...you always have and always will."

* * *

**Chapter End Notes**: I hope you enjoyed the interaction between Bella & Edward, I was going to relate more on her feelings about how she was dealing with the new information about Jacob, but I felt the need to focus on the intensity and establish more of a connection between B&E first.

**Coming up**... Chapter 21


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes:** Where oh where...is Edward taking Bella?

_They may seize  
On the white wonder of dear Juliet's hand  
And steal immortal blessing from her lips,  
Who, even in pure and vestal modesty,  
Still blush, as thinking their own kisses sin. _

_Romeo and Juliet. ACT III Scene 3. _

* * *

**Chapter 21 :::Classic:::**

As we drove into Seattle, I turned and glanced at Edward. "Are you going to tell me where you're taking me now?" I smiled widely, hoping to influence his answer.

"Not yet love." he said, and began slowing down as he entered the city.

"Will you tell me when we get there?"

Edward laughed and hit his blinker, making a right turn onto the main road. "I'm sure it will be quite obvious when we pull up at our destination."

I sighed at the thought of having to wait any longer, the ride had already seemed to have taken forever.

Edward, noticing my anxiousness, reached out and placed his hand on my knee. "Don't worry love, we'll be there in about five more minutes."

We continued down the main road, passing up tall buildings and elegant restaurants. People were walking up and down the sidewalks, some arm-in-arm with their loved ones, others alone or with their families. I glanced inside some of the department stores as we passed by, taking note of their chic clothing lines and thought to myself how Alice would love some of these places. It was such her style.

The car slowing down as Edward pulled into a turning lane, brought my attention around to his side of the car. He turned into a parking lot, that was adjacent to the most beautiful and grand building I had ever laid my eyes on.

"What is this place?" I asked, dazzled.

"It's McCaw Hall." Edward replied, grinning.

"What happens here?"

"It's a performing arts hall, it's the home of the Pacific Northwest Ballet and Seattle Opera." he said, and climbed out of the car, making his way to my side and opened my door, helping me out.

I stood there for a moment taking in this beautiful structure. The entrance of the building seemed like it was golden against the light of day, and the entire building seemed to made of glass. I glanced up and noticed how the glass windows seemed to span the entire height of the building, and curved around lengthwise. I was amazed with the nine metal screens that spanned the walkway, flashing in multiple colors, and seemed to create a live painting.

"It's absolutely beautiful!"

"Not as beautiful as you are love." Edward replied softly, leaning in towards me, devouring me with his eyes.

I smiled, embarrassed at his frankness and turned back to gaze at the magnificent structure.

"Do you like what you see?" he asked.

I looked back up at Edward and smiled. "I love what I see now."

Edward smiled from ear to ear and wrapped his arm over my shoulders and pulled me tightly into him. "Well let's go inside and have something to eat first, I don't want you to be hungry for the performance later on, as I don't want you to miss a single thing."

I nodded and we made our way inside.

"Where are we going to eat at?"

"At Prelude." he said, as we entered the Hall. "It's conveniently located here on the Promenade so we don't have to drive all over the place. This way, we have more time to spend with each other." he said with a wink and pulled me in closer to him.

I looked around the lobby taking in the elegant, grand staircase that climbed five stories and the sophisticated balconies that hugged the curves of the railing. I quietly laughed to myself for thinking the words elegant and sophisticated, but not quietly enough.

"What' is so funny?" Edward asked, glancing down at me as we entered the diner.

"Oh, I was just wondering why you would bring me to such an elegant place. I so don't fit in here." I admitted.

Edward chuckled lightly as the hostess led us to our seat. He stretched out a hand beckoning me to sit down, and pulled his chair closer to my side, joining me.

I waited patiently for the hostess to leave us before speaking. "What is so funny to you now?" I asked, trying to whisper.

Edward shook his head and leaned in, whispering into my ear. "I was just thinking how you're busy wondering of how you don't fit in here, when you are so much more elegant in comparison." He took in a deep breath, breathing me in and then let it out softly, sending shivers down my spine.

"Uh..." I stammered, his breath and closeness causing my heart to pound. "I think we need to order."

"You go ahead...I have all I want right here." Edward said softly, as he ran his lips against my cheek bone, leaving me with a light kiss before returning to his original position at the table.

I sat staring blankly at the menu I had in my hands, not knowing what to do. I heard Edward laugh lightly beside me, as he watched me trying to collect myself.

"Any ideas yet?" he asked, trying to help bring me back to reality.

"Oh yeah." was my reply.

"And what would that be?"

I turned and glanced up at Edward. "I was thinking that maybe we should just skip dinner and go straight to dessert." I said, audaciously.

Edward snickered, yet seemed to toy with the thought for a moment, then quickly resigned. "I meant, did you have any ideas on what you are going to order to eat?"

I smiled widely at the thought of telling him I wouldn't mind having him served up on a silver platter with all his delectable trimmings, and of course with a few sides of pleasure and ecstasy.

My thoughts once again gave me away, as I felt the blood rush up to my cheeks and flood them with embarrassment. I looked over at Edward who was steadily smiling and shaking his head.

Edward raised one perfect brow. "Though I can only assume what you're thinking, I don't think it will help matters any If I ask you to confirm it. So, with that said, let's order your dinner and we will discuss it later." he said in teasing, yet quietly promising with his eyes, to pick up more than this conversation later in the night.

After dinner, Edward escorted me out of the diner and back out into the lobby.

"Where to now?" I asked, curious.

"Well...first to the box office so I can pick up our tickets, then on to the auditorium."

"Tickets for what?"

"You will see love."

I followed Edward as he took care of our tickets and led me to the auditorium. We made our way up the staircase that was fit for a queen, to the second tier and passed through a side door that said 'Box Seating'.

I was in total amazement with our seating arrangements. I had never been in something so extravagant and beautiful. I followed beside Edward as he led me to our seats and sat down.

I looked out over the auditorium amazed with the decorations and architecture. I finally took notice of the large stage and turned to Edward questioning him.

"What are we here to see?" I asked, excited.

Edward smiled and wrapped his strong arm around my shoulders, whispering. "I brought you here to see the Pacific Northwest Ballet perform Romeo and Juliet."

"What?" I asked ecstatic, almost bouncing out of my seat, as Edward tightened his hold on me trying to keep me calm.

"Calm down Bella." he laughed, leaning in and planting a soft kiss on my cheek. "I thought you would be excited, but not this much!" he whispered, playfully.

"I'm definitely excited Edward! I've always wanted to see this ever since I was little girl! I can't believe you would think to bring me here!" I said happily, and took his face in-between my hands and planted a firm kiss on his lips.

Edward smiled, his eyes glistening from the dim lights of the auditorium. "Well, I am happy that you are happy Bella, and that is all that I can ask for." he said softly, and pulled me closer into his side.

It wasn't long after announcements were made and the lights went out, that the curtain was raised and the first act began.

Throughout the performance, Edward would glance over at me, pull me closer or take my hand and hold it in his, sometimes absentmindedly caressing it with his thumb. I would smile at his touch and always returned my gaze back to the stage.

I was enthralled with the performance, at how beautiful and graceful the dancers moved. The play was above being compared to perfection and artistic. I felt like I was in a dream, and didn't want to wake from it. I had everything I could ask for. Edward was by my side, and I was watching Romeo and Juliet; one of my all-time favorite stories, and it was a beautiful ballet to complete it. I had always daydreamed of seeing a performance such as this, when I was in ballet as a little girl.

Before long, the happy reverie was over and I was upset that it had to end.

I turned to Edward as we remained seated for a few moments longer, letting the others around us filter out. "I think that Two hours and thirty minutes wasn't nearly long enough for such a beautiful performance." I paused, glancing over the balcony watching the people below us leave their seats. "I just wish it could have lasted longer you know."

Edward nodded and stood up, pretending to lightly stretch. "All good things must come to an end." he said casually, and held out his hand for mine.

I sat in my seat staring up at him with a shocked expression. I wondered to myself if he even realized what his words had implied. I for one, knew that all good things must come to an end, but knowing that if I never changed into what Edward was, these words would one day ring true for us.

"What's wrong Bella?" he asked, his expression becoming worried.

"Did you even think about what you said, before you let it out of your mouth?" I spat, and stood up ignoring his hand.

"What?" he asked, confused. "That all good things must come to an--" he said, cutting his own self off, realizing what I meant. "Oh, I'm sorry...I didn't mean it that way love."

I shrugged my shoulders trying to play it off, that I didn't really care. "It doesn't matter anyway Edward, it's so obviously true...what we have will end one day, so I guess it's best that we start getting used to that fact now." I said nonchalantly, and tried to make my way past him, but he reached out and stopped me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Stop it Bella...please."

"Well, it's true....is it not?" I asked, trying to confirm that he knew it was a valid point.

"Not necessarily, but can we discuss this later? I don't want to ruin our night arguing over this."

"Not necessarily?" I asked, confused. I had always known that he didn't want me to be like him, was he thinking otherwise?

"Bella..." Edward began, as he moved his hands to frame my face. "I don't think this is really the place to discuss this." he said softly, raising his eyes to look around us. "Let's go to the car and we will finish it there, okay?"

I nodded, and he took my hand into his and led us out of the Hall.

Once in the car, I picked up my playbill and began looking over it. Edward turned the ignition over and paused, glancing over at me. He acted as if he wanted to say something, then decided against it, and turned to put the car in gear.

"What?" I asked, not looking over at him.

"I uh..." he paused, taken by surprise that I had noticed his hesitation. "I guess I was just wondering if you really think that we will not last." he said, making more of statement than a question.

"You guess?" I asked, turning to look up at him.

"Yes...I am guessing, because I am not really sure of how you feel about us in that way." Edward said, his expression pained.

I sighed and reached out my hand to cover his that rested on the shifter. "I never said that we wouldn't last Edward, I meant that we wouldn't last forever. That is a big difference."

Edward turned and glanced out of his window then back to me. He was obviously hurt by my words, and didn't seem to understand how I could say something like that. "You really believe that?...That we won't last forever?"

"We will last for _my_ forever...if we don't let anything come between us, but...There is no way we can last for _your_ forever Edward." I stated, letting the harsh reality of my words sink in.

Edward nodded as he processed the truth of my statement. He remained in deep thought for what seemed like an eternity before speaking again.

He pulled his hand out from under mine and took it into his, looking down as he traced it with his thumb. "You do know that we can last for my forever."

"I know." I said, realizing that he meant we could last if I was changed into a vampire. "But you don't want that, so it's not an option."

"But Alice saw you as one of us." he replied.

I pursed my lips and looked up at him, waiting for him to look at me. "That's true, but that will change." I said, as he finally raised his eyes to meet mine. "If you don't want it, then it's not going to happen. I've already made my mind up on that, so I guess we'll have to make the best of _my_ forever."

Edward reached up and placed a loving hand on my cheek, cradling it. I hadn't seen him this pained since the day he had arrived back in Forks. "Then I guess I will only last as long as your forever does." he paused for a moment, swallowing hard. "When your time comes, I will be right behind you."

I raised a brow in confusion. "Why would you do that? That is the most stupidest thing I've ever heard you say!"

Edward dropped his hand from my face in shock. "Because Bella, I don't want to be without you, there is no reason for me to exist without you!" he spat, hurt.

"That's not what I meant and you know that." I said, shaking my head. "Why would you do something like that when all you have to do is agree to change me. I just think it's stupid for you to be willing to die over me, when you can prevent both of our deaths to start with!"

"Bella.." Edward said softly. "I cannot kill you, just to make you what I am. I can't do that to you."

I leaned back in my seat and massaged my forehead. "Well then, I guess it's settled. We only have _my_ forever, so... that's that."

Edward moved his hand to the shifter, putting the car in gear, and pulled out onto the main road. We rode in silence until we hit the isolated highway, and he pressed the gas speeding up to ninety in less than a minute.

"Are you going to avoid speaking to me for the rest of the evening?" Edward asked, keeping his eyes focused on the road ahead.

I turned and looked over at him, he still seemed to be hurt from our previous conversation, and it made my heart sink. He was expressionless and was tilting his head towards his window. I couldn't figure out if it was a unconscious attempt at avoiding me, or if he really was trying to distance himself.

I knew that I wasn't trying to avoid him, and that I didn't want this to continue for the rest of our time together. I noticed that he caught me out of the corner of his eye, watching him.

"What?" he asked, still not looking at me.

I smiled as much as I could, trying to push the tension of our reality of 'forever' together away, and reached out and put my hand on his arm. "I love you Edward, no matter what. I'll always love you."

Edward let out a sigh, then turned to glance over at me and smiled. "I love you too Bella, forever." he said and took my hand into his as he returned his gaze back to the open road.

Once we had arrived in Forks, Edward didn't take the usual route to his house.

"Where are we going now?" I asked, wondering what he was up to this time.

"You'll see."

I laughed softly and shook my head. I knew it wouldn't do me any good to question him further. So I just sat back and waited.

Soon, we pulled up to a parking area that bordered the forest line. I knew there were walking trails ahead and began trying to figure out why he would bring me here of all places.

Edward climbed out of the car and flitted around to my side letting me out. There were no other people around to view his super human speed, so I was a bit thankful for that.

"What are we doing here?"

Edward shook his head. "You and your questions." he said playfully. "Now cover your eyes and don't peek."

I nodded, doing what was requested of me and covered my eyes. I shrieked in surprise as I felt Edward pick me up into his arms and took off running.

I was so tempted to peek but didn't. I kept my head pressed into his chest and rebuked the idea of turning around to look at where we were going.

When we had finally come to a stop, Edward set me down gently. "Okay, you can look now."

I opened my eyes and looked around, we were in our meadow. Edward grabbed me by the hand and led me out to the middle where a blanket was already spread out.

"How did this get here?" I asked, knowing he hadn't brought it with him.

"Alice." he replied, and sat down on the blanket pulling me with him.

I smiled at the thought of Alice helping him out with our date, now I knew what she meant when she had told me that he wouldn't let her help plan anything. At least she had been able to help with this part.

I laid back on the blanket, crossing my legs at the ankles, and stared up at the sky. It was finally starting to get dark, and the air was becoming crisp, so I rubbed my hands up and down my arms in an attempt to warm myself. If I had only thought to bring a change of warmer clothes or a jacket, I wouldn't have had to worry about being cold.

Edward turned and watched as I tried to warm up. "Are you cold love?"

I nodded, as he grabbed an extra blanket that was set on the side, opening it up, and then leaned over; wrapping it around me. After making sure that I was warm enough, he curled up beside me and pulled me into his chest.

"So are we here to watch the stars tonight?"

Edward chuckled and whispered into my ear, sending even more chills over me. "No...we're here to watch the moon rise. It's going to be a full moon tonight, and since we can't watch the sun rise...I thought this would be even better." he said, pointing up to the moon and then dropped his hand, wrapping it back around me.

I smiled and pulled my blanket tighter into me, then turned to face Edward; my lips brushing up against his we were so close. He met my gaze and softly kissed my chin, moving his way up to my lips; devouring them with a tender passion.

He paused for a moment, catching my eyes with his. "I love you Bella." he whispered.

"I love you too Edward." I said softly, and locked my lips back onto his, letting my desire for him be known through my touch.

I felt as Edward grabbed at the edges of my blanket pulling it away from me. He backed away for only a brief moment and covered us both with it, hiding our bodies underneath.

His lips immediately met mine and our hands began to roam each other's bodies, searching with desire and begging for pleasure.

Edward's cool hand moved across my breasts, and down to stomach, stopping at my thigh as he ran his fingers underneath the edge of my dress and slowly worked it upward.

He crouched over me and and began to suck my stomach gently, pulling the taut flesh in and kept his mouth wide-open, blowing a little, and pulling me in again. I wanted him to touch me everywhere.

Inside, my belly quivered. Edward's cunning mouth sent a current of butterflies to work. The fluttering started between my legs and made me so wet I blushed at the possibility that he might now.

Edward moved his lips up the bare skin of my stomach to my chest, and continued to raise my dress until it was completely off; dropping it behind me, and then removed my bra with perfect precision.

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck and drew his lips to my mouth. Edward's lips were cool and sweet as they met mine. Passion seemed to overwhelm him and his mouth devoured my lips.

Edward's kisses grew more and more passionate. His hands caressed my breasts, inflaming my senses more and more into fully wanting him, the slow pace was pure torture to my body.

The palms of my hands moved seductively over him, touching his hardness through his pants as it pressed into the flesh of my thigh. I began to unbutton and unzip his pants, but my eyes jolted open when he pulled away from me.

When I saw what he was doing, that he was taking his clothes off, to match my own nudity, I shot him a look of passion, eagerly waiting.

Now stripped of his clothing, revealing his readiness to me, he leaned over me with burning eyes. I drifted towards him, letting his arms enfold me with their solid strength.

Edward's mouth then covered mine with a fierceness I'd never known before. It stole my breath away. It caused my pulse to race and my head began a slow reeling. With a moan of ecstasy I returned his kiss and clung to him, welcoming his hardness inside of me as he entered me with acute deliberation.

Opening myself fully to him, I met Edward's thrusts with upraised hips, stroke by stroke. I leaned my breasts more fully into his hands, feeling the curl of cool desire growing within me, spreading. The world was melting, everything was beautiful...oh, so peaceful within Edward's passionate embrace.

Edward continued to kiss me, a kiss that was all-consuming. I could feel the fire growing into an inferno within himself, his loins trembling.

He moved his hands from my breasts and let hem travel over me, reveling in the warmth of my body as I clung to him, meeting him thrust by thrust. He buried his lips in the delicate, vulnerable line of my neck, and groaned out words of pleasure so that I could hear him, but only barely. I could feel his body was near to exploding.

Trembling, his hands continued to move over me, from my thigh to my hip, from breast to breast. He looked down at me with eyes burning with passion, then once again kissed me, drugging me with his presence...by his sweetness.

I felt the wondrous pleasurable feelings mounting within me. I softly moaned, twining my fingers through his hair. My lips on fire with his kiss. My body was floating, my senses dazzled.

Molding me closer to the contours of his lean, passion-filled body, Edward grazed my shimmering flesh with his lips, and at the same moment he exploded within, matching my own moment of released passion.

We laid clinging, breathing hard. I ran my fingers across Edward's pallid shoulders, then down his spine. "I love you." I whispered.

Edward leaned partially away from me. His hand swept perspiration-dampened strands of my hair back from my face, his eyes devouring me. "I love you too." he said passionately.

He shifted his body away from mine, lying on his side, and pulled me into his chest. I could hear the unnecessary deep breaths emerging from his hardened lungs and smiled to myself that I could make him, of all people in this world, make him feel that way that I did. I knew in my heart that it was a mutual feeling, and wanted it to last forever.

I leaned my head back away from his chest so I could breath in some fresh air and looked up at him. "Can't we stay here forever...just like this, never moving?"

Edward smiled so tenderly, his breath washing over my face. "I wish we could love, I really wish we could."

We held each other for quite a while. I laid wrapped in Edward's arms and we watched silently as the night officially rolled in and the moon stood straight above us, shining brightly.

There had been no need for words. Just the soft touch and hold of our embrace was all that was needed. But before long, this too would have to end, and I would find myself wanting him over and over again.

Without saying a word, we both quickly dressed and picked up the blankets, folding them.

Edward turned to me, obviously not wanting the night to end, but knew that I needed to go home. "Well, I guess we need to get you back to my house so Alice can take you home." he said solemnly.

I nodded in confirmation. "Yeah, Charlie will end up sending out a search party before too long." I joked.

Once we made it back to the car, and Edward had opened my door for me, I reached out and pulled him into me, wrapping my arms around him.

"I had a wonderful time. Thank for you for taking me to the play and for spending time with me." I said, affectionately.

Edward leaned back and smiled, his eyes sparkling from the moonlight. "No need to thank me love, I do it because I love you, I would spend every waking moment with you if I could."

"I love you too, Edward."

* * *

**Chapter End Notes**: Again, thank you for reading!! Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts!! :)

**Coming Up**.... Chapter 22 'Vexed' Bella heads home and is forced to deal with reality, the reality of Jacob.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes:** Bella finally arrives back at home and is forced to deal with reality...the reality of Jacob. How will she deal with the upcoming issues?

* * *

**Chapter 22 :::Vexed:::**

I waved goodbye to Alice and walked into my house. I heard the television blaring from the living room and walked in, finding Charlie in his recliner as usual watching a game.

I moved across the room to the couch and sat all of my shopping bags down that were filled with clothes, making a point to prove mine and Alice's cover story.

"Welcome home stranger." Charlie said, without turning from his game.

"Hi Dad." I said nervously, and slid my overnight bag off my shoulder and onto the floor.

I looked around the room and saw an empty pizza box sitting beside him, so I automatically assumed that he had eaten.

"I guess I don't need to make dinner?"

Charlie shook his head. "Nah, I ordered pizza, But if you want some there is more in the fridge."

"Nah, I'm good. Alice and I picked up a bite to eat on the way home tonight, but thanks anyway." I said, and picked my bag back up to leave the room.

Charlie stopped me in my tracks by holding out a hand and finally looked up at me. "Hey uh...did you have fun?" he asked, but seemed like he had a reason for wanting to know.

"Yeah," I nodded, and forced a half smile. "I had a good time."

"Well that's good." he paused, running his finger over his mustache. "Did you enjoy your time with Edward?"

"What?" I asked incredulously, trying to figure out if he really knew that Edward was back or if he was just assuming. "What are you talking about?"

Charlie muted the television and leaned back in his chair looking up at me. "You know exactly what I'm talking about young lady!" he snapped, squinting his eyes.

"Uh, not really Dad." I said, waiting to see if he was bluffing. "I honestly don't know what you're talking about!"

"Oh yes you do!" he said, standing up from his chair and crossing his arms against his chest. "Jacob told me that Edward had moved back home, so I can only assume that you were there spending the weekend with him as well!"

"What?" I shouted, in total disbelief that Jacob would give him that information. "When did you speak to Jacob?"

"This morning, he called for you and I told him that you were still over at Alice's for the weekend. And that's when he told me that Edward was back and had seen you with him!"

"He's a freaking liar!" I spat. "He'd say anything to get me into trouble with you!"

Charlie tilted his head to the side. "So he's lying about Edward being back?"

"No!" I said through my clenched teeth, it was no use in trying to cover it up. I knew he would eventually find out anyway.

"So then you _did _spend the weekend with him!" Charlie said accusingly.

"No! I didn't!...Edward didn't come back until this morning, but Alice and I were already gone shopping, so I didn't even see him until we got back!" I straight up lied to my father, and I was already hating myself for it, but there was no way I was going to let Jacob win this battle.

"Huh, well that's funny." Charlie said, sarcastically. "Because Jacob told me that he saw Edward two nights ago!...So that tells me that _you _are the one that's lying Bella!"

"Are you freaking kidding me Dad? You're going to believe that asshole over your own daughter?"

"Watch your mouth young lady!" he shouted at me. "I can't say that I don't blame him at all for trying to watch out for you and keep you safe from that...that..." he spat, when I piped in cutting him off.

"That what Dad?" I shouted, throwing my hands up into the air. "What is Edward to you Dad? That what?!"

"It doesn't matter Bella! Edward is not welcome anywhere near this house, and I don't want you seeing him! Is that understood?" Charlie ordered.

"NO!" I spat, refusing to give in. "I am an adult, and if I want to see Edward I will! And you or Jacob can try to stop me all you want, but it's not going to happen!"

"Excuse me young lady, but you mean to tell me that you're willing to see Edward after what he's done to you? And even throw Jacob to the side, who is not only your best friend but is a great stand-up guy who cares a lot about you?"

"Who _cares_ about me?" I scoffed.

"Yes!" Charlie blurted. "And as long as you're under my roof, you _will not_ see Edward! Is that clear?"

"No! It isn't!" I shouted, and turned making my way towards my room. "I guess I'll just have to find another roof to see him under then!"

"Bella! Get back here young lady!" Charlie called out from behind me, as I went running up the stairs.

I stormed into my room and threw my bag against the wall, sobbing so hard I couldn't breathe. Though I could hardly see, I made my way to my bed and sat down on the edge. I buried my face in my hands, letting my tears fall freely.

Suddenly, a pair of cool, strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me in tightly. I knew it was Edward, but couldn't stop crying long enough to look up at him or even speak. I just buried my head into his chest until my sobbing ceased.

Edward reached down and brushed my damp face with his fingers, then leaned in and kissed me on the forehead. "It will be okay love, please don't worry." he said softly.

"That's easy for you to say, you have no clue what I just had to listen to from Charlie." I said, turning to grab some tissue from my night stand and wiped my face further.

"Yes I do Bella." Edward said, his statement causing me to turn back around and look up at him. "I heard everything that was said." he admitted.

"Everything?" I asked, pronouncing the word slowly.

Edward nodded. "Yes. I was up here waiting for you, and heard the fight." he said, as he reached out and brushed a loose curl behind my ear.

I sighed and leaned back on the bed, covering my face with my hands. "I'm sorry you had to hear that."

"I'm not."

"Why is that?" I asked, curious.

I felt as Edward curled up beside me and pulled my hands from my face. "Because now I know that Jacob isn't going to stop. He probably figures that you know about his deal by now, so he's obviously trying to get to you through your father."

"What am I going to do?"

"Just make sure that you don't let him in the house, or anywhere near you. If he does come around, then leave or call me."

I opened my eyes and looked over at Edward. "I can do that."

Edward nodded and wrapped me into his arms. "So, what do you want to do about us seeing each other?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, not understanding what he meant.

Edward rested his head on my shoulder, running his finger up and down my arm, stroking it."I mean, now that it's going to cause tension between you and your father, we need to figure something out." he said, pausing for a moment in deep thought. "You know you can always come and stay with me if things get too stressful here."

I raised my brows in disbelief. "Are you serious?"

Edward nodded, not breaking his gaze from mine.

I turned away, considering his offer. It was awful early to be thinking about moving in with him. But, after all, everything was occurring around me suddenly. Things had been happening so fast I hadn't even had the chance to even sit and think about it all. I knew that living with Edward would have it's pros and cons, and that it would mean something more permanent between us, and I didn't know how either of us would react to that. I would also go from having only one family member in my house to living with seven. I also knew that I would have my privacy, but only to an extent.

I shook my head, pushing the thoughts to the back of my mind and turned back to look at Edward. He was staring at me with inquisitive eyes.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, as a corner of his lips crooked up into a half smile.

I furrowed my brows, rapidly blinking my lids and tried to form a single thought. "I was uh...actually thinking about us."

"You were?"

"Yeah."

"What about us?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Just about if we actually did live together, about how things would work out for us, the good and the bad I guess."

Edward pursed his lips, tilting his head to the side. "Good and bad?"

"Yep." I said, cutting our conversation short and sat up on the bed. "I need to go take a shower, I think it'll make me feel better, wash some of this stress away."

Edward stood up from the bed and straightened his shirt. "You go ahead and take yourself a long hot bath, I need to go soon anyway. I'll be gone for a while so take your time." he said, grinning.

I stood up and began gathering my clothes. "Where are you going?" I asked, not wanting him to leave.

"I promised Carlisle that I would go hunting with him, he asked for some time alone so we could talk. So, I figured since I haven't hunted all weekend, we would go and do that tonight." Edward said, as he moved across the room to my side.

"Well, have fun then. I'll miss you though." I said, softly.

Edward leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. "I'll miss you too love, but I shouldn't be away for long. I promise I will come back as soon as we are done."

I nodded and watched as he made his way to the window, but he paused for a moment, turning back around to glance at me. "I love you." he whispered.

"I love you too." I replied, and watched as he darted from the window.

I finished gathering my items for the shower then went into the bathroom and turned on the water, letting it warm up.

I sat my clothes on the counter and went to close the bathroom door when I heard the house phone ringing. I locked the door, then quickly undressed and climbed into the shower.

I took as long as possible in the shower, using up every bit of hot water there was. I wished it had been the shower at Edward's house because that one seemed to never run out. Not to mention the jets it had in it that sprayed at every possible muscle in your body.

I finally stepped out of the shower and began drying off. I heard Charlie's voice ring out from the kitchen, and quickly assumed that he was still on the phone with whomever had called earlier. But that was unlike him to stay on the phone for so long, so the only person it could have been was my Mother.

He must have called her earlier to complain about my spending time with Edward, and he was probably trying to talk her into convincing me to stay away from him. Whatever the case was, it wasn't going to work.

I put on my night clothes, a pair of tattered sweat pants and a tank top, then brushed out my wet hair and threw it up in a clip. I leaned into the mirror searching my face for possible wrinkles when I heard Charlie's voice again. I decided it would be best that I go down there, even though I didn't want to even look at him right now, and break up his phone call with Renee.

I opened the bathroom door and slowly made my way down the stairs, trying to catch Charlie's side of the conversation, but he never did speak again. I quickly gathered that he must have already hung up with her by the time I got to the bottom step.

"Well hello Bells!" a very familiar voice rang out.

I shot my eyes over to the kitchen table and saw Jacob sitting across from my Dad.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I spat, taking a step back and quickly realized, that going back up the stairs would be a bad idea, as I would have nowhere else to run other than my bedroom.

"Bella! Stop it!" Charlie demanded.

Jacob waved Charlie off laughing, and leaned back in his chair looking at me, rocking it on it's hind legs. "Is that any way to treat your best friend?"

"Best friend?" I asked, incredulously. "Have you seriously lost your mind?"

Jacob folded his arms across his chest, shaking his head, smirking. "You're always full of surprises Bella." then turned back to Charlie, watching me out of the corner of his eye as I moved to the kitchen counter.

"But yeah, just let me know when you want to go and I'll be ready." Jacob said to Charlie, obviously finishing off the conversation they were having earlier.

"Go where?" I asked, wanting to know what was going on.

Charlie turned and looked at me, the tension from our fight earlier still lingering between us. "We're going fishing as soon as I can get a day off." he said, nonchalantly.

I scoffed and turned my back to them, taking a glass from the drain and pouring myself some water. I reached up to the cabinet above me to grab some aspirin for my future headache and saw Jacob's reflection in the window watching me.

I turned back to face them and noticed they were both watching me.

"Headache?" Jacob asked.

I scoffed again, shaking my head. "Yeah," I paused, pursing my lips. "But you would know more about headaches since the other night, wouldn't you?" I taunted, referring to his fight with Edward. "I heard that you had a smashing good time."

I heard a low growl escape from Jacob and was surprised that Charlie didn't even hear it.

His growl caused Edward's words from earlier to replay in my mind. _If he does come around, then leave or call me._

I casually shifted my eyes towards the hallway and eyed my truck keys hanging on the key rack beside the front door. I knew that I was safe for the time being, as long as Charlie was around. Or so I hoped.

"What is she talking about Jacob?" Charlie asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

Jacob laughed and leaned on the table, trying to play it off. "I guess she's talking about the other night when I went to a bonfire with my friends, I ended up getting a bad headache and went home to sleep it off."

Charlie nodded. "Oh yeah, that's right. Billy told me you were sick there for a bit."

Jacob looked at me and grinned. "Yep."

I casually lowered my hand to my back pocket, realizing that I was in my sweats and that my cell phone was upstairs in my bag. I pretended to rub my forehead and gauged the distance between me and the house phone. I would have to assume that Jacob wouldn't jump up and try to stop me if I went to use it being that Charlie was sitting right there.

I quickly began to think of an excuse to go up to my room, so I could call Edward without them knowing, and began walking to the stairs.

"So Bella." Jacob called out behind me. "Did you have fun on your date with Edward tonight?"

I spun around, knowing this was the reaction Jacob wanted. He was trying to keep me downstairs with him. I think he knew that I was trying to find a way out. "Excuse me?"

Jacob laughed as Charlie stood up from the table, furious. "Your date with Edward?" he said, curtly. "You lied to me again Bella!"

"No, I didn't lie! Jacob is obviously trying to get me in trouble!" I said without hesitation, glaring over at Jacob who was grinning from ear to ear with amusement.

Charlie turned to Jacob, then back to me. "What is going on here?"

"That's not what I saw out in the meadow tonight!" Jacob chided, ignoring Charlie.

My mouth fell open at Jacob's statement. "How dare you! After everything you have done to me! And everything that you have done behind my back, you're going to sit there and try and cause trouble between me and my father?" I shouted, shaking furiously.

Charlie held out his hands to quiet us. "Both of you, stop this now!"

I turned my attention back to Charlie and shook my head. "I can't believe you would even let him in our house!" I spat.

"And give me one good reason why I shouldn't Bella!" he demanded.

I stuttered with my words, knowing good and well that I couldn't tell him the truth. "Be...Because he's obviously trying to start trouble between you and I! Isn't that enough?"

Charlie stood there in front of me shaking his head in disgust. "I can't believe you, Jacob is obviously trying to do what is right by you and all you want to do is scream and fight with him!" he paused, placing his hands on hips, taking a deep breath to relax before speaking again. "And if I find out that you have been seeing Edward behind my back with this little charade of a shopping trip to hide behind..I'll...I'll..." he sputtered.

"You'll what Dad? Throw me out?" I spat. "Fine! Do it! I want you to say it! And that way I won't have to deal with you and angelic Jacob over there trying to corner me into not seeing my boyfriend anymore!"

"Bella!" Charlie shouted. "Edward _is not_ your boyfriend!"

"Yes he is!" I shouted back. "Edward _is_ my boyfriend and there is nothing anyone can do about that!"

"That's it, I'm done!" Charlie said, rubbing his face with his hands in irritation. "I'll leave you two to talk things out, I'm going to bed. And you and I missy will talk about this tomorrow!" he turned around and darted up the stairs in a fury, slamming his bedroom door behind him.

I immediately turned back around to Jacob, seething. "I hope you're happy Jacob Black, thanks a lot you asshole, thanks a lot!"

Jacob stood up from the table and made his way over to me. I began to slowly back up until I felt the kitchen counter hit my back. He leaned over me, pushing his chest against mine and held me there with his hands gripping the counter top on either side of me.

"If you hurt me Jacob, you won't live to see tomorrow." I promised, trying to keep my panic from rising to the surface.

He let out a low throaty chuckle and leered over me. "Hurt you? Please Bella...don't be such a comic. I have no intentions of hurting you." he whispered.

Jacob raised a hand and ran his fingers down the side of my face. "I just want what you never gave me."

"And what would that be?"

"You." he said, quietly.

I saw an opportunity to run with his hand busy on my face, so I turned and Jacob caught me before I could even take my first step.

"Where do you think you're going? Are you trying to run so poor little Edward can save you?"

"Jacob, get away from me now or I will scream!" I demanded.

He smirked, his eyes cold and hard. "No you won't, because then you'll have to explain the truth about me and Edward to your Dad."

"I don't care!"

"Yes you do."

Jacob wrapped his arms around me tightly pinning mine beside me so I couldn't fight him. "So, are you going to give me what I want or not?"

"You can't have me, you never have and you never will!" I spat furiously. I didn't care if I angered him further or not, I wasn't going to stand there and just take this from him.

"Bella, listen to me. I want you, and only you. That's all I've ever wanted. I came by to let you know that I'm leaving soon, and I want you to come with me."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Are you seriously crazy? I'm with Edward, and I'll never go anywhere with you! Especially after that deal you made with Victoria! I can never trust you again!"

"But all of that will change over time, I promise you it will...just come with me." Jacob pleaded.

"No Jacob, never! Now let me go!" I ordered, raising my voice. "And I want you to leave, Now!"

Jacob's firm hand forcing itself over my mouth, caused my head to jerk back in reaction. I gazed up into his dark eyes with my own, begging to be let go.

His eyes were now boldly raking over me, as if they were feasting on my body. "Tomorrow I will be gone." he said, speaking in a low, but husky whisper. "And since you refuse to go with me, I'm not going to leave without a private goodbye."

I had a good idea of what he meant and immediately began to whimper loudly trying to rouse the attention of my now sleeping father. My faint cries only caused Jacob's hand to press harder against my mouth.

He drew me closer with his free hand, crushing me against him. My heartbeats almost swallowed me whole when he quickly removed his hand and forced his lips down onto mine fiercely. He forced my mouth open and plunged his tongue into my mouth, I automatically began biting at his tongue in self defense, and he reached up, cupping his strong hand underneath my chin, forcing my jaw open on either side.

I tried to pull free but he continued to hold me tightly. I tried to scream out but he only forced his hold on my jaw and my mouth even harder.

Jacob shoved me up against the counter locking me into him, then ran his hand around to my breasts, roughly fondling them and moaned into my mouth.

I quickly thought that if I could get him to think I was giving in to him, that he might lessen his grip on me and I could hopefully get away.

I asked Edward to forgive me, knowing that he would understand and began to kiss Jacob back. I let out a few fake moans of desire and let my body slump into his.

"So you want me after all." Jacob moaned, thickly. He loosened his grip on me against the counter and moved his hand from my breasts, then down between my legs, probing.

I trembled with fear as he touched the forbidden area at the juncture of my thighs. But as soon as he began to run his hand down the inside of my pants, a place where only Edward was allowed to go, I panicked and drew up a knee, thrusting it as hard as I possibly could into Jacob's loins.

Jacob drew back in pain, bending over and holding himself. I froze for a moment afraid that he might harm me for what I had done.

_Move feet move!_ I kept telling myself, and took off in a sprint towards the front door. I grabbed my keys from the rack as I opened the door and ran out.

The sound of foot steps running up behind me, kicked my adrenaline into high gear, and I felt as if I were moving in slow motion as I ran to my truck.

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**Chapter End Notes:** So how did you like them cookies? Well, okay...I didn't make any of you cookies...but I _did_ write you an extra chapter today! :) Please leave me a review and let me know what you think! Thank you!!

**Coming Up**... Chapter 23


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes:** Bella continues her escape from Jacob...where will she end up and what will follow her as she deals with the situation.

* * *

**Chapter 23 :::Refuge:::**

I jumped into my truck and locked the door while fumbling for the ignition. I turned over the engine and slammed it into reverse, stomping on the gas.

Before I knew it, I was speeding as fast as my old truck would take me, and quickly looked back, checking my mirrors for any trace of Jacob. I saw nothing, the road was empty. All that was visible was the smoke from my exhaust and the dim light of the street lights reflecting on the road's slick surface.

I kept glancing out of my side windows along the wood line as I sped by, checking for any suspicious activity. My heart was pounding and felt like at any moment it was going to leap straight out of my chest and onto the dash.

I pushed the gas pedal all the way to the floor board in the hopes that I would make it to Edward's house. It didn't seem as if I could go fast enough. The closer I neared his house, the slower the truck seemed to go.

I suddenly realized in my haste and fury, that I was beginning to understand the nature of Jacob's evil intent all too well. I hadn't doubted Edward at all about his revelation of Jacob's deal with Victoria, but for some reason I had had a jaded perspective, and it was because of my relationship with him that we had shared, made the reality of it somehow seem to be impossible. I had enough sense to know, that had I agreed to go with Jacob, that he would have surely delivered me into Victoria's hands.

I shook my head from my disparaging thoughts, and noticed a set of high beams bouncing off of my rear view mirror. I quickly squinted my eyes in response and rocked in my seat, somehow thinking it could make my truck go even faster.

As the headlights behind me closed in on the back of my truck, I began to panic and prayed quietly to myself that it wasn't Jacob following me. It was quite obvious that I was headed to Edward's house so he had to be totally insane if he thought he was going to follow me there.

Suddenly, the lights went dim and I was able to lean to the side and look into my side mirror. I noticed the shiny silver Volvo practically riding my bumper. I sighed in relief, and my stomach seemed to lighten in it's queasiness, thankful that Edward was behind me. All I wanted to know was why he was back so soon if he was supposed to be out hunting. Then I quickly figured out it had to have been Alice, she must have seen something and had alerted him.

I began to slow my truck to a crawl as I came upon Edward's driveway and turned in. I pulled up in front of the garage and quickly jumped out, slamming head on into a granite chest.

My heart was pounding as I stumbled back and felt Edward's arms grasp around my waist to keep me steady. I looked up trying to catch my breath, my lips sputtering for words.

"Did...Did you see Jacob...is...he still following me?" I gasped, pronouncing each word as clearly as I could manage.

Edward nodded and pulled me into his chest, providing the comfort I needed to help calm me down. "Emmett, Jasper and Alice are out searching for him now, he can't get too far. He broke off into the woods when he caught my scent, but they'll find him. Please don't worry love, you're safe with me now. I will not let any harm come to you."

"I love you Edward" I muttered into his chest, wrapping my arms around him tightly and letting the tears stream as my body began to surrender to the calm.

"I love you too."

Edward led me into the house and made me sit down on the couch with Esme as went off into the kitchen for something.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" Esme inquired, worry etching across her face at my distress.

"Yes..." I nodded. "I'm sure I'll be fine once I officially calm down." I turned to Esme, grasping at her icy hand. "I...I can't believe that Jacob would have ever done something like that to me. I mean...I know that he had ulterior motives, but to corner me like that and try and force himself on me. I...I just..." I trailed off, shaking my head and quickly turned to watch Edward as he entered the room with a glass of water and something in his closed hand.

"Here, take this and try to relax." Edward offered, holding out the glass of water to me.

"What is it?"

"It's just some Tylenol Bella, extra strength. It will help you with your future headache and soothe your muscles from all the tension." He held out two red and white capsules, watching as I took them obediently; washing them down with the water.

I looked around the room noticing that certain family members were missing. "Where is Rosalie and Carlisle?"

"Rosalie went with Carlisle to speak to Sam." Esme explained. "Carlisle wanted to let Sam know in person about Jacob's lack of obedience to his Alpha, mostly concerning you. Carlisle figured that if he took Rosalie it would seem...less threatening so to speak."

I nodded in understanding and violently rubbed my temples, attempting to push away the tension that was building up in my head. A slight grin forced itself up on the corner of my lips as I was thankful for the Tylenol. At least Edward was being thoughtful instead of interrogating me about Jacob's presence at my house and my not calling him about it like I had promised.

As if Edward had been reading my thoughts, he sat down beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him. "So, why didn't you call me when Jacob showed up?"

I shook my head and explained the entire situation before Edward could even get ahead of me and shame me for not keeping my word.

I felt Edward's hold tighten on me and noticed he cut a glance over at Esme, nodding quietly as if he were having a silent conversation with her.

I shot my eyes up at Edward. "What? What did I do wrong this time?"

"You didn't do anything wrong at all love, you did everything right. Please stop worrying...you did the only thing you could do, and were quite brave I must say. I am proud of you Bella for getting out of there and fighting back."

Edward leaned in and planted a chaste kiss on my forehead, smiling approvingly.

"So now what happens?" I asked, referring to our next step of action.

"Well, if Emmett and the others find Jacob, I'm positive they will have no problem taking care of him. And if they do...there won't be a next time."

I felt a cold shiver travel through my body at the underlying meaning of Edward's words. I didn't need him to explain to me what he said, not because I didn't understand, but because I didn't want to hear it. I knew that I didn't want Jacob dead, but I wasn't going to question Edward either.

Suddenly the thought of Charlie crossed my mind as it began to unwind with the events of the night. I knew for certain that the sound of my truck had to have woken him up, and if he was doing anything at this very moment, I knew he was searching for me.

"Charlie is going to be looking for me. I didn't even think about it when I ran out of the house...I didn't even stop in time to close the front door, it was the least of my worries. And if Charlie came downstairs and saw that, he's going to have the entire police force out looking for me! He knows I would never do anything like that!" I spat frantically, directing my worry towards Edward.

"I will call him now, so he won't worry." Edward insisted. He pulled his phone from his pocket and began dialing my home number as he stood and walked towards the front door.

"Why are you leaving the room to talk to him?" I asked in disbelief.

Edward held up a hand to quiet me and stepped outside.

I turned to Esme who was steadily rubbing my hand in consolation. "Why does he want to talk to Charlie in private?" I questioned.

"He doesn't want to worry you dear."

"But that's going to make me worry even more! I'm not going to know what to tell my Dad if I don't know the story he's giving him."

Esme smiled and reached up to tuck my hair behind my shoulder. "He is on the phone with him now, Edward is explaining to him that Jacob tried to force himself on you and would not let you go or scream for him. That all you were able to do was run out like you did and you came here for safety."

"What?" I spat, incredulously. "Is he crazy? He can't tell him that! He will kill Jacob!"

"Calm down sweetheart." Esme said soothingly. "Edward will make sure that your Father does not do anything rash...besides, your Father will not be able to do anything if he cannot find Jacob." she finished off with a slight smirk on her face.

"Oh dear!" Esme said quietly, after a few moments pause of her tuning back into Edward's conversation with my Dad.

"What, what is it?" I asked, frantic.

"Your Father is coming here, he wants to see you with his own eyes to make sure that you are okay."

"Omigod! No!" I cried. "He doesn't want me around Edward and this is just going to cause even more upset between me and him!"

"Don't worry love, I'll be right here beside you the whole time." Edward said, as he walked back into the living room. "We will just let him see that you are fine and he should be okay. You are his daughter after all Bella, he has the right to check on you. I can't deny him that and neither can you."

I nodded slowly and turned to watch as headlights pulled into the driveway. As soon as the lights were shut off I saw Charlie climbing out of the cruiser and sprinting towards the front door.

Edward had the front door open before Charlie could even knock. I assume that he didn't see the need for common courtesies at this point in time. He held the door wide open and Charlie walked into the living room pulling me up off of the couch and holding me tightly in his arms.

"Are you okay Bella?" Charlie asked, holding me out away from him, passing his eyes over me a few times.

"Yes, I"m okay...a little sore and shaken, but I'm okay." I offered, hoping to appease him and proving that I was actually unharmed.

"A little sore?" he spat. "Tell me exactly what happened!" Charlie demanded.

I took my lead from what Esme had told me and explained it to him, trying to keep it simple and to the point. But by the time I had finished, Charlie looked as if he was going to rip Jacob's head off himself. And the scary part was, I knew he would surely attempt it.

"So why didn't you wake me up? You could have screamed...done something Bella!" Charlie spat, shaking me unintentionally.

"I..I couldn't Dad! He wouldn't let me! Running out of the house and coming here was the only thing I could think of once I was able to get away!" I said, as I tried to slowly ease out of his death grip on my shoulders.

Charlie shook his head and tightened his hold on me. "Why did you have to come here? Why couldn't you have just driven to the police station where they would have called me! He wouldn't have followed you there and you know that!"

I winced at his grip and reached up to push his hands off of me. "Dad, you can't possibly begin to question why I came here. It's not like I had the opportunity to stop and weigh my options! Now please...let go of me! You're hurting me!"

Charlie gave me his famous eye squint, the one that said he was beyond furious. He dropped his hands from my shoulders and took me by the wrist. "Come on, we're leaving! We're going to the station and making out on report on what happened."

I attempted to pull my wrist free of his hold and it just infuriated him even more. "No Dad! I'm not leaving here...can't you just make out the report here?" I pleaded.

Charlie glanced around the room at Edward and Esme, then back to me; shaking his head. "Not going to happen young lady. Even though I can still make out the report here, you are still leaving with me!" he demanded.

"Why do you want me to leave? I'm safe here!" I spat back, and glanced over at Edward who was focused on Charlie's grip on my wrist.

Charlie shook his head in obvious disgust. "Because you don't belong here Bella Swan! And you're going home...now that is final!"

Esme stood up from her seat on the couch, speaking softly. "Charlie, she is welcome to stay here if that is what she wishes." she said, trying to coax him as she gently laid her hand on his shoulder. "It is honestly no trouble at all for us, I just want her to feel safe as you do."

Charlie turned and eyed Esme's hand on his shoulder and turned back to me, pulling me by the wrist as he turned to walk away.

"Dad..let go of me! I'm not a damn child!" I snapped.

"Bella this is not up for discussion! Now let's go!"

"No! You only want me to leave here because you don't like Edward, but it's my choice and I can't go through this with you again tonight!" I cried, breaking down into hysterics. "I'm not leaving here and I can't take anymore...not after what's happened tonight!" I shouted, then turned and ran up the stairs leaving them all behind.

I darted up the stairs as fast as my weak legs would carry me and fled into the guest bedroom, shutting the door behind me. I threw myself onto the bed and let the tears come out in waves, my chest heaving from the lack of air and my sinuses closing up on me from crying so hard.

I thought of Charlie and how he must feel as I sobbed into the pillows. I knew he must be extremely hurt with his only child refusing him. I had never had any intentions whatsoever of hurting my Dad. But I couldn't just stand there and let him control my relationship with Edward. I knew that If I had left with him, that there would have been a lot more fighting over the fact that I had come here. I was now faced with the idea that he would most probably never speak to me again, but if it really did come to that, at least I had Edward to comfort me until he decided to come around to his senses. I knew Charlie loved me, but his overreaction was hurting us both.

My sobs finally slowed, but came in regular intervals as I processed all that had happened. I thought of how Edward was trying mightily to control himself at Charlie's death grip on me, he obviously saw that it was hurting me and wanted more than anything to pull him off. I could only imagine how conflicted he was that it was my Father, knowing he had to let him hurt me and keep his anger at bay. I think in reality though, Edward knew that Charlie would never intentionally cause me harm.

My thoughts began to carry me off into oblivion as my mind began to take over, pushing me into a deep sleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the sunlight. I rolled my head to side to turn away from the windows and felt the coolness of a hard stomach pressing into the side of my face. I opened my eyes all the way and turned to look up at my stone pillow.

"Good morning love." Edward whispered softly. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah." I said, as I rolled over and took my place beside him, draping an arm across his bare chest. "I'm sorry I feel asleep, I wasn't trying to be rude."

Edward smiled genuinely and reached out to wrap his arms around pulling me against him. "No need to apologize love, you obviously needed it." he said, as he affectionately kissed me on the top of my head, staying for a moment before laying back onto the pillow. "You were sound asleep when I came upstairs to check on you after your Father left, so I just let you rest."

The mention of Charlie immediately brought me back to reality. "Oh no, what did he say? I know I was awful to him last night."

"You did fine, don't worry yourself about it. But Charlie will come to terms with our relationship in time Bella, we just have to make sure that we don't throw it in his face. We just need to respect him, we do owe him that much."

I cringed at the thought of Charlie's reaction the night before. "Yeah, he may come to terms per say, but I don't think he'll ever really like it."

Edward nodded. "True, but his thoughts were honest. He loves you and he just wants what is best for you. He is afraid of loosing his only child."

"I know." I sighed, and leaned in planting a kiss on Edward's cheek as I ran my hand over his pallid chest.

I felt Edward tense up as my fingers trailed to his waist line, and before I knew it, he had grabbed my hand into his, pulling it back up to his chest.

"We can't be doing anything right now Bella....please wait love." he said breathlessly.

"I wasn't planning on doing anything, I was just enjoying the feel of your skin underneath my fingertips." I said, honestly.

Edward flashed a devious grin. "Even so, it makes _me_ want to do something and now isn't the time."

I laughed and pulled away, stretching out my body and yawning. "Oh, I think I slept too hard...I feel groggy." I paused for a moment, relaxing my body. "So, what's on the agenda for today?"

Edward's smile immediately dropped as look of deep thought crossed over him. "We have some things we need to discuss first."

"Like what?" I asked, starting to become nervous.

"Well," he began, turning to look at me. "They couldn't find Jacob last night, and Sam ended up calling Carlisle this morning to tell him that Jacob had phased and has crossed the border. He won't respond to any of his commands and doesn't seem to plan on coming back." he said, running his eyes over my face, checking for my reaction.

"Oh." I said, barely managing a response. "Do you think he'll come back?"

"Sam said that if he does, it won't be for a long time. Maybe even years, because of what he has done. He knows that there will be severe consequences to face from his pack and our family. So, I don't think that is something for us to worry about right now, but we do plan on keeping our senses open, watching for him just in case." Edward said reassuringly.

"Oh." I repeated. Quickly convincing myself that Jacob being gone for a few years was a lot better than having him dead. Despite everything he had done, I didn't want to see anyone die for it.

"So!" I chimed, trying to change the depressing subject we were already on. "Now that has been discussed, what are the plans for today?"

Edward sat up and leaned over me, replacing a stray curl safely behind my ear. His expression seemed sincere yet troubled and my nervousness began to slowly creep back into my stomach. "What's wrong?" I asked, worried.

He let out a deep exaggerated sigh. "We need to talk about Victoria." he said, slowly leaning further into me as if he were waiting for me to jump up in fear. But I remained still and tried to keep as calm as possible.

"What about her?"

"She's still here...Emmett and the others ran across her path again last night. She's been leaving and coming back before, but now she seems to be sticking around." Edward said, reaching out and scooping me up into his arms. "But there is more to it." he paused, waiting for me settle in. "Alice had a vision."

I looked up at him with fear in my eyes. I knew this wasn't going to be good news. "What was the vision?" I asked, hesitantly.

Edward furrowed his brows into a perfect crease. "It was about her attacking you in the meadow--"

"What?" I yelped, cutting him off.

"Please just hear me out love." he paused, making sure I was listening. "Alice said it will happen in two days, so we have been making a plan of attack all morning. You will stay back here with Rosalie while the rest of us go and finish her off. I promise you Bella, your safety is my top priority and I will make sure that I end this with her for once and for all."

All I could do was stare at him with my jaw dropped open in disbelief.

"Bella please breathe."

I shook my head and took in a deep breath. "I'm going to the meadow with you." I insisted.

Edward shook his head in fury. "Oh no you are not, you are staying right here with Rosalie! I cannot be fighting with the redhead and trying to focus on your safety at the same time!" he ordered.

"This is about me Edward! She's after me! Once she finds out that I'm not there she's going to find me here with only one vampire to help defend me...she's not stupid! And....and Rosalie hates me so she will probably just throw me to her! You are not leaving me behind!"

"Bella...this is not up for discussion!"

"You're right, it's not. I'm going and that's final!" I hissed, as I jumped up and left the bedroom, heading downstairs to plead my case to the rest of the family.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:** Thank you so much for being patient with me on this chapter! I appreciate all of the encouraging words from everyone! My readers are awesome! I lub you all!! :) BTW...I wrote this chapter out in just an hour and a half! I just broke my own record lol. I guess that's what happens when I deprive myself of writing!

Also, if you've already viewed the Eclipse trailer (which is on SM website if you haven't), let me know what you think! Me thinks it's going to be the best one yet!

**Coming Up**... Chapter 24 'Persuasion' Will Bella be able to convince the rest of the family to let her be in the meadow for the fight? Also, find out what the Cullens are planning for Victoria!


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes: **Will Bella be able to convince the rest of the family to let her be in the meadow for the fight?

* * *

**Chapter 24 :::Persuasion:::**

I made my way into the living room where the rest of the family was gathered. If I hadn't known any better, I would think that they already knew what was about to happen. I looked around the room at all the silent and well postured figures sitting on the couches and realized, that of course they knew that I would be coming down to discuss the fight with Victoria.

I glanced over at Alice and quietly cursed to myself for forgetting about Alice's ability to see the future, and for not remembering that they had heard mine and Edward's recent conversation.

"Well since everyone already knows why I'm here, why don't we get started? I vote that I should be in that meadow when we go to confront Victoria, once she knows all of you are there and I'm missing, she'll lead you on a wild goose chase while she is busy ripping to me shreds here."

"I vote no." Edward's voice carried softly, as I turned and saw him standing over at the foot of the stairs.

"This isn't just about you Edward." I chimed, almost nonchalant. "This is about what Victoria wants, and that's me. It's about her not stopping until she has her way."

"You're right Bella." Carlisle said, crossing his arms against his chest, looking a bit grim. "This isn't just about Edward, it's about all of us. You are part of our family now and that means we will be working together to make sure that Victoria is taken care of. But we must figure out just exactly what the plan is because we don't have much longer."

"He's right!" Alice said, nodding towards Carlisle, agreeing with him. "I see Victoria making up her mind to find you regardless. So you are also right as well Bella, she's not going to stop until she has you."

Emmett spoke up as he leaned against the wall beside a sitting and outraged Rosalie. "So then what's the plan? Any ideas?"

I quickly spoke up before the entire family could make plans again without me. "I'm going to that meadow, it's the only way, and we should _all_ be there together as a family. I'm tired of running from this, and I'm ready to face her."

"I don't like the idea of you being put in harms way. I refuse to use you as bait." Edward demanded, as he came to a stop by my side and wrapped a protective arm around my waist.

Jasper's head shot up, turning towards Edward. "That's perfect! We should have Bella go out in the middle of the field by herself, and lure Victoria in while we wait in the rafters so to speak. We can corner her and attack her from there."

"NO!" Edward fumed.

"He has a point though Edward." Emmett said, uncrossing his arms and straightening his pose. "If we corner her, then we can get her with the element of surprise. It will be seven against one, it's a win-win situation! She literally won't know what hit her!"

"But won't she be able to pick up our scent?" Rosalie asked, looking towards Alice. "She'll know that we are already there."

Alice shook her head. "Victoria already knows that we will all be there, so it won't be that much of a surprise. But, her plan is to sweep in on Bella before we can get to her. Victoria is willing to die, only after she takes Bella's life."

Alice's revelation shook me to the core. Knowing that Victoria was willing to die, told me that she had no reason to stay alive other than to kill me. My body trembled at the thought and Edward automatically took notice, tightening his hold on me.

"I still won't stand for Bella being in the middle of that meadow alone and risking her life. I will stand there with her and let Victoria think that she only has me to battle before she can have Bella. It will give us some time, though only a little. But while she is busy battling me, one of you can come and take Bella while the rest of us finish her off." Edward said, giving in to my desire to be in that field, but still refusing to leave me unprotected.

"But she will still know that the rest of us are there with you and Bella." Jasper stated.

Carlisle stood up from his seat, taking on his role as head of the family. "Of course she will know that the rest of us are there, but she can't read our minds. If Edward leads her to believe that this fight is only between the two of them, then it will most certainly take her off guard should we see the need to assist him." He turned looking at Alice, squinting his eyes in declaration. "You will take Bella away from the scene once the fight begins. Keep her safe with the others, until they see the need to help their brother."

"And let Edward fight Victoria alone? I'm not going to go hide while he fights her either!" I said, shaking my head. "I can't go into hiding if I know he's fighting her! I won't do it!"

"Bella," Edward said softly, reaching up to run his granite hand down the length of my neck to soothe me. "I can fight her, Victoria's need for revenge alone will be her death. She will be so focused on retribution for James that she won't be able to concentrate on my attack against her. There is no need to worry about me, I can handle her. But as for you, you need to remain safe. I won't be able to fight her and worry about your safety at the same time. You have to trust me."

"He's right," Carlisle said reassuringly.

Alice stood up and walked across the room laying gentle hands on my shoulders. "Nothing will happen to Edward or you Bella, you have my word."

"Will you tell me if see any changes?" I pleaded.

Alice nodded. "Yes, I promise."

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Now, being that this particular part of the plan is cleared up, we have to decide what time this is going to occur and where we should position ourselves. What do you see Alice?"

"I see the confrontation occurring at midnight tomorrow night. The moon will be full and Victoria will track Bella's scent to the meadow, where she will find both her and Edward." Alice offered, as if in a daze.

"Very well then." Carlisle said with approval. "Then we will be there with the both of them before the eleventh hour approaches. We will take our positions and await Victoria's arrival. No one is to approach Victoria unless I give the command." He turned to look at me." Once Edward has her full attention, I want you to run towards the wood line where Alice will be waiting for you, and she will take you further into the woods to keep you safe, where you will still be able to view Edward. The rest of us will be flanking his sides in the woods should he need us. This issue with Victoria will be remedied tomorrow night regardless, and then it is my wish for us to move forward with our lives."

I nodded in confirmation, glad that Carlisle understood my need to be able to see Edward during his fight with Victoria. I still couldn't quite understand why his family would let him fight her all by himself, but I knew that this was something personal for Edward, and he possessed the desire to end it once and for all. My only fear was not for myself, but for Edward. I feared loosing him to Victoria's wrath and suffering as she had at the loss of her mate. But, I was determined to have some faith in him, I knew that he wouldn't take on something so much larger than him if he knew he couldn't win. I also knew that if Carlisle was willing to let Edward take this on his own, that he already knew the outcome would be in our favor. I closed my eyes and pictured Alice's vision's as I thought she would see them in my mind, finally understanding that this knowledge had come from her. I knew that there was no way Carlisle would let Edward fight alone if he knew that it would end badly.

"Are you okay love?" Edward's voice called out, breaking me from my thoughts.

I opened my eyes and looked around the room, noticing that everyone else had left the room. I had been standing, lost in my own mind and hadn't noticed their exit.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking about everything, trying to understand it all." I sighed, and walked over to the couch and plopped down.

Edward took a seat beside me and wrapped his hands around mine. "Well, that's what you do best. But please, promise me one thing."

"What is that?" I asked, curious.

"Please try not to analyze it too much. I know how overbearing your thoughts can become to you, and I just want you to rest and leave everything else to us."

"I'll try." I half promised, not really sure if I could keep my word.

"Bella..." Edward whispered, reaching up to cup my cheek in his hand. "I love you with everything that I am, and I will not let any harm come to you. You are my life, and more important than my own. I am doing this for us, so that we can live peacefully without having to look over our shoulders. Like Carlisle said earlier, once this is done, we can move on with our lives and without any interference."

"I understand Edward, and I would love to move on as well. I want so badly to be able to move on with you and our own lives, together. But my fear isn't for myself, it's for you. I don't want to loose you, I've already lost you once and believe me, that was enough for an entire lifetime. I just can't imagine being without you again, I couldn't...I just couldn't deal with not having you here with me! I know I sound like a love stricken school girl, and maybe I am! Maybe I am being selfish and seem to be dependent upon you for getting through daily life, but the fact of it is Edward, is that I honestly can't imagine it being any other way. I don't want to loose you or what we have!"

Edward smiled tenderly and wiped the tears that had begun to stream down the desperate expression on my face. He braced his strong hand behind my head and cradled me in his arms, pulling me against his chest.

"I will never leave you again, you have my word. But fighting Victoria isn't something you should fear for me love. I am much stronger and faster than her on her best day. She will be only a pebble in my path and removing her from our world will only lead to peace. We both know that it's the only way, and I wouldn't go into this fight if I knew the outcome would end in a negative way. I would _never_ willingly leave you again."

I muttered something incoherently into his chest and wrapped my arms around him. I continued to let my tears fall, not because I was sad, but because I was almost relieved that this unending chase from Victoria was about to come to an end. It would not only mark another chapter in my life, but for those surrounding me as well. It meant that Jacob would be out of his deal with Victoria, being forced to eventually find his own path in life and maybe he could begin an attempt at making amends with his pack and family. But, after everything that had been done, I knew that making amends with me would be next to impossible. There was no way I could forgive him for hurting me so badly, and I knew that there was no way that Edward was going to let him near me.

After what had seemed to be hours of being wrapped in Edward's arms, he finally loosened his hold around me and brought my head up with his hand tucked underneath my chin.

"Did you fall asleep on me?" he asked, obviously a bit amused at my grogginess.

I shook my head. "No, I was just lost in thought as usual."

"I think you dozed off there. You're breathing became slow and steady."

"Maybe I did, who knows with me." I mumbled, wiping the dried tears from my face.

Edward let out a soft chuckle. "Yeah, I think it's safe to assume that you fell asleep."

Just as Edward spoke his last word, my cell phone rang out. I reached down and promptly pulled it from my pocket, glancing at it.

"It's Charlie." I said, as I let it ring. I couldn't decide if I was ready or not to speak with him.

"Are you going to answer it?" Edward questioned me out of concern. "You should really speak to him, you know. At least he's reaching out to you. It's better than nothing at all."

"I know," I sighed. "But I'm not ready to confront him just yet. I don't really feel like discussing anything with him at this point as I already have enough on my plate to deal with."

"I understand, but that is your father. At least consider calling him back, will you?" Edward pleaded.

I nodded. "Sure, but I don't want to." I said, as I stood from the couch and began making my way to the stairs, climbing them to the guest bedroom.

Once in my room, I sat down on the foot of the bed silently debating my return phone call to my Dad. Edward was right, as usual, which irked me. At least he was reaching out to me, even if it was to just twenty question me, it was better than nothing, and a lot more than I had expected.

I looked around the room and noticed that Edward hadn't followed me up here. Maybe he was just giving me some space to call Charlie back, or maybe consider it.

I opened my phone up and took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly before I hit send on my phone, calling Charlie back.

"Hello? Bella?" Charlie's voice came across the phone line. He seemed like he had been crying but I knew better.

"Dad? It's me, I was returning your call."

"Thanks Bells, I was just uh....just calling to make sure that you were okay. I haven't heard from you."

"I know, it's only been less than twenty-four hours since I last saw you. Not a lot can happen during that time." I said, trying to be casual.

"Well, when it concerns you...a lot can happen."

"Yeah, yeah...I know Dad. I always have the worst of luck. Nothing new."

Charlie cleared his voice and spoke again, his voice seeming to trail from the receiver. "So, uh...are you coming back home tonight?"

The questioned sent a panic through my mind, I hadn't even had the time to discuss what I was going to do with Edward. I wasn't prepared to answer his question.

"I'm not sure Dad. I'm not sure what I'm going to do just yet. I was thinking about staying a little bit longer, for a few more days. You know, until things calm down at least."

"What is there to calm down? Billy said that Jacob has fled the state, so we don't have to worry about him for a while I'm betting. You should come on home, at least I know you'll be safe here." Charlie pleaded.

"I'm safe here too Dad, Edward and his family won't let anything happen to me, so you shouldn't worry. "

"So I shouldn't worry? That is easier said than done Bella, you're my daughter. I'm always going to worry."

"I know, I'm sorry if I made it sound that way, but I'm just not ready to come home right now."

"Bella, you're place is here at home. I don't want to force you to do anything that you don't want to do, believe me. But I just need to know that you are safe and somewhere where I can keep an eye on you."

"Dad, you have to work all the time, so you won't be able to keep a constant eye on me. What are you going to do, drag me to work with you? I'm safe here like I said before, there is always someone here with me. And, if it makes you feel any better, you are more than welcome here at any time, so don't hesitate to come visit me if it helps. You're still my Dad no matter what."

"Alright, I tried. And just remember that you are always welcome here at any time as well, it's your home too you know."

"I know."

"Well, at least call me and let me know what you decide, okay?"

"Okay, I will. I promise."

"Alright, well...I love you Bells. I'll talk to you soon."

"I love you too Dad. Bye."

I flipped my phone closed and stretched out across the bed. I wanted to cry because I knew that I had once again hurt my Dad's feelings, but the feeling of relief overrode it. I was glad that we weren't fighting and that he had at least given me the room to make decisions for myself, regardless of how much he hated it. We were both learning.

I heard the bedroom door open and I turned expecting to see Edward standing in the doorway. It was Alice, and she bounced across the room landing on the bed beside me.

"It will all turn out okay, I promise." Alice, said reassuringly.

I shook my head containing my amusement. "There has been a lot of promises made today. I'm starting to loose track of who has promised what."

"You only need to worry about the promises you've made. That's what is important."

"But what about the promises made to me? You, Edward and others have all made me promises. Can you keep them?" I asked, wanting a more definite answer.

"It's not about the promises Bella, it's about if you truly trust us or not. I can only imagine that putting your life in our hands isn't the easiest thing to do." Alice paused for a moment, assessing my posture. "Do you trust us?"

"Yes, I trust you all, but trust and words won't get us anywhere in the end. To me, it's all about the actions. I trust you all to defend me and to protect me, but what if you can't? Then your words are nothing, and your promises empty."

"Bella!" Alice said incredulously. "I will never make you an empty promise. If I can't see the outcome of any situation, I'll be honest with you and say as such. But I will never sit here and have you put your trust in me when I can't alone guarantee it."

"And what about Edward, can you guarantee his promises? Or can _he_ even guarantee them?"

"Listen, Edward does depend a great deal on my visions, but he also has his own feelings, and abilities to follow through on, that keep him connected with what is going on around him. He is also one that would never lie to you to keep you calm, or tell you things that you want to hear. If he gives you his word, then you should take it for what it's worth, and to me that is saying a lot. He is right though, you do worry too much."

"I have no choice but to worry Alice, I don't want to loose him again. I don't want to loose any of you. And what hurts the most is that all of this concerning Victoria is because of me. If it weren't for me coming into your lives, you wouldn't be dealing with this right now."

"This isn't necessarily true Bella, if we weren't dealing with Victoria, we would be dealing with something else. Don't think that this is all your fault, I won't join your pity party. This is all happening because it's what is suppose to happen. All of this was meant to be, and if you want to look at it my way, it's happening because it's supposed to bring us all together as a family."

"But I'm not part of the family, not like how the rest of you are. I'm not even in the same vicinity, I'm the outsider." I remarked, letting the reality of the matter sink in.

"But you already _are_ a part of the this family, that's what you don't get. Just because you aren't a vampire or married to Edward doesn't mean that you aren't one of us. We all love you dearly Bella, and we all accept you as a member, regardless." With that, Alice reached out and gave me a reassuring hug, her smile bright and clear with all intentions to relay the love and affection of the rest of her family.

I pulled back out of the embrace and forced a smile. "Thanks Alice, you always know what to say to make me feel better." I straight up lied, because it _didn't_ make me feel any better, but I wanted her to believe that it did. There was nothing at this point that was going to make me feel good about what was going to happen tomorrow night. I wanted more than anything for the confrontation to be over with so I could actually breathe a sigh of relief, and actually knew everyone was going to be safe.

Alice clicked her tongue against the inside of her cheek while she studied my expression. I was trying to maintain my facade but she saw right through it. Thankfully Edward entered the room about the time she started to say something and cut her off.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Edward asked, a slight grin sneaking itself in at the corner of his lips.

Alice glanced at me then back to Edward, rolling her eyes. "Do you really have to ask?" she questioned, sarcastically.

Edward shrugged. "I just thought that I would be courteous and ask." he said, as he moved to my other side, pulling me into his arms, and started kissing me on the side of my neck.

"Ugh!" Alice blurted out, rolling her eyes again. "That's my cue to leave!" she said, as she quickly made her exit from the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

"I don't know why she shut the door, it's not like the rest of your family can't hear us anyway."

Edward chuckled and stopped his caresses. "It's the thought that counts."

"Kind of like how you promised me that you'll come out of the fight with Victoria unscathed? It's the thought that counts right?"

Before I knew what had hit me, Edward had spun me around on the bed and hovered over me like a predator that had just captured it's prey.

"So, the fact that you say you don't want to loose me, that you wouldn't want to be without me. It's the thought that counts right?" Edward said, countering my words.

"That's...That's not what I meant! What I said about loosing you has nothing to do with promises!" I spat, pushing my hands against his chest, not moving him.

"Oh, so saying you'll love me forever isn't a promise?" he taunted.

"Yes! Yes it's a promise, you...stop trying to confuse me!"

"I'm not trying to confuse you, I simply stating the facts. I promise you that I won't leave you and that I will walk away from the fight with Victoria unharmed and you seem to think it's all empty promises."

I gasped and raised my brows in surprise.

"Yes," Edward said fervently. "I heard the conversation between you and Alice." he paused for a moment hovering mere inches above my face, his cool breath sweeping over me. "If you should believe that my promises are empty, then why shouldn't I believe that your promise to love me forever isn't empty as well?"

"Be..Because it's not the same!" I said curtly.

"Stop it Bella, stop questioning everything. Because if I even for once questioned your word to me, then where would we be? If I didn't trust you, we would be nothing, have nothing. Our relationship wouldn't be worth having, it wouldn't exist. There are four cornerstones that make up a relationship, and it's devotion, intimacy, respect and trust. Without those things we have nothing, we're merely shells of two people that claim they have something. So, if you can't trust me, then you don't need me."

I laid there staring up into his amber eyes, letting his words sink in. _'If you can't trust me, then you don't need me.'_ He was right, if there was no trust, then we were nothing. I had no choice but to trust him, and it had to start now.

"Edward, I...I do trust you. I trust you with everything that I am. I'm just scared, and as much as I hate to admit that to you, it's the truth. I'm just scared that I'll loose you to Victoria and my questioning everything somehow makes it seem less like a reality." I confessed, letting him know exactly how I felt.

"Bella, the reality of it is, is that nothing bad is going to happen to me. Would I go into the fight if I knew that she would take away my existence and leave you behind to suffer my loss and her wrath? Probably not, but if I knew that giving up my existence so that you could live, I would. I wouldn't think twice about it. Especially if it meant that Victoria was dead and you would be able to live the rest of your life without harm."

A cold chill suddenly flew through my body. What was Edward trying to tell me?

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:** So! Bella finally got her way, I just can't wait to see how she fares at the actual confrontation! Let me know what you think, or what should happen! As always, thank you for your thoughts and ideas and reviews!

**Coming Up**... Chapter 25 'Battle' The fight with Victoria begins.....


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author Note:** I sincerely apologize for taking forever to update this story. Life has a way of throwing things at you. But I promise, that I am back on task, and promise to deliver a chapter a week. I cannot do a chapter a day as before, my job just expects too much of me! How dare they! :)

**Story Notes: **Will Bella finally realize what Edward was trying to tell her? Not everyone can always be safe, there can never be a guarantee that all will emerge unharmed in a fight. What will the outcome be for Bella and Edward?

* * *

**Chapter 25 :::Battle:::**

I stood in the middle of the meadow, focused on keeping my breathing at a steady pace. My fingers felt ice cold, as if they were going numb, so I quickly brought them against my chest in an attempt to warm them. A cold hard silence crept through the woods, bringing with it an eerie yet calming breeze. I trained my eyes on the wood line, the ghostly outlines of the trees were curiously visible in the haunting darkness and the greater illumination of the moonlit sky. I kept expecting her to come flying toward me at any moment, but I was focusing too hard and my eyes were beginning to play tricks on me. Black shadows danced around me, as if to mimic what lied in store for me, bowing in and out of the wood line, climbing to the tops of the trees and back down. I closed my eyes tightly and shook my head, trying to force out the disturbing images.

A cold hand moved tightly around my neck; causing me to jump as I emitted a sharp shriek.

"Bella!" Edward whispered in a harsh tone. "Please keep it together, I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"I'm fine." I stated firmly.

Edward loosened his hand on my neck and pulled me into a protective embrace, placing my back against his chest as if to give me an extra sense of security.

"No, you're not fine. You're letting your thoughts run wild and get the best of you." He said, as his cool breath washed over my neck, sending chills down my spine. "Just focus on us, on me, on my touch. Let your thoughts take you to a place that she can never go, a place where she can never find us."

I closed my eyes and immediately, images began to dance through my mind. Swirls of colors twirled about, as if someone had hand painted a million tiny ribbons and set them free in a whirlwind. Suddenly, a malicious image of a woman with flaming red hair and a face enveloped with rage forced me from my serene thoughts in an instant. I shook my head to clear the image and opened eyes to reassure myself that it was actually all in my head.

"This will be over with soon." Edward promised, obviously sensing my inability to stay in control of my emotions. "I know, and that isn't what I'm worried about." I said, trying to turn in his arms, straining to see if I could see the rest of the Cullens . His hold on me tightened even more, "Don't worry, they are out there. You can't see them, but they are there."

"I know…." I stalled, trying to muster up one last bit of fake courage. "I was just checking to make sure everyone was in their place…you know, that they're ready." Edward let out a soft chuckle, amused at my attempt to be nonchalant. "I don't think you have to worry about them, they know exactly what they are doing."

"Besides," Edward paused for a moment. "Aren't you supposed to be envisioning us in a special place? And not worrying about whether or not the rest of my family can take care of themselves?"

"I tried, but it didn't seem to work so well for me." I replied, tensing at the frustration in my voice.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because two's company, three's a crowd."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Edward questioned, not understanding the phrase.

I shook my head not really wanting to have to explain it at this particular moment. "It means that my thoughts of us were interrupted with the image of Victoria's scowling face, not something that I really want to envision at this point in time." I stated, as a matter of fact.

Edward spun me around slowly and his eyes locked with mine. "After tonight, she's not going to bother us anymore. She will be a part of our past, just a memory that we can look back on and that will remind us that we can endure anything that comes our way."

I opened my mouth, then closed it again, not knowing what to say. I felt strangely comforted by his words. I smiled reluctantly and nodded, a silent gesture that was meant to tell him that I completely understood.

Edward glanced quickly towards the wood line as if something or someone had demanded his attention and nodded. Once his focus was back on me, he said, "I think we should be quiet now and just listen."

"All right," I said finally. To my relief, my voice sounded normal.

The moon, directly overhead now, lit everything nearly to daylight brightness. I moved slowly to Edward's side, but in between one step and another I saw something white blur through the trees. I jerked hastily back in fright, stumbling on my own feet as my breath escaped my lungs in a loud gasp. Edward already had a hand out to steady me, and just as I turned to apologize, I was somehow in the circle of his arm and he was kissing me. It was almost as if he had never kissed me before; His mouth was hard on mine, unyielding; then he put both arms around me and pulled me against him. I felt the pressure of his lips soften on mine, the rapid beat of my heart pounding through my chest; the taste of sweetness on his mouth. I wound my hands into his hair, letting it curl around my fingers, silky and fine. My heart continued to hammer, and there was a rushing sound in my ears, like beating wings.

Edward drew away from me with tenderness like I'd never known from him, unlike anything I had experienced with him before. His arms were still around me, "I love you Bella, please never forget that. Loving you, having your love, has completed me. I would have never been so fulfilled if it had not been for you loving me. I am nothing without you, my life never had any meaning until I met you."

"Edward…" I begged, tears forming in my eyes. "Please stop." I didn't want him to say this to me. I knew exactly why he was, and no matter how badly I loved him, letting him say goodbye to me was definitely not going to happen.

"No Bella," he said, in such a soft whisper that I could barely make it out. " I _want_ you to hear me."

I shook my head, "No!, No I won't listen to this, I'm not letting you say goodbye to me!" I snapped.

"Bella, please…" Edward trailed off as he took my face in his hands, forcing my gaze to his. His eyes softened into a look of despair. "I love you Bella, and I have to tell you something…." He was sharply cut off mid-sentence and his body quickly stiffened. He snapped his head up to look behind me.

"Come." Was all he said to me as he drew me with him to melt into the shadows, closer to the edge of the woods. For a brief moment I half-thought I glimpsed a flicker of white movement through the trees, a flash of whiteness that could have been a face. I felt my heightened nervousness in my spine, the hairs raised instinctively along my neck and arms, the pulse in my wrists quickened, and the hard beat of blood pounded in my ears. The agonizing cry of a wild animal nearby was sent reeling through the air, and I knew in my heart that something was attacking it. _That_ something was evil, something that was headed for us, and wanted us to know it was coming.

Suddenly everything fell into an awkward silence. I stepped slowly back, moving further behind Edward, the only sound was the crunch of my own shoes on the wet grass. I quickly wished I could walk soundlessly, like a vampire. Maybe someday I would.

"She's here." Edward whispered, cutting off my thoughts. He held his hand up to me, not wanting me to move.

"You are merely kidding yourself if you think that I'm the one that's going to die tonight." The voice said.

I froze, staring into the shadows all around the woods, the images coming up empty. For a panicked moment I wondered if I'd imagined the voice, but Edward was frozen too, his face bore an intense look of alertness. I could tell that he was concentrating, waiting, completely focused on _her_.

"Are you going to come out and play? Or am I going to have to come in after you like the coward that you are?" Victoria said, amused.

Victoria stepped forward, out of the thickest of the shadows into the meadow. The shape of her evolved slowly; tall and thin boned, with the big red eyes and ghastly white skin. She was much lighter skinned than Edward and the rest of his family, but I quickly attributed it to the fact that she fed off of humans. She was actually beautiful in her own way, I thought. Long, red curly hair, nearly the precise color of a burning flame, which flowed down her back in perfect curls. She wore an ankle length, black trench coat, the sleeves belled out around her slim arms. Underneath, shore wore a black ensemble that seemed to run continuously down the length of her, right into her black high-heeled boots. _What idiot would wear something like that to a fight? I'd kill my own self in a get-up like that_. A quick flicker of red brought my attention to her neck. Around it, was a thick gold chain, on which hung a dark red pendant the size of a baby's fist. I only had to narrow my eyes to know that it was real-real precious.

A cool smile curled Victoria's lips as she pointed to me. "If you give her to me, I'll let you live." She said to Edward, without turning her malicious glare away from me. "But…" She didn't finish. Edward moved with lightning swiftness, striking out at Victoria with an open hand, a blow to her chest knocking her across the meadow and into a thick of trees. It was like a thunderstorm was overhead, the sound of her landing into the trees sent out a rolling thud, snapping the trees in half like toothpicks. I staggered back, feeling helpless, I didn't want to hide but I also didn't want to leave Edward out there on his own. Even though I knew the rest of the Cullens were lying in wait just behind me, I still felt vulnerable. I felt as if I should be doing something instead of just standing there and do nothing, he was fighting for me; I had to help somehow, someway.

A matrix of white and black swirled around the meadow as Victoria and Edward fought. Suddenly Edward came crashing to the ground in front of me; he quickly stood up and staggered for a brief moment as he gathered his bearings. Victoria came bearing down on him again, and with quick flick of his wrist, he sent her flying into a pile of jagged rocks, crumbling them into tiny pieces. She recovered instantly and started for me, her teeth bared in a snarl, her gaze fixed intensely.

A hard blow to my chest sent my body flying backwards to the ground, my head pounding against the unforgiving dirt, feeling as if I was cracking my head against a cement paver. I could feel what I thought was the dampness of the ground through the back of my shirt. _Is it the ground that's wet my shirt or is it blood?_ I decided that I really didn't want to know. Abruptly, the pain reached my nerve endings, screaming at me not to move, but I ignored it. I felt like I couldn't breathe so I twisted my body to the side, my ribs feeling like they were going to shatter. My arm was pinned beneath me, so I twisted some more, trying to work my hand free. As if from a distance, I could hear myself screaming in pain. I finally rolled myself all the way over and began trying to scramble away to protection. Suddenly a force came down onto my wrist, causing me to yank away with a scream, more in pain than in fear.

"Stop it, you idiot…It's me!" Alice proclaimed, pulling my ragged body up into her arms and carrying me with swiftness, away from the mêlée.

"No!" I tried to scream at her. "No! Don't take me away from Edward, I have to stay!" I begged, with all the strength I could muster. "I'm not leaving him!"

I managed to turn my aching head and look behind Alice at Edward, catching only a momentarily glimpse of him, as he looked at me with saddened eyes. I could feel his pain for me, as if it were his own.

"Bella, we have to get you some help!" Alice demanded. "I can't leave you here to watch, not with the shape that you are in."

"I don't care!" I screamed. "Please put me down!"

"At least let me get you somewhere safe, somewhere where we can at least hide and watch. But not here, it's too close."

"Fine, but…" The gurgling feeling in my throat cut off my plea. I instantly recognized the taste in mouth, it was blood, and it tasted like old coppery pennies. I used the sleeve of my shirt to wipe the corner of my mouth as Alice laid me down on my side in a soft patch of damp grass. I recognized the surroundings as the mountain top Edward had brought me to when we had first met. I knew that I'd be safe there, but not for how long.

I could still see Edward in the distance, fighting Victoria. "Why isn't she dead yet?" I asked Alice, not understanding why the rest of the Cullens hadn't intervened by this point.

Alice answered, as if she had read my mind. "He wants to kill her himself, he doesn't want any help from us. This is personal for him Bella, she's after you."

"But it would go so much quicker." I reasoned, turning to Alice with a raised brow.

She nodded. "Yes, but that isn't what he wants. "

"But they will…" I stopped, the gurgling in my chest causing me to cough. I managed to pull my arm up to my face, and once again, wiped the corners of my mouth with my sleeve.

"Oh Bella." Alice said, with an anguished tone. "Here, let me help you." And she reached out with a cloth in her hand.

I brushed off her attempt to aid me, by waving my hand at her. "No, I'm fine. But just answer me, they will help him if they know he needs it right?"

Alice sighed. "You already know the answer to that."

A ferocious snarl that echoed through the air snapped my attention back to the fight below. I watched in horror as Victoria delivered a vicious blow to Edward that lifted him off his feet and hurled him against the mountain side. He struck with a sickening crunch and slid to the ground. She turned and let out a shrieking laugh.

"EDWARD!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. He didn't move. "EDWARD!" I became hysterical, tears falling from my face as I began to drag myself toward the side of the ledge.

Alice begged me to stop and pulled me back towards her. "He's okay, I promise." She said, pulling me into her arms. "They won't let anything happen to him, I promise you Bella. I promise!"

I laid there frozen, staring at Edward's crumpled body like someone caught in a bad dream. "Please wake me up Alice, wake me up now!"

"It's not a nightmare Bella, I wish it was, but it's not."

I forced my way into a sitting position. Wincing, I pushed my bloody hair back and screamed again for Edward.

Victoria was obviously gloating and heading gingerly towards Edward when she stopped dead in her tracks and looked up towards Alice and I. She let out a laugh that would stir the blood of any human. But that was all that was needed, a mere half of a second, maybe even less than that because I don't believe even a human mind would've been able to conceive it. When Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper appeared out of nowhere, snapping her in half, then into pieces as they burned her. Victoria's laugh was still lingering by the time they had finished.

My whole world was spinning, as I sat there and watched them pick up Edward and move towards the woods with him. I knew I had to be with him, and I knew there wasn't going to be any goodbyes. Definitely not on my part, not if I had anything to do with it.

"I have to get to Edward." I said, mostly out loud to myself. I was trying to stay in touch with reality, it was a sad and painful reality, but it was mine and Edward was still in it.

I tried desperately to get to my feet, but the pain kept knocking me down.

Alice reached to stop me. "Careful Bella, you're hurt. Please stop trying to get up, I'll carry you."

"I'm fine." I gurgled, feeling my chest tighten on me, and tried to force myself up once more.

I felt dizzy, and couldn't understand why I was loosing focus on my surroundings. I looked up at Alice with confusion as she spun round and round. "Alice….I" I heard my voice drifting off as my reality faded into blackness.

"BELLA!"

* * *

**Chapter End Notes: **So, it looks as if Bella and Edward didn't escape unscathed from the fight. Who hurt Bella? Will she recover from her injuries and from what she saw happen to Edward? Will Edward recover? We shall see...

Let me know what you think, or what should happen! As always, thank you for your thoughts and ideas and reviews!

**Coming Up**... Chapter 26:: Time


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes: **Will Bella's life return to as it was before with Edward? She had succumbed to her injuries and was left without any word on Edward and his well being. Will she survive her own injuries and will she finally find out what has happened to Edward ?

_"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity."_

_~Henry Van Dyke~_

* * *

**Chapter 26 :::Time:::**

"Carlisle, Do you think she'll wake up? It's been four days already." A soft feminine voice inquired.

"Be patient love, we have to give her time. The elixir I gave her hasn't worn off yet. It's very strong, and she's better off in a chemically induced sleep than awake and tormented with her pain."

"Humans are so fragile, aren't they?"

"Yes they are Esme; I see it all the time, but it's always so hard to remember how it was for me when I was human. I don't remember those days as much as I would like to."

_Four days_, I thought slowly. All my thoughts ran as thickly and slowly as blood or honey. _I have to wake up. _

But I couldn't.

The dreams held me, one after the other, a river of images that bore me along like a leaf tossed in a current. I saw myself lying in a hospital bed, eyes like bruises in my pale face. I saw Jasper, standing atop a pile of smoking ashes. Edward carrying me in his arms, floating through the air like a feather, drifting endlessly as the wind kept it aloft. Esme sitting at the side of my bed; looking as if she'd been crying and holding a golden bowl that ran thick with a red liquid. Emmett, holding something that shined a brilliant red in his hands, and then tossing it as it tried to burn into his palms. Beautiful pallid Angels, falling and burning, falling out of the sky into the mouth of an all-consuming flame.

"I told you she would be okay. I've already seen it." Alice's voice softly chirped, trying to reassure her parents.

"I know, poor girl…" Carlisle paused, as if to choose his words carefully. "She would have died from her injuries if we hadn't seen to her when we did. But she's tough though, I knew she wouldn't let go, not with Edward…" he trailed off.

"But I should have seen _that_." Alice said guiltily, knowing already what Carlisle was thinking.

"I know," said Esme, "But no one could have seen it. You can't hold yourself responsible for what happened. That's why the decision was made at the last minute, she knew you would see her decision, and so did Aro. It's not your fault Alice, you have to believe that."

Alice let out an unnecessary, resigned sigh. "I can believe that Aro _would_ do something like that, he just out-smarted me by letting someone else make the decisions."

"Well, it is finished. And I don't believe that it is in Bella's best interest that we continue discussing this in front of her…just in case she can hear us." Carlisle quietly demanded.

_Of course I can hear you_, I thought. I wanted them to continue the conversation; I wanted to know more about Edward. _Where was Edward? Is he hurt badly? Why aren't they talking more about him? Why is Aro involved in this? I want to know what is going on!_

I knew that from the last time I had laid eyes on Edward, he had been hurt badly. His body had looked utterly defeated laid up against the side of the mountain. His lifeless body had lay crumpled into itself, leaving Victoria a wide open opportunity to officially seal his fate.

But then I remembered him being carried off, and Jasper and Carlisle along with Emmett burning the body of Victoria. So that meant he had a chance, a chance to survive; a chance to fight for us.

I tried to open my mouth, but it felt glued shut. The heaviness of my own body weight caved in on me. I continued to lay there immobilized, completely aware of my surroundings and entirely unable to communicate. I felt my blood boil with rage, I wanted to lash out, to scream, but my body continued to lay in a frozen state, unresponsive to my anger.

The sound of weight shifting brought me back to reality.

"Well, I'm going to go check on the others." Alice said. "I'm going with you as well." Esme quietly offered. With a soft padding of feet across the room, the sound of a door closing quietly in its tracks soon left me in silence.

I listened intently for any sound; in particular I wanted to see if I could hear Edward's voice. I could barely make out the sounds of the muffled voices as they were carried away down the stairs below me.

"She will be okay." I heard a soft whisper, almost unintelligible. "I promise you this."

_Carlisle?_ I had forgotten that he was still in the room. _But who is he talking to? I've never known Carlisle to speak to himself; the poor man hadn't lost it that badly._

"She took a traumatic blow to the chest."

_I what? _I thought to myself, automatically assuming this one-sided conversation was about me.

"I've never seen a normal human continue on like Bella did afterward…"

_Yep it's me…. And thanks Carlisle; I did what any 'abnormal' human would do._

"She's stronger than we gave her credit for, which is for certain."

_Thanks for the vote of confidence for the weakling._

"But it just proves to me how strong of a vampire she will turn out to be."

_Whoa! That I'm gonna what? Who? Are we still talking about me?_

"Bella will continue to heal quickly; we just have to give her more time."

_Carlisle, you've lost your mind completely. You can stop talking about me in the third person!_

"You must keep your strength; it isn't wise to just sit there endlessly in watch." Carlisle paused, unable to hide the fatherly concern in his voice. "She'll be alright… You _have_ to feed."

I knew in an instant, that it hadn't been me that he had been speaking to this entire time.  
_Was it Edward he was speaking to?_ I knew it wasn't Esme or Alice; they had left the room earlier. And there was no way that Rosalie would stay herself for an indebted amount of time, or to even let Emmett stay as well. _Could it be Jasper?_ Maybe it _was_ Jasper staying by my side, which would make perfect sense. He would be here to ensure that I stayed relaxed and calm. But if it really was Jasper, then he would have felt my rage, the uneasiness…he would have sensed it right away and would have known that I could hear what was going on. He would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was awake underneath this façade.

Whoever it was, they were keeping silent.

Once more, I tried to move. I willed my mouth to open and utter any kind of sound. I desperately wanted Carlisle and my silent visitor to know that I could hear them, that I really was awake, and that I was okay. I knew that if it _was_ Edward sitting in the room with me, he had to have been beside himself, beating himself up on the inside, looking like death on the outside. If it _was_ him, I couldn't just lay here and do nothing. I had to let him know him that I was fine, to be able to touch him; to run my fingers across his face and promise him that I'm not going anywhere.

I heard who I thought had to be Carlisle standing up from a sitting position at the side of my bed. I could easily distinguish the heavier, masculine footsteps as they made their way across the wooden floor, and finally coming to a halt on the other side of the room. The sound of curtains sliding along their metal perch coincided with the light fading from my eyelids.

I could faintly hear Carlisle whisper something, but I couldn't make out what he said. Suddenly, I heard his shoes turn around against the floor causing it to squeak beneath him.

"Just make sure that you go and feed tonight. I will not accept anything less." Carlisle instructed, and his steps carried him to the bedroom door, opening it. "I will send Alice in here to relieve you, and Emmett can go with you so you aren't alone." And as a finality to his last statement, the door closed abruptly behind him; his footsteps fading off down the hallway.

I felt myself drawn back into my silent prison once again, but this time, I knew for a fact that I wasn't alone. I strained my ears to hear him, hoping that it was Edward sitting in there with me. Maybe if he made a sound I could identify him somehow, but knowing he didn't breathe and was stealth as predator made matters worse. All that came to me from the four corners of the room was pure and dead silence. It was the type of silence that caused ringing in your ears, the same exact silence that made you able to hear your own blood pumping through your veins.

I listened as the air from the room filtered in and out of my body. I felt the rise and fall of my chest, and to my own amazement, even I was surprised that I could at least move that portion of my body. Carlisle's _elixir_ had to wear off at some point, but unfortunately for me it wasn't soon enough.

The echo of a chair creaking awakened my senses. Considering the pitch of the tone and closeness, it led me to believe that it came from beside my bed.

And then the chair creaked again, but this time I could tell it was because someone was shifting their weight, as if to find a more comfortable position, but I knew better. If it was Edward, he would be able to sit for hours without moving one single inch.

I shifted through all the reasons in my mind as to why this person or Edward would be moving about. Trying to imagine his image in my mind, I posed him in several different sitting positions; bent over with his arms crossed over the top of his knees; leaning back in the chair with his arms crossed against his chest; his elbows propped up on his legs with his face in hands, staring intently at me while I slept.

But he wouldn't know that I wasn't sleeping; from the outside I probably appeared as if I was resting peacefully. Lost in my dreams, thriving off the elixir Carlisle had given me and healing slowly, one aching day after another.

And that is when the most horrible, gut wrenching thought hit me. _What if I don't ever wake up? What if I'm destined to lay comatose; trapped in the confines of my own mind forever?_ Cursed to relive my dreams over and over, never waking to see, touch and feel Edward again; to make new memories of my own. My heart truly ached at the mere thought of never having the ability to lay eyes on him again; of feeling his cool skin against mine or the tender taste of his lips.

_If I never did physically wake up, would he stay by my side and wait for me always?_ I could envision the image of him wilting slowly away, never feeding; not ever wanting to leave my side. I naturally, without hesitation, would do the same thing for him. I would never leave his side, even if I knew that he would never wake again. I just knew in my heart that we weren't meant to live separate from the other.

But on the other hand, I wouldn't want him doing that for me. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing his was quietly wasting away, hoping one day that I would wake up. I would want him to go and live his life again, even if it meant without me.

The ghastly image of Edward wasting away into nothing quickly embedded itself into my mind. He was laid back in his armchair watching over me, his body emasculated. His skin was paper thin, almost translucent; the venom visibly coursing through his hardened veins. His face was a pasty white, his jet black eyes set deep into their sockets; a pitiful darkness encircling them. His hair was a dull brown and unkempt; what used to be his golden curls lay flat against his head.

The sadness that enveloped the image of him this way caused my heart to ache. The sting in my heart hurt way more than the pain I had previously endured. I would gladly go through it over and over again, just to not feel what was paining me at this very moment.

I could feel the agony creeping through my chest; I couldn't push the vision from my mind no matter how hard I tried. It tightened around my heart and forced its way up into my throat. I could feel tears trying to well up in my eyes, but nothing came forward.

The despair depleted my senses, and left me hopeless in fighting it. I let my body relax as the anguish washed over me. At that precise moment, a tormented cry escaped from my throat; though I never felt my mouth open.

I heard the chair creak and suddenly felt someone sitting on the bed beside me. A cool hand touched the side of my face as if to cradle it, as an icy thumb traced my bottom lip. I could feel the coolness of his breath as it brushed over my face, easing all my fears.

The last thing that I remember was thinking that at least now he knew I was going to be okay, and that maybe he knew that I was really awake. It didn't matter anymore, because his touch told me that everything was going to be okay.

I felt myself falling into a deep and peaceful slumber, taking the coolness of his touch with me.

* * *

My eyelids felt as if they had been sewed shut. I imagined I could feel tearing skin as I peeled them slowly open and blinked for the first time in what? Five days?

I could see clear blue sky above me, white puffy clouds and chubby angels with gilded ribbons trailing from their wrists. _Am I dead?_ I wondered. _Could heaven actually look like this?_ I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again; this time I realized that what I was staring at was an arched wooden ceiling, painted with a rococo motif of clouds and cherubs. _Esme_. Was my first thought.

Painfully I hauled myself into a sitting position. Every part of me ached, especially my ribs; and the back of my neck. I was tucked into a white linen-sheeted bed. One of only three things that resided in the bedroom. My bed had a small nightstand beside it with a white pitcher and cup on it. Lace curtains were pulled across the windows, blocking the light. I could hear the faint echo of familiar voices downstairs, stirring around as if to be going about their daily activities. This to me was oddly _un_familiar.

"So, you're finally awake," said a dry voice. "Carlisle will be pleased. We all thought you'd probably die in your sleep."

I turned. Rosalie was perched in the perfectly upholstered, white armchair next to me. Her long golden–blonde hair wound into two thick braids that fell past her waist. Her usual fanfare of an outfit had been replaced by faded denim jeans and a tight black tank top. _What's up with these people and their black clothing? _I silently wondered, quickly shaking the thought from my mind.

The bright diamond on her finger winked at me as she moved her hands, letting them rest on the arms of the chair. Her usual carefully perfected makeup was gone; her skin was bare and as unblemished as the surface of a bowl of cream. I never could figure out why she even bothered to wear any.

"Sorry to disappoint you." My voice rasped like sandpaper.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "I didn't mean that we _wanted_ you dead. We just expected that you…you know _would_ die on us." She said nonchalantly, waving her hand in dismissal at the conversation.

I coughed. "How long have you been sitting with me?"

"I've been here all night, in case you haven't figured that out already."

A sudden, stabbing pain made me clutch at my stomach. I gasped.

Rosalie looked at me in alarm. "Are you okay?"

The pain was fading, but I was aware of an acid feeling in the back of my throat and a strange light-headedness. "My stomach."

"Oh right. I almost forgot. Carlisle said to give you this if you woke up." Rosalie grabbed for the ceramic pitcher and poured some of the contents into the matching cup, which she handed to me.

"_If_ I woke up?" I winced.

The cup was full of a cloudy liquid that steamed slightly. It smelled like herbs and something else, something rich and dark.

"You haven't eaten anything in five days." Rosalie pointed out, ignoring my question. "That's probably why you feel sick. Carlisle said it would take a while for you to get your bearings back."

I gingerly took a sip. It was delicious, rich and satisfying with a buttery aftertaste. "What is this?"

Rosalie shrugged. "It's one of Carlisle's concoctions. I have no clue if they work." She slid off the bed, landing on the floor with a catlike arch of her back.

"Well, here's to hoping for success." I said, and downed the rest of the contents in my cup.

"Good Girl." Rosalie said, as I watched her slowly make her way around the room, tracing the artistic lines of the wallpaper as if she were purposely trying to avoid me.

"Where is Edward? Is he okay?" I asked, not caring an ounce about her reason to avoid me.

Rosalie shrugged again, speaking with her back to me. "Yeah he's fine, he's somewhere around here." she said. "I should go and tell him that you're up, I'm sure he will want to see you. I'll let Carlisle know as well."

Rosalie turned on her bare heels and made for the bedroom door. She stopped short before walking out and pointed. "The bathroom's through there, I hung some of your clothes on the towel rack in case you want to wash up."

I went to take another sip from the cup and found that it was empty. I no longer felt nauseated or light-headed for the moment, which was a relief. I set the cup back down and noticed I was wearing nothing but a long white t-shirt and instantly hugged the covers around me.

"What happened to my clothes?" I asked an amused Rosalie.

"They were covered in blood. Carlisle burned them."

"Oh did he?" I asked. "Tell me, is it often that he undresses his patients and burns their clothes?"

"Don't be a bitch Bella. He's not the one who undressed you." Rosalie snapped.

I scowled. "Oh I'm so sorry Rosalie; I didn't mean to take your job away from you on such a short notice. Next time I'll remember to ask your permission to be a bitch first."

That got Rosalie's attention and she laughed out loud. "Whatever gave you such an idea?

I quickly changed the subject, knowing exactly where this conversation was headed, and that was downhill fast. "So why wasn't I put in _my_ bedroom?"

For a fleeting moment Rosalie looked uncomfortable. "Because Edward…." She paused, never finishing her sentence.

My mouth opened in confusion.

Rosalie fidgeted, pushing back a blonde lock of hair behind her left ear. "Look, I'd better let everyone know you've woken up. They've been waiting for you to open your eyes for five days. Oh, and there's soap in the bathroom," she added. "You might want to clean up a little. You smell."

I glared at her. "Thanks a lot."

"Anytime." She shot back, and walked out of the room.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:** Please be kind and leave me a review! ;) I would love to hear about your thoughts and ideas! I know I had abandoned many of my loyal readers for the last few months and I feel very bad about it. Thanks everyone for sticking with me…and not giving up!

_**Coming up**_... Chapter 27 ::Healing::


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author Note**: A Big Thank You to **Simaril** and **jansails** for their reviews! And an even Bigger Thank You to **jansails** for unintentionally pointing out to me that I had misspelled Rosalie's name. I guess that what happens when you're up to 4am grinding out a chapter.

**Story Notes: **Soon after Bella woke up, she was left in a state of confusion as to what was going on and where Edward was. It seemed though, that Rosalie was keeping something of importance away from her. Find out how Bella fairs in catching up on the latest events as she continues to recover from her injuries. Five days… is a lot of time for anything to happen.

"_And this is for certain -__ the_ _body is not the measure of __healing__ – but peace and knowledge is the measure"_

* * *

**Chapter 27 :::Healing:::**

Having finished my shower, I ran the over-sized white towel through my hair, which left it damp and straggling around my face in fragrant tangles. Squinting at my reflection in the mirror, I could see a yellow and purplish bruise high up on my right shoulder, and my lips were dry and swollen. The entire right side of my face looked like I had run repeatedly head-on into a cement wall. I could tell where the black circle around my right eye had begun to fade and was just starting to turn yellow. _Ugh, I look rough_. I thought to myself. _There is no way I can let Charlie see me like this_. I suddenly realized that Charlie hadn't heard from me in five days, he must be going out of his mind. I knew that he had probably tried calling me, but hopefully he thought that I was still giving him the cold shoulder and decided to leave me alone. Oh well, I made a mental note to ask Edward about it when I spoke to him. _Edward!_ I had no idea why I was taking my sweet time poking at myself in the mirror and worrying about what Charlie was going to think when I should be finding Edward.

_I have to find Edward!_ I quickly combed out my hair slowly trying not to tug too hard; not wanting to aggravate the still dull-ache that was radiating through my head. My clothes were lying neatly folded on top of a cherry stained cabinet; the top was covered in marble, which to me looked like the real thing. I hurriedly put on my jeans, hopping around as I forced my still damp legs into each side, and then threw on a gray short-sleeve shirt. I looked around frantically for a pair of my shoes, but came up empty handed. I figured there would be plenty enough time to hunt for them later. I took a deep breath and left the room to find Edward.

The hallway outside of the room was empty. I glanced around, straining to see if I could hear anyone. _They know I'm awake, Rosalie didn't have to tell them anything, I know they heard it all.  
_I was still confused as to why no one had come to check on me once they knew I was up. I especially had expected Edward more than anyone to have already been in the room to see me.

I continued down the long hallway, it reminded me a bit of the ones I had in my dreams that I found myself racing down; narrow and infinite. Frosted lamps held up by Silver iron leaves adorned the plain white walls in intervals, and the air smelled of freshly cooked bacon and fried eggs. _Bacon and eggs?_ Esme, she knew I was awake.

In the distance I could hear the faint sound of voices, it seemed as if they were coming from downstairs so I moved to the stairs and quickly made my way down, trailing a hand along the banister. The sound of the voices I was following quickly grew louder, I could distinctively make out that it was Esme and Alice, and they were in the kitchen. I automatically assumed that Alice was helping her.

A very familiar and dearly missed sound broke me from my thoughts. I immediately identified it as the sound of a piano being played softly but with an undeniable perfection, and I fully recognized the tune; I knew it was Edward. I dashed down the hallway checking each room, knowing in my heart that he was nearby. Turning the corner, I came to a doorway, the door propped fully open. Peering in I saw what was clearly an acoustic room. A grand piano stood in the middle of the room, and rows of music books were arranged on shelves against the far wall. An unidentifiable instrument lay covered, hidden among the shadows in the corner of the large room.

Edward was seated at the grand piano, his slender hands moving rapidly over the keys. He was barefoot, dressed in jeans and a gray T-shirt, his golden hair ruffled up around his head as if he'd just woken up. Watching the quick, sure movements of his hands across the keys, I remembered how it had felt to be held by those hands, his arms holding me, making nothing else in the world matter.

He immediately stopped playing, his slender fingers still splayed on the keys. Instinctively I held my breath, trying to be quiet as possible hoping to watch him as he was for just a moment more. Without turning around, his voice softly spoke to me. "You can hold your breath as much as you would like, but you do know that it is your heart that gives you away."

"Sorry." I managed to choke out.

Edward turned around on his bench, his golden eyes peering lovingly at me; making my heart ache for his touch. "Bella, what are you apologizing for? You have done nothing wrong."

I stepped farther into the room towards him. "I…I don't know. I just thought I was disturbing you."

He tilted his head to the side, causing the light from the room to reflect off of his eyes. "Come here love." He said, motioning for me to come to him.

I made my way slowly to him and he wrapped me up in his arms, embracing me tightly. "My very own Sleeping Beauty." He whispered softly. "Who kissed this beautiful woman awake?"

"You did Edward, before you left to go hunting. I felt you touch my face and kiss me on my forehead." I admitted.

"You knew I went hunting?"

"Yes, I heard Carlisle telling you that you needed to feed, that you couldn't just sit there the entire time and not go hunt."

"So you could hear what was being said, even though you were asleep?" Edward quizzed.

"I wasn't asleep." I explained. "I was awake and aware; I just couldn't move my body or speak. It's like I was completely paralyzed or something. But I did hear Carlisle say that you had been watching me for too long, that you should go hunt; that he didn't want you sitting there for days just wasting away."

Edward sighed passionately, touching his forehead to mine. "I would have happily wasted away being by your side. I didn't want to leave you, I was afraid of you waking up and me not being there for you."

"That's what I was afraid of. I don't want you to put yourself in jeopardy just because of me. Promise me that you will take care of yourself first if anything like that should ever happen again."

"I can't promise you that, and you shouldn't worry about me, I can take care of myself."

"Then promise me you won't worry about me."

Edward squinted at me. "Can't do that."

"Why?"

"Because you are a fragile human." He said jokingly.

"Edward!" I exclaimed, playfully hitting his right arm. "Ouch!"

"See!" he laughed, proving his point.

I stepped back and grabbed my aching arm, rubbing and trying to soothe the pain shooting through it.

Edward immediately dropped his playful expression, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you that bad? I'm so sorry Bella." He said, taking my right arm into his hands, searching it over.

I shook my head. "No, it's not you. Besides, I hit you with my hand, not my arm."

He ran his hand down the length of my arm, his icy fingers causing my skin to tingle. "These bruises, they're from the other night."

"Yes, they are." I confirmed.

"I am so sorry Bella." He said remorsefully, his tone almost sorrowful.

"Stop apologizing Edward, it's not your fault."

"Yes it…." he paused, his eyes searching over me for more bruises. He moved his hand over my right eye, tracing the faint black and yellow circle, then down the side of my neck carefully following the bruise down to my shoulder. He slowly moved my shirt off of my shoulder and leaned in, softly kissing the reason for my pain.

"Yes it is my fault" he whispered intimately. "I should have removed you from that situation sooner, and I will never forgive myself for not doing so."

"Edward, no…" he cut me off, silencing me with his lips; kissing me feverishly. I passionately returned the indulgence, loosing myself in his kiss. He picked me up and pulled me back with him onto the piano bench, setting me in his lap. I wrapped my legs around him and pressed my body tightly up against him, never letting our lips cease their exotic dance.

Edward leaned further back onto the piano, the keys ringing out random tones from beneath him. Focused on our pleasurable frenzy, he forcefully pulled me into him, causing my chest to slam into his. I felt as the air rush out of my lungs, forcing me to gasp for air.

"Bella!" Edward screamed in horror, realizing what he had done and immediately lowered me to the floor in a sitting position; one arm around me, his other hand on my chest.

"Ed—ward!" I barely gasped, holding my chest.

Carlisle appeared in an instant. "Bella!" He knelt down at my side and tilted my head back to keep my airway clear. "Just close your eyes and focus on breathing, small amounts at a time, don't try to force it."

"Edward, what happened?" he paused, and I opened my eyes to look at him. "Never mind." he said without hesitation. "I already know." He was already giving Edward the evil eye and shaking his head in disappointment.

"You _knew_ she was hit in the chest, what _were_ you thinking?" Carlisle demanded.

I turned and looked at Edward on the other side of me. He looked as if someone had just thrown his puppy under a bus, and then backed on over it again. His face was pitiful, the anguish written all over him.

"I…I lost focus. I am truly sorry. I am so sorry Bella, I just lost control."

I just wanted to cry. Not only was the pain in my chest excruciating, but breathing wasn't coming so easy at the moment, and seeing Edward upset over hurting me made my heart hurt.

"I'm ….fine. Really, I am" I said, trying to convince the both of them.

Carlisle frowned. "Stop talking Bella and just worry about breathing."

"I can breathe just fine, please stop fussing over me. It's no big deal"

"Fine." Carlisle said "But I do want to take you to the hospital sometime tonight to get some x-rays done. Just to be safe."

I nodded in understanding. "That's fine with me, but I know Edward didn't hit me hard enough to break anything, so, I think I'm good to go."

I saw Edward wince out of the corner of my eye in response to my statement.

"It's not just that Bella." Carlisle added "It's mainly for the trauma you endured from the fight the other night, and then now this. Just let me take you, it will make me feel better if anything at all."

I silently nodded in agreement. "Okay"

"Good." Carlisle turned back to Edward. "Did you talk to her yet?"

"You know that I haven't" Edward replied. I assumed that Carlisle was saying this out loud because he purposely wanted me to know something. But for some reason, I found myself quietly wishing that he would have kept it between them.

"Well, let me know when you do so I can be there. But meanwhile, Esme and Alice have made her breakfast, she really needs to eat. Her body needs nourishment." Carlisle offered in concern.

"I'm really not that hungry." I said warily.

Carlisle shook his head and laughed. "You are _the_ _most_ hardheaded two that I know. Both of you have to practically be forced to eat."

"But I honestly don't feel hungry at all Carlisle."

"You drank the herbal tea I left you right?"

I nodded

"Well that's why, but it is only coating your stomach. If you don't eat, you will be feeling it soon."

"Fine." I agreed reluctantly, mostly to shut him up.

"Good, then we'll see you in the kitchen momentarily?"

I nodded again, and watched as he turned and left the room.

"Bella" Edward said with concern in his voice.

"No Edward." I already knew what was coming.

He ignored me anyway. "I am sorry for hurting you. I lost control, I should have known better."

"If I hear one more sorry from you for the rest of the day, I'm going to scream. I will sit here and scream so loud and for so long, until you can't take it anymore and run from the house pulling your hair out of your head in tears." I said, exasperated.

"But I can't shed tears." He said, a smirk crossing his face.

I laughed, glad that the tension in my chest and in the room was fading. "Well, believe me you'd wish you had some if it came to that."

Edward leaned in and kissed me on my forehead, still smirking. "Understood, I won't say it for the rest of the day, I promise. I know you're still healing so we'll take things slow for right now. But for now, we should start with getting you downstairs to eat something, okay?"

I groaned. "I really don't want to."

"Well then, you can tell Carlisle that yourself."

"Never mind then, I'll go."

Edward laughed, "That's what I thought."

Edward stood up and then reached down to help me up. It was a slow move to the door, but I was feeling a lot better and the breathing was much easier now. I felt like I was recovering from doing a twenty-foot drop belly-flop into a swimming pool.

Turning to face me, Edward paused as we stood in the door way. "Hey Bella?"

"Yeah?" I asked, as I looked up into his golden eyes.

"I love you." He whispered sincerely.

I smiled, and stood up on my tippy-toes to reach him, placing a soft kiss on his lips. "I love you too."

We made our way downstairs to the kitchen where Esme and Alice had whipped up a lovely full course breakfast. I tried to eat as much as my body would allow me to. But unfortunately I had to stop halfway through my meal because my stomach started turning.

I looked up and saw Edward staring at me. "What?"

"You don't look so well, I'm just worried about you." He said.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm fine, I just can't eat anymore, and I don't want to force myself to."

Esme spoke up from her seat at the table. "Well if you can't eat anymore sweetie, then don't. At least you have something on your stomach. Remember baby steps." She said smiling, her usual motherly smile.

I returned the smile. "Thanks Esme."

"No problem at all Dear, that's what I'm here for. Especially when these men are so busy smothering you with worry." She said, turning to eye Edward. "And she looks just fine, what do you know about waking up after five days of being in a chemically induced coma?"

That got my attention. "I was in chemically induced what?"

Esme reached out and grabbed my hand into hers, patting it softly. "Carlisle gave you some medicine that purposely made you sleep. He said that your injuries were to severe at the time for him to attempt to keep you awake while you healed. Sleep was the best option for you to heal quicker. But you did heal faster than he thought you would, so that is a great thing. We didn't expect that to happen at all."

"What _did_ you all expect?" I said, swallowing a lump in my throat, and turned to look at Edward.

"We expected you to heal quickly, and that is what happened." He said, and quickly averted his eyes to the table, avoiding me.

About that time Emmett came pounding through the kitchen door. "They expected that old hag Bella to drop like a fly!" He turned and looked at me feigning surprise. "Oh! Bella! Didn't know you were there!" he said, belting out a roaring laugh.

"Oh shut up Emmett!" I laughed.

He spun around on his heels and began heading back out the kitchen door, stopping to speak to Esme. "Oh, Rosalie is requesting your assistance in the boudoir. She's giving Alice a hard time about the dress she's making her, and Alice is threatening to set her on fire. Sooo, you might want to go and run some interference there. I don't know, just saying."

Esme shook her head playfully and followed Emmett out of the kitchen, leaving Edward and I alone once again.

I spoke up breaking the awkward silence. "So, the medicine that Carlisle gave me. Is that why I couldn't move my body and felt paralyzed? Even though I was totally aware of my surroundings and could hear everything that was being said?"

Edward immediately perked up as if this was his first time hearing my claim. "Yes that would be exactly why. But, what all did you hear?"

_Why is he so interested in what I heard?_ I thought to myself. And then I remembered, I replayed the conversation about Aro in my mind, not understanding it fully. I quickly decided not to bring it up right away; I had other questions I wanted answered first.

"Why weren't you there with me when I woke up? I figured you would have at least come to me after you had fed, and especially once you knew I was awake." I asked, my feelings hurt. "But instead, I had to go and find you."

Edward stood up from across the table and moved to my side, sitting beside me. "Bella, there is a lot that you don't know; there is a lot that we need to talk about. But first, to answer your questions. I wasn't with you when you woke up because I was with Carlisle; there were some things that he and I had to discuss that we will discuss with you later. But please believe me; I would have been there for you after I had finished hunting if it had not been for that. I knew you were in safe hands, I had to trust that." He said, solemnly.

"Okay, I understand that. But what about after I woke up? Why weren't you there?" I questioned again.

"Bella, this is so unlike you, you are normally not this uh…how should I put it?...Clingy?"

"What?" I exclaimed, "That is so unfair Edward! I watched what I thought was your death by the hands of Victoria and you want to accuse me of being clingy?" I immediately started balling my eyes out, sputtering at Edward through my cries, pushing my finger at his chest. "Excuse me for not knowing if you survived or not, and not being able to do anything about it! It wasn't easy at all for me! How dare you! All I wanted was to see your face, to know that you were okay!"

"Bella." Edward said softly, taking me into his arms, trying to soothe me. "Bella please, I didn't mean it like that at all, by any means. I should have thought about it before I said it; I guess I am just not doing so well by you today." He continued holding me, and I let him. Letting out all of the pent up tears and frustration, of thinking he was dead, release itself from my body.

"I just wanted to see your face." I repeated, muffled into his shirt.

Edward kissed me on the top of my head, speaking softly while I sobbed quietly. "And I wanted to see you as well love. Once I knew you were awake, I wanted to give you some time to adjust, to clean up, and to feel a bit more like you before I came into the picture. I truly do not want you to think that I had no desire of being there for you, because I did. But to be truly honest, I was in your room the whole time you were showering. I even opened the bathroom door and peeked in on you; I just wanted to see with my own eyes that you were moving about.

I managed an abrupt laugh and raised my head; wiping away the tears. "I can't believe you did that, you pervert. Why didn't you stay?"

He laughed, and raised my chin to meet his gaze. "No, it was nothing at all like that love. I just wanted to greet you in a better way, not in that room where we both have been stuck for five days. I wanted a different atmosphere, something more upbeat, happier. I knew if I played your song on the piano that you would hear it and come to me just as you did."

I smiled, realizing that my insecurities and fears had all been misplaced, and that his intentions had been honorable.

"Well, if I'm allowed to say it, then I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't trust _myself_ enough to think that you had good reasons for not being there. It's just not everyday that I think you've been killed. I'm sorry I overreacted." I said sheepishly.

Edward cupped my face in his hands. "You can apologize all you want, but there is no need to. You have done nothing wrong, and you have every right to overreact to what you thought happened to me, I would be doing the same thing if it had been you. The healing process for you is going to take a while longer; you saw and dealt with a lot from the other night. It will just take some time for you to process everything that happened that night and why."

He ran his thumbs over my cheekbones, studying my expression; his icy touch sending chills down my spine. "We will get through this, I promise." He said, and leaned in kissing me softly.

"We can get through anything right?" I said, more of statement than a question.

"That is right." Edward agreed.

"But can I ask you a question?"

"Anything at all." He said, smiling.

I tilted my head with a bit of confusion. "What exactly do you mean by time for me to 'process everything'? Would that have anything to do with the conversation I heard about Aro when I was supposedly asleep?"

"So, that is what you heard?"

"It's part of it." I said

Edward nodded in confirmation. "Yes, that would have a lot to do with it. Aro was actually involved to an extent with the fight with Victoria the other night. There was a lot more to it than any of us realized."

I raised a brow in surprise. "Wow, was it something that even Alice didn't see?"

"Yes" he replied

"Like what? What was it?"

Edward leaned back in his chair, silent for a moment as if he were contemplating something."That is something that Carlisle will be able to explain better to you."

"Is this what Carlisle was referring to earlier when we were upstairs?"

"Yes, it is."

I bit at my lip in thought, trying to figure out if this was something that I really wanted to know; then decided that I should, especially if Edward wanted Carlisle to explain it all to me.

"Well," I said. "Then let's go talk to Carlisle."

Edward hesitated for a moment. "Are you sure you want to do this now? Maybe you should rest for a while, being you just ate and already had a rough start to your first day back."

His statements made my suspicion grow. "Nope, I'm sure. Let's go talk to him now; I want to get this over with honestly."

"Alright, if you wish." He said, and took me by the hand, leading me out of the kitchen and up the stairs to Carlisle's study.

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**Chapter End Notes:** So Bella had a rough start for her first day back to reality. For a while there, her and Edward both seemed to be unable to keep it together. But it seems they were finally able to stabilize the issues and come together as a sane unit towards the end. Thankfully Bella had some of her questions answered and we now know that Edward didn't actually die or leave her high and dry. But questions still remain and those will be tackled in the next chapter.

And don't forget! Please leave a review with your thoughts! Thanks!

_**Coming up**_... Chapter 28 ::Enlightenment::


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes: **Bella is on her way to find out what Carlisle has to say. Will the new information she receives leave her confused and in shock, or will she take was she has learned all in stride?

"_Thus our first interest and our first duty is to __enlighten__ ourselves on this subject, whereon depends all our conduct. Therefore among those who do not believe, makes a vast difference between those who strive with all their power to inform themselves. Enlightenment is knowledge, and knowledge subdues enemies. "_

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**Chapter 28 :::ENLIGHTEN:::**

It's not that I'm overly anxious to find out what Carlisle has to say because I'm steaming with curiosity, but more because I'm worried. I'm headed to see Carlisle, to find out what this new information is all about and it's coming straight from _him_.

Not Edward.

I can't say that I'm confused, because I still have small bits and pieces of what happened that night looming in my mind. The problem is, is that I can't seem to piece them all together on my own. I just don't understand why Carlisle has to be the one to tell me, I mean, how hard is it for Edward to just sit me down and fill me on the details that I missed. It can't really be that hard.

Why wouldn't Edward tell me himself? Is it maybe because he's scared, or _some-thing_ is scaring him? That can't be it, Edward is scared of nothing. Maybe he just wants it to come from Carlisle instead, maybe he can tell me in a way that I can understand. _But what am I suppose to understand? _My body instantly stiffens as I put two and two together. Carlisle told Edward that he wanted to be there when we had 'our talk'. Edward is insistent that he's not the one that fills me in on everything that happened. I know myself, that there can't possibly be much that I missed, I saw Victoria die, Edward is still alive. Something just isn't right here, and now I really am confused.

"Wait here for a moment" Edward said, then left me standing outside of Carlisle's study and he quickly shuffled in through the door, closing it gently behind him.

"Um…Okay?" I said out loud to myself, knowing Edward could hear me. "Why does the feeble human girl have to be the one left standing out in the hallway? I thought we were going to talk."

No answer

"Strange" I whispered to myself, rolling my eyes in disbelief.

A few more minutes had passed when Edward swiftly emerged from the study, and ushered me in.

"What was _that_ all about?" I scowled, cutting my eyes at him.

Edward remained silent, as if he never heard me and quietly shut the door behind us.

I looked at him with a raised brow. If he'd shut that door any softer I'd almost think he was going to make out with it. _Weird_ I thought to myself. He was acting so strange, as if we were two crazy teenagers sneaking into our parents' liquor cabinet and they were in the next room. Suddenly the thought of Jacob and I sneaking up the stairs to my bedroom while Charlie slept flashed through my head. I quickly forced it out, blinking my eyes.

The study was square in shape, with a ceiling unlike the rest of the house, from what I'd seen so far that is. It was vaulted to a point, with wooden-mahogany collar ties at each end, as if it had been taken straight out of a grand Cathedral and erected here. The muted tan walls were lined with books, the shelves so high that one would think a ladder would be needed to fetch one of them. But, I knew the Cullens had no need for such a thing. These were no ordinary books either; these were books bound in cracked leather and soft velvet, clasped with sturdy-looking locks and hinges made of brass and silver. Some of their spines were chipped and splintered, divulging their age. They looked worn in a way that made it clear that these books were not just old but were well-used, and had been loved.

The floor was polished wood, the same color as the beams directly above them. It was inlaid with shards of silver and marble and bits of what seemed to be crystal. The inlay formed a pattern that I couldn't quite decipher; it might have been an astrological symbol, or even a map of Italy; I suspected I'd have to climb up into the rafters and look down in order to see it properly. I made a mental note to ask about it later.

In the center of the room sat a commanding mahogany desk. It was carved from a single slab of wood, a great, heavy piece of oak that gleamed with the dull shine of years. The slab rested upon the back of a stone-carved Greek God and Goddess, their faces engraved with the look of suffering. They seemed familiar, but their names escaped me for the moment. Another mental note.

Behind the desk sat Carlisle, with golden streaked hair, almost white to some modern standards, and a very intricately outlined face; perfectly chiseled from years of life and wisdom. I realized that I had never really_ looked_ at him, took in his features.

"Impressed I see," he said, smiling at me.

I nodded in affirmation. "I thought we were going to the study."

"This is my library; I have some things in here that are very important to me. Things I never take out of this room. Please Bella, take a seat, and get comfy. We're going to be here for a while."

Carlisle gestured with his hand towards two camel-colored chairs in front of his desk and I slowly took my seat, Edward sitting in the chair next to me.

I began fidgeting, trying desperately to keep myself calm. I was nervous about what Carlisle had to say for some reason. The tension in the air was so tight you could slice it like a hot knife through butter. I glanced over at Edward then back to Carlisle. No tension there, they both looked cool, calm and collected, and they were both staring straight at me. I quickly sat on my hands to keep them from moving. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, straightened my shoulders and forced a smile to project an air of calmness. I hoped it worked.

It didn't.

"Are you okay?" Edward inquired, coating his voice with the smoothness he was famous for.

I shrugged. "I'm fine." I lied.

"So, what is it that you have to tell me?" I asked Carlisle, obviously discounting Edward's concern.

Carlisle clasped his hands together, interlocking his fingers and placed them on his desk. "Well, to begin with, I wanted to speak to you about the other night. The night we encountered Victoria."

"Encountered?" I asked with a raised brow. There was no reason to sugar-coat anything with me. I wanted it to be called for what it was.

"Very well then." He hesitated and eyed me with a quizzed expression, as if he were trying to pick the words from my mind. "The night we fought Victoria?"

I nodded, pleased with his correction.

Carlisle continued. "As you know, Edward was supposedly 'damaged' or 'killed' by Victoria that night. " He said, holding up the infamous quote marks with his fingers on the two latter words. "But, it…"

I interrupted. "What do you mean by damaged or killed? I mean, I know Edward is absolutely fine now but," I paused, glancing over at Edward running my eyes over him, making sure that my eyes weren't playing tricks with my mind. He looked fine, walked, talked and acted like his usual self. He didn't display an ounce of injury. I know 'they' heal very very quickly; If you even want to call it healing.

My mind was rambling as usual, and Edward's confused look brought me back. I turned to Carlisle and re-focused. "But, I saw with my own eyes how badly he looked." I shook my head at the memory and struggled with my words. "I saw…I…I…I saw him crushed up against the mountain side! He..I…He looked like he was dead!" Tears began to well up in my eyes, as the heartache from that moment came crushing in on me. I quickly clasped my hands to stop the trembling. "How can you say _supposedly_? When I know what I saw!" I cried.

Edward reached over and placed a cool hand on my arm. "Bella, please. He's trying to explain it to you."

"No Edward! I know what I saw! And you're both acting like it never happened!"

"No, we're not Bella." Carlisle interjected. "I know what you saw was very true and traumatic, and neither Edward nor I are trying to convince you otherwise. We both know, as you do, that in fact it _did_ happen. So, if you would just let me continue, I can finish trying to explain to you what I'm talking about."

I nodded, silently giving him permission to continue.

"I believe we all know that Edward is fine, there is absolutely nothing wrong with him, correct?"

I nodded again.

"Okay, now that we have that portion of it covered, I believe it's safe for me to tell you that the whole situation with Edward being thrown up against that mountain side and, for lack of better words, 'played dead', is because it was all planned."

I gasped in astonishment. "Planned?"

Carlisle waved a hand across his desk. "Please, let me continue."

"Sorry, go ahead."

"It was planned, and yes Edward knew he was going to do it."

Edward cut Carlisle off. "Bella, I was trying to tell you about this before the fight began."

"So you knew about this and didn't tell me?"

He shook his head. "No, I _was_ trying to tell you, but you kept cutting me off thinking I was trying to tell you goodbye. I wanted you to know about it before it happened, because I knew you would think just as you did. But there just wasn't time. Victoria showed up and I had no choice but to focus on that situation. I had hoped that if the plan _had_ to be carried out, that I would be able to explain later and that you would understand."

"But this isn't making any sense Edward, why would you plan something like that? I thought you knew you would be able to take her. Why play dead and let her get away?"

"But she didn't get away."

"I already know this, but you could have taken her. Why let the others kill her instead?"

Carlisle spoke up. "Because it was Edward's only choice; Alice saw at the last minute that Victoria had made the decision to bring someone with her."

"And when was it that Alice discovered this?"

"While you and Edward were talking."

"And Edward, you didn't pick this up?"

Edward shook his head. "I wasn't close enough to read his mind."

"His?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes" Carlisle announced, turning my attention immediately back to him.

"And who exactly is this _he_?"

"His name is Sicario."

I squirmed in my seat, my mind running rampant. I supposed they were going to just let me be for a moment while I processed this new information. I had so many thoughts going through my mind that I couldn't even begin to process them. But the name Sicario kept coming back to me. It sounded awfully familiar and I just couldn't place it.

And then I finally figured out why that name was so familiar, it had been the main character's name in a television series my Mom used to watch all the time.

"Um, Sicario. That means assassin in Italian, doesn't it?" I quizzed, not really posing the question at either one.

"Yes." Carlisle answered. "That or hired killer."

"Same difference." I quipped, and then moved on to a more important, pressing question."So, why was this Sicario there and who was he?"

Edward instantly sat back in his chair and Carlisle shifted his weight. Why they continue to do this I really don't know. It may be a habit, but it just isn't necessary, especially when it gives their feelings away. At least I can hide my feelings well, and I'm not even a vampire. Okay, maybe not, but at least I try to convince myself otherwise.

"So?" I asked, waiting impatiently.

"Do you remember what we've told you about the Volturi and Aro?"

"Yeah" I nodded. "Aro is to the Vampire world like the President is to the United States."

"Yes well sort of, but Sicario is one of Aro's elite." Carlisle offered. "He is the General of the Volturi Army."

I shook my head in disbelief, my jaw slightly open. "Aro has an army?"

Both Carlisle and Edward nodded in affirmation at the same time.

"Is Sicario a vampire too?" I wondered idiotically.

They stopped moving their heads and looked at me with a crazy expression.

"Never mind," I said, trying to quickly recover. "That was a stupid question; of course he's a vampire. I just can't see Aro employing a human as the head of his Army, which would be useless. Aro would probably have him for dinner before he could even put his boots on."

I looked back at the two of them. "Oh, sorry. I'm rambling, please continue." Embarrassed, I leaned as far back in my chair as I could possibly go. If I could pull up the seat cushion and hide underneath it, I probably would.

Neither spoke up so I quickly changed the subject. "Why would Aro send his General to the fight with Victoria? That doesn't make any sense either, and why didn't Alice see Aro's decision to do this?"

Carlisle stood up from his desk and pushed in his chair. "Because Aro didn't make the decision, Sicario did. And I know what you're thinking; that Sicario came to assist Victoria in the fight, but he didn't. He came to make sure Victoria died."

"And how do you know all this?"

"Because Alice saw the decision and Edward read his mind once he was in close enough proximity. Fortunately, Aro didn't quite fill Sicario in on how extensive Edward and Alice's abilities are."

I continued to sit in astonishment at the revelation, taking every single bit of the information in.

"So, then he left as soon as he saw that Victoria was dead?"

"Well, as soon as he saw that Alice was missing and that Edward and Victoria were both dead. Thankfully though, he didn't stick around long enough to see that Edward was just fine or to find Alice. That is why I had her hiding with you, and why we had her carry you through the woods until Edward was finally able to carry you the rest of the way home.

"But why Edward and Alice? I only thought he wanted Victoria dead."

"Aro has wanted the both of them to join the Volturi for a very long time. He has made many offers to them and they continue to refuse."

"As we always will." Edward stated.

Carlisle nodded at Edward and continued. "Yes, but he is tired of waiting and offering. He wants them because of their abilities; they would be a great asset to his army."

"So then, why doesn't he just take no for an answer and move on?"

Carlisle let out a soft chuckle. "It's not that simple Dear."

"And why not?" I asked, pressing the issue.

"Because Aro obviously doesn't understand what no means, and he doesn't like being refused what he so desperately wants. He will go to great lengths to get what he desires."

"If he wants them both so badly, then why did he send Sicario to make sure that Victoria was dead? Was he afraid that Victoria would kill Edward?"

"No, Aro's issue with Victoria goes a little deeper than that Bella. Sicario was supposed to make sure Victoria was dead and bring both Edward and Alice back with him to the Volturi, but only if they were alive. So once he saw that Edward was supposedly dead, and that Alice was missing, he knew that he didn't stand a chance of fighting the rest of us off alone."

"Wait, so there's a chance he might come back for them?"

Carlisle shrugged. "There is no telling, but we'll be ready for him if he does. Alice is keeping an eye on their decisions."

I was finally catching up, but was still left a bit confused. "So that is why Aro wanted Sicario to make sure Victoria died, because she was a threat to him and the possibility that she might win the fight against Edward right?"

Carlisle turned away from me and made his way over to the giant arched windows, he stood there for a moment before turning back around. "No Bella, not at all. Aro wanted Victoria dead because her presence was caustic in our world, she became a liability. And anything or anyone that becomes a liability to Aro simply becomes dead."

"He sent Sicario to do his dirty work; to kill two birds with one stone. To make sure Victoria was dead and that Edward and Alice were captured. I get it now. But why didn't Aro send one of his usual puppets that all of you talk about? What's her name? Jane?"

Edward shook his head, accepting to answer my question instead. "Because Jane didn't have the skills or abilities to ensure Victoria's death and our capture, and because Sicario had more of a reason than anyone to want her dead. Aro knew that he could depend on him to get the job done, even if we couldn't."

I turned and faced Edward, my brows furrowed. "Why would Sicario have reason more than anyone to want Victoria dead?"

He leaned his head to the side and spoke slowly. "Because Victoria was Sicario's sister."

"What?" I squeaked incredulously.

"It's true." He affirmed.

"His vampire sister? They had a vampire family at one time? Like us? I mean you?"

"Well, I guess you could say as a vampire sister, but they were actually blood brother and sister when they were humans too. They were separated when Aro took Sicario for his abilities and left Victoria to fend on her own."

"And you know all of this how?" I asked.

Edward tapped his finger to his temple.

"You read his mind?"

"Yes."

"And you got all of that out of his head in such a short time?"

"Let's just say that he had a lot on his mind at the time."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Wow, I can't believe that. I never knew she had a brother. That's crazy."

Carlisle crossed the floor to the library door, opening it. "As crazy as it sounds, it's definitely true. But I'm going to give you some time to let all of this sink in. I know it's a lot to process."

"Thanks Carlisle, Thank you for taking the time to let me know what was going on." I said appreciatively.

"You're welcome Dear." He said, and strolled out the door closing it behind him.

I turned back to Edward who was sitting there watching me intently. Finding out that Victoria had a real human brother was easily comprehensible and not very shocking, but finding out that Sicario might come back for Edward and Alice was definitely disturbing. I already had enough on my plate to deal with, and now this was being added to the list.

"What are you thinking love." Edward asked softly.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know really. I guess this is just something else for me to worry about."

"What is worrying you about it?"

I raised a brow. "Maybe the fact that Sicario might come back for you. I don't like that at all. And not only do I have to worry about that, but I also have my Dad that I still need to deal with, and I also have Jacob on that list as well."

Edward shook his head. "I have always told you that you worry too much. I will handle the situation with Sicario should it arise, we have a whole family of fighters to tend with him. And for your Dad, we will deal with that together, whatever you need to make things better with him, it's yours. But, as for Jacob, I am the one that will continue deal with that.

"I know, but it's easier said than done. Though, I would give anything to just forget about all of this craziness, to forget my worries and for maybe one day pretend as if nothing is wrong, that all is well in _my_ world, you know?"

"I do know love, I know exactly what you mean." He said as he reached out gently taking me by the hand and leading me into his lap. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and nuzzled my face in his neck; closing my eyes.

"I love you Bella." Edward whispered and kissed me on my temple. "Maybe we can go do something later to take your mind off of things."

"Like what?"

"Whatever your heart desires." He offered.

I laughed at the first thought that crossed my mind, and quickly shoved it away.

"What? What are you thinking?"

I smiled into his neck. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Huh? Oh..Oh!" he laughed. "Well…I"

I quickly cut him off sensing his hesitation. "No, it's okay…we have all the time in the world for that."

"Yes, we have forever to do that."

"Let's not do that conversation again please." I begged.

"Sorry love."

"No need for apologies Edward, and by the way, you weren't supposed to apologize for the rest of the day, remember?"

"Right, then I take it back." He said with a chuckle. "So, what do you want to do this afternoon?"

I sat up in his lap, facing him. "I want to go see my Dad; I know he's probably worried sick about me, and I really need to talk to him to make sure he's okay."

"What do you think he will have to say about your black eye?"

I reached up and touched my sore eye. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Maybe I'll go talk to him after it's gone."

"Yeah, I think that would be a wise idea." Edward agreed. "But, enough of this, let's go do something and get your mind off of all this craziness."

"Sounds good to me." I smiled.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:** Bella finally got the missing pieces to the puzzle of what happened that night with Victoria.

Thank you for reading and don't forget! Please leave a review with your thoughts! Thank You!

_**Coming up**_... Chapter 29 ::Diversion:: Edward and Bella finally get some 'normal' time together.


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes: **Bella and Edward finally get some highly deserved time to themselves. Bella believes it's going to be the usual time off from things, at the usual places. But Edward has bigger plans in store for them.

_"__"If our situation were truly happy, we would not seek __diversion__ from it in order to make ourselves happy. If the morale of our current surroundings were not as sorrowful, we would not have to escape to seek the grace of silence and solitude. If her eyes did not confess that her soul was weary and longing for an escape from the constant turmoil, there would have to be no diversion. If only I could be."_

_~Excerpt from Edward's Journal~_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 29 :::DIVERSION:::**

"Are you packed yet?"

I jumped, startled by the sudden invasion. "Ugh! You scared me! Stop doing that!" I said, as I tried to calm my heartbeat down a bit. "You really need to stop doing those sneak attacks, at least until I'm over what's just happened recently."

"Sorry, I can't help it." Edward shrugged, as a look of both innocence and guilt washed over his face. "I just came up to see if you were finished packing yet."

"Um, yeah. I think I have everything, though I have no clue what I need. Alice did give me some ideas though, so I figured it would be best to do what she suggests since she already knows what we're doing."

"Yeah, she tends to be good at things like that." Edward smirked.

I shook my head. "Ha Ha aren't we just a comedian today."

I closed the final snap on my borrowed suitcase, Alice of course. It's not like I would personally buy a hot pink Gucci suitcase on my own. Give me a well worn duffle bag any day.

"When you said we were going to have some time for ourselves and get away from everything for a while, I was thinking more along the lines of the meadow or a trip to the city. Because for some reason I don't think either would involve us packing."

Edward pulled me close to him, entwining his fingers through my hair. "You have assumed correctly, my love." He leaned in and teased me with his lips, lightly brushing them against mine.

My heart began its usual pitter patter, sending my blood rushing through my veins.

"I love doing that to you."

"Doing what?" I asked faintly, breathing in his scent.

"Making your heart skip like that."

"Oh.." Was all I could manage, and pushed myself further into him. I wrapped my arms around him and ran my hands underneath his shirt trailing my fingers all the way up his back.

"So, tell me something." I asked, in the best seductive tone I could manage.

"Anything." He whispered.

I began kissing him lightly on his collar bone, standing on my tip toes as I worked my way up his neck.

"What are we doing?" I continued, bypassing his lips and making my way to his ear, purposely panting softly near it.

Edward groaned. "What are we doing _now_?" he forced out with a hard breath.

"No, what are we doing tonight? Where are we going?"

He gently pulled away from me, resting his forehead on mine; his eyes still closed.

"Nice try Bella." He laughed lightly. "Seducing me will not give you any answers, no matter how hard you try."

"Well, what will?" I asked innocently.

"Nothing." Was all he said, as he moved his hands up to frame my face.

"Can I have a hint? Just a small teeny tiny hint?" I begged.

He sighed softly and opened his eyes. "Well, since you _are_ begging so sweetly, I believe I can oblige."

In an instant I was tossed onto the bed. Edward landed above me with precision, both arms locked at the elbows on each side of me, bracing his weight.

"Wha—? " His lips cut me off, silencing my question instantly. Not that I even remembered what I was stupid enough to ask at this point.

He devoured me with his lips, pushing his cool tongue deep into my mouth. Our eyes were locked together in a trance, dancing their own sweet dance of erotic seduction. I moved my hands up his neck and cradled his face, pushing my mouth harder against him. Even if this was a hint, I surely didn't want it to stop. But, I knew it had to especially if we were going to leave anytime soon and not provide some sort of cheap entertainment up here for his family.

It was almost as if Edward had been reading my mind because he reluctantly broke free of our passionate embrace and hovered above me. He was panting as hard and often as my heart was beating, though I knew it was merely out of desire and not necessity, and that went for the both of us.

I smiled up at him as my heart reeled. "Was that a hint or a promise?"

"Both love…both." He smiled back, his eyes enforcing his words. "But, we must hurry if we are going to catch our flight on time."

"Flight?" I asked incredulously. "We going to fly? Like in an airplane?"

Edward laughed, shaking his head. "How else would we be flying? I may be a Vampire but I'm surely no Bat. I can't just sprout some wings and take us wherever we want to go."

"But you'd have to be a really big Bat in order to carry me and my hot pink luggage. Because if you were one of those stinky, little blind bats you could end up hurting your tiny Bat back."

"And look who's being the comedian now." He jokingly retorted, then jumped up and pulled me with him. "Come on love, it's time to go."

I couldn't help myself. "Where to? The Bat Cave?"

He nodded in affirmation. "Yes, I am taking you to my cave. Happy?"

"Yes, very much so." I smiled with affection and reached up planting a playful kiss on his lips. "Let's go."

Edward laughed and grabbed my suitcase, motioning for me to go out the door first. I happily did as I was silently instructed.

We mostly rode in silence on the way to the airport; our fingers interlocked resting on my thigh. It wasn't an awkward silence at all; it was mostly a welcomed, words-are-not-needed type of silence. We gave each other the occasional glance, and a few times I caught him watching me out of the corner of my eye. I wanted to tell him several times that I loved him, but I didn't have to, his touch told me that he already knew my thoughts.

A sharp turn of the car down a desolate road broke me from my train of thought. "Where are we going? I thought we were going to the airport?" I questioned.

"We are, but not the type of airport you are thinking of." Edward turned to look at me with a raised brow. When I didn't respond he spoke again. "What? Did you actually think we were going to a real airport in the city?"

I shook my head and shrugged. "I uh, yeah I guess so."

"Well, I don't believe that would be possible love. I don't think people would take too kindly to a sparkling stranger, darting around trying to find the dark areas of the building." He stifled a laugh as he pulled the car into a giant warehouse and put it into park. He turned to me, obviously expecting a response.

"You're right." I offered. "I guess I just wasn't thinking about all of that. My mind has been more on where we're going."

He nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean, me too."

"So, what are we doing here?" I quizzed.

Edward gave up nothing; he just served me with a mysterious grin as he helped me out of the car and gathered our belongings.

The warehouse we were in was dark and cold, every square inch of it was bare. The only sound was my breath as I hurried hand in hand beside Edward, and the clicking of his boots on the cement floor, echoing off the metal walls.

"I'm glad you know where you're going, because I can hardly see a thing in here."

"Don't worry, we are almost there." He said reassuringly, and with that he opened a side door, the creaking of it sent shivers down my spine."

Edward noticed my reaction and laughed. "What was that for?"

I did an all body shiver this time. "I absolutely _hate_ that kind of noise, don't know why but it just gets to me every time."

We came to a full stop in front of an airplane. It was no commercial plane, and from what I could see through the windows, it didn't have very many seats. "What kind of plane is this?"

Edward gave our bags to the pilot who quickly disappeared with them to the other side of the plane. "It's a Charter Plane, also known as a Turbo Prop. It's a Piper Meridian if you want to be technical."

"Oh, okay." Was all I could manage, I had absolutely no clue what he was talking about.

He must have noticed my confusion as he led me up the steps into the plane because he just kept a wide eyed grin on his face. I took a seat in the exterior of the plane where an off-white line of leather seats adorned the outer wall. I sunk straight into the seat and let out a soft relaxing sigh. I closed my eyes enjoying the comfort letting my senses take over; the entire plane held the aroma of new leather and vanilla. It was an interesting mixture, yet so welcomed.

"Are you going to sleep on me?" Edward asked, as the door to the plane also shut and shook me out of my reverie.

I opened my eyes and saw him standing before me, staring down at me with those cool amber eyes of his.

I shook my head slowly. "No, I was just enjoying the comfort. This seat feels so good and it smells so wonderful in here it should be a crime." I ran my hand across the cool leather and sighed contentedly. "It feels so nice and cool, and it's oh so soft. It's just like I'm sinking right down into it, so much better than my bed. I think I could stay here forever." I explained.

"I see." He said, nodding with apprehension. "It does seem though, that you love that more than you do me."

I sat straight up, blinking rapidly. "What on earth are you talking about Edward? I love nothing more than I do you, you know that! How could you say such a thing?"

"Well let's see." He offered as he sat down next to me, ticking each reason off on his fingers. "For one, it's soft, which I am not. Two, it obviously smells better than me. Three, I've never ever made you sigh like that. And four, you would willingly spend forever with it."

"Edward!" I exclaimed, astonished at his theory. "You're being delusional. And quit being so insecure, it's just a freaking seat!"

The plane's engine roared to life rebuking any response he had to give. He immediately reached over me, draping my seatbelt across my lap and clicked it into place. He gave no thought to moving back into his seat, he just hovered over me for a moment as if he were gathering his thoughts.

"Bella love, I am neither delusional nor insecure." He said, turning to face me; so close that I could feel his icy breath sweep across my face. "It's that I wish I could be so much more for you. My stone heart breaks when I cannot keep you warm on those cold nights, that I cannot be the softness against your skin that it so desires. I honestly don't know how many times I have wished that I could feed your wants and needs instead of reminding you each time that we touch that I will never have anything more to offer you." His eyes dropped to his hands, and I believe that if he could cry, he truly would be doing so at this exact moment.

"Edward." I said softly, lifting his face with my hands and forcing him to really look at me. "I'll never want anything more from you than you already give me. You more than fulfill my wants and desires, and nothing and no one else in this world could ever give me that. Sometimes, I think you're too hard on yourself, you try too hard. All you have to understand is that all I ever have wanted more of from you is for you to be whom you truly are, to continue loving me in the way that you do. Who cares if there are differences between us, so what if I'm warm and you're cold or if I'm soft and you're not. I never see or notice those things, all I ever notice is you Edward, and that you're with me. That's all I truly desire and you already give it to me."

A tender smile of understanding spread across his face. "I'm sorry; I don't even know why I even entertained the thought, or why I even questioned any of it."

"It's okay." I soothed, returning the tender smile. "Believe me, we all have our moments."

"That is quite true, but enough of this pity party for one." He grinned as he leaned back in his seat and took my hand into his. "Let's enjoy the flight and look forward to what is in store for us later."

"But I have no clue what we'll be doing, only you have that information and for some reason you won't give it up." I chided.

"Well, if I told you then it wouldn't be a surprise. Now would it?"

"You know I hate surprises, yet you continue to spring them on me."

"Yeah, I know you do. And that's what makes it so enjoyable."

I laughed and shook my head; the plane was shaking slightly due to the light turbulence and I gave the armrests of my seat a death grip. I never liked the idea of flying and never had the intentions to do so, but it seems Edward had me doing a lot of things lately that I had never intended or even thought of doing. I was just glad that he was there beside me so I wasn't enduring it alone, not that he was scared, it was just that his presence alone gave me the sense of security that I so desperately needed.

"Why the death grip? What did the seat do to you to deserve that kind of punishment? Does it not appeal to your senses anymore?" He joked, nudging me in my side with his elbow.

I raised a brow. "No, the seat still appeals to me. I'm just scared of flying that's all."

Edward chuckled. "You mean to tell me that you have absolutely no problem running with Vampires or frolicking about in the Wolves Den, yet you are scared of flying?"

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Frolicking? Seriously? Who uses that word anymore?"

"You knew what I meant."

"True, I do. But for some reason dating a Vampire and visiting the Werewolves just doesn't seem as threatening to me as flying does. At least I am on solid ground and can attempt to run, as with an airplane, I have nowhere to go."

"_Dating _a Vampire? Is that what we're doing, is just dating?" He quickly asked.

"Really Edward? After all that I just said, that's all you took from that?" I shrugged my shoulders in surrender. "Same as with you, you knew what I meant."

Edward leaned forward and took out of the cabinet what looked like a vintage wine bottle. He masterfully popped the top and poured it into a crystal glass. "Here," he said, offering it to me. "Drink some, it will help take the edge off."

"Oh nice, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, aren't you old enough to know better?"

"I'm old enough to be your great-grandfather if you want to push the issue."

I had another full body shiver at the thought and grabbed the glass quickly from him, downing the wine.

"Why the shiver?"

"Don't push it."

"Deal."

After a few more glasses of wine, they began to go down rather smoothly. The roar of the plane's engine had somehow faded into the background and I couldn't determine if it was the plane that was moving about or if it was just me. I quickly decided it would be safer for me not to explore that question any further.

It had felt by this point like we had been flying for hours. I knew that somewhere along our conversations, Edward had said that it was a short flight. But, it didn't really seem to be going that way.

"How much longer before we land?" I asked, not moving an inch from my comfy curled up position.

Edward turned in his seat to face me, seeming surprised that I was still awake. "It's actually not much longer, thirty more minutes or so maybe."

"It seems like we've been flying for hours on end."

"Nope, we have only been in the air for an hour love." He said smirking.

I changed my position and sat up, moving over to rest my head on his shoulder. "So, are you going to finally tell me where we're going?"

He shook his head. "No sorry, can't do that."

"Well maybe if you give me one of those hints again, it just might keep me satisfied until we actually do get there you know? I mean, I'm just saying, at least it would be going to the greater good of your surprise."

"Nice try Bella." He laughed. "We will have to save that for later, rather sooner than later. But, I can give you a small hint."

I sat straight up; he had my full and undivided attention. "What would that be?"

"No one else will be there. It will be all ours; we will have it to ourselves and will be able to do what we wish."

I immediately tried to think of all of the places that I had ever heard him mention, wondering if he could be possibly taking me to one of them. After a long mental debate, I knew that there was no way I was going to figure it out.

Edward lifted me by my chin to look at him. "Stop trying to figure it out, you never will."

"How did you know what I was thinking?" I asked, shocked.

"Just because I can't read your mind, doesn't mean I don't know what you are thinking. I just know you Bella. I know you all too well love."

I smiled at his response. "And I know you."

He nodded. "That you do, that I must agree with."

"What else do you agree with?" I asked out of curiosity, more of for what his answer would be.

He shot me a half smile, as if he were in deep thought. "Let us see…I agree with the fact that you love me."

"And I do of course." I replied tenderly.

"And I also agree with the fact that we really need this diversion. I believe that both you and I deserve some much needed time together, to get away from all the turmoil we have been through together."

I nodded solemnly. "That I agree with also, the past few days have been unbelievable."

"It's just not about the past few days Bella. It's also about me leaving you, which alone will take me forever to mend. I don't think I could ever forgive myself for hurting you so badly."

I fidgeted for a moment letting his words sink in. It hit me at that moment that he had never really said how he had felt about leaving me or how it had truly made him feel. Though he had said many times how badly he had felt for doing it, but I don't think I every really asked him and really listened.

"Edward?" I asked in a whisper.

"Yes?"

"Why are you really taking me away on this trip? Why not the meadow or a usual place? I mean…Does this really have anything at all to do with you leaving me?"

Edward gave me the most endearing smile. "Come here love." He gently pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around me, laying my head on his shoulder.

He let out a contented sigh and leaned his cheek onto mine, speaking softly. "Bella, nothing would be more insufferable to me than to be completely without you and all that is made of you. Seeing you without rest, without passion, without stability, without diversion, makes my heart ache, makes me feel defeated as if I have failed you in every possible way. Without you I feel empty, am forlorn, and insufficient. You are the strength that surges through my icy veins; I am doing this for you, for us. But also because I should have done this instead a long time ago."

We remained wrapped in each others arms as the plane began its quiet descent.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:** So Bella still has no clue where Edward is taking her, though she will finally find out in the next chapter. It was good to see the two work on some underlying issues, which had been a long time coming. At least on this trip there won't be anyone or anything to disturb them!

Thank you for reading and don't forget! Please leave a review with your thoughts! Thank You!

_**Coming up**_... Chapter 30 ::Tranquility::


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_It is vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility; they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it.  
~Charlotte Bronte~_

**Chapter 30 :TRANQUILITY:::**

As soon as the plane had landed, Edward whisked me away in a rental car and began the journey to our final destination. Trying to determine where we were from observing our surroundings, I came to the conclusion that we were definitely in the mountains. The sky looked like a milky white and gray blanket that covered the snow tops as if to purposely keep the sun from sliding through to warm the cold chill out of the air. All I could think at this particular moment was that I was genuinely thankful that I let Alice pack my suitcase for me.

Another cold chill sent shivers through my body so I leaned forward and turned the heat up as far as the dial would let me.

"Are you still cold love?" Edward asked, concerned.

"Just a little bit, I can't seem to get warm."

Edward crooked his mouth in one corner, "Maybe I should have taken you to a warmer climate."

"No," I shook my head. "This is just fine, even though I still don't have a clue where we're actually going."

I knew that Edward was more concerned for bringing me to a cold climate, but I knew that it was better because we really couldn't go to Florida and bask in the sunshine. Any attention, even positive from strangers, was the last thing that I wanted right now. Just give me my Edward, even in the cold and I'm going to be perfectly happy.

Edward tapped his right index finger on the steering wheel as if in deep thought. "I guess I really didn't think this all through. All I wanted was to for us to get away, and bringing you to a cold climate and well...being that I'm cold myself, I don't think it will help matters at all."

"Really Edward, "I said reassuringly, and playfully squeezed his arm as if to back up my next statement. "I personally love the way you feel and I'd lay in the freezing snow right next to you without any complaint if I had to. Don't worry about me, okay? Besides, you always make me feel good."

"Alright, but you are my first priority." he said, moving to take my hand in his. So, if I see you shivering I'm finding the nearest fire pit and throwing you in it!" he added playfully.

I laughed, "Wow! Thanks! I feel so loved!"

"You are most welcome!" He joked back, and turned off of the main highway.

"We're almost there." Edward chimed, grinning from ear to ear. "I can't wait for you to see this place, you will absolutely love it Bella."

I nodded in agreement, "Well, as long as you're there, I know I'll love it."

Edward turned and glanced at me, flashing me with one of his perfect smiles. It wasn't just a happy smile, it was of his _I love you with everything that I am_ smiles. The ones that reach all the way to his eyes and make you want to just fall in love with him over and over again.

We turned down a long and winding snow-soaked gravel road. Before long, we were pulling into a secluded driveway that welcomed us to a luxurious rustic log cabin. To the right of the driveway a sign declared we had arrived at the _Whispering Chalet_. I kind of liked the name, fitting for a private getaway that was sorely needed. I would more than welcome the whispering part of it, enjoying the solitude and silence, just Edward and I. Couldn't argue with that.

Edward came around and opened my car door, offering a gentle hand to help me out. We stood there for a quiet moment taking in the view and admiring the skillfully crafted cabin that stood before us, demanding our attention.

The cabin had rustic, large-scale elements. It sat atop a smoky quartz, mortared stone foundation, obviously cultivated from the local Colorado Mountains. The front entrance was grand yet simple. The roof of the front porch spanned as high as the eye could see and was A-shaped. The overall design had clean, straightforward lines and used natural materials, like log and timber. It seemed the main focus was to blend the design with the home's natural landscape.

"There's nothing at all to dislike about Colorado." I thought out loud.

Feeling a soft nudge to my arm, I turned and followed Edward into the cabin.

The inside of the cabin was even more luxurious than the outside. I didn't think it was even worth trying to compare the two. It had expansive casement windows for unobstructed views, stone chimneys, cantilevered decks on upper levels, stone accents and just an overall eclectic mixture of outdoor materials.

Oh, and a fireplace that was already lit.

"Someone knew we were coming?" I asked, inquisitively.

"Yes." Edward said. "There is a housekeeper, maintenance man and landscaper that are employed around the clock."

"It doesn't look like the landscaper will be busy for a while." I stated, motioning out to the snow covered lawn through the windows.

"True, but the housekeeper comes in to clean and keep the home fires burning." He said with a smile.

I nodded and decided to make myself familiar with the home as Edward left to head upstairs to place our luggage in its proper location.

When he came back, I was standing before the fireplace letting the flames carry me away, lost in thought as they danced up and down, and popping out as the wood gave way to the extreme heat.

Muscled arms closed in around me and enveloped me in a gentle hug. "Are you hungry? If you would like something to eat I can make you a meal. Just name what you would like."

At the mention of food, my stomach began turning, letting me know I was in fact, starving. "That actually sounds good. I didn't even realize I was hungry until you mentioned it. I guess I didn't have much of an appetite on the way here. I think I was just nervous about where we were headed." I admitted.

I heard Edward click his tongue and laugh softly. "Why on earth would you be nervous about where we were going?" He turned me around to face him. "You know I would never take you anywhere or put you in any position or situation that could bring harm to you."

"I know, I know. " I said reassuringly. "It's not that, I guess it's just everything I've been through lately. I feel as if I should always be on guard, like something is always going to happen. It's not like I've had the best luck lately. I'm kind of gun shy so to speak, always feeling as if _something_ or _someone_ is going to jump out at me around each corner."

Edward nodded in understanding. "Love, please have no worries while you are here. I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you. I won't leave your side... I promise you that. Besides, no one but my family knows that we are here, and Alice has promised to contact me should she see anything, okay?"

"Okay, I promise I'll work on it. It's just hard to act like everything has been perfect all along when it hasn't. You'll just have to give me some time to re-adjust to a _normal_ life."

Edward laughed, shaking his head. "You'll never have a normal life as long as you are with me."

I pursed my lips and shrugged my shoulders in defeat. "That statement is true, but at least we can _try_ to have as much of a normal life now as a normal, everyday human couple does."

"Agreed, now what do you want for dinner?" He asked, as he walked off into the kitchen, towing me along.

About an hour later Edward placed my dinner plate before me with a confident smile. Steak cooked well done, baked potato with all the toppings and a side of steamed broccoli.

"You've outdone yourself! Thanks!" I said appreciatively and dug in without another word, my stomach thanking me over and over. Edward pulled out a chair, turned it around and straddled it. He sat quietly smiling while I finished off my meal and then cleared away the dishes.

A while later we found ourselves snuggled tightly in each other's arms, stretched out on the floor in front of the crackling fire place.

"You know, I could stay like this forever, all wrapped up in your arms, all alone from the rest of the world." I said, closing my eyes and enjoying the moment.

Edward placed light kisses on the nape of my neck. "Me too, forever has a nice sound to it, does it not?"

"Yes it does." I agreed.

At this point, my mind began to reel. The issue of forever wasn't a term that either of us used lightly, but we did use it just like any other normal couple would do. The only difference was that our forever was going to be my lifetime, and that was going to cause a problem all on its own. While Edward stayed a young man, I was going to grow old, get wrinkles and possibly go senile. Not, that I know that would happen to me as a matter of fact, but who's to say it wouldn't? What if it did? My lifetime wouldn't seem like an issue to a normal couple, but it is to Edward and I. Being he's a vampire, our love and devotion, our physical relationship would last until I offered my last breath to this world. Then what would he do? Find another love? Continue on with his forever all alone and never feeling whole again? I would hope that he would find another love, but knowing him, he would rather lie down and die with me than to suffer the remainder of his existence without me. He's so hard headed and stubborn like that.

In an attempt to organize all of the rampant thoughts clustering in my mind, I turned my back further into Edward's chest, but kept my head softly wresting on his arm beneath it.

"Um, Edward?"

"Yes love?"

"I have a question for you, if you're willing to discuss it with me." I asked, hesitantly.

I could feel him shake his head gently behind me. "I know what you are going to ask me and the answer is no."

"But how can you say that when you haven't even heard me out? You don't even know for sure what I'm going to ask."

He sighed, as if to stress his next statement. "You want to discuss you becoming a vampire. I see the wheels turning in your mind every time the word forever comes up. Am I right or am I right?"

"Edward! That isn't fair!" I said in a huff.

"Yes it is fair, because you know I'm right, and the answer is still no." he stated, almost like a parent that was scorning a child.

I sat up and turned around to face him. "Listen, this isn't really up to you, this should be my decision, since it _is_ my life and my body, at least give me that much!"

"You're right." He agreed. "But you have absolutely no idea what you're asking for, of what it involves and the kind of life you have to live and the life you have to leave behind." He continued, "This life is a curse, this isn't something I'd wish for you, not just so we can be together forever and not because you think it's a good idea or because you don't want me to see you grow old. I don't care if you have wrinkles, need a walker or don't even remember my name. What's important to me is that I'm with you until your very end, holding your hand and loving you every step of the way." He sighed and dropped his eyes towards the floor in despair, as if the even the idea of picturing me that way hurt him. "Is that really too much to ask for?"

"Yes!" I spat, shaking my head. "Yes, it is too much to ask for!" My words stumbled on my lips, my mind working overtime to get the words out so that they made sense. "I don't want to wither away with you holding my hand. I want to live and live forever with you! And no, I don't take forever for granted; I'm not assuming that we'll both live thousands of years as vampires never meeting our end. I just want to be able to use my right as an individual to make this decision for myself and have you support me!"

I placed a reassuring hand on Edward's face, running my thumb over his lips. "I want to be able to make this decision for me, for us and not have to worry about you holding my hand when my time comes. That time doesn't have to come for us, at least not any time soon or even in 50 years, if I'm even allowed being with you for that much longer. If so, is 50 years even enough for you? It's not for me, I want forever and I'm going to have forever, it's my choice Edward."

Edward grabbed my hand and turned his face into it, closing his eyes. "I _do_ want forever Bella, but I don't want you to ever regret your decision." He said in a hushed tone.

"You don't want me to regret it, or _you_ don't want to regret it?" I asked, pointedly.

He opened his eyes and furrowed his brows, focusing hard on my pleading glare. "I would never regret spending forever with you." He said, dropping his hand from mine and stood to face the fireplace, one hand resting on the mantle. "It's just that, that…." he paused, unable to finish his statement.

I stood staring at his back, his defined muscles bulging out across the taut surface of his shirt. "It's just that, what?" I asked, desperately trying to figure out what he was trying to say.

Edward shook his head, never turning to face me. "It's just that..." he sighed heavily. "It's just that I could never bring myself to take your life, and there is no way I would let anyone else do it."

I shrugged my shoulders and threw up my hands. "Fine! I will do it myself th-!"

Before I could even finish my sentence he was standing in front of me, face in mine.

"Bella, my love, my heart…" he paused, shaking his head and taking my face into his hands. "Do not say things like that! You will _NOT_ take your own life, I will never let you!"

"Well, if you won't do it, then I can always go to the Volturi and ask them to turn me!" I sputtered back, unfeeling of Edward's point he was trying to make.

"NO!" He spat, his voice raising an octave. "No Bella, absolutely not!" He shook his head in total disbelief. "They will not turn you, they will bleed you dry and leave your body to rot in the alley! Are you out of your mind?"

A silent tear fell from my eye, my emotions finally finding a way out. Edward always had a way of getting his point across tenderly, even when I was being stupid.

"Will you please be the one to change me then? I don't have to officially be _killed_ in order to change right?" I asked, trying to soften the idea as if it would somehow make the process more appealing to him.

"No… you don't." Edward said, pulling me into his chest and resting his face in my hair, breathing me in. "I can bite you or give you my venom in high doses and it will begin the process. No death has to be involved. If your heart stops then the venom will be useless, so don't do anything stupid."

"But you still didn't say if you will be the one to do it." I mumbled from his chest.

He squeezed me tighter. "If this is what you truly wish, then yes, I will change you myself."

I pulled my head back to look up at him, not delighted and not really upset about his answer. I knew there would be no delight in the process at all. I remember every detail of what Edward told me he had felt when Carlisle changed him. There was no glory in all that pain.

"Will you change me tonight?" I asked, truly wanting to get the process over and done with. "While we're here all alone?"

Edward gazed at me for a moment, brushing my hair out of my eyes and tucking it neatly behind my ear. "No love, not tonight….but soon we will do it."

"But when?" I asked, feeling disappointed.

"When the time is right." He offered.

"And how will we know when the time is right?"

"When you fulfill my 3 conditions first."

"There are conditions now?" I asked, incredulously.

Edward nodded.

"Like What?"

"Well, like three things that I need you to do to see if you are absolutely sure this is what you want to do."

I chuckled softly, "Edward, there is nothing that can change my mind about this. But, if this will make you happy, then I'll do it, as long as it's not jumping off another cliff or something stupid like that."

He smiled back, "No worries love, it's nothing stupid like that, and I'm surprised that you are already agreeing to my conditions without ever knowing what they are."

"I trust you Edward."

"Do you really?" he asked, squinting at me as if to contest me.

"Yes! I do trust you! I can't believe you would even question that." I continued, "Now, what is the first condition?"

"The first condition is that I have an old friend I would like you to speak with, spend some time with, and get to know her."

"_Her_?" I asked, hesitantly.

He nodded in affirmation. "Yes, _her_. As I said, she is an old friend and we go far back. The reason I want you to spend some time with her is because she made the same decision you will be making. She changed for love, to have a forever, just like you want."

"Did she regret her decision?"

"Maybe, maybe not, that is for her to tell you. I just want you to speak to someone that has been there, before you decide. That way, you walk into this well informed. Agreed?"

"Well, why can't I speak with Alice or Esme?" I questioned.

"Because they didn't make the choice for themselves, someone else decided their fate for them, and that's not something I'm going to do to you. I won't let you walk into this blindly. Besides, they're partial to you so it wouldn't help you make a sound decision. We both already know Alice wants you to be part of our family."

"If that's what you want, then I'll do it." I paused, trying to make sense of it all. "But, this friend of yours, what's her name and how long have you known her?"

"Her name is Marina, and I've known her for a very long time. She may come on a bit strong, but her intentions are sincere, to a point."

"To a point?" I asked, backing away, putting some awkward space in between us. "It sounds as if you're throwing me into the lion's den or something."

Edward, obviously strained from the immediate separation took a step closer to me, trying to close the small distance. "I would never do that love; you know I wouldn't put you in a situation that could bring harm to you. We already went through this."

"I know, but you can't really blame me for feeling a bit threatened by this…this… Marina person whom obviously has a history with you and is a vampire to boot." I threw my hands up in surrender; I wanted to move on to the next topic. "So, what is your second condition?"

Edward leaned up against the wall nearest me and folded his arms across his chest. "My second condition is that you go and spend time with each of your parents and give them proper goodbyes but, without telling them goodbye of course. Resolve any matters with your family and friends that need resolving and make amends where needed. After that is done, and you still want to change, then those will be the last moments you spend with them, so hold them close and cherish them."

"Are you saying that once I change, I'll never be able to visit my parents? Not even if they're sick? Or talk to them on the phone?" My heart sank immediately at the thought; I couldn't even begin to imagine life without them. I owe my parents everything; they raised me, took care of me and helped make me who I am today. Of everything Edward was asking of me, this was going to be the hardest.

He nodded and reached out to pull me into his chest, enveloping me in his arms. "That is what it all means, love. They can never see you once you have changed; life will be different for you, and for them. You'll be so blood thirsty as a newborn that we cannot risk you being around them or seeing you. Even after the bloodlust is gone, they will still notice a big difference in you and we cannot risk telling them what you really are, it goes against one of the biggest rules known to vampires; our secret must remain safe at all costs."

"I'll be able to do this." I muttered, trying to convince myself. Tears of loss already trying to form in my eyes and I hadn't even said goodbye yet. "If not for myself, then for you. I can do this."

Edward leaned his head to one side, causing me to look up at him. "Do not do this for me Bella; you must do this for yourself, and only for you. This is why I'm asking this of you, because I don't want you to regret a single moment if you decide you still want to change."

He grabbed my hand and walked me to the larger than life window. Snow was falling steadily and the ground was so thick with the white stuff, it seemed like someone had taken an eraser and removed the entire scenery.

"It's a complete white-out." I stated, more out loud than to myself.

"But it is very beautiful. Seeing it through my eyes gives one a totally new perspective on life. Things are so different once you can really see them for what they are."

I turned to face Edward, capturing his own perfections with my lesser human eyes. "Do you see me differently than others do, like other humans I mean?"

He smiled one of those perfect smiles. "Yes, I see you differently. I see you for who you truly are, inside and out. I see that your beauty is more perfect that you can imagine, flawless. I can only imagine what an even more beautiful vampire you are going to make; even a simple vampire as me cannot even begin to fathom how breathtaking you will be."

My stomach did a flip-flop and I almost found myself giddy. "Does this mean that you'll really change me? You're for sure agreeing to it?"

Edward sighed softly. "Only if you meet my three conditions love."

"Then…." I asked, hesitantly. Still watching him, my eyes never faltering. "What is the third condition?"

He turned back to face the window, his eyes taking focus of something I could not see. "The third condition will be known in due time. I will tell you when the time is right."

"Is it _that_ bad?"

"No, it isn't _bad_ at all, but it will remain my secret until I think the time is right to reveal it. You just have to trust me." He turned to face me again, his eyes sincere and so full of love that it looked as if he were going to burst from the overflow. "You do trust me…" he trailed off. I couldn't determine if it was a statement or a question.

"Absolutely! You know I do! More than anything else!" I stepped into him and wrapped my arms around him to prove how true my confession was. I heard a soft chuckle and he quickly returned my embrace without hesitation.

"I wasn't questioning your trust or love for me Bella; I just want you to be patient. All good things come to those who wait."

I couldn't imagine truer words ever being spoken.

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****Thank you for reading! I apologize for the long delay, but I will be completing this story within the next few weeks. There are a few more chapters left so they should be up and completed soon! :)

**Coming up... Chapter 31**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_The greatest obstacle to the discovery of ourselves is not ignorance, but in seeing an old world with new eyes, that voyage you take in discovering and most important of all is the delight in your new recognition and acceptance of change.  
~Excerpt from Edward's Journal~_

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**Chapter 31 :::DISCOVERY:::**

The next morning I woke to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and a hint of maple wafting through the air. Without opening my eyes I said out loud, "Mmm…that smells really good. I guess I can't complain that we have someone to cook for us."

I rolled over to reach for Edward, but his spot was empty and cool. I sat up and looked around the room, my eyes heavy from sleep trying to pull the surroundings of the bedroom into focus. "Someone to cook for me I mean." I said to the empty room.

"Yes, someone to cook for _you_." The familiar voice responded. Just then, the bedroom door opened and Edward entered with a serving tray. I raised my brows in surprise at the delicacy that awaited me. He brought the tray to my bedside and placed it in front me. "This is all for you love. I figured you would want a hearty breakfast to start your day. You have a busy day ahead of you and I wanted to make sure the _human_ ate." He said with a sly smile.

I reached out and grabbed the toast stuffing it into my mouth as if I hadn't eaten in days. "So, we have a busy day ahead of us?" I asked in clarification.

Edward nodded, "More like…you have a busy day. I'm going to tend to some things and Marina will be over soon to take you shopping."

"Marina will be over soon?" I asked incredulously, almost choking on my bacon. "Take me…shopping?" I shook my head in protest. "I don't even know this woman and you're going to leave me with her? She's a vampire!" I forcefully swallowed my food and gulped down some coffee to clear my throat. "What if she decides to eat me for lunch? Have you seriously lost your mind?"

He chuckled softly. "She isn't going to eat you for lunch. She isn't like that; she's like me…a vegetarian so to speak."

"That doesn't make me feel any better! I still don't know her and you're leaving me alone with her!" I spat.

He sighed and picked up a piece of bacon, bit a piece off of the tip and winced. "How can you eat this stuff? It's so gross…"

"Well, let's see. You basically do the same thing; you just drink their blood and eat their meat." I shook my head in frustration. "Now stop trying to change the subject. I still don't know this woman, so why are you leaving me alone with her and why can't you come with us?"

"I'm not trying to change the subject and I am leaving you alone with her because I trust her. I know for a fact that she would never do anything to hurt you. Now, she might be a bit brazen with her comments and opinions, but you cannot take it personally, it's just who she is. You will have your cell phone so if at any time you feel uncomfortable just call me and I will come and get you, no questions asked. Okay?"

I shrugged. "Fine."

Edward frowned and grazed my cheek with his cool hand, stopping to let his fingertips linger at my chin. "I love you Bella." He said and leaned in to kiss me lightly on the lips.

"I love you too Edward." I responded, my hands still gripping my coffee cup tightly. Love wasn't going to make my reservations about this woman go away. I wanted more reassurance than this and preferably, having Edward with me would be a lot better.

"So…" I raised my head and tilted it back to meet his eyes. "Why on earth is this woman taking me shopping?"

He smiled and lowered his hand to rest on my knee. "You are going shopping with her because you need some things for tonight and, shopping with me won't be of any good to you. She can help you pick a dress out and other things that you may need."

"A dress?" I asked, confused.

"Yes, a dress. I am taking you to the Winter Ball tonight and I want you to go and buy whatever you want with no worry of the cost. I want you to look and feel like a queen."

I laughed, "Me? A queen? You're funny you know that?"

"I might be, but I am not attempting to make a joke. Everyone there will be wearing ball gowns and tuxedos so I want you to look and feel as if you are queen of the ball." He removed the tray from the bed and sat it on the nightstand. He rejoined me and took my hands into his. "Tonight is your night and I want it to be memorable for you." He said softly yet to the point.

"Okay." I replied, understanding. "Memorable it will be, but I'm only wearing a dress because you're asking me to." I sighed, not really from frustration but more because I could already see myself all dressed up in some bedazzled get-up that was more outrageous than it was simple, but I would be more than happy to give him what he wanted and, it wasn't like it was going to kill me for one night. "I guess I will be your queen for just one night." I added, throwing him a playful wink.

Edward chuckled softly, shaking his head. "You will always be my queen, no matter what." then took my face into his hands and kissed me passionately.

I could do this all morning, but knowing that I would be meeting this Marina woman soon, I knew that I needed to get up and start making myself look presentable.

An hour later, I had showered and was ready to appear in public without scaring anyone away.

Edward turned to greet me as I came down the stairs. "You clean up nicely." He said, joking.

I playfully stuck my tongue out at him as he gave me a once over, eyeing me from head to toe.

He laughed and held out my coat. Wait…that wasn't my usual coat. Mine was a dingy brown coat, well-worn and oh so warm.

"That's not my coat." I said, bewildered.

"Yes love, it's yours. I went and bought you a new one this morning because it's supposed to be below freezing all day and I don't want you getting cold or sick."

"But I'm used to the cold."

His eyes flashed from me, to the coat and back, his smile fading from his face. I couldn't tell from his expression if he thought I was talking about him or just the cold in general, but I wanted to clarify. "You forget that I live in Forks, home of the cold…and rain. I'll be okay." I reassured him, and then made my way to let him help me into my newly acquired coat.

As I was fastening the last button, a loud-rapping knock at the front door echoed down the hall into the oversized living room.

Edward glanced up. "That would be Marina." He said, and flashed towards the door before I could even blink.

He opened the door and invited Marina in. She followed Edward into the living where they stood before me embracing for a long moment, and then kissed each other lightly on each cheek.

He turned to me with a soft expression painted on his face and introduced Marina to me without looking at her. "Marina, it would be my pleasure to introduce you to my other half, this is Bella." He smiled affectionately at me, and then added. "Bella, this is Marina."

I nodded respectively. "Nice to meet you Marina."

"And it is so lovely to _finally_ meet you Bella." The other girl said, as she held out her hand.

I reached out and took her hand, noticing that it was as cold as Edward's. Firm yet feminine.

She stood before me dressed to kill. Not literally, but her choice of clothing was not in distaste. I honestly thought that this woman could definitely give Alice a run for her money and out doing Alice in the fashion department would be hard for even the most accomplished designer.

Marina presented herself in a graceful pose, composed and confident, almost as if she dared anyone to challenge her. She had short-cropped strawberry blonde hair, tousled with a bit of wave but not frizzy. A very feminine, pale complexion, about a shade lighter than Edward's but still fitting for her. She was as tall as Edward, with long slender arms and legs that seemed to go on forever. I felt a bit of jealousy rise in my throat; this was Edward's long-lost friend? Now I know why he never said anything to me about her. He was probably afraid I would think otherwise of his relationship with her.

Marina spun around to face Edward, blowing me off as if she was all too aware of my scrutinizing eyes.

"So, Edward!" She exclaimed, bouncing on her toes. "Please tell me if my plans with your dear _Bella_ are still the same for today?" She said, overly emphasizing my name before turning to glare at me.

Edward brought her attention back to him. "Yes, everything is still the same…shopping, bonding and whatever else women do when out on the town for the day." He made his way over to me and draped a loving arm across my shoulders. "Make sure she picks the best, I want nothing less for her."

"And if she argues with me?" Marina said flippantly.

"She won't argue with you." He said reassuringly. "But if she does, buy it anyway. She's going to be my queen for the night and I want her to pick out whatever she wants."

It felt awkward listening to this discussion about me while I stood between them. "Um, if I argue…It will be for a good reason, and I'm not going to buy something that I don't like." I stated as a matter-of-fact. "And, if you two are going to discuss me, please make sure I'm included in the conversation if I'm in the room…Okay?" I added, sarcastically.

Both Marina and Edward looked at me with raised brows. Whatever, I could have cared less. I wasn't going to stand idly by while others had discussions about me as if I didn't even exist.

"So…" I said, breaking the obvious tension in the room. "Are we going to get this show on the road or what?" I was ready to go and get this shopping experience over.

Marina glanced at Edward with a confused expression on her face.

"It's just a saying." He said, answering her silent question. "No one is literally putting a show on the road."

Marina nodded in confirmation and shrugged. She turned and glanced over me for a moment as if she was trying to decide whether my current choice in clothing was suitable enough to be seen with her in public.

"Problem?" I asked when more than enough time had passed under her rude examination.

She blatantly ignored me and spoke to Edward instead. "A bit feisty isn't she?"

I felt my jaw fall open in disbelief.

"Only when you challenge or threaten her, so I wouldn't push it if I were you." Edward said in my defense.

She narrowed her eyes at his admonishment and cocked her head arrogantly to one side. "Me threaten _her_?" she said incredulously. "For heaven's sake Edward, she's just a weak, feeble human!"

Edward started forward, but I put my hand out to keep him back and surprisingly enough he let me. "A weak, feeble human?" I spat at her, my voice trembling with anger. "How dare you even begin to think that I am no challenge! " I took a few steps forward until I was standing directly in her face. I had to lift my head some because she was taller, but I wasn't letting that stop me. "Let's get one thing straight, you… arrogant bitch! I didn't ask for you to come here and I sure as hell didn't invite you into my home, so if you're going to stand there like you've got something to prove, then prove it! Don't waste my time being a bitch and insulting me! I don't have time for stupid insecure people like YOU!" I yelled, my fists curling up at my sides. My breathing was heavier and I could feel the muscles in my neck already tensing up.

Edward immediately stepped between the both of us and wrapped one perfect hand around Marina's entire neck. The room fell completely silent, even the crackling from the fire-place seemed to pause in anticipation. The only sound was the faint gulping emanating from her throat. She stood completely still in his grasp, not daring to make even the smallest move. Her eyes locked on his and it seemed that they were having a conversation that I was purposely being left out of.

After a few minutes of the two vampires being locked in their statuesque pose, Marina blinked and croaked out a "Yes." I saw Edward's grasp around her throat tighten even more and she closed her eyes. Once more she barely spoke a garbled "I promise." Then he released her.

I stood there staring at these two utterly confused. Was he speaking to her with his mind? Could she hear him? I already knew the answer to my question. These two obviously shared the same gift. They could _both_ read minds.

_How odd_ …I thought to myself as I watched them both regain their composure. I bit back at smile as she re-straightened her clothes with what dignity she had left.

Marina turned to me with shame filling her eyes. "I apologize immensely Bella; I did not mean to threaten you in any way. I was severely out of line, I ask your forgiveness."

I stood there in shock, my jaw once again dropped open, but this time was because I didn't know what to say. What did Edward say to her? "Umm…You're forgiven?" This was crazy. I looked at Edward and he could tell what I was thinking by my expression. He leaned in and whispered softly, sending chills down my spine. "We will discuss this later. I love you."

I nodded in confirmation. "I love you too." I knew that the feelings intended to go with my words didn't fully reach my eyes. He saw this, and I watched as concern took over his expression. "We'll discuss it later." I whispered back, already knowing what his question was going to be.

Marina cleared her throat and both Edward and I hugged and said our goodbyes. He watched as we left and I could still feel his eyes on me as I made my way to the car. We weren't even down the road a mile before my phone rang out with a text message. I pulled it out and read it. _Do not hesitate to call if you need me. Remember… I love you more than my own life. Have a great day love._ My heart skipped a beat and Marina noticed. Ugh, vampires and their supernatural hearing. I looked at her and shrugged innocently. "He loves you more than your mind is able to comprehend." She offered sincerely.

And so our day of shopping began. We stopped at a few stores that sold dresses and the like, but nothing they had fit what I had pictured in my mind when Edward had mentioned it this morning. After lunch, we stopped at one of the more upscale stores and I actually found the dress I was looking for. I immediately fell in love with it and knew Edward would be more than pleased to see me in it. I had never been to a winter ball before so I was still unsure of what I was getting myself into. I knew that with ball gowns and tuxedos the atmosphere was definitely going to be high-class and I wasn't too confident with that considering my poor social skills. Awkward I could be, but I wasn't a totally blundering idiot when it came to public functions. I would work with what I had and go with the flow as they say.

Marina already had her dress picked out she had told me, and that was after I found out that she was attending as well. She helped me pick out the proper under garments to go with my dress up to the perfect shoes and accessories. As we walked out of the last store, a woman approached Marina in a friendly manner and introduced herself as Sarah Cartwright. She was obviously of the vampire breed and stood proud, her head held high when speaking. I assumed from their conversation that they didn't know each other personally, but knew of each other through mutual friends. I stood there patiently yet awkwardly while they conversed, going on about the ball tonight and what not. I entertained myself with a crack in the sidewalk and shuffled my bags from hand to hand giving myself something to do. Only at the moment that Sarah told Marina that she looked awfully familiar and then asked which part of the world that she hailed from did the conversation make me stop and really listen. This was something that even I wanted to know. We had spent the entire day getting along and shopping but nothing personal about her life ever came up. Not even her age or who her mate was. I thought that was a bit awkward as she already seemed to know everything about me.

I heard Marina hesitate before giving Sarah her answer. "I'm from Alaska; at least that is where I live now."

"Oh, so do you live with the Denali clan?" Sarah asked inquisitively.

Marina shook her head no and Sarah seemed to understand to leave it alone.

"Is your mate attending the ball as well tonight, or are you going solo?" Sarah asked next.

My ears perked up, but I pretended to be interested in a shirt that was on display in the store window we were standing next to.

"I will be going with my mate. We're staying in one of the cabins here locally, you should come visit us." Marina said, trying to be gracious to her new friend but really hoping she would decline the invite.

Sarah smiled, "My husband and I would love that. What is your husband's name, maybe mine has heard of him."

"His name is Ransom Shaw." She said firmly through tight lips. She seemed to be afraid of something, but I couldn't put my finger on just what it was.

"Oh! My husband and I have both heard of him. He seems to have a great reputation in the banking world! I do believe he has donated to a few of our charity fundraisers. You must be so proud of him!"

"Yes, I am very proud. Now you have a good day Sarah, it was wonderful meeting you. I will see you tonight at the ball." Marina said, trying to obviously get away from this woman. Something was fishy here and I was making a mental note to ask Edward a lot of questions when I got home.

Marina and I turned to walk towards her car and Sarah called her name out. "Marina! I have finally figured out where I know you from!" she said and began making her way back to us.

Marina started to scramble. "Okay! That's umm….that's great! Have a great day!" and turned to move quickly, pulling me along with her. "Let's go now, get in the car!" she whispered to me hurriedly.

Sarah didn't give up; she made it to us in record time, forcing us both to stop dead in our tracks. I actually didn't want to leave; I wanted to see what Marina was trying so desperately to hide. What didn't she want me to hear?

Sarah bore an expression of total recognition on her face. She seemed proud of it too. "You are Marina Mason Shaw!" She said, ecstatic of her discovery.

"Yes, Yes." Marina spat. "Once again, it was nice meeting you Sarah; I shall meet up with you again tonight. Good day!"

I repeated the name twice in my mind. _Marina Mason Shaw_. What was so familiar about this name, what was I missing?

_Marina—Mas- _Wait! Mason? As in Edward _Mason_ Cullen? That can't be! Is it even possible or do they just happen to have the same last name?

I turned my confusion on Marina. "Are you related to Edward?" I asked point-blank.

Sarah glanced at me as if finally noticing me for the first time. "You know Edward young lady?"

"Of course, I'm-" I barely got any words out before Marina cut me off. "I'm sorry, but we really have to go. It's getting late and we need time to prepare for the ball tonight."

Sarah never took her eyes off of me. "I find it surprising that you would know Mr. Cullen or that he would even fraternize with a human. Oh I'm so sorry! You are his house servant, I do apologize!"

Would this day of insults ever end? Would I be dealing with this type of idiocy and arrogance for the rest of my forever with Edward? Well, I deal with it in human life, so what difference does it make I rationalized.

"I'm not his house servant you stupid wench, I'm his girlfriend!" I spat out at her.

Sarah gawked at me. "You rude little B-!"

"ENOUGH!" Marina yelled in a fluster. "Say another word insulting Bella and I will have your head served to her on a silver platter!"

Sarah automatically backed down and walked off, no… she ran off rambling on about having to be somewhere soon.

I just stood there staring at Marina in shock. "Would you like to tell me what's going on?"

She shrugged her shoulders in defeat. "He's going to kill me you know."

"Who is?"

"Edward is!"

"Why would he do that? You haven't done anything to hurt me."

She sighed and put our shopping bags in the trunk and hesitated there for a moment while I got in the car. Once she seemed to get herself back together we drove off heading back to my cabin.

Marina spoke up breaking the tense silence in the car. "He will be very upset with me. This was something he wanted to tell you, I was just supposed to get to know you and talk to you about your decision."

"What did he want to tell me, that you weren't allowed to?"

She stopped at the stop sign, put the car in park and turned to face me. "Edward is my brother, Bella. He's my biological brother."

I leaned further back in my seat letting the news sink in, not really feeling anything. "I'm so sick and tired of being shocked, of being the last person to find things out, of having people insult me. I'm just so tired of it all." I kept my eyes focused on the road in front of us, the car still in park. "I want you to tell me everything, leave nothing out and don't hold anything back for mine or Edward's sake or because he has asked you to. If you want a good relationship with me, to start things out right, you will do this one thing for me." I paused for a moment and then added for emphasis. "You can start now."

Marina began spilling the rest of the secret. She told me that when Carlisle had changed Edward, he was unaware that he had a sister. "I was working with the Nursing Corps when he was changed. We assume from Carlisle's revelations that our Mom worried about Edward because he was dying. She wasn't worried for me because she knew that I was alive and well…and married with a child of my own."

"You have a child too?" I asked

"I did." A car pulled up behind us and began honking its horn for us to move on through the stop sign. Marina just ignored them and continued. "I did have a daughter, but she passed when she was an infant. Medicine in those days weren't as modern as it is today."

"What happened to your husband?"

"He died in the war, when my daughter was 3 months old, and then my daughter left me shortly afterwards. Later on I met my mate while traveling with the nursing corps and that's when I decided that I wanted to change, to be like him so that we could be together forever."

"Do you regret that decision?"

"No, I don't regret a thing. I had already lost so much that it was actually an easy decision to become like him."

I shrugged. "Well then, I don't understand why Edward would want me to talk with you about my decision to change. You had no issues changing because you weren't leaving anyone behind, it was like you had nothing stopping you… but I do."

"What is stopping you?" she asked me.

"I don't have anything stopping me per say, it's just that the hardest thing will be leaving my family behind and watching all of them and my friends die. I don't know how I'll be able to handle that."

"If you decide that the change is what you really want, then that is something you have no choice but to face. You can't have it both ways you know."

"I know, but it's something I'm willing to suffer through for Edward." I felt tears beginning to emerge from my eyes and started blinking rapidly, trying to make them go away. "I know it will be hard, but at least I'll have him there to support me. If I end up not handling it well, I know I'll have the best support group standing behind me. Besides, I would end up going through it as a human anyway, so it will be hard regardless of my decision."

"I understand." Marina said reassuringly. "You just have to decide what is best for you. Even though you may think that it was easy for me to choose to change, it really wasn't. There will be so many other things that you will face that you normally wouldn't as a human, and there will also be great things and opportunities that you will never experience otherwise. I chose to change for a forever love and I will never regret that, there is nothing that would have made me decide not to."

"Thank you for the insight." I said. "This just reaffirms about how I feel on changing. I know I'm going to regardless, but I promised Edward I would submit to his three conditions first. My next condition to fill is to go and say goodbye to my parents without them knowing. We'll see where my mind is after that I guess."

"He just wants what's best for you. He wants you to think everything through before making a final decision." Marina turned and put the car in drive and pulled out from the stop sign. I had no idea how long we had sat there, but the talk was worth it all to me. She remained quiet for most of the way.

"So," she said quietly. "No regrets?"

I smiled. "No regrets."

I walked in the front door as Marina pulled out of the driveway, leaving me with my shopping paraphernalia in hand. I noticed though, that as soon as I walked in, Edward was facing me standing in front of the fireplace. I stood there for a moment studying him. He wasn't even moving, his hands were clasped in front of him and his eyes were cast downwards towards the floor. I felt like I was admiring a Greek god statue that is chiseled to perfection in every possible way. _Why wasn't he moving?_ I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. It wasn't normal for him to not at least greet me upon entering, maybe he could have said _hello?_ Or maybe a, _How was your day?_

I continued to stand there with my garment bag draped over my right arm, and my left hand holding the bag that held all the boxes of goodies. I purposely let the bag in my left hand drop to the floor and it hit with a loud thud.

Still no response. No movement.

I finally sighed and walked up to the back of the couch and put my garment bag over the back of it. I walked up to Edward and stood in front of him.

"Edward, I love you." I said softly and reached out putting my hand on his.

He raised his head and met my eyes.

* * *

**Next up Chapter 32...**


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_On the journey of love, impossibilities are resolved by turning non-love into love.  
With growth comes new potential, leading to the realization that you both are pure potential, able to turn any indifference into love.  
~__Excerpt from Edward's Journal_

* * *

**Chapter 32 :::OVERTURE:::**

Are you going to tell me what's wrong? I asked, worried that possibly something bad had happened while I was out.

"I know she told you everything, about her and I being siblings I mean." Edward confessed.

I nodded. "Yeah, she did. But why didn't you want her to tell me? Was there a specific reason you couldn't just tell me this the night before? Must you hide everything from me?" I asked incredulously.

He sighed and shook his head. "Bella, I am sorry for not telling you sooner. I knew when you and Marina pulled up that she had told you. That and your discussion with her were still on her mind. I honestly didn't think that it would come out the way it did. I figured that it would probably be better for you to get to know her first before I told you."

"I understand your point, but you've had a bad habit lately of waiting to tell me important things and I end up finding out another way. It should always come from you and it should always be right away."

"I know, and I am very sorry." Edward said.

I scoffed. "Listen! I know you're sorry, but sorry isn't going to fix this every time it happens. It's getting old Edward! I don't even care that Marina is your sister, it's not really a big flipping deal to me...Okay?"

"Okay" he said softly. "I knew you would be mad at me and I am honestly not trying to withhold important information from you. It's just that every time I wait, with all good intentions to tell you something, it always ends badly."

"Well then, stop waiting to tell me things!" I spat. "Tell me as soon as you find out or right away if it's something that I need or would want to know!"

"I will. I won't hesitate to speak to you about anything that is important like this." He promised, casting his gaze back to the floor.

"Whatever Edward. Just do me a favor and stop feeling sorry for yourself." I said, feeling emotionally exhausted. "I just don't want to spend forever with someone who can't be straight with me. It's not worth it, and if you're doing this on purpose to try to get me to change my decision about becoming a vampire...well...then it's working!" I said angrily and stormed off.

I made my way to my bedroom and flopped down in a backwards dive on the bed. I can't say that it was graceful, but then again I didn't really care. I was so angry. We were supposed to be having a great night, getting ready for the Winter Ball and now all this drama is occurring. I just want one freaking night off where nothing major happens. I just want one night to breathe, to be away from all of this constant chaos.

I back-tracked through my thoughts and analyzed them. _I wanted a night off from all of this?_ I had to admit to myself that this _life _was beginning to take a toll on me. _Was this really for me? Ugh..I just can't seem to win! _I turned over and began murdering my pillow. I pound my fists in it until I couldn't do it anymore. I wanted the aggravation and frustration out of my system. I wanted all the issues wiped away. I didn't want to deal with anymore issues with Jacob, the Volturi, hear about Victoria or her brother. I didn't even want to deal with Marina and that high-class bitch Sarah. _Who the hell did she think she was anyway? Freaking high-pollutant stuck-up wench!_

Standing up I just let it all out. "Ughhh!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and then threw myself back on the bed in a huff.

I heard Edward coming up the stairs so I hid my face in my pillow. I really didn't want to look at him now and I surely didn't want him around me. I knew it was childish, but I had enough.

The sound of the door creaking open came long before Edward spoke. "Bella? Are you okay love?"

I spun around on the bed sitting upright. "No! I'm not okay! I don't want to be here!"

"We can leave and go back home if that's what you want." he offered softly.

I shook my head in defiance. "No...I don't want _us _to go back home. _I_ want to go back home...anywhere is fine...I just want to get away from _all _of this!" I said, moving my hands in a giant circle to emphasize my point.

The look on Edward's face was that of confusion. "Are you saying that you want to get away from _me_ or that you just want to leave this place?" He asked, unsure.

I let my shoulders slump forward and rubbed my forehead in frustration. "Both!" I said, without hesitation.

After an extended moment of silence, I turned to look up at Edward. I wasn't a mind reader so looking at his expression was the best method for me to know what he was feeling.

Edward was dumbfounded. He didn't expect my answer and just stood there, opening his mouth to say something then closing it. He put his hands in his front pockets and glared at the floor.

"When would you like to leave? Just say when and I'll make the arrangements for you." he said, his voice cracking.

He was hurt and I knew it. I had hurt him in the process of my rant and I knew that two wrongs didn't make a right. It wasn't my intention to leave; I'd just had enough and needed to blow off some steam. I just wished he would have given me more time before coming upstairs to check on me, at least let me come down to him after I'd had some time to cool off.

It was safe to assume that he took my silence as a confirmation to make arrangements. "I'll go make some calls now. Would you like me to drive you to the airport or would you rather have me call a taxi?" he asked, still not looking at me.

"I don't want either." I said, tears rolling down my cheeks in a steady stream. "I'm sorry." I barely choked out.

He was at my side in an instant. "Please don't cry love. This is my fault and I feel so badly that I keep putting you through things that you truly don't deserve. If you need me to go, I will. I have no problem giving you some time to yourself if that's what you need. I don't deserve you, you put up with me when you shouldn't. It's always my intention to keep you safe, but somehow I always end up hurting you."

My tears fell even faster; the liquid emotions falling past my lips and splattering on my jeans. "I don't want you to leave and neither do I. I don't think I could handle that again." I said, sobbing.

Edward wrapped his arms around me lovingly and kissed the top of my head. He held me for the longest while I just sat there and cried my heart out. I guess sometimes it's good to just let things out, it was better than keeping it all in or walking out the door. I knew that we were both determined not to let anything tear us apart and despite everything else, no matter how bad things around us became, we would never leave the other.

The next thing I knew I was waking up with Edward curled up behind me, still holding me. He had me pulled into him with my head on his arm. My face felt sticky as I picked up my head to look at him.

"Feel better after your nap?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, still groggy. "I'm sorry I fell asleep on you, guess I needed it."

He chuckled softly. "Yes, I do believe you needed it. You literally cried yourself to sleep."

"Wow..." was all I could manage.

Then I realized something. "Oh! What time is it? We have to get ready for the ball tonight!"

Edward pulled me further against him if that was even possible. "We have plenty of time; it doesn't start until nine o'clock."

"Why so late?"

"It's um...a vampire ball my love. Everything starts late with us." he replied.

"Oh, sounds like fun. I'm just _dying_ to go!" I said dramatically.

He leaned his head over mine and raised a brow. "Really? Well…Since that's the case, I guess I should just go ahead and kill you off now...you know...save you some time!" he joked and began to play around in an attempt to put me in a better mood.

It worked.

We ended up wrestling on the bed, without his full strength of course. If that happened, I'd end up on the first floor scraping myself off the expensive carpet. At least I knew that I could give it my best and not hurt him one bit. He feigned pain a few times, but I knew he was trying to make me laugh.

We soon found ourselves on the floor, tangled up and laughing until my stomach hurt. It felt good not to have any worries or frustration for that brief moment.

Several hours later Edward stood at the bottom of the stairs calling my name. I took one last glance at myself in the full length mirror. I sighed and crossed my fingers; I was hoping that he would love the dress I had chosen.

My dress wasn't simple as I had wanted, but the extra frills told me it was perfect for tonight. It was a silhouetted ball gown made of organza. It had a silver bodice adorned with Swarovski crystals and was strapless. The skirt had sheer white panels that suspended from a perfect form-fitting silver sash and cascaded in tiers all the way down to the floor.

I smoothed my hands over the front and picked up my skirt to reveal my silver and diamond encrusted heels. _This better make him drool_. I thought to myself and began my descent down the stairs.

I kept my eyes on Edward the entire time. I watched as his breath caught in his throat. No, not necessary for him although it was very satisfying to get such a reaction. The fact that he made such a human response was most flattering.

He held out his hand and took mine to escort me down the last steps. "Wow!" He said as he spun me around to admire the entire package. "You are absolutely beautiful my love. I am afraid to take you to the ball, for now I fear you would be so quick to steal another man's heart. All eyes will most definitely be on you tonight." He spoke elegantly, as if he were a seventeenth century gentleman.

I blushed and Edward smiled at my response. "You are certainly _my_ Queen of the Night." he said.

"Well, though I'm not really a queen, it will be nice to play one for a night." I said thoughtfully.

He looked as if he were in deep thought. "You are right. You really aren't a queen...yet." He turned and grabbed a black velvet box, about the size of a small shoebox and just as deep. He held it in one hand and opened it up carefully with his other. There sat perched upon its own velveteen pedestal, a sterling silver diamond tiara. My mouth fell open in shock. "Is that thing real?"

"Yes, it is. Nothing but the best for you love."

He took the tiara out of the box and placed it smoothly on my head, positioning it ever-so-perfectly.

"There… Now you are an official queen of the night." He paused to take a step back and admire me. "And" he added.. "You are _ALL_ mine."

"Thanks" I said shyly, reaching up to run my fingers over the tiara's delicate surface. "I love it!"

I was extremely happy yet slightly embarrassed, even though I had no real reason to be. There was no particular reason that I could come up with at the moment to use as an excuse to get out of his doting. No sarcastic comments came to mind and all I could feel as I stood here staring at Edward was complete and total adoration. A girl could definitely enjoy this treatment for one night. Besides, I deserved this. I was finally getting my night off and not to mention it was one completely fit for a queen too; who in their right mind would give that up?

I took a step forward and wrapped my arms tightly around Edward, pushing up on my tip toes so I could reach him. I kissed him so passionately; a passion only a king would be deserving of and gave him my thanks in my own special way.

A slight hitch in his throat brought me back to reality. Only when I pulled away from his lips did I realize that our hands had taken on a life of their own, obviously having other ideas of how to spend our night together. I smiled and laughed awkwardly as I realized what I had done and took a step back to smooth out my dress.

"Not so fast." He said and pulled me back to him, pressing his body against mine. "You did nothing wrong love. I am all yours to enjoy tonight as well...do with me as you wish." He whispered softly, kissing my cheek lightly, trailing down to my neck and sending chills throughout my body.

"I might hold you to that." I said in teasing, my lips barely touching his ear as I spoke. I felt his body react and on that note, I knew we had better leave before we wasted good money on fancy clothes that never made it to the Winter Ball they were intended for.

We arrived in style at the infamous Winter Ball via a Rolls Royce that Edward had insisted was the best mode of travel for the night. I had no complaints. After being escorted down a snow-kissed red carpet, our coats were taken and we were ushered into the grand ball room. There was really no perfect way to describe the room I stood in, it was only something you read about in books—where the fairytale romance always ended on a high note, the couple living happily ever after.

People were already out on the dance floor and moving about the room mingling with others. The humans were sipping champagne and flirting with the obviously single and very gorgeous vampires. I glanced up at Edward, thankful that I had my very own gorgeous and very un-single man right here on my arm. I had absolutely no problem letting the others tend to their own business as long as they left mine alone.

Edward broke my attention away from the flirting and snubbing chaos and whisked me out on the dance floor.

"Umm…I'd rather not dance tonight; I don't want to look like a dying swan that's trying to be graceful and ruin the skilled expectations that go along with this dress." I said, while leaning over to whisper it seductively in his ear. Partly to let him know that I really didn't want to dance but mostly putting on a show to let others know he was mine. I knew the expression that was on his face without even having to look and he wasn't having any of it.

"You don't have a choice tonight my love. Tonight…You are going to have fun and with no reservations."

"Regardless, I'm still going to look like a dork."

With this, he spun me around in a perfect circle in front of him admiring me, the tiers of my dress flaring out and showing off my lean legs. I think he was the one doing the showing off now, marking his territory. I was fine with that.

Satisfied with this exhibition, he pulled me in tightly, his face so close I could feel his lashes against my cheeks.

"You know, many a man has said they have seen angels on earth…but my eyes have seen you tonight and that will always be more than enough for me."

I melted right there in my expensive shoes. He had me right where he wanted me.

This time I didn't have to stand on his feet as he carried me in a slow dance. I followed his lead and kept in step. I didn't even think about it, I just went with the flow and pretended there was no one else there but Edward and me.

We danced for longer than I thought was possible, were introduced to some of his acquaintances and even ran into Marina and her husband. I saw that nasty woman Sarah off and on but she refused to meet my eyes every time I glanced her way. If she had something to hide or an issue with me well, then I really didn't care. I refused to spend my night worrying about one more thing or obnoxious person.

A familiar slow song played softly in the background as Edward and I moved passionately across the dance floor. I had my head nestled on his chest with my eyes closed and my arms wrapped around his neck. All I could think about what his scent and how intoxicating it was, I wondered if it would be stronger once I became a vampire or if it would always stay the same or if I would even stay the same to him. _Would my scent change?_ I'm sure it would, being I wouldn't have a beating heart that would be pumping blood through my veins anymore. After all, my blood _is_ what attracted him to me in the first place, or should I say distracted. Needless to say, I know there will be major and subtle changes when my cross-over to the immortal world occurs, but my biggest fear is that it will be so much of a difference that it would cause him to think otherwise of me. The rampant thoughts caused a shiver to run through my body and Edward took notice, causing him to wrap his arms more tightly around me and pull me in closer.

"I could hold you like this forever" he whispered affectionately. "Maybe I should refuse to ever let you go."

"That would be a bit hard to accomplish when I have no intentions of ever leaving your arms to start with."

I could feel his smile radiate throughout his body. It was true though, I never wanted to leave his arms, to never be apart from him—even when I had bad days or when things went wrong or even when his well-meant intentions of keeping information from me caused a rift in our relationship. We would work through anything sent our way, good or bad. So far, we had experienced so much bad in our relationship that any normal human couple would have already took off running in separate directions seeking sanity, but we've always managed to beat the odds. Normal wasn't a word that could be used for our imperfect alliance; I couldn't say that even abnormal would fit, it was more like extraordinary and unorthodox—a very anomalous pairing. Whatever we thought of it and regardless of what others thought of us, I didn't really care, we were together and that's all that mattered to either of us. All that mattered to me was what I thought of and felt for my boyfriend.

_Hmm…Boyfriend. _I thought to myself. That sounds so strange to call him that even though that's who he is to me; he's so much more than a boyfriend to me. _What else would I call him?_ My Beau? - My Romantic Companion? - My Flame? All of that sounded so corny to me, he was more than any of that… he was my…Soulmate. Yes, that was it…My soulmate!

I leaned back to look up at him. "Edward?" I inquired softly.

"Yes love?" he said, tenderly meeting my gaze.

"You aren't my just my _boyfriend_ you know."

He raised a curious brow, "And why would I not be?"

"Well...because you're so much more than that to me. I was just thinking it all through and how crazy calling you boyfriend or anything else sounds to me."

"And what did you finally come up with? Your irresistible _Suitor_ or maybe your devoted _Steady_?" he offered lightly, digging for my thoughts.

I laughed demurely. "No silly, we're not courting as they would back in the Stone Age, so I couldn't possibly call you my suitor or steady by any modern terms."

He threw his head back with a slight burst of pure laughter, shaking his head. "Stone Age? I am not _that_ old sweetheart. Why must you make me so much older than I actually am?"

I smirked. "I'm not trying to make you older; I'm just trying to make a point."

"And what is the point you're trying to make?"

"My point is, is that you aren't all of those to me, none of those descriptions fit you."

"Did you find one that does?" he asked inquisitively.

"Yes in fact I did, and despite all that has ever happened to me, your love has made my life come to life, and in the entire world there is no other love for you like mine. So the only thing that I can come up with is that you are my soulmate, no other word could ever describe you better."

Edward responded by leaning in and kissing me passionately. He pulled away slightly but kept my face in his hands, his thumbs grazing my damp, kiss-swollen lips.

"And you are my soulmate." He said tenderly, his eyes intense and filled with an undeniable devotion. "Whatever our souls are made of, yours and mine are the same."

Without another word he took me by the hand and led me out of the building and to our waiting car.

"Where are we going?" I asked, worried. I put on my seatbelt nervously as the chauffeur drove us down the long driveway and away from the plaza. "Did I say or do something wrong?"

Edward placed his hand on my thigh and leaned in closer. "No love, you did nothing wrong. I'm taking you somewhere very special though. I have wanted to do this for a while, but I've been waiting for the right time."

I glanced ahead and then back up at him in bewilderment. "And now is the right time?"

He nodded in affirmation. "Haven't you been waiting patiently for my third condition?"

"Actually, I have wondered but, didn't want to bother you about it. I figured that with everything else going on it wasn't important or wasn't the right time to ask you."

"Oh believe me, it is very important. I wanted to wait to reveal it to you. When I thought you and I were both ready."

"When we're both ready?"

He nodded.

"So then, what is your third condition?"

He let a sly smirk cross his face before hiding it quickly. "You will see love, just a bit longer."

After some time on the road the car finally pulled to a stop. The chauffeur opened our door and Edward helped me out.

"You will wait for us as instructed before?" Edward said to the driver.

The driver gave him a quick smile and quickly got back into the car to wait.

I was still confused about what was going on but I figured that it would be best to wait it out instead of pestering Edward with more questions. I knew he wouldn't tell me so my efforts would have been futile. I stood there and waited patiently like the good girl that I was.

Edward glanced around the area for a moment before proceeding ahead. We began walking up a hidden path covered in snow. Surprisingly enough though it wasn't that cold outside, there was a slight chill but, the dense forest around us protected us like a warm blanket.

He led me further down the trail and up a few stone steps which brought us to a granite platform that overlooked the mountains. I looked up at Edward who then placed his hand at the small of my back and encouraged me to take a step further to look over the railing.

The view was absolutely breathtaking. You could see mountains as far as the eye could see. The snow was falling on the town below, so peaceful and serene and caressed by the soft moonlight, it gave a magical feeling to such a perfect night.

"This is absolutely beautiful!" I said with great pleasure and turned back to face him. "Where did you find this place?"

I stopped dead in my tracks and felt my jaw fall open in shock.

Edward was kneeling before me on one knee and held out in one hand a small, black velvet ring box.

I covered my mouth with my shaking hand, words eluding me. Was he proposing?

"Bella.." he began softly. His eyes golden brown eyes flickering with a confidence I'd never seen before and his face so very sincere. "May I ask you a question?"

"Ye..Yes" I managed to choke out, nodding my head in approval.

"Bella… My love, the minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you. I have tried with all my being to find someone comparable to my self, but no one ever seemed worthy. It would be a crime to denounce the beauty of such a creature as you, to simply cast away the precision that was placed in forging you. Each facet of your being whether it physical or spiritual is an ensnarement from which there is no release. But I do not wish release. I wish to stay entrapped forever, with you… my soulmate for all eternity…our hearts, always as one."

Edward slowly opened the ring box and brought his eyes up to lock again with mine. I remained standing there motionless, my heart beating at such a high-speed I could feel it twitching in my neck and pounding in my ears; my breath was short and panicked, I knew exactly what was coming.

Surprisingly, he stood up still holding the open ring box in one hand and used his free hand to caress the side of my face, tracing my features as if seeing them for the first time.

"Bella..." he whispered softly. "Will you bestow upon me the greatest honor and be my eternity…become my wife?"

I opened my mouth to respond but nothing came out so I closed it quickly still feeling panicked. He continued to wait patiently for my answer, completely unmoving.

I knew what my answer was without hesitation but my body was still reeling from the shock, this wasn't something I needed to think about.

I took a deep breath and smiled, my heart doing its own little dance. "Yes!" I happily proclaimed. "Yes! I will be your wife!" I jumped up and down and wrapped my arms around his neck holding him tightly and kissing him all over. He stopped our dance of excitement long enough to slide the vintage, three-carat diamond and white gold engagement ring on my left ring finger. I remembered seeing it in the box but on my tiny finger it looked huge! I had never seen a ring like it in my life and I couldn't have picked out a better one if I'd chosen it myself.

"I love it Edward! It's so beautiful!" I said, perfectly elated.

"So you are willing to marry me and spend eternity with me?" He asked, half in teasing and half in sincerity.

"Of course!" I exclaimed. "I will marry you and spend eternity with you! For infinity, forever or however you wish to say it. I say let's do it now!"

Edward looked at me in shock. "Now?...So soon?"

"Yes! Why not?" I asked incredulously.

"I just didn't think you would want us to marry so soon. I figured you would want to wait a while and plan a big wedding and invite all of your family and friends."

I thought for a long moment about it and decided against it, shrugging my shoulders. "No, I don't want the fuss of planning a wedding and picking out food or figuring out where people should sit. I would rather us just go out and do it, then let everyone know afterward!"

He crooked his lips to the side in thought. "What if your parents become upset or mad with you over it?"

"What can they do? I'm a grown woman and am able to make my own decisions. They won't have much choice but to accept it after the fact."

"True.." he said, not totally buying my explanation. "You do know that they will most probably hate me even more. I don't think it would be wise to make them even more upset with me, especially your Dad."

I narrowed my eyes in determination. "But they aren't the ones that will be spending eternity with me. The only two people who I care about making happy now are the two of us, we really need to stop worrying about everyone else and focus on what we want."

He nodded, "You do have a point and since we're in this together, then whichever you choose that makes you happy then I will support you."

"So we'll go do it now?" I asked, excited.

"My love, you do know that I really need to feed first. It has been a while." He said, attempting to be realistic with me.

I knew he needed to eat and after some thought knew that it wouldn't really be a great idea to run off and get married tonight, though the idea was quite tempting. We needed to take care of ourselves first and foremost, and then we would make plans.

"Okay, let's get you fed first, and then we'll talk about our plans." I offered, wanting to make sure his needs were met before anything else.

He smiled at my offer in agreement and led us back to the car. He helped me back in, made sure I was secure and then told the driver to take us home.

"I say we should make our plans now, that way you have something to look forward to while I head out to hunt later tonight." He said, breaking through the silence in the car.

"Sure.." I said. "But why won't you be hunting as soon as we get back home? I know how badly you need to feed."

"Do you actually think I'm going to just leave you all alone… mere moments after I've just proposed to you?" He shook his head, enticing me. "I think we should…solidify our engagement so to speak."

Reading between the lines I shot him a flirtatious smile. "Oh, but I think we should too."

* * *

**Up next..Chapter 33**


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